Is anyone scared to lose weight?

purplep41n

I don't think this is a silly a question because I honestly think that I subconsciously fear being thinner.

There a few z-list celebrities who are constantly in the news for gaining and losing weight. One of them has a programme about it, Claire from Steps and she was posed any interesting question/thought by someone she brought in to kick her into shape - I think he was essentially asking her that if she wasn't in the papers all the time for being a yoyo dieter - what else would she have? Was she addicted to the press it provided. Did it suit her currently to be a celebrity for these reasons.

When I was younger and single I always got a lot of attention from men when I lost weight, I never got slimmer than a size 16 and I am a gothy geek but obviously the carefree attitude that blossomed from being slimmer made me more attractive and it was always a problem with at least one female friend at each time I have gone through these episodes. I am now getting married so this is not a potential issue anymore if I lose weight and I just don't surround myself with those kind of people anymore.

So what am I scared of now? I must be scared to be slimmer otherwise I wouldn't go out of my way to keep ruining an successful effort I make to lose weight.

Do any of you believe that this may a question you may need to ask yourselves?

StarkLark

I'm not necessarily scared to lose weight, but am scared of all the saggy skin. I can already see it starting and I am sure I will need some extensive plastic surgery at some point. And the prospect of getting cut up and stitched back together is one I find rather terrifying.

Although I never regret my new lifestyle I ironically think that someone with really saggy skin looks worse (or at least more shocking) than someone who is extremely overweight. I stay focused by telling myself that you can fix bad skin, but you can't fix a fatal heart attack

Losing weight means many changes in your life, so there can be a lot of unknowns that can cause you fear or anxiety. Worries about how your friends, fiance or family will react are all common. Just keep in mind that it's all worth it and anyone who really cares for you will support you (even if you have to have a convo to set them straight!)

castadiva

I think it's a very important question, and one I Identify strongly with. The majority of people don't put on large amounts of weight for no reason. Sometimes it's medical, sometimes (I'd guess very frequently)it's emotional. For me, fear of success and the self-doubt that goes along with that has two facets - one personal, one professional. As a lifelong singleton, if I can blame that status on my weight, then I don't have to accept that the problem is my personality and who I am rather than my visual appearance. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, and mostly kept it off until I met a guy I really, REALLY liked, at which point I started eating everything in sight and eventually ballooned to my highest-ever adult weight... It's as if by staying fat, or at least bigger-than-average, I can ensure (in my own mind) that no-one will want me, so there's no fear of rejection of me, rather than of my body.

Professionally, my weight can be a scapegoat too - I didn't get that role because such and such a director/conductor/producer didn't like the way I look, rather than because they didn't like the way I sing/act or because I'm not good enough to make it. This is less of an issue, really, as I do have a fair amount of self-belief, professionally, but I have used my weight as a perceived reason for professional failure as well, on occasion.

I don't know what the solution is, but I am trying really hard to stay on track this time. It's weird though to know that you realy want to meet a potential SO, and yet his appearance is likely to pose a risk to continued health!

Weighinginwithmy02

I self sabotage for sure and I still don't know if I'm quite sure as to the root of the problem but I have learned to deal with emotions in an emotional way, not with food, which was a really big accomplishment for me. Like when most brides were going all crazy losing weight to look good in their wedding dress, I was busy packing on some extra poundage for...??? I don't know why. I was probably just dealing with the stress of the wedding by eating.

I'm glad your no longer surrounding yourself by people who would have an issue with a healthier you. Not the kind of friends you (or anybody) need!

rundgrenfan

Great topic.

I was talking to an acquaintance who recently lost a lot of weight for health reasons and so she could donate a kidney. Another (very thin) woman congratulated her on the weight loss and commented how great and young she looked.

A few days later, the first friend said to me that she gets so hurt by the people who just dwell on how she LOOKS so good now, because she really did this for health reasons. Without thinking, I blurted out that I didn't even notice that that comment might be hurtful because I'm so used to assuming that people don't see me as a "real" person but just as a fat person. And I realized that maybe I AM scared of being anything other than the funny, fun, fat friend. It made me wonder if that's why I just can't seem to master this one aspect of my life--maybe I sort of don't want to.

