Kids say the darndest things...
BAMFMeredith
Posts: 2,810 Member
I was COMPLETELY mortified when this happened the other day at the store...
We were walking along in Target when a rather large woman walked by. She did not appear to be pregnant, but she was quite overweight. I didn't really even notice her, until my loud mouth 5 year old said (at full volume) "Mommy! Does that lady have a baby in her belly??" while pointing at the woman. I grabbed him by the arm and walked away as quickly as possible and just said "we don't say that about strangers and we don't point."
I felt SO bad though. I didn't know whether to just go away and pretend it never happened or to apologize to the woman. I chose just to leave because I didn't want to make it awkward...
Has this happened to anyone else?? How would you have handled the situation? I only ask because I'm about 80% sure it'll happen again, even though I told my son it wasn't ok...he's 5 and has ADHD, so ya know, the whole following directions thing is pretty hit or miss.
We were walking along in Target when a rather large woman walked by. She did not appear to be pregnant, but she was quite overweight. I didn't really even notice her, until my loud mouth 5 year old said (at full volume) "Mommy! Does that lady have a baby in her belly??" while pointing at the woman. I grabbed him by the arm and walked away as quickly as possible and just said "we don't say that about strangers and we don't point."
I felt SO bad though. I didn't know whether to just go away and pretend it never happened or to apologize to the woman. I chose just to leave because I didn't want to make it awkward...
Has this happened to anyone else?? How would you have handled the situation? I only ask because I'm about 80% sure it'll happen again, even though I told my son it wasn't ok...he's 5 and has ADHD, so ya know, the whole following directions thing is pretty hit or miss.
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Dood. My son was about 4, and we were checking out at the grocery store, there were 3 teenagers behind the counter, all of them were black. My big mouthed son says "Mommy! They're BLACK!" Not rude, but very loud. I had never talked to him about people's color, so this completely through me for a loop.
" And that boy has a big nose!" LOUD! I was mortified. But that's not the end of it. We walked out to our car, and this man, I've known my whole life, walks up to say hi. He has a birthmark on hald of his face, and my little brat says "Momma, what's wrong with his face" again... loud... He's lucky I didn't strangle him then...0 -
I can't even tell you the number of times something like that has happened to me. My son is 7 and also has ADHD, so I completely understand! The last time it happened to me was when he was about 5. I said, "I'm so sorry, I have several friends who are pregnant, so he assumes that everyone is!" And she seemed ok with that explanation. Good luck!! :laugh:0
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My son is 5 also and would absolutely do the same thing! Once when he was about 3 years old we were at the grocery store and he saw a man in a wheelchair with legs that had clearly been amputated at the knee. Gabriel looks and me and shouts, "Where are his LEGS!?" I am not even sure what I did next but I do remember smiling at the man and mouthing, "sorry."0
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I think you did they right thing. It may have embarrassed her more to have to talk to you. I have a 5 year old and I feel your pain
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My daughter is 10 now and she's never said anything but I've caught the look on her face...I could tell she was about to say something and I had to get her attention and give her the "Mom Look" :grumble: and prevent it. I wouldn't have apologized either because that would only make the lady feel worse I would think. People have to understand that kids say things. He didn't try to insult her, kids are just very open and honest. I'm sure she'll be fine and I don't think there is any advice for those situations! Hang in there! :laugh:0
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i picked my 3 yr old up the other day from school , she drew a picture of me and said "theres your head , theres your nose and theres your big tummy" , it was so innocent i laughed and told her it looked great just like me haha, children come out with all sorts its part of there charm, its innocent, if i heard your child say something like that to me , i would have told him it because i eat too much chocolate and laughed. dont worry about it x0
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My kid hasn't said anything yet.....but I know my day is coming.
When my brother was little (around 3) he asked my mom if an obese woman was a "big lady"? And apparently, I asked if an African American man was chocolate......I was probably about 3 also.
Kids ask questions because they are curious, not out of spite. But it's still embarrasing as hell!!! I know my parents were mortified by us......but they probably pulled a few things on their parents too.
