Would You Be Offended If...

sunkisses

My cousin always says "you go girl" to the bigger women she sees when we're walking (for exercise) together.

Buddhasmiracle

I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.

I think when a compliment/high five/nod comes from another runner -- acknowledgement that hey we're all sweatin' this together goes a long way. It helps a person feel a part of something regardless of their fitness level or weight.

rfarinha

So it wasn't during a run, but... I was recently in a Zumba class, and there was a girl who was dancing up a storm, and moved really well. After class I complimented her on how good she danced. She appeared to be tickled with the compliment. I didn't refer to weight, or weightloss.

grinch031

I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.

I wouldn't worry about them miscontruing your intentions, I would worry more about how your comment raises awareness that they are getting unwanted attention. If you notice them enough to want to comment, then they will feel others notice them as well. This will make them even more self-conscious. The best thing to do is treat them exactly how you treat any average joe skinny person who is running.

tabbydog

I'm not overweight, but if I was I would be offended or maybe humiliated if someone made a comment about my running that was obviously due to me being overweight. I think its a terrible idea and it simply points out the fact that you notice them being a fat person who is running.

The only time I think a compliment is welcome is when the person is really good at something and its clear the compliment is regarding their high level of skill/athleticism, not simply because they are overweight.

Take my advice, don't make such comments to random people.

This is my fear - that my intentions would be completely misconstrued if I was to say something. My main reason in wanting to say something is because I can relate so much, and there were times when I wanted to give up, and encouragement would have been nice.

But I totally understand what you are saying, and I guess we should err on the side of caution with this topic. I'd hate to be the reason someone stopped working out in public.

I think when a compliment/high five/nod comes from another runner -- acknowledgement that hey we're all sweatin' this together goes a long way. It helps a person feel a part of something regardless of their fitness level or weight.

^^This is what I was trying to say. I wouldn't say anything different to the overweight person than I would say to any other fellow runner, and it is usally just a nod or wave, and on a particularly nice day like today, a comment on the weather.

Qarol

Would you feel weird if a random person came up and said something to you while running?

Yes. But I'm just anti-social like that.

arkansascountrygirl

I would be glad to have a stranger encourage me as an overweight person running. it's the encouragement and support that keeps me going. for example Sunday when I decided I need to eat healthier and went out to eat but order a salad while a family member was barking at me for eating it the young man who brought it out encouraged me in my quest.

NotGoddess

Great question. I've gotten smiles, thumbs up and the "nod" from others when I'm out and it always makes my day.
I've got my own internal motivators but there is always that stupid voice of doubt talking as well. A little external validation helps me ignore that voice. I would love it if someone came up to me and said, "I just want you to know I've noticed how hard you're working. It shows, keep it up."

_SusieQ_

Yes, it would be weird to ME, but I have a huge chip on my shoulder most times. I don't mind if my instructor in a class says something, but a random person coming up to me would make me feel singled out BECAUSE I was fat.

maidentl

I wouldn't worry about them miscontruing your intentions, I would worry more about how your comment raises awareness that they are getting unwanted attention. If you notice them enough to want to comment, then they will feel others notice them as well. This will make them even more self-conscious. The best thing to do is treat them exactly how you treat any average joe skinny person who is running.

I was trying to figure out how to say this and you did it for me. I don't want any pats on the back for running because I am fat. If you approached only fat ol' me on my treadmill or the trail to say anything, I'd hear it as "Bless your fat little heart for trying to run like the skinny people!" But I am a pessimist like that.

Krystal821

I guess it depends on what you said.

If a random thin stranger said "Keep it up, I lost 40 lbs running." I'd probably reply, "Did you just call me fat?"

But if they said " It's a nice day for a run, I've been running this path for 2 years, and lost 40 lbs, I'm still running to maintain my weight loss."
I would be motivated, and not offended.

I agree 100% with this. I already would know I am overweight and the fact that someone pretty much points it out wouldn't make me feel so good. I might get self concsious running in front of others and therefor stop running...

EmpressOfJudgment

I find, in general, runners are supportive of other runners, no matter what. However, you have to be careful when paying someone a compliment in this situation that you don't come off as condescending. If someone caught up to me and said, "You're doing great! Keep up the good work!" as they passed me I might feel as though I just stepped off the short bus and got a pat on the head from a grown-up.

asantaana

I would rather feel like everyone else jogging at the park or working out at the gym. I wouldn't like someone trying to encourage me out of the blue. It's uncomfortable enough to do something out of your comfort zone and then to have someone notice that you are trying to lose weight and trying to make a change in your life, I don't know...It might be just me, but I would feel uncomfortable, maybe a little embarrased.
Now maybe if someone came over while you were on the treadmill and said they have been noticing your dedication and asked you if you were running a race soon because they have been noticing the endurance that you've been building. Than I would be like, "I know right?". Then I would feel like not only am I trying to lose weight and make a difference in my body, but I'm pretty good at what I'm doing. It's just what I think.

_SusieQ_

I wouldn't worry about them miscontruing your intentions, I would worry more about how your comment raises awareness that they are getting unwanted attention. If you notice them enough to want to comment, then they will feel others notice them as well. This will make them even more self-conscious. The best thing to do is treat them exactly how you treat any average joe skinny person who is running.

I was trying to figure out how to say this and you did it for me. I don't want any pats on the back for running because I am fat. If you approached only fat ol' me on my treadmill or the trail to say anything, I'd hear it as "Bless your fat little heart for trying to run like the skinny people!" But I am a pessimist like that.

EXACTLY THIS.

EmpressOfJudgment

In other words, overweight people aren't little mentally challenged kids.

Novikay

In other words, overweight people aren't little mentally challenged kids.

Never said or implied that. If I did, I'd be calling myself a mentally challenged child, because I was overweight until about a year and a half ago.

Larimartda

I love positive encouragement, and I also get motivated by negative encouragement to prove them wrong LOL.

ShadowSylph

A simple smile is good enough - seriously. lol
When I'm working out, outside, I don't like people watching me, let alone trying to have a conversation about weight loss