I got the 'are you pregnant' question

cmeade20

This happened to me once when I was a teenager. I worked at a store in the mall. I was under 120 pounds pretty slim. I had just choked down my dinner on my ridiculously short break and my stomach was sticking out a bit. Some customer had the nerve to come up to me, put her hand on my stomach and ask "awww are we having a little baby?" She's so lucky I was on the clock if I were just browsing I'd probably have punched her. It's so rude.

Lee510

A woman in the checkout line in front of us at a mall store asked my wife when she was due. We stood there looking at her like a couple of morons. I'm thinking "Not due, just chubby. A lttle belly. That's all." The lady wished us good luck and walked away. Once we were on our way out of the store, I pushed on my wife's belly and told her it was firm. Not soft like you'd expect. A home pregnancy test revealed we were pregnant. This was in mid-June 2001. We found an OB that could see us immediately not knowing how far along we were. Cycles were never regular. 3-4 months in between, at least. The doctor confirmed that there was a "big baby in there". She estimated 33 weeks. Turned out we were at 36 and Jason was born a month later.

We weren't really offended that the woman asked if we were pregnant, but it was a good thing she did. The doctor asked about the baby moving and what my wife thought it was. "I thought it was gas." Which isn't a stretch, if you knew her!:laugh:

RoboLikes

Not to toot my own horn, but I am may have the best 'are you pregnant?' story.

I was commuting home on my 90 minute train ride in the summer and the AC was busted. The train was over crowded and a bunch of people including me were forced to stand in the aisle between the two rows of seats. I was wearing a baby doll dress that puffed out right under the bra part and the guy standing in front of my turns around and starts yelling - and I mean YELLING - how all the men on the train should feel less of themselves because they didn't offer the young pregnant girl their seat. The young pregnant girl being ME.

Worst part of the story was I didn't correct him and took a seat when one of the guys offered it to me...I mentioned the AC was broken on the train right?

lmelangley

I was once asked while standing in line at a store and holding my young daughter. I replied, "no, I'm just fat". You wouldn't believe how fast the woman's head whipped back around. Hopefully, she never did that again.

rcc1988

I don't understand why people ask women if they're pregnant. If a woman IS, then if she wants you to know she will TELL YOU. And if she's NOT, then you wont have made yourself look like an a-hole for asking!

I just don't get why people think it's their business. If a lady wants you to know, she'll let you know!

Snapplejac

aww that's awful - once a month my old IBS issues flare up and my belly looks majorly round and swollen. It's so uncomfortable! I am sure I look about 6months gone. I think I would struggle if someone asked me thou.

Must say that recently I was staying at my sisters house and my niece who's 3years old wandered into the bathroom when I was getting changed - she pointed at my belly and said "is that because you ate too much" I thought it was brilliant - what could I say except "yep!! I certainly did" !! (Although I felt better to hear she asked her daddy if he had a baby in his tummy - presumably mine isn't as big as his )

MamaSonyaP

I was asked twice in one day...the next day I started MFP. I'm sorry that you had that experience, it's not nice. Some people are just really DUMB, and sometimes they are the ones who are super embarrassed. Sometimes.

SabrinaG1986

A few weeks after I had a miscarriage I went to join a Curves gym, assuming some weight loss would help with future pregnancies and that Working out might help with the depression I was feeling. When I was asking the lady questions she said to me "Well you won't be working out for quite a while" and pointed to my stomach. I asked her to clarify and she said "well you're pregnant" I politely informed her that my baby had died and that she was a *kitten*.

You never know. You don't ask. You definitely shouldn't assume.

It's something that sticks with me to this day and I feel heartbroken every time I think about it. I also hate Curves for some reason even though I know it has nothing to do with their company lol.

DataBased

It's just a question. Why freak out?

Because it's rude and a question that basically says "you're fat" without actually saying it. I'd be offended too.

But if you're fat you're fat. Why waste your energy getting all offended when people notice it and ask a question? Or do you think nobody can see you?

Being fat doesn't automatically give someone the right to comment on your body. It's rude. Most overweight people are well aware of that fact, they don't need someone else to point it out.

It's considered acceptable to comment when people are "too thin", as it should be when the are too fat. I believe we as a society have a moral obligation to do so.

God - save us from those who are "morally obligated" to help me because they think they know what's wrong with me.

What if the person you're "helping" is under a dr.'s care for thyroid or pituitary problems and it isn't a matter of being fat. What if a person has wanted children all their lives and they're experiencing a false pregnancy that is causing them emotional turmoil? What if telling them, in your moral certitude, that you feel obligated tot comment on their condition, which you really have no clue about, exacerbates their emotional pain and makes things much worse?

