Struggling with self image..

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  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
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    I'm less than 40 lbs to my goal now. I'm still feeling like that...

    I was pretty invisible at 245. I'm not invisible now, but I still feel fat, and I still feel like hiding. And I still cant fit into my clothes, but I'm on the too big side instead of the too little side.

    I'm also missing my clothes a lot. I'm not a shopper, I'm a saver. I really dislike shopping. My pants are 14's and they look terrible--time to go down a size but I can't get my mind around that either.

    I think it's about changing a lifestyle that included frumpy and isolated. Turning to a lifestyle with smiles, and comfortability in our own skin!

    Guess it's time for weight training!
  • FitinFiveMonths
    FitinFiveMonths Posts: 63
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    I struggled with that feeling too. About 5 years ago I dropped 60 pounds and still felt like the "fat ugly girl" even though I had lost so much weight. It is tough adjusting to your new body but all I can say is to focus on how good your new body feels and try to think positively. Try to remember how you felt when you were heavier and remind yourself how wonderful you look and feel now in comparison.

    I hope you find bodily peace.

    Oh thank you! My goal is to actually lose 60 pounds in all, so this is really relatable to me. And thank you, I also hope I do.
  • Caffeine_Addict
    Caffeine_Addict Posts: 178 Member
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    When I was at my lowest weight (75 lbs ago) I still felt really self conscious and fat. Now when I look back at those pics I wish I realized I looked sooooo much better. blah. I'd like to know how ppl make their brain catch up.
  • FitinFiveMonths
    FitinFiveMonths Posts: 63
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    I'm less than 40 lbs to my goal now. I'm still feeling like that...

    I was pretty invisible at 245. I'm not invisible now, but I still feel fat, and I still feel like hiding. And I still cant fit into my clothes, but I'm on the too big side instead of the too little side.

    I'm also missing my clothes a lot. I'm not a shopper, I'm a saver. I really dislike shopping. My pants are 14's and they look terrible--time to go down a size but I can't get my mind around that either.

    I think it's about changing a lifestyle that included frumpy and isolated. Turning to a lifestyle with smiles, and comfortability in our own skin!

    Guess it's time for weight training!

    I went from a 14 to a 12 and I was bouncing off the walls, I was so happy! But now the excitement of that has worn off and all I want to be is a size 10. And I was hoping weight training 3 to 4 times a week would help me tone up, but it's like I'm at a stand still. I just upped my weights and really challenged myself this week, so I'm hoping that I see some results sooner than later.
  • FitinFiveMonths
    FitinFiveMonths Posts: 63
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    In my opinion the best way to overcome this, is to look at yourself as a complete package from top to bottom. When you buy a car do you look just at the doors and boot? No, you look at the car from roof to wheels, bonnet to boot. People are the same, when they look at you they are not just looking at your thighs or whatever your problem area may be, they are looking at your from head to toe, smiling face to shoes.
    Once you learn to appreciate this I hope you can change the way you think. Remember to look how far you have come too and only compare yourself with yourself not with others.
    I hope this helps someone :)

    That helps a little. Next time I look in the mirror I'll look at everything not just the problem areas :)
  • blakejohn
    blakejohn Posts: 1,129 Member
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    It gets better 6 years ago I was 250 with high blood pressure, I didn't want to die before I turned 40 so I started working out know 6 years later and I'm totally a different guy I can hang with kids half my age and it didn't take 6 years at the end of the first year I felt better so by the second year my attitude began to change, now it's the opposite I border on cocky, hang in there kid where the body goes the mind will follow
  • Package02
    Package02 Posts: 97
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    I think sometimes it's harder to change the mental than the physical. Especially true if you've been seeing a certain image in the mirror for so many years. Pretty much just like with every thing else in life, time will make it better. Just keep concentrating on the progress that you've already made and realize how much closer you're getting to your goal. Try to stay focused on the positive and not so much on the negative :)
  • FitinFiveMonths
    FitinFiveMonths Posts: 63
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    It gets better 6 years ago I was 250 with high blood pressure, I didn't want to die before I turned 40 so I started working out know 6 years later and I'm totally a different guy I can hang with kids half my age and it didn't take 6 years at the end of the first year I felt better so by the second year my attitude began to change, now it's the opposite I border on cocky, hang in there kid where the body goes the mind will follow

