How has your weight journey effected your relationship?

_AshLynn

Anyone see a change in their relationship from diet and exercise? Some times my calorie counting gets in the way of having and enjoying meals out with my husband...does anyone else have a similar situation?

Nikkei24

Anyone see a change in their relationship from diet and exercise? Some times my calorie counting gets in the way of having and enjoying meals out with my husband...does anyone else have a similar situation?

I have found that as far as the calorie counting and making better choices it has been rubbing off. I even got my Fiance to join myfitnesspal so that part has been good. I also find he has been slightly insecure. I notice it in certain things he says or asks. Nothing major hopefully it'll pass as he begins his weight loss journey.

ladyamandajane

My Fiance can eat anything and struggles to put weight on, but he is being so support with me to be honest, he told me at the weekend he felt so proud of me that I was loosing weight and doing a great job at it. Really helps and makes it worth while when you have great support at home.
:happy:

amuhlou

My hubs is in this with me, so it has only made our relationship better because we can support & motivate each other. I am very lucky to have him!

I'd definitely be stressed out if he didn't want to change his eating habits.

squirrrell

Hi

I am separated from my husband he left me a couple years back but when I was with him it was a nightmare he always sabotaged my dieting. We had far too many take aways, eating rubbish most weekends we would go into town I would want to either go before lunch or after but we went during lunch and ended up eating out! Did my diet no good and i piled the weight on. When I went to the gym he would complain when I got home that dinner wasn't ready - wasn't sure why he couldn't use his hands and head to cook but hey ho! He also hated vegetables so they were a rare thing on a daily basis.

Now I am happy and single it has been a lot easier for me to diet I can eat what I want and when I want and exercise whenever I feel like it!

I think you need to get your husband on board you haven't got a great deal to lose so should be a temporary thing and when you go out try and stick to the healthier options. When you have reached your goal you can just maintain and that should be a lot simplier! Talk to him about it tell him how important it is to you and that you aren't objecting to going out just maybe not as much. The other thing you can do is plan around your meals out so you eat less calories during the day or save some up over the week.

Also you are human so splashing out on the calories once in a while isn't going affect the overall picture! Remember life is too short to count calories everyday and that you are having a lifestyle change not a sprint!

Good luck xx

secretlobster

We've been together seven years. When I was 40lbs heavier, he told me I was beautiful just as often as he does today. He doesn't get into specifics and I don't ask him to be a cheerleader for me, but I'm incredibly lucky that I have someone who loves me regardless of my weight.

mrshoneybear1014

My husband is overweight but not by much (I say not much but its like 60lbs) and he is muscular. Food is something we both love. We also love going on walks together. We enjoy having "date nights" and going out. He is learning how to be more supportive for me, but he usually lets me pick the restaurant so that I can enjoy something that is waist friendly. I also LOVE going on walks with him - we talk about future vacations, future kids, and it makes the time and distance fly by! Try adding something like that into the relationship - it works wonders.

And today is the 4 year anniversary of our 1st date

But as a side note - he needs to change his eating and exercise habits because I want him to be healthy. He doesn't like fruit, rarely has vegetables, and loves meat and fast food. I got him to give up fast food for lent at least. He needs to start taking vitamins and watching his food. At least he has an active physical job which helps but this makes him think that he can eat anything without worrying about it. He is very stubborn and it's hard!

minimetobe10

My husband and I are doing this together. It is great! However, it also makes it easy to give in to temptation when the other wants to give in.

buttercup922

I had the best experience the other day. As a family we were talking and my husband said, in front of our 4 kids up to age 14, that I was his idol. I didn't know he felt THAT proud of me for getting up at 4:30am, 5xs a week since January. I know I"m proud of myself, but that just made my jaw drop. He's slowly getting motivated to loose his extra weight and I just think he's the best for giving me props in front of our kids.
AND, I feel like a million bucks in so many ways from changing my lifestyle to put myself on the top of my To-Do List every day, which in turn has made me a better person/spouse/mom.
Working Out is my Therapy.

meglynne1987

I have noticed my husbands choices and portion sizes have gotten smaller since my choices have.

cjaharmon

I would say I have noticed a difference he's trying to be a little more healthy. He will eat my salads with me and making a bigger effort to eat the veggies I cook.

