I got the 'are you pregnant' question

superstankazz

Oh no! I got aked if I was pregnant once too! The lady who asked me felt horrible after I told her I was just fat, not expecting. Embarrassing for both! I get stomach bloat too and I hold most of my weight in the front-abdominal area.

vickie28

A while back I ran into a long distant cousin at at funeral--- i ask-- so when is your baby due-- ( she was looking like she was ready any minute ) she replied he's 3 mos . old---- ouch !!! I have never assumed some one is pregnant since-- or asked

FollowThatUnicorn

I've been asked this before I have a huge tummy and it does look like I'm about 20 weeks pregnant. It hurts when I am asked that. And I'm childfree, so, nope, definately not.

treetop57

Yesterday I saw a young female colleague whom I hadn't seen in a year or so. She was so obviously with child that I asked when she was due . . . then thought, "Oh no. That's a question I'm never supposed to ask!" Luckily, she is indeed seven and a half months pregnant.

brk_1982

Maybe she asked you becasue she knew you were having tummy issues, as opposed to becasue of how you look?

Regardless, I would never ask! I once witnessed a waiter ask a customer (WTF?!) only to be told she had just miscarried. I also witnessed one co-worker ask another if she was expecting which resulted in a break down becasue she had just been told she would never concieve. To me, it is way too personal and has nothing to do with weight.

louisey112

OMGosh ... I was reading your post when -- and I am NOT joking - on the right there was an advertisement for maternity clothes! Talk about ironic But, that's just so rude - I would NEVER ask anyone that unless I knew for sure. Good luck with trying to figure out what the problem is.

love22step

My husband's advice is good: Never assume a woman is pregnant unless you see a baby emerging from the birth canal. These days, a lot of women look pregnant, and it's embarrassing for everyone if you say something and you're wrong.

ColCul

It is hurtful. I was asked when I was fat, I knew I was fat and didn't need to be reminded of it. You never know if someone is suffering medical issues, or fertiltiy issues.

kylesmommy89

Ugh I'm so sorry! People are so stupid sometimes! Let it motivate you!! Hearing the pregnant question 1 time too many was what kick-started my lifestyle change. I was in wal-mart and I got told OMG CONGRATULATIONS!!!! HOW FAR ALONG ARE YOU?!?! very loudly by someone I knew. I explained to her I wasn't while starting to cry like an idiot bc I had been asked so many times!! I started working out and changed my eating habits that day.

Akjenn89

it isn't all bad - maybe they thought you were looking very healthy and glowing

That is possible. I had someone tell me the other day, "Your skin is looking great and you're just glowing! You're not pregnant are you?"

But I agree, in general, not something I would ask or say. Haha. =]

DeeDel32

I had someone ask me that once.

I replied with "No, not pregnant, just fat" in a very matter of fact tone and then went silent waiting for them to reply.

They didn't reply. i'm pretty sure they won't be asking that question again lol

RAFValentina

It was a harmless mistake most probably.

However I know how horrible IBS and the way it can distend your abdomen, particularly lower abdomen. It causes water retention and bloating, excess gas and *tmi alert* poo problems. There are lots of things you can do to ease it. I find that a good 45mins to an hour running sorts it out, especially if it's relatively quick running (helps move things along mechanically whereas fibre can sometimes cause irritation and excess mucus in the intestine to be produced) Also, staying hydrated with lots of fresh water helps, avoiding things like leavened bread or any other yeast containing products help... this means that sometimes grapes, certain cheeses and marmite can set it off, not always with the same degree of severity. Making sure you have enough soluble and insoluble fibre is also important but careful not to do OVER do it on the insoluble cos that causes it's own problems too. Probiotics also help as well so make sure you get some of those in. I think some can be caused by stress too so regular exercise helps reduce stress levels as well as provide mechanical functional aid to your bowel and it's also worth having a sit down and figuring out why you are stressed (may be multiple factors and often is) and come up with an action plan to help deal with this. You could see a counsellor to help you who'll be able to guide you through the process methodically and help you out a bit. Overeating WILL aggravate it and sometimes eating large quantities of meat day after day will trigger it. It's hard work on your digestive system!


