Respect

xo_morgan

My mother & i have been getting into it really bad lately. It honestly all started when she got drunk and was texting while driving. I didnt think she was drunk at all, i asked her if she was okay to drive and she told me to shut the hell up, shes an adult..Ok mom? She almost drove us off a cliff (not being dramatic..like literally almost drove us off a cliff.) & i told her to stop texting while driving and to pull over & we were calling someone to come get us...She told me to "Shut the f^@k up you f^*king b!tch".... oh alright?

Ever since then its gone kind of down hill. i lost A LOT of respect for her even though she is my mother. i tried talking to her about it one day & she thought it was hilarious that she said that to me while she was drunk.

Long long long story semi short...shes struggling right now with bills & her house. ive been living in her apartment downstairs from her house trying to help her out a little bit & pay her. I honestly cant take it anymore though. She asked to see my paychecks.. so she can 'determine' how much she should get from rent for me.

Mind you the house is very small, theres a leak every time it rains or snows, & theres mold starting to form in my daughters room! so she has been sleeping upstairs because i dont know what kind of mold/if its dangerous. She wants 500 a month from me. Not only am i only 21 years old, with a daughter (im not blaming anyone & it was my choice to keep my daughter) i dont have my college degree yet, (also my fault but working on it!) im a receptionist & the money i make has to go to my bills, & my daughter! i could afford to give her 500, but if im paying 500 i want a lot more space & i want a clean..healthy house to live in.

I guess i just wanted to vent & to see what you guys would do if you were in a similar situation. :ohwell:

You are 21, an adult, with adult responsibilities. You shouldn't rely on your mom, or anyone for anything. If you don't like it there leave. Can you live anywhere else for 500 a month? If not she's obviously doing you a favor by letting you stay there weather you pay rent or not. You should just be grateful you're not homeless and maybe fix your own living quarters so it is suitable. It sounds like your mom feels like you are taking advantage of her.
My mom let my older sister move in with her baby, 25 years later she still cant make it on her own. and now her daughter, husband and children are living with my mom. My mom is so nice, and would never leave anyone out in the cold. But i can see she's doing more harm than good by letting them all live there. it's so sad.

You can do this! There are so many young single parents out there making it on their own. Do it for yourself, do it for your baby.

There are plenty of places i could live for 500 a month. im not taking advantage of her at all. When i first lived there i paid her 400 a month. her monthly expenses are around 1200. Shes 42 years old. i feel like 800 a month should be nothing for her. She has a good paying job. Yes, i am happy that im not homeless obviously but i feel like she thinks that she can just ask/do whatever to me just because she is my mother.

A lot of the times i feel her choices are childish & that i end up having to take care of her for them. Well me, & everyone else in our family.

She keeps pushing me to take my child father for child support because she feels its "best" for me. I feel she thinks its best for her because its more of an income into my pocket & she can ask for more from me. My daughters father & i get along great & i feel a custody battle will just shake things up. He pays me regularly. She just doesnt see any of it. She wants me to get on WIC, Food Stamps, & whatever else i can. I think food stamps are great for people who need them, ive just never wanted to be on them.

She only thinks about herself.

MrsLVF

My mother & i have been getting into it really bad lately. It honestly all started when she got drunk and was texting while driving. I didnt think she was drunk at all, i asked her if she was okay to drive and she told me to shut the hell up, shes an adult..Ok mom? She almost drove us off a cliff (not being dramatic..like literally almost drove us off a cliff.) & i told her to stop texting while driving and to pull over & we were calling someone to come get us...She told me to "Shut the f^@k up you f^*king b!tch".... oh alright?

Ever since then its gone kind of down hill. i lost A LOT of respect for her even though she is my mother. i tried talking to her about it one day & she thought it was hilarious that she said that to me while she was drunk.

Long long long story semi short...shes struggling right now with bills & her house. ive been living in her apartment downstairs from her house trying to help her out a little bit & pay her. I honestly cant take it anymore though. She asked to see my paychecks.. so she can 'determine' how much she should get from rent for me.

Mind you the house is very small, theres a leak every time it rains or snows, & theres mold starting to form in my daughters room! so she has been sleeping upstairs because i dont know what kind of mold/if its dangerous. She wants 500 a month from me. Not only am i only 21 years old, with a daughter (im not blaming anyone & it was my choice to keep my daughter) i dont have my college degree yet, (also my fault but working on it!) im a receptionist & the money i make has to go to my bills, & my daughter! i could afford to give her 500, but if im paying 500 i want a lot more space & i want a clean..healthy house to live in.