Morally obligated, indeed You can't really be serious? Be responsible for your own life, and for your family. Let others be responsible for themselves.

DivaDiane

I would probably look the person directly in the eye with an expression on my face that screamed "YOU ARE A MORON" and say, "Why do you ask?" If they had the audacity to actually respond, I might reply, "Well, I am losing weight, but you will always be ugly."

Sometimes I enjoy being a real beyotch.

laughingnome

A *****y neighbor of mine yelled in a shopping center....Lesly you gained so much weight you look pregnant...haha I was *****

Il_DaniD_lI

Rude and tasteless. Women code - never ask unless you know for sure.

Lusadi

I think Emily Post explained it well when she said something along the lines of the essence of good manners is being sensitive to the feelings of others. Another guiding point I at least try to use before saying something is to determine if what I am saying is necessary, kind, and/or instructive (this one mostly for the kiddo's). If it doesn't meet the first or second criteria, it probably doesn't need to be said.

WhiteCoc0

I was asked once by a foreign tourist.....she couldnt figure out the word for pregnant and said "are you with someone?" I said yes, and I pointed at my man. She started to demonstrate what she meant, using her hands and doing a curve over her stomach. I must have turned all shades of red, and squeeked "Nope I am not pregnant, just fat" and walked away. For about a week, I couldnt get it out of my head of how embarassed I was.

Lusadi

Not to toot my own horn, but I am may have the best 'are you pregnant?' story.

I was commuting home on my 90 minute train ride in the summer and the AC was busted. The train was over crowded and a bunch of people including me were forced to stand in the aisle between the two rows of seats. I was wearing a baby doll dress that puffed out right under the bra part and the guy standing in front of my turns around and starts yelling - and I mean YELLING - how all the men on the train should feel less of themselves because they didn't offer the young pregnant girl their seat. The young pregnant girl being ME.

Worst part of the story was I didn't correct him and took a seat when one of the guys offered it to me...I mentioned the AC was broken on the train right?

LOLOL...I had the opposite issue when 8 months pregnant on a NYC subway. A seat cleared and the man standing right next to me asked his 14 yo kid if he wanted to sit down. HELLO!!!!! My butt hit that seat so fast....

monicalynne68

I'm a nurse and granted, scrubs are not the most flattering outfits in the world but I was asked twice in one night when my baby is due. The next day I joined the gym and started working out. lol

Panaru

The only times I ever had it happen was after giving birth.... Talk about depressing!

VanillaBeanSeed

Got it this morning from a kinda work colleague. Head wrecking.

I'm having alot of stomach issues lately, think I have mild IBS and I've been under alot of stress lately and this is resulting in bowel issues. Hence my tummy is sore/crampy/bloated alot of the time. been going on for about 4 weeks now. I've booked in for acupuncture to see if this can help it.

So someone asked me this morning am I pg again?!!!!!!!! Eh no PFO. I explained as calmly as I could what the issue was.

My god, you don't ask a woman is she pg unless you know for a fact that she is. Hello???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ive been asked "when are you due". ..... I broke down and cried as soon as the situation was over. Felt horrible. :[ I hope you find what works for you to get rid of the bloating! Then ppl will just ask "How did you get that flat tummy girl?" :]

Usbornegal

I have gotten that question several times over the years (mind you I am a 55 yo grandma). But I work in a state psych hospital and those asking were really ill patients.

But it still stings.

mfp_1

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8730106.stm
Is that woman pregnant or fat?

Some commuters don't give up their seats for pregnant women because they fear offending someone who is just overweight, it has emerged. Here, expectant mothers give tips on how to tell the difference.

[...more...]
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vanishingirl77

On another note what if somebody just had a miscarriage? You may still look pregnant or what if somebody was recovering from or have an eating disorder. They may not be able to handle hearing that. It can hurt no matter what the case may be. Everyone is different on how they may take it. Majority would be offended. I work with somebody who went through that and she was in tears because she was not pregnant just carries all her weight up front. It was sad to see.

This happened to me after I had my first miscarriage at 12 weeks. This lady that I saw a few times a week at my internship told me congratulations because the shirt I was wearing made me look more pregnant instead of just fat...and I couldn 't stop crying after telling her I'd just lost my baby a week earlier. She was the nicest lady, but things were always awkward after that. I wasn't mad at her, and it wasn't even at being embarrassed at my fat...it was just so incredibly painful.

Rachiewoowoo

If you're slim and just bloated around the tummy area, then I can understand why that person would be more inclined to pop the touchy question. I say spin that around, and take it as a compliment! You're slim enough that people would dare to walk past that "are you pregnant line" vs. staying behind it when the rest of the woman is a bit pudgy.