Help!!! Diet vs Social life????

wurgin

This is what I do. Track it honestly as possible, and excersize and be extra mindful for the follwoing days to compensate. Pounds are added or lost as a gradual process... you have time to burn the cals off.

I also do not snack prior to going out for dinner to give myself the max wiggle room.

It is possible. Going over can slow things down but will not stop your porcess unless you let it.

jaks97

This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. A shame you can't make healthy choices, and so what if you drink one or 2 glasses of wine, move on to the next day. No reason to deprive yourself of life and regret the chance to be with friends and family. Life is Short make the best of it. IMHO

Athijade

I go out all the time and I always manage to fit it into my calories. I don't understand why you can't? Have a light breakfast and lunch and then eat half of a regular entree - which is usually plenty.

I eat out 1-2 times a week and do just fine. I have lost 17 lbs so far (and many inches) and am losing just about 1lb a week.

To me, this is not a diet. This is a lifestyle... and that lifestyle is going to including eating out, enjoying myself, and splurging every so often. This change has to fit IN my lifestyle or it will not work. Period. Usually my splurge comes on a Saturday because I am often out and about and get lunch with someone.

So my suggestion is this... go out and have fun. Take a few hours and don't worry about a glass of wine or a dessert. Relax and enjoy your time out. No single day is going to make you gain weight or destroy all your work.

pinkminy

a bit of planning and a bit of will power and discipline .
enjoy yourself ,a couple of drinks and a bit of nice food whithout going overboard
choose low cal / small servings.and diet drinks
if you do go a bit over then you just need to have a couple of really low cal days to follow up.so your weekly average works out good
Enjoy the people and the event that's why your socialising its about the people not the food / drinks,
you don't need tons of booze to have a gr8 time, ....and no hangovers the next day;

RachelsReboot

It is hard but you just have to be prepared. When I know I am going out and going to be eating I pack a bag. Usually it's like this

Mio-for water
Small container of salad dressing(this is what usually kills me)
Josephs low carb pita in a ziplock bag.
If I am going to a bbq place I take my own sauce
Protein bar
Bag of peanuts
Beef jerky

Please believe I am not above pulling any of these things out in a restaurant or at a party. My friends think I am a little eccentric but who cares. This is my body and my job to take care of it. I don't tell them what to eat or what to do and they can't tell me. I have only once had someone say anything to me at a restaurant and I just politely informed them that while I loved their establishment, I don't feel as if they have adequate healthy food choices but I was making it work just fine so that I could enjoy a meal with my friends. He seemed a little shocked that I wasn't ashamed or didn't move to put my pita away and he went about his business.

shellyt1

You can do both and just plan for the occasions. Plan on goal weight to let yourself enjoy a treat. I'm doing that with pizza and if this week goes the way I want next Sat. I will be enjoying! You can do both just stay strong!

Jazziemay

I find I have this problem too. I try really hard to eat low carb, and stay under my carbs for the day. But lately, I have been eating all the wrong things. because it's easier. on weekends, friends are having a few beer. So I drink one or two, but I do go for the Micolob ultra, or skinny girl margarita whick are both low carb, but the food is what always gets me. I do real good all week long then on weekend I think I gain two pounds. I guess we just have to continue to eat healthy, but salad to me gets boring after a while, I try to spice it up with ham, cheese, and cucumbers, but I so want more. But I think we can stick to our goals we just have to set our mind frame to it.

Lift_This_

I wouldn't give up having fun. Yes we are all here to lose weight and get healthy, but we can't be a stick in the mud all the time. You are allowed to have days when you go over calories or eat "unhealthy."- if we didn't we would be boring and hermits. If get invited out and know so in advance I try to get a quick workout in that day or I say screw it, have fun and go right back to healthy eating the next day.

missigus

Like everyone said, it's balance and lifestyle change. If you go out a lot, Exercise more on the days your going out. If I know i am going out that night, I skip breakfast (which I do a lot- not hungry anyway) eat a small salad and piece of tilapia or some turkey slices for lunch, and then when out, order my glass of wine, more fish or chicken type dish with steamed veggies for dinner and then eat half that, take the rest home for lunch the next day. Adjust for the situations, plan ahead. If you only go out once a week or less, then I'd just enjoy it and get back on track the next day and add in a longer workout.

Also, I don't hesitate to tell people that I'd love to have some of the appetizer, bread whatever...but that i am trying to knock off a few pounds- so i gotta be good. Most people get it and don't pressure. If some one puts something on my plate dispite it, or refills my glass it sits there. I don't feel bad about it, I don't feel boring, It is just me empowering myself to say no.

It boils down to how bad you want it. The weight loss, the health. We all love going out having fun, but i try to look at it as a social experience, not so much a food and drink experience.