It's common in anxious, paranoid people and stressed people... I am highly strung and very self critical and quite anxious and in a high stress job (Air Traffic Controller) so that's why I have it, although I do have it well managed now.
Aside all this, you should really see a doctor to check it is this and not something worse, but IBS is mostly self managed.

mizjohnston

On another note what if somebody just had a miscarriage? You may still look pregnant or what if somebody was recovering from or have an eating disorder. They may not be able to handle hearing that. It can hurt no matter what the case may be. Everyone is different on how they may take it. Majority would be offended. I work with somebody who went through that and she was in tears because she was not pregnant just carries all her weight up front. It was sad to see.

love22step

If it makes you feel better, I got called "shameful, at her age" by some woman in the gym changing rooms for looking pregnant - I have Crohn's Disease and was having a flare-up. Some people should really keep their mouths shut - would someone pregnant REALLY be going for a run?

Surprisingly, there are pregnant women who keep running--some on purpose and some by accident. An old boss of mine was changing in the gym when someone asked when her baby was due. She angrily replied that she wasn't pregnant, but found out soon after that she was indeed over 5 months along.

Still, I've learned it's better to keep my mouth shut and not make assumptions.

NoAdditives

Ugh. Never mind.

Basically, I wouldn't be offended, but I generally don't get offended by much.

PughTooFew

It's so humiliating for both you and the person asking - I had that at the hairdressers, poor girl was only trying to make conversation but unfortunately for her my son was already 4 months old when she asked the dreaded question!! We both tried to laugh it off but it still stung. I also had to accompany a family member in labour to the ward this christmas and I swear the midwives moved towards me before she cried out in pain - now, I may be fat but I really dont like the thought that Im bigger than someone at full term!!

StefanieC99

Don't feel too bad - if possible. I was once asked if I was pregnant when I was 23 years old and really THIN! I just had a waistless baggy dress on (the bohemian type that was in style 10 years ago or so). The guy felt so bad but I knew it was just the dress. Anyone can get that question - as rude as it really is - but you just have to fume for a bit and move on.

saragato

I've been getting that question since I was 12. But to be fair the one asking was 4 years old at the time. My best friend's little sister, from the time she was 4 until about the time she turned 10 was convinced I was pregnant and continuously asked me. After she hit junior high and matured a bit she finally realized I was just overweight and had a large stomach. I think when kids ask it's less offensive because they don't really know better.

Far as I recall I've never had an adult ask, though last December when I had to have surgery on my left thumb and the nurse needed urine (which I couldn't supply due to the fasting) to test for the possibility of me being pregnant she would not leave me alone. And I realize it's policy, but I had no urine in me and even if I did I have anxiety issues and had not taken the meds for said issues that morning so either way she wasn't getting any. But she didn't treat it as "you know this is policy, it has to be done" she just kept telling me they had to make sure I wasn't pregnant.

I finally told the lady, "look, the last time I got laid was in February. If I was pregnant, I would've had the little b*stard by now." She ended up tearing up my right arm trying to get an IV in for a fluid drip and it took longer for those bruises to go away than it did for my thumb to heal. Funnily enough I think because of my weight, even despite the fact I'm on birth control (medical reasons) it's rare I'm ever asked if there's even a possibility I'm pregnant. S'like they assumed because I'm fat I don't have sex. I find it funny but then again I've learned to take jabs.

The only time I ask someone about being pregnant is if they've confirmed it verbally beforehand. Though my mom likes asking everyone anyway even though my mom's overweight too. If I don't know someone or don't interact with them on a fairly good basis I'm not bothering to get in someone's business.

mebuthalf

2x last week alone. After losing 30 lbs its discouraging, but I know I look it. Hope your tummy feels better soon :-)

Happinessgrl

This happened to me one time. I was in the mall and looked in this store that had awesome looking plus size clothes in the window. So, I walked in and got all excited at this sun dress that caught my eye displayed in the window. Then the sales woman walked up and took one look at me and said "when are you due". I was so taken back that I just turned around and walked out of the store. I couldn't believe that she would have the nerve to say that to me. Once I got out of the store, I turned back to give her the evil eye and then I read the name of the store... "Mommy & Me". ROFL

mallory3411

For the original poster, probiotics work wonders for most people! Give them a try! You should be able to get them in any dept store or drug store.

