Kids say the funniest things!

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Replies

  • jdevrich
    jdevrich Posts: 25
    Asked my DS (4 yrs old next Monday) to take something upstairs for me the other week. His response, "I think I can arrange that!"
  • 2Grtkids
    2Grtkids Posts: 93
    My son when he was 8 (he's 23 now): Mom, I don't know why you worry about your weight. You can always just get a bl*w j*b.

    Me: WHAT? What did you just say???? How do you know that word????

    My son (looking very frightened): You know. . . a bl*w j*b. Where they go in and suck all the fat out of ya.

    Me: OH. You mean liposuction. It's called liposuction.

    My son: Yeah, liposuction.

    AWESOME!!
  • jdevrich
    jdevrich Posts: 25
    Oh and...Last night I had on a tank top and was about to go walking outside. DS said I couldn't go out like that b/c my shirt would fall down and then people would be looking at my boobies...
  • comet_wow
    comet_wow Posts: 180 Member
    Omg these posts are sooo funny.

    My nephew when he was around 3 came running into the house shouting "look mummy I can w*nk! I can w*nk!" She turned quickly to look at him frantically closing one eye...you mean you can wink Jonathan. Hahaha

    My younger daughter was always getting her words mixed up...the letterbox was the chatterbox, the glove compartment was the glove department etc

    My older daughter when she was around 7 was walking with me in the town, there was noone else around except a couple of army guys in full uniform walking in front of us. All of a sudden she gave a wolf whistle which would put a builder to shame. They both turned round and just gaped at me. I was so embarrassed I couldn't even explain it was her and not me :)
  • CharityPearce
    CharityPearce Posts: 215
    My 18 year old son this weekend in the vehicle with me - talking to my 15 year old son...

    "I'm going to be out chasing tail..." blah, blah, blah... "chasing tail" this and "chasing tail" that.

    Me: "WTF??? Shut up, you're totally grossing me out! I do NOT want to hear you talk about girls like that??? Are you crazy talking like that in front of your MOTHER???"

    My son: "What??? What does that mean, anyway???"

    Me (laughing and soooo relieved): "It means you're going after girls to try to get sex"

    My 18 year old son (totally red in the face): "OH! I heard it on Scent of a Woman. I thought it just meant trying to get girls"

    OMG! I told him he needs to know what he's quoting before he starts quoting. LOL. Little turd!
  • smae1980
    smae1980 Posts: 794 Member
    Mine woke up this morning and I say "good morning love and how did you sleep?" he looks at me and wrinkles his nose is disgust "none of your business".....It was too fricken funny I can't even be mad about it.

    I can just hear my daughter saying that! It's funny when kids hear a phrase and they understand the context, but they don't understand that it's actually not nice to say...can't help but laugh
    My almost 5 year old says "emn't" as in " I am (em)not" contracts to "I emn't". Don't know where she picked it up, but it must just be little kid logic because years ago I had a friend who had a daughter who was 4 or 5 at the time and she also said " emn't"
  • casey_when_u_go
    casey_when_u_go Posts: 83 Member
    My little guy asked recently "When dogs talk to each other, can cats understand what they are saying?"
    :laugh:
  • smae1980
    smae1980 Posts: 794 Member
    My daughter told me she was going to marry a particular boy in her preschool class when she grows up. I asked her why she wanted to marry him and she said because he had brown hair like hers. I asked her if he was nice to her and she said yes, i asked her if she thought he was handsome and she replied " Well, he might be when he grows up" !!!
  • susanmary88
    susanmary88 Posts: 37
    My 7-year-old had watched our rabbits have a couple of litters last winter.
    Charlotte: Mom, how many kids did you have when I was born?
    Mom: Just you.
    Charlotte: Like there weren't more and you gave them away on Craiglist?
    Mom: No just you.
    Charlotte: That's weird, why only one?

