Bad relationship with parents ):

Anyaaaa11

Anyone else have a bad relationship with their parent/s ??
My mom and I have a very complex relationship..
My mom struggles with addiction and it has just ruined our relationship.
I can't trust her and it's interfering with my efforts to lose weight and be this healthy happy
Person I so badly want to be! I live with her and my siblings and it's just so hard on me.
Sometimes I ask myself why I even try to lose weight? Like I don't deserve it.
I don't know what to do? Every time I feel a little better about myself, it goes to crap.

Can any of you relate?

Please no judgemental or rude comments..

andreanicole686

I'm so sorry your dealing with this.I don't know what your going through but I have had friends who had bad relationships with their parents and they tried to separate themselves as much as possible. Keep working on yourself hun you deserve the best.

cjsanford63

I'm so sorry that you are struggling with your relationship with your mother. I know how difficult it can be. My mother and I haven't gotten along for as long as I can remember, and of course it is ALL my fault. Society tells us that we have to be loyal and supportive of our parents. Sometimes that just isn't possible. There comes a point where you have to take care of yourself. Please remember that her issues are not yours. And no matter how she feels about herself, or what she projects on you - you are worth it. You deserve to be happy and to work on yourself. I can only recommend surrounding yourself with very good friends, and try to separte yourself from her as much as you can. You are of great value and should definately strive to achive your goals. Good luck to you, you won't live with her forever. It does get better.

ihavethree

I can relate as my father is and has been an alcoholic my entire life. He is not really a part of my life now but I still feel like I am trying to prove something to him. I have recently read Jillian Michaels book UNLIMITED and loved it and it really helped me see things for what they are. I have also done her 30 Day Shred video and now rotate 7 of her other videos everyday and I am so happy. I am losing weight for me and am shaking off any negativity around me. Good luck and hang in there

danielleburwell97060

I'm so sorry. I do know how you feel. Thankfully I am free of having to live with my mother now but her and I only have as much of a relationship as I have to tolerate to not send her off the edge. And even that is only while my grandma is still alive (she has cancer and it's not something they can get into remission or anything).

I'm sorry you feel it hinders you in your weight loss efforts. Just remember that you are worth it! You deserve the best life possible and no one should hold you back from that or keep you down. Anyone who doesn't isn't worthy to be in your life, and sometimes unfortunately that applies to our parents too.

nurseamysweeney

Sometimes, people (like your mom) will sabotage YOUR efforts at bettering yourself becasue they feel so lost in their own lives.... with that said, despite no support from home, if this is something you want to do then do it, you will be better for it (and feel better too)

aftergypsies

I can completely relate to this. My mother and I recently stopped talking because she has problems with lying and I just got to the point where I had to basically push her away. My brother doesn't talk to her either. It's very hard, I know but don't let it get you off track to what you want to do. Honestly.

Sometimes we need to realize that just because these people are our parents doesn't mean they deserve to treat us badly and we don't have to put up with it. I hope you can get through it and don't let her problems hurt you or your efforts to do what you want.

LisaHendersan

I can completely relate, i have always had a difficult relationship with my mother. It was and is essentially emotional and mental abuse from her since i was a child. It has got to the point where i hear from her rarely and only when she wants to be mean or make comments about the way i look etc. She is not a positive person to be around so i have learned to accept that it it better for me emotionally and mentally to let her go. I can say hwoever that in my opinion her treatment of me when i was young and even now has a massive impact on my self esteem and poor eating habits. :C

hedgiie

hope things get well with you

LisaHendersan

my thoughts exactly. Just because someone is your parent does not mean you have to accept their treatment of you. After 28 years i learned this finally.

mnwalkingqueen

I can relate to your relationship with parents. My mom is very verbally abusive and has been my whole life to everyone including my dad but he stays with her. It has ruined my love relationships along with friend relationships because I wonder why people want to be around me and tend not to believe their reason. It actually has helped my weight loss because my mom use to be over 300 lbs until she got cancer. In my head I say I never want to be like her overweight and mean as hell to everyone, so I try hard to be healthy eventhough I am still overweight I try hard.

rugbyphreak

i have a horrible relationship with my father. he's been addicted to alcohol and pain killers since before i was born. he is verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive towards my entire family. my mother and i were never very close either, though now we are friendly and tolerable.

the only way to deal with their negativity is to better yourself. shove your success in their faces. their lives suck, but that doesn't give them the right to bring you down. fight back and become the person you've always wanted to be.

good luck!