My parents just shushed us quickly and moved along. Later, we had a discussion about how everyone is different and that's a good thing. Those discussions taught us to be accepting of people, regardless of their gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc. I have to say, we were raised pretty well Kudos to my mom and dad, lol!! 0 -
I don't have any kids but I say the darndest things.. I once asked a lady how far along she was, she wasn't prego. I was mortified..0
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My 7 year old used to be obsessed and ask them directly..... He still does stuff like that and asks a guy if they are a girl cause of long hair etc..
He is also ADHD and autistic...the joys of being a special needs kids mom 0 -
My children have asked the same questions............you know what.........they are little kids and are very curious. Just tell them the answer right then and there. Most people don't care what comes out of the mouth of a little kid:bigsmile: I work with People with disabilities and have brought my children around wheelchairs..........they stare and then they ask the question..........I simply say....in front of the person.......that is their "legs".......that is how they walk. Kids are always going to question another color from their own.......be honest! If you have not raised your children to be predjudice, then why does it matter if we simply say "yes" they are black, white, brown, tan..........whatever..........don't make a big deal out of it.:bigsmile:0
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hahaha.. kids are kids. They do that. It's adults who have a problem with it I wouldn't worry about it. Kids just say what comes to their head. My 8 year old went with my husband to the shops and he also went to the off-license (it's where you buy alcohol here in Ireland) and at the top of her voice, she said 'Daddy, why do we ALWAYS have to go to the beer shop!?' - funnily enough I was pregnant at the time and he went in there to by non-alchoholic wine for my birthday hahaha.
I've had several kids say to me if I have a baby in my tummy. One boy point blank said 'you look a bit fat, lady' - he wasn't older than maybe 3 or 4. I don't mind them. They just see it like it is.
What I do have a problem with is when I go to the pharmacy to buy something, like flu tablets, and the pharmacist says 'you shouldn't take these in your condition.'
'I'm sorry what condition would that be?' *raised eyebrow* LOL...
Anyway, sorry for waffling. Don't be embarrassed by your kids, that's the least he'll come up with!!! I've just had a few amusing times bringing my 3 year old boy to the toilet (2 year old girl in tow) and getting looks because the two of them are talking about how he has different body parts to her. Kids naturally don't have any censorship. They get taught that, and sometimes that goes OTT with the so called taboos.
Okay, really gonna stop waffling now!0 -
My son is now 8 and the worse was when he asked me "Mommy are you fat b/c you dont exercise? Are you not making good food decisions?" Gotta love that the schools are teaching them young to take care of their bodies though 0
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I also have a 5 year old (and I'm pretty sure she has ADHD as well, but they won't diagnose her til she's 6), and she says things like that all the time. I try not to get mad because really she's just making observations. I do try to explain to her that she needs to keep her observations to herself, or ask me later when we're alone, because some of the things she says can hurt people's feelings. She has made all kinds of observations about me "Why do you have boobies on your back? (i.e. back fat), "Why is your belly still fat when there's no baby in there anymore?", "Why are the backs of your legs all bumpy?" (i.e. cellulite). I try to take it all in stride. I would suggest just telling your son to ask you questions about other people's appearances more quietly. And to start it off with "Mommy, I have a question" so you can make sure you're out of ear shot of other people.0
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My three-year daughter called out that woman was fat at the grocery store. I didn't think the lady heard her, so quickly went around the corner and reprimand her. It wasn't till the lady came up to us and told my daughter not to worry, that she was fat. I was mortified. And felt really bad that my daughter had probably hurt the woman's feelings :-(
But then I realized. This is my fault. I walk around talking about how "fat" I am. Which really, I'm not. Just not where I want to be. I need to watch what I am saying around her, not only so a situation like that doesn't happen, but so I don't give her a body image complex too. I now really try to be more conscious about what I am saying in front of her.0 -
I took my THEN 3 year old daughter to the doc because she was sick. The doctor was an older woman with very tight curly salt and pepper hair. My daughter said in her cute little 3 year old voice "her hair-w is verrrwy scare-wee".
Nice.
In addition to doing all this, she had her fists balled up to her mouth like she was terrified.0 -
I have a 5 year old son and about 6 months ago we were sitting at a restaurant together and he looked over at the table next to us and said, "LOOK AT THE LADY WITH THE PRETTY BROWN FACE. SHE IS THE SAME COLOR AS OUR PRESIDENT." Now, my son just made an observation so I was not upset with him, what I was upset was with how the woman reacted.