    haha! this is hilarious!!
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    Bump
  • lorim77
    lorim77 Posts: 63 Member
    My 4 year old: "Nana, would you like a cookie?"
    My mom: "No thank you. Nana needs to lose some weight so I can be skinny."
    4 y.o.: "But Nana, you already ARE skinny!'
    My mom: "You're so sweet. But Nana has a fat belly."
    4 y.o (looking at Mom's tummy): " Well, just don't look there."
  • shawnscott5
    shawnscott5 Posts: 295 Member
    These are so much fun!
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 614 Member
    4 year old: Auntie, Guess what?
    Me: what
    4 yo: I"m sexy and I know it.
    Me: really
    4 yo: Ya, I work out.
  • jjblogs
    jjblogs Posts: 327 Member
    I run a daycare. This week we are trying to trap the St. Patrick Leprechaun. We set a trap, and he's been leaving us green treats on and off all day. The kids keep trying to find him. Not long ago we celebrated Mardi Gras, which confused one of my little girls today when she said: "I think I just saw that 'ol Mardi Gras run and hide behind the refrigerator".

    One other one: I was changing a baby boy, and one of the little girls was watching...."Why does he have a tail??"
  • CharityEaton
    CharityEaton Posts: 499 Member
    A few weeks ago my daughter, 7 years old, was having issues not feeling well and having to visit the school nurse! After two days of me going to the school to pick her up and then she is fine once we get home, I had a little chat wth her.
    Come to find out a little boy in her class was "making hearts at her"
    Then she tells me, " mom, he says he loves me but I don't love him back. What do I do?" I almost died of laughter....all of that drama over a little boy.
    I told her to tell him she wanted to be his friend and that she was too young for a boyfriend.


    Years ago my oldest asked me , " why are they called artichokes? Do they make you choke?"
  • hcoburn37
    hcoburn37 Posts: 442 Member
    when my son was 5 he saw me doing crunches and said
    "mom what are you doing"
    me: "crunches to get skinny"
    him "sorry mom, its not working yet"

    same kid about a month ago, now 14. We are disagreeing about something and he says
    "you know mom, I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong"
  • CharityEaton
    CharityEaton Posts: 499 Member
    oh I forgot the best one, my daughter was in the dressing room with me when I was trying on a shirt. She looks at my stretch marked belly and says,
    kiddo, " why does your belly look like that?'
    Me, "It's from you and your sisters growing in there when you were babies."
    kiddo, "where we scratching you?"
    Me, rolling on the floor with laughter.." umm no honey my skin stretched and when you came out it wasn't stretched anymore so now it is wrinkled."
    Kiddo, " It's kind of gross."
    me, still laughing, " I know"
  • smae1980
    smae1980 Posts: 794 Member
    when my son was 5 he saw me doing crunches and said
    "mom what are you doing"
    me: "crunches to get skinny"
    him "sorry mom, its not working yet"

    same kid about a month ago, now 14. We are disagreeing about something and he says
    "you know mom, I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong"


    Oooh! smart *kitten*! pretty funny though!:laugh: Oh meant the 14 year old, not calling little guy a smart *kitten*
  • Runs4Wine
    Runs4Wine Posts: 416 Member
    My son is four and last week as I was buckling him in his carseat on the way to school we had this little chat...

    4YO: "Mommy, you have pretty purple eyes"
    Me: "Purple? My eyes are blue"
    4YO: "No under your eyes, it's a pretty purple"
    Me: "That just means Mama's tired"

    Little turd had to point out the bags under my eyes.....

    I liked it the week before when he saw me doing Ripped in 30 and said:
    "But you're already skinny, why do you need to do that again?"
  • asamuels85
    asamuels85 Posts: 170 Member
    well these are too fun.. and they never end..
    One of my nieces was shopping with her mom and I when she was about 2 or 3.
    "i know something about coffee mom"
    "Whats that Aiesha?
    "It makes you black!"
    HHAHAHAHA

    My favorites are from my own two
    Makenna 5yrs
    I ask her "Do you think I am fat or pretty?" and she replied "You're fat AND pretty mama"

    My son 4.5yrs
    "Mom did you have any more kids before you had daddy? Or is he the oldest of us?"
    LOVE EM!!

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