Wedding Dress Nightmares

DLDzioba

So I am getting married in a year and a half and like all brides I want everything to be perfect. Mom and dad are perfectly willing to pay to have my dress(es?) custom made but I really didn't want to miss out on the hunt. I went to David's Bridal and had an okay time but I am getting super frustrated and jaded with the whole idea of wedding gowns.
I don't like strapless dresses. I do not like the weird frills and pick-up and other random stuff they're doing with skirts. I do not like bodices that look more like underwear than formal wear.

Was I born in the wrong decade?!

It's bad enough I feel I'm the only girl in my generation that actually likes yellow gold.

I'm just over it. I still have to look at plus size dresses because I've only started my weight loss journey and all I can think is how BAD most of these dresses look on bigger women. I want my big wedding, though, and I want to feel like a Goddamned princess on MY big day.

I do not want my 'dress consultant' to bring me things I specifically said I did not want. I do not want to have to resort to looking online for dresses because none of the stores I can go to have more than one or two dresses that meet my idea of what I want.

I'm just.... Over it. Is it really too much to ask for a dress that is elegant, modest, and beautiful?

Elizabeth_C34

This was my gown:





I had the same issue you have with wanting a gown that was a little more coverage. While mine was strapless, the jacket kept my shoulders and back covered, and the strapless top came up higher than other tops keeping me covered. It was a dark ivory/chamgpagne color.









For the reception, I removed the outer jacket and had short sleeves put on. They simply clipped inside the strapless underdress. The jacket was heavy and cumbersome (pretty but frustrating for dancing):



FWIW, I went through 52 different gowns at 8 different shops before I found the one I got. I loved it. It was perfect.

Be patient and make sure you look around.

Sorry for spamming you with pics... just wanted to say that this style of dress does exist, but they are hard to find right now. I got mine at David's and had the short sleeves added later by them.

misskerouac

It's not too much to ask! Every woman should be able to have a dress that they feels represents who they are and that they feel comfortable in. I HATED wedding dress shopping, it was awful, I wanted something retro and beautiful but I kept seeing poofy after poofy after poofy. It took me 5 stores and HOURS to find my dress, but I found one that I LOVED, it was classic, and beautiful, with that hint of vintage to it. Just be patient, for some of us it takes a long time to find "the" dress.


Edit to add a pic of my dress, you can see how simple it is but it took a LONG time to find, I had to weed through a lot of frilly, Vegas stripper looking and mermaid dresses to find something this simple!

Contrarian

Maybe you should think about consulting with a seamstress. You can design your own dress.

0EmmeNicole0

No it isn't!! Good luck on your hunt. I hope you find the exact dress you want for your big day, i'm sure you'll look beautiful!! And yeah they are adding lots of frills and foofery to the new dresses. Your wedding dress should be a reflection of you, it will probably take a bit of looking before you find the perfect one. But custom made is always a good thing

Meg177

I don't like the wedding dresses right now either. All those strapless, sleevless....You're going into a church. Cover yourself. I also prefer good fabrics and the ready-made don't really do that. If you can have it made I sure would.

btw Elizabeth, that is an amazing dress. Everything it should be.

dovesgate

No, it isn't too much to ask for. I do have to ask though if you have thought about having your dress custom made? If I had to do it all over again, I might have chosen to go down that route. I did love my spaghetti-strapped a-line gown even though it was completely different from what I thought I would like.


Here are some places to look for inspiration:

http://www.simplyelegantforyou.com/index.php
http://www.inweddingdress.com/theme-wedding-dresses-bg112.html
http://www.inweddingdress.com/wedding-dress/plus-size-wedding-dresses.html
http://www.dhgate.com/wholesale/a-line-wedding-dresses/c002002001.html#prod-bread

Also, if you really buckle down, you can lose a good amount of weight before you absolutely have to order your gown. 6-9 months from wedding date is the general guideline but depending on where you get your gown, you may be able to get away with less time - which means more time to lose weight and fit a dress you love.

bakingmadness

I had great luck at Alfred Angelo a few years ago. I didn't want bare shoulders so they found me dresses that either had sleeves or a jacket that I could wear. I opted for the dress with the jacket as I liked it the best. I bought it in white but the one I tried on in the picture below is the yellow/gold color.

infamousmk

Davids has a lot of dresses with more coverage and options for more upper body covering. Why not look on sites like etsy and ebay? .. both are great for unique dresses.


Also, I like yellow gold.

Elizabeth_C34

I don't like the wedding dresses right now either. All those strapless, sleevless....You're going into a church. Cover yourself. I also prefer good fabrics and the ready-made don't really do that. If you can have it made I sure would.

btw Elizabeth, that is an amazing dress. Everything it should be.

