Is anyone scared to lose weight?

chrissismone

I can relate to too many post here. I have always been big. I was always the fly big girl. I was always told your great just the way I am. But deep inside I noticed those that were pretty and slim got the man,got pampered,got the attention and praise, and got whatever they needed from people because everyone likes to help the pretty girl. Pretty for me means skinny simple as that. I have always had a mean attitude because I'm fat and I know that I didn't need some person to try and get close to me and tell me that. I have allowed my weight and past issues interfere in my progress in life. At times I'm hestitant in applying for certain jobs,really going out and trying new things because I'm ashamed of what I see in the mirror. I can make it look nice but I always feel so insecure and feel I have to go over and beyond to have people at least deal with me. This right now makes me want to cry a bit. I'm in my journey and I'm more than lost 44 lbs since I wouldn't look at the scale when I started. I get scared am I going to fail ? I know people say oh failure isn't a option. What the **** ever. It happens. I don't like starting new things unless I feel I can be successful. I think to a degree for me alot of attention would be horrid because then people would be able to see this raw me the one who grew up in the hood and didn't have and doesn't have certain things isn't farther along as she should be. Yea losing weight scares me.

pdworkman

A friend of mine who has lost a lot of weight posted on her blog the other day that the fat "protected" her emotionally, and that walking around without it now feels like walking around naked. I know others who have been sexually abused who got fat as a defence; if they weren't attractive, they wouldn't be attacked. It makes me sad.

crodrigu73

You are not alone!

I am scared. I lost 50 pounds in the first 4 months, and I was closing in on my half way point of 55 pounds and everytime I get close--I blow it big time. I have been fighting the battle to get past this mark for 2 1/2 months now. It's like this mental block about having control over myself and my weight. I don't know I have been trying to figure it out. If it's so easy to lose weight then I have chosen and continue to choose to be this weight, to be this unhealthy, and to deny my children a healthy active mom. I don't know. I realize that there is some mental issue I have not dealt with and I truly have no idea what it is, but I need to move past this and start losing.

butterfliespink

Im both terrified and thrilled to lose weight. I don't want people making additional comments about me (Ihave a large booty) and I get stared at A LOT. I certainly don't look as large as the scale states I am. I don't want my sisters (who are both extremely heavy) to hate me for making myself look and feel bettery. I feel guilty as it is that I am the smallest in my family. I know that is a stupid reason to feel guilty, but I don't have near as many health problems as they do and I feel so bad for them. Our lives have never been easy as it is, our childhood was horrible, so I feel just awful for them. When I was growing up, we always had each other. I am afraid I will lose that....and it hurts.

moonspells

I agree...I want this but I am nervous about not having my weight to use as a "reason" for why I haven't been more successful; if I'm skinnier and I still don't get the things I want, it'll be all about me and not about other people's perception of me.
I'm going to work on how I will deal with success and failure better along the way. For now, I think just starting is a big enough deal!
Good luck to all! )

k8blujay2

I'm not afraid to lose weight... but I am impatient... I want to lose it NOW (in the voice of the original Veruca Salt)

And when I can't, that's when I get into trouble... I just have to learn to be patient with the process... this isn't like when I was 20 and taking two fitness classes a semester, walking to and from work/school and expending so much energy it didn't matter really what I ate because it would be burned in raquetball, weight training or aerobics...

LexieSweetheart

I can relate to so many of you guys in this thread. I know we will all push through the fear! and be the best versions of ourselves we can be

crochelle17

this a really good topic!! I would have to say yes, i am scared, i lost a lot of weight in HS and got a lot of attention that got me into trouble one night, and i still think back to that night when i start to see the scale move or if i start to get attention again, it is scary! but i have to realize that i am a stronger person now then i was in HS, its deff a very emotional topic and everyone has their own views

LisaD1025

I have known for a while that I'm scared to lose weight, even if it is only subconsciously. I "think" I want to lose weight, but then I act to the contrary and eat entire boxes of cereal -- I don't know why, but cereal is my weakness! I think that it’s because I’ve ALWAYS been overweight (from about 18 months old), and it’s old hat for me. I hide behind it with (extreme) sarcasm and it’s easier to keep people at arms’ length when there aren’t as many trying to get near you.

BUT...I had a wake-up call about 3 months ago, and decided to finally face my fear. I fell in love with someone a couple years ago, and got really, really, REALLY hurt, and was left extremely damaged when it ended. I went a little crazy, and hit what was the closest to rock-bottom that I ever want to get. When I “came to” after the trauma of it all, I realized that there were a LOT of unhealthy things in my life, and I was hiding behind many of them, my weight included.

So, I’ve made some changes over the last 3 months. I’ve pretty much stopped drinking alcohol entirely, and I quit smoking. I also decided that I need to get to a better place, physically, for ME. At first I wanted to do it to spite my ex, but then (and it didn’t take long), I realized that I want to do it FOR ME. I’m terrified, because like I said, it’s easier to protect yourself when you don’t have many people wanting to get close to you. But then I realized that I got hurt EVEN THOUGH I was overweight, but I was also loved EVEN THOUGH I was overweight. So good things and bad things are going to happen to me (and everyone else) no matter what I look like, so why wouldn’t I want to look and feel better and be healthier in between and throughout the ups and downs of life??

