A question for the ladies....

CoryIda

I have always gotten along better with men and I married my best friend. Unfortunately, I'm getting ready to go through a divorce and since he was not only my best friend for so long, but also one of my only friends, it's going to be rough.
I don't think I've had a female best friend since I was a kid.

luvmycandies

I have many friends and acquaintances but only a few life long friends. Read the book MWF seeks BFF. It is a true story on this very subject. Great book!

MandaJean83

I personally have never had a "BEST" friend. When I was younger, I tended to get along better with guys than girls, so I had casual girlfriends. Today, at 28, I have close female friends that I can confide in...maybe a handful of them. But we don't talk every day, or even every week. We don't do girls trips or anything. We just care about each other and are there thru the ups and downs of life. But I wouldn't call any of them my "BEST" friend, by any means. In the adult world, with so many time constraints and responsibilities, I think it's hard to cultivate a "best friendship" the older you get.

mom2mozart

I'd have to consider my sister and husband my best friends. I've had very close friends, some good friends, and lots of friendly acquaintences through the years.... But, I can't say that anyone of them is a best friend. I did have best friends as a kid and in high school. I still maintain those friendships - either through facebook or chatting on the phone. We get together occassionally (maybe a few times per year), but time, distance, and the everyday things in life have made it impossible to remain best friends...

Everyone is different... I don't think that everyone needs a best friend. It sure is nice to have someone that loves you for who you are, supports you in your time of need, and kicks you when you need a kick...

hanahlai

Does every woman have a best friend or is every woman supposed to have a best friend?
I've had close friends through school and college but haven't had a really close friend or a best friend since college and that was some time ago. I have co-workers, associates, but no one that I would really consider a best friend. I ask this question because I talking to a co-worker and in our conversation she seemed so surprised that I didn't have a best gal pal to do "girl things" with like vacations, spa, mani-pedi, and just hanging out. Don't get me wrong I've tried to maintain the friendships that I've had but either relocation, change in personality ( they get so consumed in the men they are with or marry that they lose themselves), or our interests change so it dies off. I still speak to old friends but no one close now. What is your take on the adult BFF?

Even the girls I considered my best friend throughout my life (still pretty young at 26.) I never felt like I could truly trust them fully to let them in and know me all the way. Since I started teaching a few years ago, I met another teacher there that I consider my best friend and her husband is actually my husband's best friend now too. We are able to tell each other a lot and do the whole vacation and etc thing. With that said, I know how hard it is to get good friends. I have a few friends outside of this best friend couple of ours, but it's hard to find people who are on the same page. I guess I am very opinionated and liberal in many topics while living in the South it's hard to find likeminded people.....lol Thank G-d for my sisters because it helps to have so many of them!

tataliciousd89

My best friend screwed my ex.... we were broken up, but it still pissed me off. I don't normally hold a grudge, but I still wanna smash her out. I have a bunch of not so close female friends from school, but know that when I graduate we probably wont talk a whole lot. They all have kids and boyfriends or husbands plus a huge course load and are boring. I had a lot of male friends, because of course *****es don't get along with *****es, but I lost contact with most of them as I haven't been single in over 4 years. Oh yeah and all my other friends are total drug addicts.... and I'm in nursing school so I think it is time to put those people behind me.

Long story short my best friend's name is Bella. She is a four legged blonde who is dumber than sin and very naughty, but gives lots of kisses and is an amazing cuddler. As for human friends I'm pretty much starting over.

i_love_vinegar

It's comforting to know that a lot of other women feel the same. I always felt a bit like a weirdo. Okay, so I am a weirdo -- I just meant in respect to good friendships. :indifferent:

kaaaaaaa

I did... But she met a guy, we talked less, then for no reason at all she deleted me on Facebook. Haha I do wish I had girl friends to do things with, my boyfriend is basically my only friend.. Or my sister I guess, but she never wants to do anything.. Lol :ohwell:

Libby81

Does every woman have a best friend or is every woman supposed to have a best friend?
I've had close friends through school and college but haven't had a really close friend or a best friend since college and that was some time ago. I have co-workers, associates, but no one that I would really consider a best friend. I ask this question because I talking to a co-worker and in our conversation she seemed so surprised that I didn't have a best gal pal to do "girl things" with like vacations, spa, mani-pedi, and just hanging out. Don't get me wrong I've tried to maintain the friendships that I've had but either relocation, change in personality ( they get so consumed in the men they are with or marry that they lose themselves), or our interests change so it dies off. I still speak to old friends but no one close now. What is your take on the adult BFF?

I am exactly the same. I had a close group of friends at school which seperated once school finished. I had a few close friends in college which again kinda drifted away once that was done. If you are like me you're also bad at maintainng relationships from your side, thinking that people have their own lives to live and don't need interruptions from you constantly, meaning you gradually don't bother.

