Has anyone had a hard time emotionally accepting themselves

saragato

As someone else pointed out, the dislike or even hatred for your transitioning body could be you being overly critical since you're already scrutinizing your food, why not your body? Another reason could be a sort of emotional distancing, as in you define "you" as the person you've seen in the mirror for years and now that the mirror shows changes, you don't quite recognize yourself and it can lead to hatred for whatever reason. When people are emotionally fragile in even small degrees, change can really set them for a loop, whether for good or for bad. And sometimes, unfortunately, our brains can work against us as far as thought processes and emotions.

If your therapist hasn't already recommended it, I would try to look up some Cognitive Thinking exercises. They're designed to help you feel better about yourself, others, and just generally give you a more positive perspective. When I used to attend group therapy it was something the therapist liked to teach and work on with us and many people who had self esteem problems or negative thoughts found them helpful. It takes time and a lot of effort to change your thoughts around, but you're already making the effort to be healthier physically, why not make the same to be healthier emotionally and mentally?

MercenaryNoetic26

I had a complex as a kid in school and highschool. My confidence emerged when I met my man and he showed me how to lift/push weights penitentiary style. LOL In other words, when I got my body the way I wanted it, and realized I was in control of how I looked, it's been peachy ever since. I can get fat and lose it pretty easily with the knowledge I've gained. I know, why get fat at all? Because life is too short without enjoying food every now and then. I have phases of indulgence followed by phases of hardcore discipline. It's a cycle, but I'm happy!

Bpothik13

If it werent for the feel of my clothes I dont know that I would even know for sure that I was losing weight. I know that when I was a teen, I was overweight and then became active (turning 16 and getting off my *kitten* and getting a job sure helped!) and lost weight dramatically. The sad part about it is that I was an unhealthy thin person and coudnt even recognize it (both the unhealthy and the thin parts).

Fast forward 20 years and I am almost 43 years old and making better choices for myself and making life changes based on a great deal of work-related stress: if work is out of my control, then what CAN I control? A lot of things...including what I am eating. I am happy with the 15lbs. I have dropped, but am worried about my expectations for when I reach my goal weight: I have been single for about 5 years now and my belief that I will find the man of my dreams when I am thinner is what rests in the back of my mind (personal appearances are put up pretty high in the gay community and being thinner will supposedly make me more desirable). I guess my whole point is that we are loveable no matter how much we weigh and we/I should enjoy the journey to being fit and healthy and not delude myself/ourselves or have unreasonable expectations.

Not sure if anyone really read that, but it felt good to get it out there! So, I have to say thank you for the topic and the opportunity to get real with myself (and anyone else who might find inspiration in something I said!)

XXXMinnieXXX

This is totally normal, and happens to me also everytime I start really wanting to loose weight, feeling determined and bam it hits me really bad, this self loathing. Its awful. I think its just your more self aware, but also because you really want to do something, and you want it done quickly its frustrating. It does pass. One thing I did which actually helped is keep a diary and at the end of each day I wrote atleast 1 thing I was proud of myself for that day, it helped getting emotions out and to see myself in a more positive weight. My motto now is that every day I will do something to make myself proud. It can be something small or something big. X

rjsbdsjas

I also struggle with emotional eating. In fact, joining MFP has made me realize more and more that if I didn't eat to calm stress, soothe sadness and curb anger I wouldn't have a weight problem at all! If the day is going well and eat my planned meals, including "treats" from time to time - basically eating whatever I like to eat - I easily keep to a low calorie level that would MAINTAIN my GOAL weight (and I have over 80 lbs to lose!) IF (big if!) I didn't use food as a crutch.

When starting a diet or making any change that positively effects my physical body I often will also find that I hate my body more than usual. I think it is because I am focusing on it and every imperfection is magnified.

I'm reading a great book on the subject of emotional eating right now - "Life is Hard - Food is Easy: The 5-Step Plan to Overcome Emotional Eating and Lose Weight on Any Diet" by Linda Spangle, RN, MA. It contains a lot of "you are not the only one doing this" information as well as many practical solutions. I highly recommend it!