She came over to the table where my son and I were sitting and told me I was raising a racist child! Before I could even say anything she said, "Makes sense your son is already racist, he has blond hair and blue eyes just like his Dad."
I stood up, smiled at the woman and said, "So you are upset my son called your pretty and compared you to our president? Nothing out of my son's mouth was racist. However, pointing out my son and I are racist due to our blond hair and blue eyes is a stereotype and is sad you pegged us just by the color of our eyes and hair. Sad really."
Her husband stood up, who was a mountain of a man and said, "You are right. My wife was out of line. Thank you for handling this with tact. He then paid my bill for our meal.
His wife complained to the manager that she sat next to racist people and would not be back. How do I know? My best friend owned the establishment.
The more you know....0 -
I will never forget when my daughter (now 10) was learning her colors, we were checking out at a store and she pointed and annouced (as proud as can be) that the woman in front of us was brown! The woman was very nice about it so that was nice. My girls (I have 4) crack me up!0
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When my daughter was 5, she turned around on the bench at church and was looking at the couple behind us. All of a sudden I heard her say, Sister Millie...you're fat! I could have died! Millie just smiled and said, Yes I am! I apologized and got onto my daughter but Millie just said, Out of the mouths of babes!
Even though she was very gracious of my daughters opinion of her, I was moritfied! Kids are kids and I think anyone with kids or who have had kids understand!0 -
I always knew this could be a problem so I started to tell my son when he was very young that talking about the way someone looks isn't a very nice thing to do.
He never paid much attention to strangers when we were out and about. However, one day at the doctor's office a large woman walked in. She was very tall and larger than most overweight people you see in public. My son stopped playing with his toys, walked over to me and said (more loudly than I was comfortable with), "Mom, that guy is huge!" Not being able to leave the situation, I told him quietly that God made each and everyone and loves them all the same. It doesn't matter what people look like and we shouldn't point those kinds of things out. I imagine he just thought he had seen his very first real giant and didn't mean any harm in what he said.0 -
I remember the waitress bringing a bowl of broccoli soup to the table when my daughter was not quite 3. She wrinkled up her cute little nose and said in her sweetest voice....loud enough for everyone around to hear....."Shew, it smells like poop."
Same daughter at two..... she could already recite her name, address and phone number which the tax preparer thought was adorable. She continued to question her. "what's your Mommy's name?" Her anser..."Mommy" Tax Lady...."No, what does your Daddy call your Mommy?" Her....in the deepest voice she could muster....."Woman!" He's no longer my husband...lol.0 -
Oh, yes, my son has said similar things. Don't worry about it! We were at my polling place voting in the presidential election (I brought him with me, he was about 4) and there was a little person working the polls. My son said when he walked by, "Why does that little boy have a grown up head?" He assumed it was a little kid but the full-size head threw him off. I was mortified, but hey, kids are just curious! I explained that people come in all shapes and sizes, and that this person was a grown up man but he was just shorter than other people, that's all.0
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They're just kids, it can be embarrassing but people just think "meh they're kids". I personally love how curious kids are, the always stare at my pink hair and piercings.
It kinda bugs me when I hear them ask their parents questions about it and they tell them to wheesht.
I mean how hard is it to say "She dyes it that colour" or "some people like to look like that", or "people come in all different colours", "people come in all different shapes and sizes", or in relation to pregnancy, "it's rude to ask that about a lady you don't know".
Kids aren't bad behaved or bratty, they just don't have the idea of manners that we have. If we want them to be our version of polite we have to teach them!0 -
About 2 years ago, a girl in my daughter's class asked me if I was going to have a baby. I wasn't. I was 30 lbs overweight. I told her I had a really big dinner, lol. I wasn't upset with the girl. I realize I gain weight in the belly area and it would make kids think I'm pregnant. I think most people realize young children don't have filters yet and and are going to commit social faux paus.
This was when I came into the classroom to help out, so the child's mother wasn't there to handle it. I'm glad because I wouldn't want her to feel embarrassed. I for one wouldn't have needed an apology, but I imagine that apologizing can help teach the child that pointing things out like that isn't polite public behavior.
