Would You Be Offended If...

Novikay

Ok, So I just read a post about a woman asking what other people thought when they saw overweight people running. Just about all of the comments were really positive and encouraging and I was really happy to read them, so kudos to everyone that commented!!

One of the comments did get me thinking though - she said something along the lines of that when she sees an overweight person running, she wants to say a word of encouragement to them or let them know she was once there and knows how hard it is and to keep going, but doesn't want to because they would probably think it was weird coming from a stranger.

I've thought the same thing! I've lost a lot of weight, and I started my weightloss by running a lot, so I can totally relate to overweight people running. I always want to give a word of encouragement, but I wouldn't want to make anyone feel weird or offended or embarrassed, even though that's far from my intention.

So what does anyone else think? Would you feel weird if a random person came up and said something to you while running?

Novikay

*or after running...that might be better lol

Jeff92se

My friend is what you'd think is overweight. But he can run circles around me. I think a simple thumbs up is fine. Because that person might be a better runner than you think.

Danny_Boy13

Personally no and I think the majority of people would feel the same way. It is always a good feeling to get a compliment or kind words from a strangler IMO.

Novikay

My friend is what you'd think is overweight. But he can run circles around me. I think a simple thumbs up is fine. Because that person might be a better runner than you think.

That's really true.

littlebuddy84

Id be delighted :-)

MrsLVF

I guess it depends on what you said.

If a random thin stranger said "Keep it up, I lost 40 lbs running." I'd probably reply, "Did you just call me fat?"

But if they said " It's a nice day for a run, I've been running this path for 2 years, and lost 40 lbs, I'm still running to maintain my weight loss."
I would be motivated, and not offended.

mrshayes1584

I think maybe shouting a quick "Keep up the good work" or "Way to go" would suffice and be much better than walking up to them and basically starting a conversation that will lead to their weight while distracting them from the hard work they're doing.

Loseweight1980

Personally, and obviously, this is quite a personality flaw, I HATE positive encouragement... I'd rather have someone yell, "that's all you got?" Then tell me to keep up the good work... but I do know most people are NOT like that :-)

Lift_hard_eat_big

I love positive encouragement, and I also get motivated by negative encouragement to prove them wrong LOL.

peacek

I like people who keep their comments to themselves- especially if it's related to my workouts!

grinch031

I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

UsedToBeHusky

I generally just smile at them because I'm usually at the park walking or running myself. LOL! Seems to be enough.

brittyc1988

I would say unless they spark convo with you to leave it alone because some people would be embarrassed that you notice them working out! I just made a new friend in the gym recently and I always encourage her but I didnt start doing that until I saw that she was comfortable around me! The girl was literally locking our fitness room everytime she was in there because she didnt like working out in front of people but now we're work out buddies. I would for sure tread lightly

BigBoneSista

A nod and a thumbs up would be cool. The person on the opposite end could take it the way they want. When I first started running I was greeted by strangers in that manner and it was cool. I'm not really into having conversations during or directly after a work out.

jenbk2

I would love simple words of encouragement would be nice.

Novikay

I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.

s1lence

I guess it depends on what you said.

If a random thin stranger said "Keep it up, I lost 40 lbs running." I'd probably reply, "Did you just call me fat?"

But if they said " It's a nice day for a run, I've been running this path for 2 years, and lost 40 lbs, I'm still running to maintain my weight loss."
I would be motivated, and not offended.

This I agree with. If a random stranger just came up to me and said "good job running, I was once in your shoes and now I've lost ___ amount of weight" I would be a little offended but if it was more of a conversation and it had an underlying encouragement that would be great.

tabbydog

I almost made a comment to a woman that I saw running who was obviously recovering from a stroke or a head injury. I didn't because I thought it would seem condesending. I feel the same way about someone who is overweight. Maybe that overweight person can run circles around me. In fact they probably can. Maybe that handicapped woman used to be a marathoner. I usually keep my comments to something like "what a nice day for a run" and leave it at that.

MyFeistyEvolution

Hmm good question.

I recently have been pushing myself to run and I'd have mixed feelings about someone approaching me.. Part of me would be "aww awesome, someone who knows what *I* am going through, that's great. I can do this" and part of me would probably be "omg I am the fat girl running, how embarassing" or something self-deflating like that, because I'm embarassed of how I've let myself get.

Once I push through all that negative bs, I will remember that someone was nice enough to approach me and cheer me on and focus on that.

student94

The words they used wouldn't upset me, but I hate to be botheted while I'm working out.

sunkisses

My cousin always says "you go girl" to the bigger women she sees when we're walking (for exercise) together.

Buddhasmiracle

I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.

I think when a compliment/high five/nod comes from another runner -- acknowledgement that hey we're all sweatin' this together goes a long way. It helps a person feel a part of something regardless of their fitness level or weight.

rfarinha

So it wasn't during a run, but... I was recently in a Zumba class, and there was a girl who was dancing up a storm, and moved really well. After class I complimented her on how good she danced. She appeared to be tickled with the compliment. I didn't refer to weight, or weightloss.

grinch031

I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.

I wouldn't worry about them miscontruing your intentions, I would worry more about how your comment raises awareness that they are getting unwanted attention. If you notice them enough to want to comment, then they will feel others notice them as well. This will make them even more self-conscious. The best thing to do is treat them exactly how you treat any average joe skinny person who is running.

tabbydog

I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.

I think when a compliment/high five/nod comes from another runner -- acknowledgement that hey we're all sweatin' this together goes a long way. It helps a person feel a part of something regardless of their fitness level or weight.

^^This is what I was trying to say. I wouldn't say anything different to the overweight person than I would say to any other fellow runner, and it is usally just a nod or wave, and on a particularly nice day like today, a comment on the weather.

Qarol

Would you feel weird if a random person came up and said something to you while running?

Yes. But I'm just anti-social like that.

arkansascountrygirl

I would be glad to have a stranger encourage me as an overweight person running. it's the encouragement and support that keeps me going. for example Sunday when I decided I need to eat healthier and went out to eat but order a salad while a family member was barking at me for eating it the young man who brought it out encouraged me in my quest.

NotGoddess

Great question. I've gotten smiles, thumbs up and the "nod" from others when I'm out and it always makes my day.
I've got my own internal motivators but there is always that stupid voice of doubt talking as well. A little external validation helps me ignore that voice. I would love it if someone came up to me and said, "I just want you to know I've noticed how hard you're working. It shows, keep it up."

_SusieQ_

Yes, it would be weird to ME, but I have a huge chip on my shoulder most times. I don't mind if my instructor in a class says something, but a random person coming up to me would make me feel singled out BECAUSE I was fat.

maidentl

I wouldn't worry about them miscontruing your intentions, I would worry more about how your comment raises awareness that they are getting unwanted attention. If you notice them enough to want to comment, then they will feel others notice them as well. This will make them even more self-conscious. The best thing to do is treat them exactly how you treat any average joe skinny person who is running.

I was trying to figure out how to say this and you did it for me. I don't want any pats on the back for running because I am fat. If you approached only fat ol' me on my treadmill or the trail to say anything, I'd hear it as "Bless your fat little heart for trying to run like the skinny people!" But I am a pessimist like that.