Would you cheat? Part 2/rephrased

NessasMommy081311

Okay, so I have another thread on here that apparently is upsetting some people, so I am starting a new one and re phrasing the question....

Does your significant other's weight affect how you are attracted to them? Do you feel you would be more attracted to them if they lost/gained weight? I am asking because I am married, have gained a bit of weight since we got together, and now am trying to get back to what I weighed when we met. I've seen how my weight gain has affected our physical connection in our marriage, and want to know if anybody else has this issue...

11Jayme11

First off... I would never cheat on my husband because of his weight. we have hd 2 childern togeher, and he too ha gained weight along with me durring both pregnancies. We both have a bond(as husbands and wives do) that nothing can change. I look at him better now, than I did when we first met 8 years ago! I would love him now.. or 3000 pounds from now. As far as you and your husbands physical connection since youve gained weight.. I dont know what to tell you. I know it must be hard... But this does not sound slike a marrage. Marrage is for better or worse... skinny to fat. I have gained 60 lbs since me and mine have ben married.. and we have more sex now than we ever have(SRY.. TMI). Nothing to do with appearance. When you REALLY love your partner, your attraced to them in every way, not just looks. I find my husband to be sexy, and very disarable even though hes gained 30 lbs.. if not MORE sexy now... Were together in this... its a bond you have when its real.

TK266

I don't know about cheating, but I know when I was at my heaviest my SO was a little less interested in me in "that way". I did not think it was superficial, just honest.

of course trying to find "special" time when working around jobs, workouts and life in general put a bigger kabash us then weight ever did. :laugh:



**I changed it to say "did not think it was superficial", which is what I meant.

_binary_jester_

I don't know about cheating, but I know when I was at my heaviest my SO was a little less interested in me in "that way". I did think it was superficial, just honest.

of course trying to find "special" time when working around jobs, workouts and life in general put a bigger kabash us then weight ever did. :laugh:

Exactly. Anyone who says, "Oh gosh I love my SO, even when he/she ballooned up 300+ pounds" is fooling themselves.

DarthCeltic

still the answer is the same.. it got lost totally... and i got moved to the bench.. since i was to lazy to work to get off the bench.. i still sit there.. luckly my balls are in the jar next me.. so i have good company..

felice03

I don't know about cheating, but I know when I was at my heaviest my SO was a little less interested in me in "that way". I did think it was superficial, just honest.

of course trying to find "special" time when working around jobs, workouts and life in general put a bigger kabash us then weight ever did. :laugh:

Exactly. Anyone who says, "Oh gosh I love my SO, even when he/she ballooned up 300+ pounds" is fooling themselves.

oh I LOVED him...didn't love boning him :drinker:


I am sure he felt the same way...

11Jayme11

I don't know about cheating, but I know when I was at my heaviest my SO was a little less interested in me in "that way". I did think it was superficial, just honest.

of course trying to find "special" time when working around jobs, workouts and life in general put a bigger kabash us then weight ever did. :laugh:

Exactly. Anyone who says, "Oh gosh I love my SO, even when he/she ballooned up 300+ pounds" is fooling themselves.

actually NOT fooling myself... I would love him. NOW... if the weight loss was completly from lckt of will to thrive.. than thats a whole other story. I would still "Love" him.. but would have to draw the line. We all gained weight from one reason or another..

Il_DaniD_lI

To be completely honest.. I would be much less attracted to my boyfriend if he gained weight (more so if he lost muscle)..but no I would not cheat. I would encourage him to diet and exercise.

angied80

I don't know about cheating, but I know when I was at my heaviest my SO was a little less interested in me in "that way". I did think it was superficial, just honest.

of course trying to find "special" time when working around jobs, workouts and life in general put a bigger kabash us then weight ever did. :laugh:

Exactly. Anyone who says, "Oh gosh I love my SO, even when he/she ballooned up 300+ pounds" is fooling themselves.

oh I LOVED him...didn't love boning him :drinker:

can we still be friends?

TK266

.. luckly my balls are in the jar next me.. so i have good company..

I think they did that operation wrong. :laugh: :laugh:

lorac321

You want honesty? I wouldnt' cheat on my husband but do I find him less sexually attractive since he's gained a lot of weight. Yes. Sorry but it's true. Doesn't mean I don't love him, just means I don't want him to walk around naked as much.

CoryIda

When I got married, I was 100 pounds heavier than my husband (and 4 1/2 inches taller). I am now 40+ pounds less than him.
He certainly appreciated the way I look now more than the way I used to look, but his chunkiness had no bearing on my attraction to him - his personality and sense of responsibility did.
We're splitting up now his weight (or mine) had no bearing on it, although it did get a little aggravating to hear that I am much more attractive "now that you're not all covered in lard" and other such lovely comments.

JanieJack

I've seen how my weight gain has affected our physical connection in our marriage, and want to know if anybody else has this issue...

No longer married (neither one of us cheated physically, but he emotionally bonded with other women during our marriage).

Yes, my weight played a huge role in our connection in marriage. NOT saying someone is justified in cheating if his wife has put on weight, but the times when I was heavier he was not attracted to me and let me know it. It hurt, too, because it was usually due to things like surgery, steroids, pregnancy, that are difficult to maintain weight. I'm actually heavier now than my usually "married" weight, and I think I actually look pretty good.

Conversely, my ex LOST a lot of weight (he's one of those naturally thin guys who has to work super hard just to gain 5 pounds). Yes, it was a turn off physically (I like men with padding) but it DID NOT change my love for him or my desire to "be his wife" in the bedroom.

Il_DaniD_lI

You want honesty? I wouldnt' cheat on my husband but do I find him less sexually attractive since he's gained a lot of weight. Yes. Sorry but it's true. Doesn't mean I don't love him, just means I don't want him to walk around naked as much.