iamfranniefierce

I've gotten it before...only time it comes in handy is on a crowded train during rush hour, LOL! Gotta take the good with the bad ; )

2Bgoddess

after i had lost 35 pounds, a woman i barely knew, poked me in the stomach and said "you havin' a baby?". the very same week, someone asked "is the red-head (my sister in law) your daughter? ffs, she's only 2 years younger than me. even if she looked 25, which she doesn't, it would make me a minimum of 50! grrr. (i am 40)

confuzzledwife

UGH! I'm so sorry ... I had a coworker ask me that too! It's sooooo embarrassing!

HauteP1nk

I completely agree...I never ask either. I think it is so rude. Just as rude as some people who think they can just come up and rub the belly. Like - would you rub my belly if there wasn't a baby in there?? Are you trying to rub it for some god luck or something? haha



On the other hand, my sister always scares the heck out of people when they ask her how far along she is (she is actually due any day now). She'll say she isn't pregnant and then give them a few minutes to try to stumble out an apology...lol So mean, but so funny....

zambodiare

A good friend of mine asked me the same question via text message on New Year's Eve. I was mortified! I understand where you're coming from. *kitten*....think twice, damn it!

Lotstoluv263

I get that alot, not only am I heavy but I have a purtuding hernia, that I had repaired last year and totally went wrong. So I have learned to rub my belly and when they ask how far along I am i state"8 years ago" (the age of my youngest) and walk away!! Makes em feel stupid. A pharmasist asked me not to long ago (couldnt walk away, I was at the counter), after I made my comment he said, ohh I am sorry, u just have that "glow" Yea right idiot, stop looking at my belly!!! Ughhh I hate that question!!!

TeenaMarina

Someone congratulated me for being pregnant AGAIN (!), nine months after I'd had my daughter. I was out and about with her in a stroller, wearing a new dress that I felt kinda confident in, after finally starting to drop a little of the baby weight. This was after nine months of still wearing my damn maternity clothes. I was crushed. It only has to happen to you once - whether you're on the recieving end or the giving end of it - and you learn to NEVER ask that of anyone! If you shut up for a few minutes you'll generally learn if someone is indeed pregnant or not.

toomanycurves

UGH. I have a protruding tummy and I am asked whether I am pregnant by strangers or kindly offered seats on the subway by gracious young men (I always decline!), several times each week. I know that no harm is intended by people who ask me or treat me as though I might be pregnant. Still, it inevitably puts a dent in my day when it happens. To make matters worse, while I am 60-years-old, I look at least a decade younger. When I mention the pregnancy questions to people who know my age they often say "well, aren't you lucky that someone would think that you were pregnant." Lucky, NOT!

Soozie1978

I'm having alot of stomach issues lately, think I have mild IBS and I've been under alot of stress lately and this is resulting in bowel issues. Hence my tummy is sore/crampy/bloated alot of the time. been going on for about 4 weeks now. I've booked in for acupuncture to see if this can help it.

I'm so sorry a out your coworker's insensitivity. Some people are so clueless.

I'm not a doctor and have not had it definitively diagnosed, but when I began having issues similar to yours about 3 years ago, I looked to what I was eating as I know that food sensitivities run in my family. I already knew that fresh milk upset my stomach (gas, bloat, cramping) so I avoid milk and ice cream or use lactaid if I do eat them. So I decided to leave off wheat and other gluten products. After starting to feel better, I added bread back into my diet, and sure enough, the problems started back up. Over the last 3 years, I have been almost entirely gluten free and have very few problems with my digestion now. If I do choose to or accidentally eat something with hidden wheat in it, I get the cramping, bloating, gas, and alternate between constipation and diarrhea for about 3-5 days.

It's just something you might want to try. Gluten is found in wheat, rye, spelt, barley, and some other grains, so anything made with these products should be avoided during a trial period. If this doesn't help, or even if it does, you probably should see a doctor about the problems to rule out something serious. Good luck, and hope you feel better.