Kenzietea2

My best advice is work your hardest to move out.

AnnaMaus

I'm with you all.

I have discovered (or, er-- acknowledged) recently that my mother is a narcissist.

While it has explained a lot for, it's been an extremely painful process of realization... and even worse, having to do something about it, just as she's trying to get back into my life. Everyday I want to reach out to my brother, and I can't let myself because I'm conflicted about how to proceed.

I'm afraid to acknowledge that this has determined a significant portion of my identity and lifelong negative thought patterns, and that there is a way forward for me, but it involves basically refusing her access to me.

Friend me if I can help. Fitness includes attitudes and self-image.

warshahn

You've lost 2 lbs and you're well on your way to making your goal. Don't let anyone interfere with your success!!

Elizabeth_C34

My dad is probably the biggest narcissist on the planet. I've not spoken with him in a year, and cut him completely out of my life after years of being strung along by him. He is an unrepentent chronic liar who has stolen from everyone in my family except me (I never gave him a dime), and spent my entire childhood blaming me for him not having anything to do with me.

My mom walked out on me when I was 16, and I only spoke to her 11 years later at the age of 27. Our relationship is "friendly" but distant and awkward.

Sometimes, life hands you lemons. You can't help who your parents are, but always remember that only you define who you are. They do not. You are only 19 years old, and you have a very long life ahead of you. Start making choices for you. Let your parents take care of themselves and remember that you can love them and not enable them at the same time. They don't go hand in hand. Focus on you, set some goals, and do what you have to do to get there.

Natx83

Sorry to hear! I cant say that I have that extent of problems. I went through a period when my parents seperated that I blamed my mother and sort of resented her for it, so I can kind of understand, but im sure your problems delve a little deeper.

My advice would be: dont let your parents define you.

Yasmine91

My relationship with my mum is not a very stable one. Everything she has to say is negative. If its not how she would do things, its stupid and won't work. If I lose weight and tell her how many inches my waist has gotten smaller, she'll tell me how big my *kitten* is and that it needs to go. She complains that I'm never around her, but when I am I'm at my worst. We fight all the time unless she's fighting with my older sister who she picks on the most. Then she'll be all geo faced and start kissing up to me.

She is my mum but I don't see her as anything that I would be expected to as a daughter. Maybe its just my complex of wanting to be alone when I'm at home, I really don't know. I mean, she doesn't even want me to have friends, move out, or marry someone who isn't up to HER standards.

There's so much more but urgh it goes on forever :l

maggiemay365

my thoughts exactly. Just because someone is your parent does not mean you have to accept their treatment of you. After 28 years i learned this finally.

Same here. I take care of my mom whom has advanced Alzheimers. My Dad whom is elderly called me and told me "That I am Dead Meat to Him" and "Never to speak to him again"..I'm 43 years old, and I have been dealing with this all my life. Now that I have a young son, I know can see that this stuff has the possibility of repeating, and I would never speak to my child no matter his age like that. If my Mom was of sound mind, and heard the crap that comes out of my dads mouth, she would have put him in his place...this idea makes me want to over eat..it is how I became over weight in recent time..pushing down feelings with food..

DogsK

I feel sorry for you cause you are in a bad position right now. However I survived. Had issues with my family that took me to some real dark places. Then I realised I control me. No one else does. If someone has power over me, then at some point I gave it to them. Loose the weight and get fit for you cause you deserve it. If family or friends want to be part of your life, then that is a good thing but it has to be on amicable terms that you both can agree to. If they do not want to meet you at least half way, then tell them to sod off. Real family will not sabotage your efforts to better yourself. I hope it all works out for you and you can achieve your goals and dreams.

aelarek

My relationship with my mom is strained too. It definitely gets better after you move out and can remove yourself from the situation.