LexieSweetheart

YES!! my entire life I have been big! My entire sense of self revolves around being big so I am kinda scared that I won't know who I am without the weight. I also feel my weight keeps me invisible which keeps people from becoming close to me and getting hurt

eelane

I'm a bit scared as well, but it seems like for different reasons. I want to look good, but I don't enjoy being "checked out". I'm also scared of gaining it back after all my hard work.

kayla7303

I don't think I'm scared. I just have no idea what it will be like. I haven't been small since 6th grade, then I plumped up. lol. I'm excited and nervous.

twilighttabby

I am. My husband and I have been together for 18 years. He LOVES big girls. So I am scared that if I lose weight he may leave me for a bigger women. I know in my heart that he loves me for me but it is still in the back of my mind. Or that he will cheat on me with a big girl. But I have to do this for my kids and myself. If he does then he never loved me to begin with.

Erchu12

I don't think I'm scared. I just have no idea what it will be like. I haven't been small since 6th grade, then I plumped up. lol. I'm excited and nervous.

This is pretty much how I feel about it too. I'm not particularly scare of losing weight as much as I'm 'scared' of being something/someone I've never really been before. It's like a mixture of nerves, excitement and curiosity.

Alex_is_Hawks

I am terrified of losing weight and the social ramifications of it. It's not stopping me from doing this because I NEED to be healthy for my daughter and give her 100% of me as well as the best role model she can have. I'm also doing it for me, because i need to feel better about myself and eradicate the chances of having down the road weight related health issues.

But does that make me less scared of it? Hell no.

I was quite thin prior to age 17 and then something happened in my life that was unexpected, traumatic and horrifying. I've been big ever since then. I didn't want to be noticed, i didn't want to be big.

But even back then after the incident, i ballooned up to a size 16 and found that that size let me have curves and be the pretty "bigger" girl and still do my dance, my walleyball, my baseball and have friends without feeling threatened.

But then I got into college and I unconsciously felt that a size 18-20 was "safer" and then i had my daughter and things really started to spiral out of control.....

So here I am in my late 30's and getting control over my life again and pretty terrified about it. But it's happening and i'm strong enough to handle it.

Raina27

I can definitely relate to both Lexie and Twilight! I have been a big gurl all my life and I guess I just got used to being the "big gurl with the pretty face"! I am also married to a man who likes big gurls so I do wonder if I were to get skinny 1. Will I get big-headed for a while and 2. How will he feel about it! I'm ready to lose the weight but im also scared in a way too!!

sleepytexan

It is always easier to stay the same than to change. It's really really hard to change and the question in the back of your mind is always there -- "what will it be like?", or "what if I fail?", or "what if I don't like it", etc. etc.

This is the same premise as why people stay in an abusive relationship, miserable job, place that hate to live, etc. etc. -- the unpleasantness is at least known, and that is less frightening than the unknown. Also, the unpleasantness of any situation can easily be rationalized as "not that bad".

floweringcurrant

I don't think I am necessarily afraid, but I definitely do have something going on in my mind sometimes that makes me think "hm, maybe I am fine just the way I am, what will I look like when I reach my goal, etc. etc. etc." I do get more attention now that I'm thinner. I feel more confident, I have different expectations for myself in some ways... so it is different, and it can be intimidating. Mostly I think it is a change, and we all resist change at times.

cardglor

Excellent question. so why might I be afraid to lose weight? Hmmm. Last time I lost weight, people were telling me good I looked. Okay, that's nice. So then the pressure was on to maintain the status quo because now it was out there. So how was I going to handle stress if I couldn't put food in my mouth for comfort? So what if I slipped once in a while? the results were going to be visible if I gained weight. I really had to get honest with myself about my relationship with food and where it fit in with my life. It had been a "friend" for a long, long time. Even if I didn't like the outcome, I could certainly count on it for a quick "fix". Logging into MFP did a lot for me. There was no pressure, no judgement, no tricks, no quick fixes. Just ordinary people trying to take care of themselves, trying to be healthy and trying to support one another. Sounds good to me.:happy:

solarpower03

Scared to lose muscles but not fat!