EmmieSu

Restricting myself to the I-can't-have-that-it's-not-on-my-diet, NEVER works! A change in lifestyle is what works for me. So, saying that...have your social life and know that you have to make up the difference else where. Plan your meal ahead of time, so your prepared, Know the menu to make the best choices, and allow yourself to enjoy what want but know your limits. Eating a banana, apple, salad or a 16 oz glass of water can also fill you up before hand, and if you listen to your body, you won't over indulge.

anasf139

Keeping up a social life and a diet/lifestyle change is hard! I have that battle pretty mcuh on a daily basis! I have found the best way to deal with it, is to factor your wine/treat into your daily cals...so maybe only drink half the glass someone pours you...and make sure you eat fewer cals during the day. Its not IDEAL but cals wise your still on target. I have just told everyone that I have given alcohol up until July, so have removed that as a risk for me...but I still go out and drink water!

Don't sacrifice who you are BUT at the same time dont sacrifice your hardwork!

Good luck!

chachita7

Research and Plan!!!

You don't have to sacrifice your life to have a life (makes no sense does it) - part of healthy living is enjoying yourself by doing things you like, spending time with those you enjoy spending time with.

Kissybiz

We all have to live our lives, we are social, and these things will happen. Life is to be enjoyed... but it requires planning if you're trying to lose weight and keep it off.

I allow myself one cheat day (or meal) a week.. sometimes I use it.. sometimes I don't.. but I plan for it. I work out extra hard, if not that day, then the day before AND after. I eat light all day before going out that night. I stay away from sugary drinks, like margaritas (used to be my favorite), and limit my drinking. Sometimes I go overboard, but I just get on track the next day, and move forward with my life.

It's all about balance. Finding a balance is essential to making a lifestyle change. You cannot be "good" 100% of the time, but if you're on track 80% of the time, you're still WINNING!

iminlalaland4ever

It many seem rude or weird to decline an offer of food or drinks, but overall, you need to think about your health first. Try suggesting places you know serves healthier foods and would enjoy being there.
Let your friends know about your weight loss goal so they don't pressure you to eat anything that you'll eventually feel guilty about.
My friends used to take me out to icecream shops and Sonic when I actually decided to have a vegan diet. So I had to eventually tell them so that I didn't seem rude, but am still keeping my diet in check.
And it isn't bad to treat yourself once in a while. As long as you don't over-do it, you can enjoy foods that you don't eat anymore. The point of eating is to ENJOY what you're eating!

funkycamper

Some great advice here! Back when I used to feel like socializing meant eating "bad" food and that it was "ruining my diet", I was never successful for the long-term. But now that I've simply made a lifestyle change instead of being on a diet, it has become quite easy. Some tips:

* Do not think of it as a failure or as a cheat. Words have meaning and those terms make us feel like we have failed. It is a splurge or a treat, simple as that. Thin and fit people splurge all the time. Why shouldn't we? One of my always-been-slender friends who even lost her pregnancy weights fairly quickly, and who I have been jealous of for years, always eats light before she does a planned splurge or, if unplanned, just eats lighter for a day or two after. I'm come to realize that this is what thin people naturally tend to do. It makes sense. Enjoy and just make those adjustments around it.

* I zig-zag my calories through the week with a weekly goal instead of a daily goal. As I have days where I eat under my target due to various reasons like eating healthy enough choices that the calorie count wasn't enough or just having a day where my hunger was limited, or because I had a huge calorie burn that I didn't eat back all of my exercise calories, etc., this means I can "bank" those calories to "spend" later in the week at a social event or just because I want to. I had a wonderful Italian dinner out on Thursday with salad, garlic bread, seafood risotto and wine and I'm still under my calories enough for the week that I'm really going to have to pig out a bit today and tomorrow to meet my weekly target. I'm kinda excited about it. :drinker:

* If you really feel like you've blown it or just plain feel bloated from your splurge, a bit of extra exercise can do wonders. Even if it's just a short walk. But if you have time for longer or more intense exercise, just do it. In fact, I've even just done this when out with friends and if it fits with the surroundings, time of day, weather, whatever. Example: awhile back I had lunch with some friends at a restaurant at a marina and it was a nice day so, after splurging on my lunch, I suggested that we walk around for a while and look at the boats. We did, it added enjoyment to the outing, and it helped burn off a tad bit of the excess calories in the process. If you're doing dinner and a movie, if the movie is at a mall, you could suggest a bit of a walk around the mall before the movie to stretch your legs, for example. There are a lot of options that your friends might enjoy as well without making a big deal of it.

* If you splurge enough that you eat into your deficit for the week and can't offset it by lower calorie days or more exercise, no big deal. Let's say your deficit is to lose 1# a week (3500 calorie weekly deficit) and you eat into it and only end up with a 2500 calorie deficit for the week. So this week you're on target to lose 2/3# instead of 1#. Let's say you even do this every week for three months. That means you will have lost 8# instead of 12#. Since this is a lifestyle change and not a race, does this really matter in the long run? As long as you're moving toward your goal, having fun while doing it, and not feeling deprived in the process, it's not a big deal.

* Don't forget that portion control is your friend. If people are sharing a big platter of nachos. Have some, enjoy it, just have a smaller portion and savor each bite.