But I don't let my calorie counting affect my date or dinner time with him. If I go over by a little it is better to be over and have enjoyed my company then to have an unhappy date with my man.

mslack01

My hubby gets aggravated with me because when I started this I said I would relax on the weekends, but I am finding that I want to watch what I eat all the time. He really likes to eat a lot of fast food and I am always saying "No". But I am hoping that the more I do it, the more I will sway him to the "Light side".

SilentRenegade

Ironically it has made it better, but there's a reason for that. Before I took gluten out of my diet, I was having horrible mood swings, bouts of severe depression, and anxiety attacks, along with always have sore muscles, pounding aspirin as soon as I woke up in the morning and drinking... well more coffee and caffeine that I'd like to admit. ^.^

However, since I've taken the gluten out, the only thing I have to watch out for when we eat out is what restaurant we are going to and what I can have there, but that's all. He's so impressed with my change in attitude and the amount of energy I have that he now wants to try it as well, but not to the point where he's not eating it at all.

It definitely helps if they want to jump on board with what you're doing, because then you don't have to worry about staring at the prepackaged cakes in the kitchen that just call out your name.

However, I also know that many people have issues in their relationships due to jealousy or the other person getting annoyed with the "obsession" over calorie counting. I think I had to show him first how much it has helped me and now he is fully on board with everything.

dragonsheart84

My husband is 300 lbs. He is trying to control his eating but he emotionally eats and there is nothing I can do to change his ways. sometimes there is nothing that i can do to stop him from eating something bad. He will do it when he is not around me. I do not know how many times he has gone next to his work and gotten chinese without telling me. I don't know what to do most days. Like today, I sent him two sandwiches, a snack bag of chips and yogurt to work with him. He called me and said he was still hungry. What am I supposed to say to him? He knows I am disappointed but doesn't care enough to change it.

lrdavenport23

At first, my husband felt that he didn't have to cut back because he works a strenuous job that involved alot of moving and exercising. It was also a little hard trying to prepare different meals for him and a healthy meal for me and my daughter. But now that I have lost 11 lbs in a little over a month, he knows how serious I am on this weight loss journey. He is now on my team towards being healthier and fit. It actually makes our relationship alot of fun because we have a nightly routine now of doing 125 crunches per night before bed on Sunday - Thursday. .

Mandana18

My husband can't stand a lot of the foods that I am cooking like turkey burger and he gets mad at me when I buy it because he knows that he is not going to want to eat it, but I buy it anyway because he and I both need to loose some weight.

squishycow7

my boyfriend loves to cook... so sometimes I feel as if I can't find a balance between enjoying his food and keepingmy calories under control. I try not to offend him, but I think he got used to me enjoying THE WHOLE PLATE which I cannot always do now

drinking is also something we don't see eye to eye on anymore. not that we were getting drunk every night, but we were definietly getting silly off wine a lot more before I started this... just enjoy a bottle and a movie... etc...!! but now I think too much about the calories so I'll have ONE glass, and he ends up drinking a LOT. then I'm sober and annoyed that he's drunk... downward spiral.

but on the positive side, I think I've got him to make some healthier choices of his own

hippychickuk

I have noticed my husbands choices and portion sizes have gotten smaller since my choices have.

Ha ha! My husband has definitely gained weight since I started dieting because he still cooks just as much. Just now I get 1/3 instead of 1/2 -- he gets 2/3! It's not good really, but so hard to get him to change his eating habits!

ElizabethRoad

I don't think it's had any effect. I can go to any restaurant and make healthy choices and eat a reasonable amount, so it really hasn't gotten in the way of anything...

mes1119

At first things were really stressful with my and my boyfriend because I was obsessing over the number on the scale, what I can or can't eat, not being able to go out for drinks etc. But since I've lost about half the weight I initially intended to. I'm learning to love myself and my body more. I'm actually considering going into maintenance mode and being happy with my body.

The exercise has helped my mood and confidence and my boyfriend loves the change He thinks I don't need to lose anymore weight and to be honest, I think it has done wonders for our relationship. When I was overweight, we went through a phase where we weren't sure if we would stay together because I was so unhappy with myself. Now that I'm confident and happy and allow myself little treats sometimes, we can't imagine being apart and talk about being together for the long term.