Off topic, but this reminds me of when I was actually pregnant. I was very pregnant and working at a library. A boy who came in regularly, but hasn't seen me in a few months came in and noticed my belly. He whispered in one of those whispers that carries through the whole building; "Boy that lady ate a lot this summer." LOL0 -
How about when kids say the loveliests things to YOU? My son picked up my shirt the other day a tiny bit, poked my belly (aka fat) and said, in all seriousness like a doctor would "Mama, I think there is one more baby in there, just one more" I've had three, so I could blame it on the fact that maybe he wants a younger brother but truth is, kids say it like they see it, so I think it has more to do with my stomach. I laughed it off, the little bugger!0
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My daughter has never done anything like this in public but sometimes she wants me to take a bath with her and one night, about 2 years ago, we were in the tub having a great time and I was ready to be out. The water was still warm for her but getting cold for me so I stood up to get out and she said "so thats why the water was so high". Then the next time she asked me to get in with her she said "I like it when you take a bath with me because you make the water really high Mommy".
I just had to keep repeating to myself in my head...she's only 5...she's only 5...I can laugh about it now but at the time it wasn't so funny.0 -
Motivation and support??0
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My dd is 13 and has ADHD. I have learned to embrace her quirkiness. Your little boy is five so its not like he knew he was saying anything hurtful. He was just being a curious kid. Even with ADHD, he will learn what is appropriate and what isn't in due time. Let him the bright curious kid that he is. He will have enough teachers and other adults in his life who are going to try to rein him in. I remember once my nephew was with my mother at the grocery store. He was probably four or five at the time. He looked at the man next to him and said loudly to my mom, "that man sure is bwak". And the man looked at him and said, "and I'm mean too". I have enjoyed telling that story for years, but my poor little nephew was probably scared when he said that.0
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My son is now 8 and the worse was when he asked me "Mommy are you fat b/c you dont exercise? Are you not making good food decisions?" Gotta love that the schools are teaching them young to take care of their bodies though
That is actually so awesome that he is a child and understands the correlation between making good food decisions and exercise!! I'd be pretty proud!0 -
I have a 5 year old son and about 6 months ago we were sitting at a restaurant together and he looked over at the table next to us and said, "LOOK AT THE LADY WITH THE PRETTY BROWN FACE. SHE IS THE SAME COLOR AS OUR PRESIDENT." Now, my son just made an observation so I was not upset with him, what I was upset was with how the woman reacted.
She came over to the table where my son and I were sitting and told me I was raising a racist child! Before I could even say anything she said, "Makes sense your son is already racist, he has blond hair and blue eyes just like his Dad."
I stood up, smiled at the woman and said, "So you are upset my son called your pretty and compared you to our president? Nothing out of my son's mouth was racist. However, pointing out my son and I are racist due to our blond hair and blue eyes is a stereotype and is sad you pegged us just by the color of our eyes and hair. Sad really."
Her husband stood up, who was a mountain of a man and said, "You are right. My wife was out of line. Thank you for handling this with tact. He then paid my bill for our meal.
His wife complained to the manager that she sat next to racist people and would not be back. How do I know? My best friend owned the establishment.
The more you know....
Wow.. Good for you.0 -
I don't have any kids, but for some reason they are always drawn to me---be if the kids of friends, family, or even strangers.
While vacationing with my family in Florida, there was this 3-year-old girl who took to me almost instantly. I just can't explain it. We were in the pool and her mother was pacing back and forth someplace else on a cell phone while her aunt and granny watched from the 2nd floor balcony of their hotel room. This sorta worried me...so I just let her follow me around the pool to ensure she didn't drown---though for 3 she was an AMAZING swimmer.
Anyways was time goes on she hugs up to me and yells as loudly as ever, 'Yours Skins a different color than mines! Why?' She's black and I am white. I wasn't quite sure how to respond, though it was probably the most obvious to just tell the truth.
On another note, I was watching this one little girl (friend of the fam's kid) who was 7 going on 30 mouth wise. She sees me walking around in shorts, looks at me with disgust and says, 'Why yo legs so fat?'...Oh WHY didn't I choke her?0
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