I would love to have a close group of pals again

DonnaKAuch

People come in and out of your life as you need them. I have a BFF that I met when I was 16. We were kindred spirits. Since we lived over 1,000 miles away from each other we became pen pals and kept in touch with long letters. I married first and had children first. Our letters became less and less but we stayed in contact through Christmas Cards. I traveled to her city a few times and would get in contact with her but our lives were just busy with living. After my family was raised I just felt I wanted to be more than just a Christmas Card Friend. So I reached out and contacted her. We had so much to say and with Cell, Email and Facebook communicated daily. In the last 7 years we have traveled back and forth at least 3 times a year to visit. When I turned 50 my Husband surprised me by bringing her here to stay a week with me. Last year when my husband died she was the first person I called and she found the first flight out. We share an unconditional love, celebrate each others joys and comfort each others sorrow.

RileeMarie

i dont currently have a (female) bff, i would consider my boyfriend a bff (boy-friend-forever).. i do have close friends but no one i would get super close to and tell all my secrets to. for the most part i am a very private person and dont share to much personal info. at times it would be nice to have that one special female friend that i could confide in, someone that shares and can understand what i am going through.

jacquelyn_erika

I can count on one hand how many friends I have, which to me is a little sad, but a lot of it has to do with relocating as well. I do have a really good friend, who I may even consider a best friend, but we very, very rarely see each other. She only lives an hour and a half away, but between working different schedules and having to make time for everything else, it's hard to spend time with her. It's life - it happens, I guess. So no real best friend here either. No biggie!

Alexstrasza

I have a "best friend", my hubby. That sounds so cliche and silly but it's true. We never get bored with eachother and do everything together. Video games, movies, going out for the day.

There is a gal who is probably the closest friend I have but our friendship goes deeper than the shallow "bff girlfriend" idea. We don't go do mani/pedi's or any of that stuff. We just enjoy eachothers company and happen to share commen interests.

Mallory0418

My best friend, who knew me better than anyone ever has and probably ever will, passed away a couple years ago...so I can't really imagine making a friend that would ever compare to her. Also, being a Navy wife, we move a lot so I find it difficult to make much of an effort to make friends when I know I'll just have to leave them. This probably isn't the best mindset but I've learned to live with it. I do get sad sometimes that I don't have anyone "girlfriends" to do girly things with, but it's made me more independant and able to entertain myself. LOL Just gotta deal with the hand that you were dealt and make the best of it.

Sheila1968

This has been an interesting thread to read. I have a few friends from grade school/high school, and we only see each other every few years now due to distance and life, but we can still chat when we do get together. On a daily basis now, though, it's only my husband. I don't drink and I never do the "girly" stuff, which pretty much leaves me out of most social circles. Interestingly, since my hubby also doesn't drink and doesn't follow sports, he is in the same boat and basically has NO male friends whatsoever, just acquaintances.

Whenever we see those "yard crasher" shows we laugh and say we'd be SOL because we could never find 15 people to come help us. We just really don't have any friends to speak of who are people we see frequently, and we are distant from our families, too. I'll have to find a way to cope if I ever lose him, I know.

Anyway, glad to see I'm not alone in this.

robot_potato

There are very few females that i get along with. I have 2 best friends, my sister, and our other best friend we have known since we were 8&9. There's one other girl I get along with pretty well, aside from those 3 all my friends are guys. Most girls I find to be catty and competitive, and I don't like that.

La_Amazona

Here is my circle.

BFF "R" since 10th grade.
"H" lives in another city but we see each other every 3-4 months. I've known her for about 3 years. We connected since the 1st time we met.
My new friend here in my city, "A" and I hit it off 2 months ago. She knows so much about me (and I her) in the little time we've spent together.
Then I have "D" and "M" in my old city. I don't see them often or talk to them often but when we do it's party. They know everything about me as well.


I think it's very important everyone to have friends, the more you trust them the better.
I know women who have their group of 10 gfs... I couldn't keep up. I rather have my small circle whom know me inside out.

NessasMommy081311

I personally don't like other girls too much...I feel like I'm in constant competition with them. I have like 3 or 4 close girl friends, but best friends? My best friends are guys. They don't expect anything of me, and frankly, most of them think I'm hott. Lol.

Boshnivay

In my lifespan developmental psych class, the professor talked about how it is necessary to have friends more so when you are an adult than when you're a kid. Obviously, friends are important at any stages of life, but when you are an adult, your parents, siblings, or other friends may pass away, move away, or simply not talk to you as much anymore, and everyone needs someone to be there for them in hard times. Friends are what help stress go away sometimes. Hope you find at least one person you can depend on (man or woman, doesn't matter), good luck!

Farfourah

My sisters and my mom are my best friends!