Thank you! I loved it. It took forever to find.

TDGee

I don't like strapless dresses. I do not like the weird frills and pick-up and other random stuff they're doing with skirts. I do not like bodices that look more like underwear than formal wear.

Was I born in the wrong decade?!
I want my big wedding, though, and I want to feel like a Goddamned princess on MY big day.

I do not want my 'dress consultant' to bring me things I specifically said I did not want. I do not want to have to resort to looking online for dresses because none of the stores I can go to have more than one or two dresses that meet my idea of what I want.

I'm just.... Over it. Is it really too much to ask for a dress that is elegant, modest, and beautiful?

Princess Jasmine?

I don't like the wedding dresses right now either. All those strapless, sleevless....You're going into a church. Cover yourself.

Maybe something along this line?

Contrarian

I don't like strapless dresses. I do not like the weird frills and pick-up and other random stuff they're doing with skirts. I do not like bodices that look more like underwear than formal wear.

Was I born in the wrong decade?!
I want my big wedding, though, and I want to feel like a Goddamned princess on MY big day.

I do not want my 'dress consultant' to bring me things I specifically said I did not want. I do not want to have to resort to looking online for dresses because none of the stores I can go to have more than one or two dresses that meet my idea of what I want.

I'm just.... Over it. Is it really too much to ask for a dress that is elegant, modest, and beautiful?

Princess Jasmine?

I don't like the wedding dresses right now either. All those strapless, sleevless....You're going into a church. Cover yourself.

Maybe something along this line?

Eeek! It's a ghost!

DLDzioba

lol

Evelyn_Gorfram

Elizabeth, just to say -

You look beautiful. Your hubby looks great. (Congratulations, BTW :flowerforyou: ) Your wedding looks wonderful, and your dress was just gorgeous.

But I must be showing my age (49 years), because the thing that strikes me most about your pics is that your dad (I'm figuring he's your dad) is a totally scrumptious handsome-cutie! Your mom is a very lucky woman, and any future sons you might choose to have will be lucky handsome boys.

lalaloses

I was the same way - I hated all of the foofy wedding dresses. Mine was strapless, but had a jacket that I loved!


aaamfpwedding by Lala (Shady Lane Studios), on Flickr

MUByM

I completely understand. I hated the way all dresses looked on me so I just opted for this modest one. I don't think it looked too bad either!



EDIT: Cut out my face because I didn't look too happy. lol

Pebble321

Yup, it's hard work - I've done it twice! Especially when you are a bigger size and all the dresses you could try on are smaller sizes.
Keep looking though, you'll find something.
What about asking for something like Kate Middleton's dress, that was gorgeous and covered up a lot more than you usually see.

Elizabeth_C34

Elizabeth, just to say -

You look beautiful. Your hubby looks great. (Congratulations, BTW :flowerforyou: ) Your wedding looks wonderful, and your dress was just gorgeous.

But I must be showing my age (49 years), because the thing that strikes me most about your pics is that your dad (I'm figuring he's your dad) is a totally scrumptious handsome-cutie! Your mom is a very lucky woman, and any future sons you might choose to have will be lucky handsome boys.

Thank you!

HAHAH That's my grandfather, and he's almost 70. I'll be sure to tell him that you think he's cute, though my grandmother may have something to say about it. The suit he had on during the wedding was like 3 sizes too large so he was swamped, unfrotunately.

mrshoneybear1014

I found a really nice dress at david's bridal with beading and a pick up skirt - i felt like belle from beauty and the beast. i had them add in 3/4 sleeves because i didn't like strapless (my arms are too big) and it only made the dress nicer in my opinion. i have several pics of my dress up on my profile if you'd like to see. they can add sleeves to any dress that you get.

sherrybaby81

I don't like the wedding dresses right now either. All those strapless, sleevless....You're going into a church. Cover yourself.

Not everyone gets married in a church.

bonjour24

I agree with contrarian. if you want to be a princess, just get exactly what you want made for you. i doubt it would be that much more than buying one, and it would save you a tonne of time. plus they'd fit it and change it to your body shape, so you can slim down or chub up and it wouldn't make any difference- they'd just alter it to fit.

personally i got married in a sarong and singlet. worked for me! but i'm not much good with fuss.

Emabo

lalaloses, I absolutely LOVE THE CAKE!

