I got the 'are you pregnant' question

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  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
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    You know when you are actually pregnant, its like the bEST question anyone can ask you, you are so excited and happy to share! she probably was being very well meaning and even excited for you!
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
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    It's just a question. Why freak out?

    Because it's rude and a question that basically says "you're fat" without actually saying it. I'd be offended too.
    But if you're fat you're fat. Why waste your energy getting all offended when people notice it and ask a question? Or do you think nobody can see you?

    Eh I'm not fat at all thank you very much!!! I'm 5ft 8 and quite slim really. I just have a bloated belly for the past few weeks due to bowel/stomach issues. Jeez.......

    It's rude to ask a woman if she is pg or not, it implies she has a belly one way or another an believe me, you don't want to point out to a woman she may have a belly going on. It's just plain rude IMO. Even if you are pg up to about 20 weeks, you don't have a bump, well not generally on your first. You are just going thru the 'fat' phase of your pg.

    Look, I'm not great with words...it's just rude to say it to a woman, ok?

    I think the problem I have with the question is who asks it. A close friend would have been told, a non friend wouldn't ask. A busy body would be prepared to spread the news.. and maybe I'm not ready to share it. Being asked if you are pregnant is as bad as someone saying during your 6th month of pregnancy.. "oh any day now eh!" .. To which my reply was "Suck it!! I have 3 months to go" She was almost 9 lbs!!!!
  • DarrenSeeley
    DarrenSeeley Posts: 41 Member
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    In my opinion if you feel like asking " are you pregnant" to a stranger, and a list of reasons why you perhaps should not ask don't immediately come into your head then this is ignorance. I wouldn't think someone is mean for doing it, but this lack of empathy can be offensive.

    We are all here to help one another. Some of us can take a little more hard truth than others, but it's all about supporting the changes we want to make in our lives.

    A certain poster here feels that people shouldn't get so easily offended, but we all do, whether we admit it or not, and there will be things that the certain poster has insecurities about too: which is why I believe they have taken such a mean spirited attitude to the OP.

    Just sayin'

    Best wishes
  • Siannah
    Siannah Posts: 456 Member
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    Oh no, I can imagine you were upset by that question.

    I go through phases of IBS as well, what helps me a lot, is taking peppermint capsules twice a day. You can get them in any healthstore. Really settles my tummy and reduces the bloat.
  • huntingforhipbones
    huntingforhipbones Posts: 67
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    If it makes you feel better, I got called "shameful, at her age" by some woman in the gym changing rooms for looking pregnant - I have Crohn's Disease and was having a flare-up. Some people should really keep their mouths shut - would someone pregnant REALLY be going for a run?
  • huntingforhipbones
    huntingforhipbones Posts: 67
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    Oh no, I can imagine you were upset by that question.

    I go through phases of IBS as well, what helps me a lot, is taking peppermint capsules twice a day. You can get them in any healthstore. Really settles my tummy and reduces the bloat.

    Seconding this! Or peppermint TEA! So yummy :3
  • lsirelan
    lsirelan Posts: 44 Member
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    I totally feel your pain. I was asked if I was pregnant 2 times in a week and that's what motivated me to start MFP and a diet. Hurt then, but it was definitely the wake up call I needed.
  • Colbyandsage
    Colbyandsage Posts: 751 Member
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    My rule... Never ask Someone if she is preggo unless she just said, my water broke! LOL
  • SuffolkSally
    SuffolkSally Posts: 964 Member
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    It's happened to me too. Once at an airport - so I just agreed, as it involved a upgrade.... And the most recent time, I was amazed that anyone would think me young enough to be capable of conception. So I do know what you mean, but it isn't all bad - maybe they thought you were looking very healthy and glowing
  • duetwithjosh
    duetwithjosh Posts: 121
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    Try encapsulated ginger for your IBS. Two capsules, twice daily or with meals. Really helped me with bloating and gassiness. (Plus ginger has a myriad of other health benefits :) )
  • superstankazz
    superstankazz Posts: 193
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    Oh no! I got aked if I was pregnant once too! The lady who asked me felt horrible after I told her I was just fat, not expecting. Embarrassing for both! I get stomach bloat too and I hold most of my weight in the front-abdominal area.
  • vickie28
    vickie28 Posts: 68 Member
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    A while back I ran into a long distant cousin at at funeral--- i ask-- so when is your baby due-- ( she was looking like she was ready any minute ) she replied he's 3 mos . old---- ouch !!! I have never assumed some one is pregnant since-- :) or asked :)
  • FollowThatUnicorn
    FollowThatUnicorn Posts: 200 Member
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    I've been asked this before :( I have a huge tummy and it does look like I'm about 20 weeks pregnant. It hurts when I am asked that. And I'm childfree, so, nope, definately not.
  • treetop57
    treetop57 Posts: 1,578 Member
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    Yesterday I saw a young female colleague whom I hadn't seen in a year or so. She was so obviously with child that I asked when she was due . . . then thought, "Oh no. That's a question I'm never supposed to ask!" Luckily, she is indeed seven and a half months pregnant.
  • brk_1982
    brk_1982 Posts: 125 Member
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    Maybe she asked you becasue she knew you were having tummy issues, as opposed to becasue of how you look?

    Regardless, I would never ask! I once witnessed a waiter ask a customer (WTF?!) only to be told she had just miscarried. I also witnessed one co-worker ask another if she was expecting which resulted in a break down becasue she had just been told she would never concieve. To me, it is way too personal and has nothing to do with weight.
  • louisey112
    louisey112 Posts: 576 Member
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    OMGosh ... I was reading your post when -- and I am NOT joking - on the right there was an advertisement for maternity clothes! Talk about ironic :) But, that's just so rude - I would NEVER ask anyone that unless I knew for sure. Good luck with trying to figure out what the problem is.
  • love22step
    love22step Posts: 1,103 Member
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    My husband's advice is good: Never assume a woman is pregnant unless you see a baby emerging from the birth canal. These days, a lot of women look pregnant, and it's embarrassing for everyone if you say something and you're wrong.
  • ColCul
    ColCul Posts: 53
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    It is hurtful. I was asked when I was fat, I knew I was fat and didn't need to be reminded of it. You never know if someone is suffering medical issues, or fertiltiy issues.
  • kylesmommy89
    kylesmommy89 Posts: 356 Member
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    Ugh I'm so sorry! People are so stupid sometimes! Let it motivate you!! Hearing the pregnant question 1 time too many was what kick-started my lifestyle change. I was in wal-mart and I got told OMG CONGRATULATIONS!!!! HOW FAR ALONG ARE YOU?!?! very loudly by someone I knew. I explained to her I wasn't while starting to cry like an idiot bc I had been asked so many times!! I started working out and changed my eating habits that day.
  • Akjenn89
    Akjenn89 Posts: 265 Member
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    it isn't all bad - maybe they thought you were looking very healthy and glowing

    That is possible. I had someone tell me the other day, "Your skin is looking great and you're just glowing! You're not pregnant are you?"

    But I agree, in general, not something I would ask or say. Haha. =]

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