    I'm hoping so! I'm just worried that I'll always be self conscious! I'm hoping that the compliments get through to me eventually :)
  • FitinFiveMonths
    FitinFiveMonths Posts: 63
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    I think sometimes it's harder to change the mental than the physical. Especially true if you've been seeing a certain image in the mirror for so many years. Pretty much just like with every thing else in life, time will make it better. Just keep concentrating on the progress that you've already made and realize how much closer you're getting to your goal. Try to stay focused on the positive and not so much on the negative :)

    Thanks, I'll try my hardest!
  • froeschli
    froeschli Posts: 1,292 Member
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    i had that with my skinny self, until i noticed i was up a few sizes and couldn't pretend anymore...

    half the reason is that you're there all along, and since the change is slow, you don't really notice it. people who have more distance, or don't see you as often, are wowed by the change they see.

    how to help that, i don't know.. it seems unrealistic to suggest not looking at yourself for two months :tongue:

    but you did well, and your brain will catch up at some point...
  • FitinFiveMonths
    FitinFiveMonths Posts: 63
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    i had that with my skinny self, until i noticed i was up a few sizes and couldn't pretend anymore...

    half the reason is that you're there all along, and since the change is slow, you don't really notice it. people who have more distance, or don't see you as often, are wowed by the change they see.

    how to help that, i don't know.. it seems unrealistic to suggest not looking at yourself for two months :tongue:

    but you did well, and your brain will catch up at some point...

    This is true, looking back at pictures I can see a huge difference, but I guess looking at myself every day in the mirror I don't see the changes other people do. Thanks!
  • Bermudabarbie
    Bermudabarbie Posts: 568 Member
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    This is one of the reasons that I have stayed on MFP for over a year since I've reached my "goal weight." I have gone from a size 22W to a Size 6 or 8. In the last 4 or 5 months, I have actually dropped to the bottom end of my "healthy range" - 133-137. Some days I still feel like the "fat girl."

    If anyone has the answer, I sure would love to hear it.

    Some factors that I feel have helped:
    posture. Yes, the way you hold yourself and the confidence that you exude are so important.

    Make Up and Hair: Try a new hairstyle. Try wearing more dramatic makeup. These things do seem to make a difference.

    Try different sizes in clothing. In the beginning, I was "replicating" my wardrobe in slightly smaller sizes. This was wrong. I invested a lot of money in size large tops, size medium skirts, etc. Actually, I should be wearing much smaller sizes, different styles, colors, etc.

    This all takes times.

    Wishing everyone the very best.
  • FitinFiveMonths
    FitinFiveMonths Posts: 63
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    This is one of the reasons that I have stayed on MFP for over a year since I've reached my "goal weight." I have gone from a size 22W to a Size 6 or 8. In the last 4 or 5 months, I have actually dropped to the bottom end of my "healthy range" - 133-137. Some days I still feel like the "fat girl."

    If anyone has the answer, I sure would love to hear it.

    Some factors that I feel have helped:
    posture. Yes, the way you hold yourself and the confidence that you exude are so important.

    Make Up and Hair: Try a new hairstyle. Try wearing more dramatic makeup. These things do seem to make a difference.

    Try different sizes in clothing. In the beginning, I was "replicating" my wardrobe in slightly smaller sizes. This was wrong. I invested a lot of money in size large tops, size medium skirts, etc. Actually, I should be wearing much smaller sizes, different styles, colors, etc.

    This all takes times.

    Wishing everyone the very best.

    I'm actually going to re-dye my hair blonde next week, so I'm hoping that gives me a boost! I'm also going to try and sit/stand up straighter!
  • fatgirlslimlady
    fatgirlslimlady Posts: 30 Member
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    I struggle with the same thing on a daily basis! I've lost 40 pounds and dropped from a 16 to a 10 and it's hard to see how my body has changed. So I make note of small things and focus on those. Like last week, I noticed that when I put my hands on my waist, I feel muscle first, not fat! And I wore my favorite cardigan for the first time in a month or so, and I'm absolutely swimming in it! So I might not see the change, but I have the evidence that it's definitely happened.

    Another suggestion is to take your measurements (waist, hips, thighs, etc--what you want) and track those. If we work out while losing weight, we might gain muscle while losing fat, so our weight might plateau but we're getting leaner (because muscle is denser than fat).

    I hope this helps! You're definitely not the only one with this problem. We're all in this together, right?

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