Also, I am like most of you, and I prefer the more conservative dresses. I do find all dressed beautiful on anybody who prefers them though! I hope one day I can have an all white slim dress, with a v-neck, and wonderful full-length lace sleeves.
Might I add, you all looked beautiful in your dresses!

christinerush

Oh my God you look amazing! The more pictures the better! I say to stick to the most simple design you can find, an A line works well and yes add a jacket like you did and the clipped on sleeves is an amazing idea!

tehzephyrsong

David's Bridal is pretty much ****. Overpriced, shoddily constructed dresses hawked by pushy saleswomen that won't listen to what you want unless you're small enough to try on everything.

OP, I advise you to look for other bridal boutiques in the area. If David's is your only option, a custom dress might be your best bet to get what you want.

katem78

I had mine made...i got married on a Greek island, with a few friends so nothing in the bridal stores seemed appropriate. I went and bought the fabric (silk with some lace added) and had a seamstress( and mother of a friend) made it for me!

if you don't want to run from one store to the other...it is the best solution!

Good luck and best wishes!

Evelyn_Gorfram

Elizabeth, just to say -

You look beautiful. Your hubby looks great. (Congratulations, BTW :flowerforyou: ) Your wedding looks wonderful, and your dress was just gorgeous.

But I must be showing my age (49 years), because the thing that strikes me most about your pics is that your dad (I'm figuring he's your dad) is a totally scrumptious handsome-cutie! Your mom is a very lucky woman, and any future sons you might choose to have will be lucky handsome boys.

Thank you!

HAHAH That's my grandfather, and he's almost 70. I'll be sure to tell him that you think he's cute, though my grandmother may have something to say about it. The suit he had on during the wedding was like 3 sizes too large so he was swamped, unfrotunately.

Okay - I guess you know you're getting old when you find yourself cruising the internet for 70-yo grandfathers. :embarassed: (And *happily married* 70-yo grandfathers at that.)

Right, so then it's your grandmother who is a very lucky woman. :ohwell: I'm off to tend to my knitting, or to beleaguer young whippersnappers with my ear trumpet, or something....

Elizabeth_C34

Elizabeth, just to say -

You look beautiful. Your hubby looks great. (Congratulations, BTW :flowerforyou: ) Your wedding looks wonderful, and your dress was just gorgeous.

But I must be showing my age (49 years), because the thing that strikes me most about your pics is that your dad (I'm figuring he's your dad) is a totally scrumptious handsome-cutie! Your mom is a very lucky woman, and any future sons you might choose to have will be lucky handsome boys.

Thank you!

HAHAH That's my grandfather, and he's almost 70. I'll be sure to tell him that you think he's cute, though my grandmother may have something to say about it. The suit he had on during the wedding was like 3 sizes too large so he was swamped, unfrotunately.

Okay - I guess you know you're getting old when you find yourself cruising the internet for 70-yo grandfathers. :embarassed: (And *happily married* 70-yo grandfathers at that.)

Right, so then it's your grandmother who is a very lucky woman. :ohwell: I'm off to tend to my knitting, or to beleaguer young whippersnappers with my ear trumpet, or something....

Haha! Well, he is a great guy, and I'm sure he'll apprciate a young lovely lady like you finding him attractive still

micls

I get the feeling although I was lucky enough to find my dress quite quickly. I knew I didn't want strapless and I didn't want a traditional gown. I wanted something very light as I'm marrying on the beach.

Ended up spotting a dress on sale in Debenhams which was perfect. Quite grecian on top and a bit flowy at the bottom. Nice and light. Will get it altered a bit to fit more snugly but suits me well. Had no intention of wearing the big dress or paying the big price tag!

Maybe go to more non weddingy shops and look for dresses? Or look online?

Good luck

DLDzioba

I think in the end I will have to have it custom made but I'm not giving up the hunt. I started with David's Bridal because my sister in law had a good experience with them for her wedding. Luckily all the girls at work have opinions on where I can go next.

Mom2rh

I designed mine...and while this is not a full length photo (and don't ask about my "husband" lol), it will give you a little idea...it basically is fitted bodice, natural waist, full skirt but no train. Simple. The back was lower with a drape that came from the shoulder parts. I still love it even though I'm now getting divorced. If I had really married Johnny, I'm sure I'd still be married. :laugh:

_HeathBar_

Don't give up and don't settle. I'm not usually a picky or high maintenance person but I was super picky about my wedding dress. The result is that I was very happy on my wedding day and I'm so happy every time I look back at my pictures.

I tried both David's and Alfred Angelo. I HATED both places, I didn't like any of their dresses and their staff didn't seem very helpful. Instead, I found a nice bridal boutique that had very fair prices and a great seamstress. They special ordered the dress I wanted and made all the alterations I needed.