I still have days when I want to (and sometimes do) sabotage myself, but they’re easier to deal with and avoid because I know WHY I’m doing it. And I’m still scared; I’m scared that I’ll fail, I’m scared that even if I’m thinner I still won’t find someone to love and be loved by, I’m scared that I won’t be able to afford to buy new clothes (HAHA, that's just silly – there’s ALWAYS money for new clothes! . But I’m not as scared as I used to be, and I’m getting very close to being excited to see what I can do when I put my mind to it. I literally have NO IDEA what I will look like outside of the “obese” weight range because I've never been outside of it, but I can’t wait to find out. And after all, I’m an adrenaline junkie, so this scary challenge is right up my alley!

And I’m not going to lie…..I really, REALLY hope I run into my ex the day that I hit my goal weight.

serendipity22

I'm a very shy person. I'm a little afraid that I will attract a lot of attention when I lose weight. It is easy to fade in the background when you are big.

Not that this will stop me from losing weight. I will just have to deal with when it happens.

WhitneyT586

I think it's a very important question, and one I Identify strongly with. The majority of people don't put on large amounts of weight for no reason. Sometimes it's medical, sometimes (I'd guess very frequently)it's emotional. For me, fear of success and the self-doubt that goes along with that has two facets - one personal, one professional. As a lifelong singleton, if I can blame that status on my weight, then I don't have to accept that the problem is my personality and who I am rather than my visual appearance. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, and mostly kept it off until I met a guy I really, REALLY liked, at which point I started eating everything in sight and eventually ballooned to my highest-ever adult weight... It's as if by staying fat, or at least bigger-than-average, I can ensure (in my own mind) that no-one will want me, so there's no fear of rejection of me, rather than of my body.

I don't know what the solution is, but I am trying really hard to stay on track this time. It's weird though to know that you realy want to meet a potential SO, and yet his appearance is likely to pose a risk to continued health!

Oh wow, this sounds familiar! I think I've always used my weight as a shield for my emotions. I've always had a hard time dealing with guys and flirting and teasing. I never knew how to take it. Always wondered if they were being flirty or malicious. That fear of rejection has kept me from doing so much. Problem is, the regret of not doing it hurts so much more!

Now that I've re-met this guy from high school, I'm learning how to handle the flirting. He's getting me out of my comfort zone in a way that is comfortable to me, He's part of the reason I joined this site. I've finally gotten my head on straight with wanting to lose weight and I can pinpoint the day that happened as the day he asked me out.

Now I can see that my weight was only a shield to me. It didn't hinder anyone else from enjoying my company or wanting to enjoy my company. It only held me back from enjoying other people and I'm not letting it do that any longer. This is my life and I have to live it for me. And the best way for me to live it to the fullest is to lose the weight and get healthy so I'll be around to enjoy it for a long time.

HopefulMyra

I am a little. I don't want saggy skin. Kwim? That's pretty much it though.

ashnm88

I was afraid at first about what I'd look like or what not, but now I'm happy because my health is better.

memcd911

I'm not scared to lose weight. But I'm scared for the men who cross my path once I do. [evil grin/maniacal laugh]

jennylsapia

YES!! my entire life I have been big! My entire sense of self revolves around being big so I am kinda scared that I won't know who I am without the weight. I also feel my weight keeps me invisible which keeps people from becoming close to me and getting hurt

WOW You sound just like me!!! I actually posted about this the other day in a group I am in......I am truely terrified of losing this weight because I do not want to lose my identity. I have always been the "big girl" with a huge personality!!! So glad I am not the only one!!

jenvens

I think to a certain degree after my divorce (it's been over 2.5 years) I was scared to date again and I was literally hiding behind my fat so that men wouldn't notice me and all of my broken-ness. So, deep down, we have our reasons, whether it be a food addiction, health problem, depression, that has kept us the way that we are for so long.

I now have learned to let that go and the pounds are coming off along with much of my other needed mental baggage.

Do it for you, and no one else - without being scared. Don't be scared to be happy and fulfilled - I know this is one of my fears as well. Good luck on your journey and feel free to add me as I am also a rockabilly/gothic fat-loss fearing chick!

NeuroticVirgo

bump...I'll come back to this later.

KSC811

i want so badly to be healthy and lean, but i am def afraid of having saggy skin

BalenciaLynn

I know i was scared at first because i knew after i lost the weight i wouldnt have anything to hide behind anymore.
I've been shy all my life and i know a big portion of that was because i was a "chubby" girl growing up.

MelissaE27

FOr me being heavy has made me feel *invisible* my fear is when I Lose not if.. will I be getting attention or be noticed? it scares me a lot....