BellydanceBliss

i used to be because of saggy skin. While I have some from a previous 150 lb loss it is what it is. I decided to do what to some seems impossible and bulk and lose weight at the same time. No easy task. I no longer care. I am trusting for God to get me through it all and at least I will be able to move. I am 43 I am not doing this to be sexy I have no interest in wearing a bikini. My only interests with it are to try to repair this temple God gave me and to be around for my family to be a loud obnoxious grandmother, and drive all my kids starj raving mad for the rest of their lives.

adross3

What is the difference between scared and afraid?

mistyrider

For me, I feel safer when I'm big. I waffle between a size 12-14 (currently 201 lbs), but I know that my healthy weight/size (factoring in muscle, because I have a fairly muscular build under my insulation) is a 8-9. I lost weight once before, and got down to 165, and felt really healthy. However, I felt really uncomfortable with the attention from men. I'm uncomfortable around guys at the nest of times, and getting physical attention from them made me feel really, really unsafe, and quite scared me. Over the span of a few months, I put the weight back on, and felt much, much "safer". Past experiences have left me really petrified of getting involved with another guy, and I know that I use my weight as a defence against that kind of attention, because I really can't imagine myself being able to "go there" as it were.

noturshorte

I don't think I'm scared. I just have no idea what it will be like. I haven't been small since 6th grade, then I plumped up. lol. I'm excited and nervous.

This is pretty much how I feel about it too. I'm not particularly scare of losing weight as much as I'm 'scared' of being something/someone I've never really been before. It's like a mixture of nerves, excitement and curiosity.

same here!

happyjoyousfree1

It's been a long time since I've had my weight off too! and yes I'm scared . People are starting to notice and yes comment.
And instead of feeling good about the comment, compliments I'm worried about the maintenance, Imagine I'm only half way there and I'm already worried about gainning it back.
Why is it everyone else's business when you gain or lose a few pounds. My family and friends are sincere naturally, but it's the others. Like my co workers. You know how people always feel like they can touch a pregnant womans belly?
I hate the remarks it just makes me more uncomfortable.
I also have felt safer a little heavier. the bigger funnier girl friend. No one minds their husbands talking to you when you're the big girl friend, No not so mch. I just wish you could be normal sized and blend:)

chrissismone

I can relate to too many post here. I have always been big. I was always the fly big girl. I was always told your great just the way I am. But deep inside I noticed those that were pretty and slim got the man,got pampered,got the attention and praise, and got whatever they needed from people because everyone likes to help the pretty girl. Pretty for me means skinny simple as that. I have always had a mean attitude because I'm fat and I know that I didn't need some person to try and get close to me and tell me that. I have allowed my weight and past issues interfere in my progress in life. At times I'm hestitant in applying for certain jobs,really going out and trying new things because I'm ashamed of what I see in the mirror. I can make it look nice but I always feel so insecure and feel I have to go over and beyond to have people at least deal with me. This right now makes me want to cry a bit. I'm in my journey and I'm more than lost 44 lbs since I wouldn't look at the scale when I started. I get scared am I going to fail ? I know people say oh failure isn't a option. What the **** ever. It happens. I don't like starting new things unless I feel I can be successful. I think to a degree for me alot of attention would be horrid because then people would be able to see this raw me the one who grew up in the hood and didn't have and doesn't have certain things isn't farther along as she should be. Yea losing weight scares me.

pdworkman

A friend of mine who has lost a lot of weight posted on her blog the other day that the fat "protected" her emotionally, and that walking around without it now feels like walking around naked. I know others who have been sexually abused who got fat as a defence; if they weren't attractive, they wouldn't be attacked. It makes me sad.

crodrigu73

You are not alone!