I've even gotten my boyfriend to use MFP, but he is using it for an opposite purpose: make sure he is eating ENOUGH so that he can gain muscle hahaha

lynheff

DH is thrilled with my weight loss but he does comment from time to time on what I eat. He is one of those lucky people who has never had to diet in his entire 67 years so doesn't understand that I can't just eat anything I want now that I have lost the excess weight. He has expressed feeling sorry for me that I can't eat the "good stuff" I cook for him. I say, Don't be. You should have felt sorry for me when I was 150 pounds overweight and in a wheelchair! There is no food on earth worth going back to that. If I have to live on cottage cheese forever, so be it. I don't know if he understands but he does accept my choices.

wiltka

I have been in previous relationship where my dieting or calorie counting was an annoyance- and typically it was due to a problem from my boyfriend at the time. All the sudden my attention had shifted from them, to counting food, working out. I would have an honest conversation with your husband, and see how he feels that the changes you are making to your life, are affecting your life together. Be honest about the support you need, and how nice it would e to make some of these choices together, or in the least, be able to be honest and not feel as if your better choices are harming your relationship.

Weighinginwithmy02

he's really proud of my efforts and tells me regularly. He knows I've struggled with being overweight since I was a teen and he wants me to be happy and healthy. My choice to eat something or not eat something wouldn't stiffle our relationship in any way because he understands that it's a choice I need to make for our entire family. I'm so, so lucky!

MinnieInMaine

The green monster (jealousy) has shown his ugly head a bit more than it used to and there have been some grumbles about lower fat/cal substitues at dinner but that's been minor. 99.9% of the time, he is super supportive of me. Everytime someone comes over that we haven't seen for a while, he fishes for compliments for me and is always bragging about me.

As far as dining out goes, we don't do that very often (3 or 4 times per year) so I usually splurge a bit anyway and don't fuss too much over the calories. I'll try to make the best choice I can but if I go over, I go over. No biggee. We do get take-out at least once a week but I try to plan for it so I've got plenty of calories or at least come as close to goal as I can.

ETA: just remember - his only REAL complaint is about the loss of "the twins". LOL!

Itsmytime79

My boyfriend is supportive and has dropped two pants sizes just from the diet changes we have made. He tells me how good I look and lets me pick my favorite restaurants. He also keeps an eye on my son so I can go to the gym. He is super supportive and I couldnt be this successful without him! In return I support his endeavors also.

tripitena

We have a good thing already but we have grown even closer. Working out together makes every calorie burned that much bigger cuz we did it together. Not to mention there is something sexy about sweatin' together & then hittin' the shower together. We enjoy meal planning, grocery shopping, even weighing in. This is something we are doing just for ourselves and each other.

20lbsorless

i sometimes feel moody as i'm in my first week and it does make eating together difficult but now hes come on board to lose some weight and i have to deal with his moods. i hope once we get use to the diet change things will get better.

cyclerjenn

I think it has made us stronger. My boyfrined loves to ride bikes with me and hike. As far as the eating goes, we build the weekly meal plan together as a family so we all have food through out the week that we enjoy eating and then go out to eat on Friday which is my cheat day.

The only issue I do have is the snacking that my kids and boyfriend do. They are always eating my favorite foods so they try to do their snacking while I'm at work or at the gym so I don't see it and hide it in the back of the frige.

ampa916

Honestly our relationship has been better since I started this. I don't really "force" him to eat healthy but I cook so he has to deal with healthier choices, he just eats more than me. But on the weekends we go for a walk with our son and really get into some conversations that I don't know we would have otherwise

Daydreams406

hmmm....no change at all. It is the same as it ever was.
We have been together for 16 years. We are as tight as tight can be.
I cook all of our families meals, so I don't really make them eat stuff I wouldn't. I just use portion control and keep and eye on my calories.
My guy needs to lower his cholesterol so I did make him stop buying cookies and potato chips. Neither of which I particularly cared for anyway. But he is cool with it. Plus the kids didn't need that stuff.
My downfall was soda and chocolate.
But, anyway. No, I would have to say that my journeys have not affected our relationship in any way.
Maybe when I get thinner, he will be mauling me more? I don't know lol.

ngmh96

My husband and I both recently started this weight loss journey. And he supports my weight loss & going to the gym. But not the calorie counting as with my myfitnesspal diary. WHAT?

He thinks I concentrate to much on counting every little thing. And, maybe I am a little obsessive. But, if I don't know exactly what I am putting in my mouth, how am I going to change? And, I am changing! I had a piece of birthday cake that I logged. It was my 5yr old's birthday. And I almost freaked! I couldn't believe that I was eating the many calories in a small piece of cake!

Long story, short. I am hopeful that things with get better with the journey. As we both continue to lose weight on the same journey. I won't obsess, if he won't be so critical.