What would you do in this situation? Very stressed over this

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  • wapan
    wapan Posts: 219 Member
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    It sounds like you want to say no. So do it quickly. The more time you hesitate, the more stress you are giving yourself and them. (My motto is always - if you can't afford to give it, don't lend it.)
  • billgiersberg
    billgiersberg Posts: 163
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    This person sounds like a lot more than a good friend. They almost sound like family. I can understand the stress of the situation. Nobody here knows the level of trust between the two of you but if you let a child stay with them like you said the trust must be high. Depending on the trust you have in them, loaning an "almost like family" friend might be safe. That being said, I would never borrow money to lend to anyone except my son and then I'd have to think about it a while. I hope things work out for you...and your friend.
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    This person sounds like a lot more than a good friend. They almost sound like family. I can understand the stress of the situation. Nobody here knows the level of trust between the two of you but if you let a child stay with them like you said the trust must be high. Depending on the trust you have in them, loaning an "almost like family" friend might be safe. That being said, I would never borrow money to lend to anyone except my son and then I'd have to think about it a while. I hope things work out for you...and your friend.

    Except this person has bad credit and is unable to secure a loan themselves. This money will go down the drain for the OP. Don't do it.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    This person sounds like a lot more than a good friend. They almost sound like family. I can understand the stress of the situation. Nobody here knows the level of trust between the two of you but if you let a child stay with them like you said the trust must be high. Depending on the trust you have in them, loaning an "almost like family" friend might be safe. That being said, I would never borrow money to lend to anyone except my son and then I'd have to think about it a while. I hope things work out for you...and your friend.


    I completely understand the level of friendship/family member, but as you stated, I would be hard pressed to take out a loan to help get their "income producing" property back in good standing, especially if my own family could use it to catch up on bills, etc. Otherwise, if I had it to give, I would do it, for family, or one who is like family.

    This situation has to be a tough one to be in. :frown:
  • KeriA
    KeriA Posts: 3,275 Member
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    I definitely agree never loan so much money to a friend that you can't afford to make it a gift. For me this leaves out taking out a loan to pay for that because you obviously can't afford to give them that much or you wouldn't have to take out a loan. I might co sign on a small loan if I really felt they could pay it. $5,000 sounds like it is more than you can handle if finances are tight for you too. It has to be low enough that you can afford to lose it. If you were caught having to pay the loan back on your own how would it affect your relationship? I think it would really hurt it. They would feel bad and you would feel bad. You are honoring your friendship by not putting it in jeopardy. Help them in another way that isn't so risky to the relationship. If they are true friends they will understand and frankly I wonder at them asking this of you at all.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    NEVER sign for someone else's loan.... EVER... If they can't get a loan on their own, they are a serious credit risk to you. Don't give in.


    DON'T DO IT.
  • dls1957
    dls1957 Posts: 34 Member
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    don't do it.
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
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    You have to go with your gut on this... you could draft a contract with her/him
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    Family or friends, regardless...don't do it. In my family none of us will take out a loan for one another because no one wants to be in the position to have a future issue. I have the same rule with my friends...I won't loan you money nor will I cosign. I will be a personal character reference, but that is the most.
  • MikeSEA
    MikeSEA Posts: 1,074 Member
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    WWSOD

    What would Suze Orman do? Which is to say, no, I wouldn't.
  • bharriscar
    bharriscar Posts: 91 Member
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    Don't do it, it will backfire on you.
    Have them take out a loan based on their tax return.

    Signed "Advice from an old guy who's been there."
  • skylark94
    skylark94 Posts: 2,036 Member
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    If you have to take out a loan to get them the money, then ABSOLUTLEY NOT!

    I have learned to never, ever, ever, lend out money that you can't afford to lose.
  • davitalynette
    davitalynette Posts: 117 Member
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    If you can't go without the money, then you CANT help. If you are, however, ABLE to help, I would help no questions asked! Social capital is more important in my opinion...
  • askme12
    askme12 Posts: 155 Member
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    "do not lend money to a friend unless you can live with the possibility of not being repaid". If you are not in a position where you could make it a gift instead of a loan, simply explain your circumstance and hope the friendship is enough to overcome any hard feelings.

    I hope it works out for you.

    This^
  • LastSixtySix
    LastSixtySix Posts: 352 Member
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    Listen to your instincts. Seems they are telling you the truth - run, don't walk away from this. It will add stress to your life and. . .pounds. It is NOT being selfish to say "no". It is being honest with your limitations.

    Now, if you are independently wealthy, no stress. Who cares? But, it also sounds like the timing is just too much too fast. No No No NO NO NO.

    Good luck with your decision.
  • bella_babe_86
    bella_babe_86 Posts: 503 Member
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    Money and Friendship just doesnt mix, someones feelings always get hurt. Explain to your friend that you just are financially stable enough to do this at the moment and help him/her out by finding other options.
  • ElizBald
    ElizBald Posts: 20
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    If the friendship dies because you can't lend the money then, at least, you are not in a financial bind as you might be if the money couldn't be paid back.
  • Pifflesmom
    Pifflesmom Posts: 134 Member
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    That's a bad situation, and frankly, unfair of your friends to even ask you for that kind of commitment.

    Lending money is always such a touchy thing; I've done it and been burned badly - but I've also done it and been paid back. It's a tough call.

    If it were me, however, I would have to say no - you're risking your own good reputation and credit rating and that's something, that if their plans go awry, will affect you for a very long time. What happens if this 'tax money' doesn't come through for whatever reason? Then what?

    Good luck.
  • MMarvelous
    MMarvelous Posts: 1,067 Member
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    Tell them you will BUY the home from them or have a document drawn up stating if they default on repaying you, that you gain ownership of the home. But I would not be surprised if a mortgage was NOT on that property or another lien. Do some research. BUT HAVE A SIGNED CONTRACT if you decide to give them the money.
  • grinch031
    grinch031 Posts: 1,679
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    Listen to your instincts. Seems they are telling you the truth - run, don't walk away from this. It will add stress to your life and. . .pounds. It is NOT being selfish to say "no". It is being honest with your limitations.

    I get the impression that listening to her instincts is actually the wrong decision. I think she's trying to rationalize taking out the loan because her friend has been so good to her over the years and isn't the *typical* deadbeat friend who borrows money and then doesn't have the means to pay it back. So her instinct is trying to say, "its okay because this situation is atypical".

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