I am scared. I lost 50 pounds in the first 4 months, and I was closing in on my half way point of 55 pounds and everytime I get close--I blow it big time. I have been fighting the battle to get past this mark for 2 1/2 months now. It's like this mental block about having control over myself and my weight. I don't know I have been trying to figure it out. If it's so easy to lose weight then I have chosen and continue to choose to be this weight, to be this unhealthy, and to deny my children a healthy active mom. I don't know. I realize that there is some mental issue I have not dealt with and I truly have no idea what it is, but I need to move past this and start losing.

butterfliespink

Im both terrified and thrilled to lose weight. I don't want people making additional comments about me (Ihave a large booty) and I get stared at A LOT. I certainly don't look as large as the scale states I am. I don't want my sisters (who are both extremely heavy) to hate me for making myself look and feel bettery. I feel guilty as it is that I am the smallest in my family. I know that is a stupid reason to feel guilty, but I don't have near as many health problems as they do and I feel so bad for them. Our lives have never been easy as it is, our childhood was horrible, so I feel just awful for them. When I was growing up, we always had each other. I am afraid I will lose that....and it hurts.

moonspells

I agree...I want this but I am nervous about not having my weight to use as a "reason" for why I haven't been more successful; if I'm skinnier and I still don't get the things I want, it'll be all about me and not about other people's perception of me.
I'm going to work on how I will deal with success and failure better along the way. For now, I think just starting is a big enough deal!
Good luck to all! )

k8blujay2

I'm not afraid to lose weight... but I am impatient... I want to lose it NOW (in the voice of the original Veruca Salt)

And when I can't, that's when I get into trouble... I just have to learn to be patient with the process... this isn't like when I was 20 and taking two fitness classes a semester, walking to and from work/school and expending so much energy it didn't matter really what I ate because it would be burned in raquetball, weight training or aerobics...

LexieSweetheart

I can relate to so many of you guys in this thread. I know we will all push through the fear! and be the best versions of ourselves we can be

crochelle17

this a really good topic!! I would have to say yes, i am scared, i lost a lot of weight in HS and got a lot of attention that got me into trouble one night, and i still think back to that night when i start to see the scale move or if i start to get attention again, it is scary! but i have to realize that i am a stronger person now then i was in HS, its deff a very emotional topic and everyone has their own views

LisaD1025

I have known for a while that I'm scared to lose weight, even if it is only subconsciously. I "think" I want to lose weight, but then I act to the contrary and eat entire boxes of cereal -- I don't know why, but cereal is my weakness! I think that it’s because I’ve ALWAYS been overweight (from about 18 months old), and it’s old hat for me. I hide behind it with (extreme) sarcasm and it’s easier to keep people at arms’ length when there aren’t as many trying to get near you.

BUT...I had a wake-up call about 3 months ago, and decided to finally face my fear. I fell in love with someone a couple years ago, and got really, really, REALLY hurt, and was left extremely damaged when it ended. I went a little crazy, and hit what was the closest to rock-bottom that I ever want to get. When I “came to” after the trauma of it all, I realized that there were a LOT of unhealthy things in my life, and I was hiding behind many of them, my weight included.

So, I’ve made some changes over the last 3 months. I’ve pretty much stopped drinking alcohol entirely, and I quit smoking. I also decided that I need to get to a better place, physically, for ME. At first I wanted to do it to spite my ex, but then (and it didn’t take long), I realized that I want to do it FOR ME. I’m terrified, because like I said, it’s easier to protect yourself when you don’t have many people wanting to get close to you. But then I realized that I got hurt EVEN THOUGH I was overweight, but I was also loved EVEN THOUGH I was overweight. So good things and bad things are going to happen to me (and everyone else) no matter what I look like, so why wouldn’t I want to look and feel better and be healthier in between and throughout the ups and downs of life??

I still have days when I want to (and sometimes do) sabotage myself, but they’re easier to deal with and avoid because I know WHY I’m doing it. And I’m still scared; I’m scared that I’ll fail, I’m scared that even if I’m thinner I still won’t find someone to love and be loved by, I’m scared that I won’t be able to afford to buy new clothes (HAHA, that's just silly – there’s ALWAYS money for new clothes! . But I’m not as scared as I used to be, and I’m getting very close to being excited to see what I can do when I put my mind to it. I literally have NO IDEA what I will look like outside of the “obese” weight range because I've never been outside of it, but I can’t wait to find out. And after all, I’m an adrenaline junkie, so this scary challenge is right up my alley!

And I’m not going to lie…..I really, REALLY hope I run into my ex the day that I hit my goal weight.

serendipity22

I'm a very shy person. I'm a little afraid that I will attract a lot of attention when I lose weight. It is easy to fade in the background when you are big.

Not that this will stop me from losing weight. I will just have to deal with when it happens.