I guess i just wanted to vent & to see what you guys would do if you were in a similar situation. :ohwell:

You are 21, an adult, with adult responsibilities. You shouldn't rely on your mom, or anyone for anything. If you don't like it there leave. Can you live anywhere else for 500 a month? If not she's obviously doing you a favor by letting you stay there weather you pay rent or not. You should just be grateful you're not homeless and maybe fix your own living quarters so it is suitable. It sounds like your mom feels like you are taking advantage of her.
My mom let my older sister move in with her baby, 25 years later she still cant make it on her own. and now her daughter, husband and children are living with my mom. My mom is so nice, and would never leave anyone out in the cold. But i can see she's doing more harm than good by letting them all live there. it's so sad.

You can do this! There are so many young single parents out there making it on their own. Do it for yourself, do it for your baby.

There are plenty of places i could live for 500 a month. im not taking advantage of her at all. When i first lived there i paid her 400 a month. her monthly expenses are around 1200. Shes 42 years old. i feel like 800 a month should be nothing for her. She has a good paying job. Yes, i am happy that im not homeless obviously but i feel like she thinks that she can just ask/do whatever to me just because she is my mother.

A lot of the times i feel her choices are childish & that i end up having to take care of her for them. Well me, & everyone else in our family.

She keeps pushing me to take my child father for child support because she feels its "best" for me. I feel she thinks its best for her because its more of an income into my pocket & she can ask for more from me. My daughters father & i get along great & i feel a custody battle will just shake things up. He pays me regularly. She just doesnt see any of it. She wants me to get on WIC, Food Stamps, & whatever else i can. I think food stamps are great for people who need them, ive just never wanted to be on them.

She only thinks about herself.

Is your mom recommending those things because you are below the poverty level? I mean if you're not you wouldn't qualify for them anyway. Or maybe she just feels your a grown woman, and should be out on your own. If she's that bad, and her behavior is that destructive you need to ask yourself why are you living with your mother if you can afford to live somewhere else? What benefits are you gaining from that arrangement? Maybe she is thinking about herself, but it is her house. I obviously don't know the whole story, but if you're asking her to do anything more than you would ask a landlord to do you are getting an added benefit of living with mom. Why do you chose to live there? It sounds like you would be better off on your own, and you're very lucky your child has a dad that's in the picture, a lot of young moms are not that lucky..

I can see why you wouldn't want a custody battle, but its only a battle if you disagree. If you have an arrangement make it legal in court. Eventually, when you enroll your child for school you will need to get a legal court document showing you have custody of your child. it's best to do that sooner, rather than later. If you get along with the dad you can come to an agreement yourselves as far as custody arrangements and child support, if he's paying now it shouldn't be an issue for him. I know in my state they don't have to take it out of his check, he can still pay directly. I did my custody/child support without a lawyer. there are free websites, you just fill in the blanks & print.

xo_morgan

Is your mom recommending those things because you are below the poverty level? I mean if you're not you wouldn't qualify for them anyway. Or maybe she just feels your a grown woman, and should be out on your own. If she's that bad, and her behavior is that destructive you need to ask yourself why are you living with your mother if you can afford to live somewhere else? What benefits are you gaining from that arrangement? Maybe she is thinking about herself, but it is her house. I obviously don't know the whole story, but if you're asking her to do anything more than you would ask a landlord to do you are getting an added benefit of living with mom. Why do you chose to live there? It sounds like you would be better off on your own, and you're very lucky your child has a dad that's in the picture, a lot of young moms are not that lucky..

I can see why you wouldn't want a custody battle, but its only a battle if you disagree. If you have an arrangement make it legal in court. Eventually, when you enroll your child for school you will need to get a legal court document showing you have custody of your child. it's best to do that sooner, rather than later. If you get along with the dad you can come to an agreement yourselves as far as custody arrangements and child support, if he's paying now it shouldn't be an issue for him. I know in my state they don't have to take it out of his check, he can still pay directly. I did my custody/child support without a lawyer. there are free websites, you just fill in the blanks & print.

Nope, not below poverty level & no..she doesnt feel i should be out on my own. lol that is what im venting about! Her taking advantage, not the other way around. I'm the one helping her, she isnt helping me.

&not sure how this turned into how im so lucky because her father is in the picture lol. Yes, i am but most fathers SHOULD be in the picture shouldnt they? And more credit to the women who can do it without fathers who care.

i_love_vinegar

Are there any other family members who might be willing to help her out? Maybe some of her friends?

It seems that you are already juggling a lot of responsibilities. Could you possibly stay with a friend instead?

Good luck!