* Enjoy splurges but don't waste your splurges on things you don't really enjoy. The other day a friend and I went to check out a new restaurant that also has a bakery in it. I LOVE good pastry. We each had a cup of soup and then ordered three pastries to share. Well, they turned out to not be very good, imho. I ate a couple small bites of each, realized that they weren't worth wasting any more calories on, and let my friend eat my portions because she seemed to enjoy them. I just sipped my coffee and enjoyed the conversation.

* It sounds odd to me that some of you have friends that appear to be forcing food or drink on you. Really? Does anybody even notice what someone else is eating or drinking? I sure don't. If they are doing this, is it because you are making a big deal out of not eating or drinking as much as they are? Are you acting like "poor, poor, pitiful me" and drawing attention to yourself and your diet? When I've been out with friends and am not eating/drinking as much because I either don't have the calorie allowance to do so or I'm not in the mood or I'm saving my calories for a better splurge or I don't think the food is good enough to be worth splurging on, I've rarely had anybody notice or comment. When they have, like maybe just saying something like "you didn't take much, would you like more?", I just simply say "no, thank, but I've had enough" and people just go on with the conversation and fun and forget about it. If you a really honest with yourself, you might be drawing attention to your situation and causing people pestering you to eat/drink more. If you really don't believe that is the case, maybe you, unfortunately, have some friends that are diet saboteurs who really don't want to see you succeed. If that's the case, you may want to limit time spent with people who are positive energy-drainers. I tend to think of these type of people as vampires and find that I'm more successful and happier in all areas of my life if I limit my exposure to them.

Hope some of this helps!

raevynn

Go get yourself the book "French women don't get fat".... it has wonderful tips for how sophisticated women socialize without letting on that they are moderating their intake.

Lot of other great tips, too.

elfo

Please forgive how evil I am going to sound, I can assure you it is not meant to sound that way....however...girl you need to make a choice...period. Choose to lose weight or be social (eating)...I am not fully comprehending why you can't be social and make good choices. Why look at the salad as boring? (note many salads in restaurants have a higher calorie content than other foods). Why is it bad to have a glass of wine and please forgive me, but no one MAKES you have a second glass, this is of your choosing which is fine, there is no problem in that, but own it. It is ok to go over calories once in a while, but log it and own it. This is a lifestyle truly; we know diets don't work long-term, it is best not to think of it as a diet. Who knows by you making good choices while out with your coworkers and being happy about it, you may inspire others to lead a healthy lifestyle. If they are not supportive, don't complain about it, this is YOUR life not theirs, only YOU can make the right choices for you. But a little piece of advice..don't complain about it, yes it is hard but it is your state of mind that will make you succeed long term not your "diet". It is not a burden, embrace your good choices and honestly does the thought of all your other coworkers getting heart disease or becoming more obese while eating things laden in too many bad fats or cholesterol really that appealing...just a thought…only you can choose good things for yourself…would you want your mother/sister/daughter/friend/loved one to choose healthy, if you answer yes, why not treat yourself as good as you would treat them.

So I should start by saying that I have already lost 24 lbs in less than 2 months- so I think I have been pretty disciplined with my diet. I should also mention that I just started this new job THIS week- so it IS important to get off on the right foot and not start declining invites. As for the salad- they chose an Italian restaurant that was CARB central and my salad was basically lettuce- tomatoes and a few tiny pieces of grilled chicken and cost more than the entrees- also I NEVER have dressing with salads. So, I think I can honestly say that while I appreciate the "comments" I think you have a pre-conceived notion of where I'm coming from. My calories have been under goal for the 60 days I have been on MFP. As I mentioned I try to always go with the healthiest of the options-- but what I'm saying is sometimes the healthiest option- isn't even healthy at all. I don't think it's realistic to say- just don't socialize. I think a lot of people here have made some really great suggestions. I don't mean to sound defensive-- but I think it's important not to "preach" when people ask for help and more important to understand WHY it is they are asking. Thanks

elfo

Just want to say thank you to everyone for their comments. There have been a lot of great suggestions and a lot of great support!!!

This is just an example of the issues - it's from an old blogpost of mine...
http://me-on-dukan.blogspot.com/2012/01/happy-hour-at-cheesecake-factory.html

dlyeates

I think the first thing you need to do is separate the two things.......having a social life and having a healthy lifestyle are two different things that surprisingly can co-exist peacefully.

Having a social like should be more about hanging out with friends, getting to know/meet people and doing fun activities.

Having a healthy lifestyle means making more positive choices about food and exercise and (sometimes) watching our calories to help us get our bodies healthier because of years of poor choices and unhealthy habits.

Sometimes that means we have to focus more on the social aspect and less on the food/drink aspect of hanging out with our friends. Sometimes that means being more responsible with our alcohol consumption because we don't want to "waste" the calories on drinking. Sometimes that means we will know what we are doing and where we are going on a certain night, will pre-log our food and will then go and get an awesome workout in to offset the calories we know we will be eating. And maybe, once a month (I don't do it more than once a month) we might say screw the calories and have a true spike meal (not a whole day but not count the calories for that one meal).

AuditMe

Oh gosh I really struggle with this one. Often I find myself staying in (here I am replying on Saturday night) to avoid either extra cals from food/alcohol or people being annoying asking why I am not drinking or eating their drunken McDonald's