I LOL'd at the walking around naked part :laugh:

_snw_

same answer.

Yes. I would be less physically attracted. Attraction is not a individual descision.

wolfehound22

I dont think there is an easy black in white answer to this, i will say i would never cheat, its just not in my nature. But i can see how if u let yourself go there could be less action in the bedroom. For me and my wife its been more often since i lost the weight, whether this is more from attraction, or the fact im in better shape, and so is she, that we feel better about ourselves, plus it helps we have better endurance and blood flow.

I think when u marry it is for better or for worse, but not everyone stands by that, and i can easily see the attraction deminishing whether its subconceouse or not.

Bentley2718

of course trying to find "special" time when working around jobs, workouts and life in general put a bigger kabash us then weight ever did. :laugh:

This is so true.

When I met my husband I was about 180, my low weight while we have been together was about 135, and recently I was almost 165 (although a lot more muscular than I was at 135). He has always found me attractive. If my weight influenced our sex life, it had more to do with how I felt about my body, than how he did.

As for him, I'm not sure how him gaining a lot of weight would effect our physical relationship. If he lost much weight I'd take him to the doctor (he's tall and lanky as it is, so losing a lot of weight would make him unhealthy).

From your first topic post, it sounds like you're worried your husband is cheating. That's a whole different conversation.

TDGee

Just a thought. Try talking to YOUR HUSBAND about this. I would think his opinion on this matter would mean a bit more than random internet strangers. :flowerforyou:

SofaKingRad

Yeah I'd still be physically attracted to my wife if she gained weight. Hell, it'd be pretty bad if I wasn't given that my weight has gone up and down a lot in the 7 years we've been married.

_binary_jester_

same answer.

Yes. I would be less physically attracted. Attraction is not a individual descision.

Isn't it funny. You hint, hint, hint. The you come right out and say it and suddenly you are the jerk. Never is it their fault. Attraction subsides...you look for attention elsewhere. And you are the villain.

UsedToBeHusky

I look at it as more of a health perspective. I would not be less attracted to my SO for weighing more. However, the larger you are, the less physical the interaction can be. Desire, agility, and stamina are all things that can be impacted by weight. Therefore, I might not find him less attractive, though the desire might be diminished.

NessasMommy081311

This thread had nothing to do with me. I know my husband isn't cheating. I talk to him about everything. I am insecure about my body and everything, but I know he couldn't cheat on me, even if he wanted to. I do know however, that my weight gain has affected our sex life by quite a bit, but he still loves me for me. (God only knows why! )

UsedToBeHusky

Just a thought. Try talking to YOUR HUSBAND about this. I would think his opinion on this matter would mean a bit more than random internet strangers. :flowerforyou:

^^This, most definitely.

sjmgde

Just a thought. Try talking to YOUR HUSBAND about this. I would think his opinion on this matter would mean a bit more than random internet strangers. :flowerforyou:

^^^^^This^^^^^

jackpotclown

Either way, I wouldn't cheat...I think being the supportive spouse is a much better approach

I don't think you're going to get a much better result since the overall consensus is that you're asking people how shallow are you when it comes to your partner....you can dress it up all you want, but your answers are going to be pretty much the same, and the people who were offended before will still be now.....

I'm also willing to bet that your insecurity is what has fueled these threads

_snw_

same answer.

Yes. I would be less physically attracted. Attraction is not a individual descision.

Isn't it funny. You hint, hint, hint. The you come right out and say it and suddenly you are the jerk. Never is it their fault. Attraction subsides...you look for attention elsewhere. And you are the villain.

i'm always the villain because i am honest with myself. i'm totally okay with it.

haylz24

Well I would never cheat on my bf. He has an amazing body! But he's been totally honest with me about my weight gain and as much as it upset me, it's made me want to lose the weight. Lost about 9lbs since December. I feel so much better now

billsica

I think you are all being so shallow. if you are attracted to anyone for other than their personality or the way they act then you should go for whatever you think is attractive.
You should just go down tot he bar and score any college age people you can. I'm sure they are pretty lame to talk to, but hey, why should you care about that. I find this sickening, to reducing your significant other to man cattle.

BeeElMarvin

I don't know about cheating, but I know when I was at my heaviest my SO was a little less interested in me in "that way". I did think it was superficial, just honest.

of course trying to find "special" time when working around jobs, workouts and life in general put a bigger kabash us then weight ever did. :laugh:

Exactly. Anyone who says, "Oh gosh I love my SO, even when he/she ballooned up 300+ pounds" is fooling themselves.

oh I LOVED him...didn't love boning him :drinker:


I am sure he felt the same way...

^^^ This exactly! ^^^

_binary_jester_

same answer.

Yes. I would be less physically attracted. Attraction is not a individual descision.

Isn't it funny. You hint, hint, hint. The you come right out and say it and suddenly you are the jerk. Never is it their fault. Attraction subsides...you look for attention elsewhere. And you are the villain.

i'm always the villain because i am honest with myself. i'm totally okay with it.

Honesty is rare considering how often marriages end in divorce and the number of affairs committed in marriages.

runnercheryl

My fiancé is morbidly obese, and I find him very attractive of course. He's been morbidly obese since I met him, but has become bigger during that time and we got engaged in August last year. I've never known him slim, and I certainly don't mind his size - I think he's gorgeous - but falling in love with him and choosing to marry him has made me aware that I'm likely to be alone very early in life, and to be lonely in old age, and those things play on my mind. I'd love for him to lose weight so I have more time with him, but not for his looks. I don't even know what he'd look like slimmer, but I do know I hate muscles and could probably never get used to that. However he is weight-wise, as long as he's happy that's all that matters. I think he looks fantastic.