Homeless.. Ethical straw poll here. Thanks x

luwalmsley1983

Homeless what do you do? Theres a homeless chap in my town, keeps himself out of touble to my knowledge and if I have the change I give it to him but don't if I can't afford. Thing is today (he's on the way to my supermarket) I asked if he'd like anything or my change on the way back and, bless him he asked for a sandwich and something for his dog, so, I get him that and some vitamins, chocolate, juice, fruit and sime wet-ones (kinda figured its hard to feel clean on the street). Morally I am now struggling as what if he spends his money on bad stuff, but then surely its better to know he's, eaten. Am I a sap? What would you do? Im interested....ps, two years ago my life was so out of control it could have become me, so maybe I am a soft touch, but don't hold any punches.

TheNewDodge

I give them food and clothing.if you want to support homeless financially, I recommend donating to a reputable org.

boomboom011

i think you did the right thing.

BeeSunny

What a wonderful person you are, not a sap at all. Have you considered a career as a Social Worker? I am a junior in the Bachelor of Social Work program and know how you feel. I am taking the next step so I can get more involved with the issues we have in America, such as the homeless, domestic violence, women shelters, and the list continues. Be careful of those who really do take advantage of caring people like yourself, they may not be as kind as the one you are describing.

AliceKlaar

I would imagine he's grateful someone's interacting with him and treating him like a human being - good on you. I'd continue to ask if there's anything you can get him because it might be difficult for him to go into shops with his dog and because some people might treat him as scum just because he's unfortunate enough to have ended up on the streets. If he just wants the money, then it's up to him how he spends it - I don't think anyone should dictate what homeless people spend any money they get on; if I was unfortunate enough to end up on the streets, damn right I'd want to get wasted now and again. Keep up the good work xx

luwalmsley1983

Hi all good comments so far, and thank you for comments. Keep them coming.

The new dodge - I do donateI just also wondered what folks do when faced with the reality too :-)

BeeSunny, life hasnt yet decided for me career wise I work in sales and am blessed to do reasonably well hence today I could afford it. My life experience has meant I HAVE thought about career change ...byt am personally in therapy for some of the things you described already, I know how valuable these services are so great to hear you are helping. I am training,as a stret pastir from July with my church to help give back. Fell free to add if you like all :-)

LoreleiWalks

I think you are handling the situation perfectly. I would stick to providing him (and his dog) with food, supplies, etc. when you can afford it. I am also sometimes wary of handing out money for the same reasons you are. It's a tough call. At any rate, bless you for looking after this man. So many homeless are simply ignored or looked at with disgust. You are a lovely example of what true kindness is all about!

luwalmsley1983

I would imagine he's grateful someone's interacting with him and treating him like a human being - good on you. I'd continue to ask if there's anything you can get him because it might be difficult for him to go into shops with his dog and because some people might treat him as scum just because he's unfortunate enough to have ended up on the streets. If he just wants the money, then it's up to him how he spends it - I don't think anyone should dictate what homeless people spend any money they get on; if I was unfortunate enough to end up on the streets, damn right I'd want to get wasted now and again. Keep up the good work xx

Bless you, no I don't judge I actually gave him the change from the £10 I spent. He is literate, he reads a lot, I do think he may not be sober or clean but its got to be horrendous out there. He generally is really polite too. I do wonder if theres anything more that can ve done as I think he must have an education to read at the level he does?

Tanyawhite30

I think you are a amazing person for being so kind and caring

luwalmsley1983

I think you are handling the situation perfectly. I would stick to providing him (and his dog) with food, supplies, etc. when you can afford it. I am also sometimes wary of handing out money for the same reasons you are. It's a tough call. At any rate, bless you for looking after this man. So many homeless are simply ignored or looked at with disgust. You are a lovely example of what true kindness is all about!

The sad reality is it could happen to any of us. I never expected to be divorced and bankrupt by 26...Im 29 and claiming my life back, isn't it just being human to help? Thanks for encouragement...life deals us diffucult hands sometimes, its how we navigate them but if I didnt have the people in my life I did it could have been me. I just hope I did the right thing...x

BeeSunny

Hi all good comments so far, and thank you for comments. Keep them coming.

The new dodge - I do donateI just also wondered what folks do when faced with the reality too :-)

BeeSunny, life hasnt yet decided for me career wise I work in sales and am blessed to do reasonably well hence today I could afford it. My life experience has meant I HAVE thought about career change ...byt am personally in therapy for some of the things you described already, I know how valuable these services are so great to hear you are helping. I am training,as a stret pastir from July with my church to help give back. Fell free to add if you like all :-)

My life wasn't decided until I was in my 40s so enjoy the now and everything you can learn while you are young!

luwalmsley1983

My life wasn't decided until I was in my 40s so enjoy the now and everything you can learn while you are young!
[/quote]

Wow, thats good to hear. Good luck! Just added you :-) I joked with my friend the other week we should be born 40 with wisdom x

luwalmsley1983

i think you did the right thing.

Thank you, great loss by the way x feel freeto add if you wish

christine24t

I would buy him things if you'd like rather than give him money.

luwalmsley1983

I think you are a amazing person for being so kind and caring
[/quot Thank you, I am happy to accept like minded friends. Best of luck on this journey. X

CannibalisticVegetarian

I think you are a amazing person for being so kind and caring

^^^This.

I'm sure he greatly appreciates it. That was such a super-kind act. We could definitely use more people like you in this world, that's for true.

luwalmsley1983

I would buy him things if you'd like rather than give him money.

Thank you. X

luwalmsley1983

I think you are a amazing person for being so kind and caring

^^^This.

I'm sure he greatly appreciates it. That was such a super-kind act. We could definitely use more people like you in this world, that's for true.

Sweething, it's natural really to try to look after others, if we are fortunate enough to have well - it's kind of inhuman not to think of those that don't. He knows if I can't give it's because I genuinely can't afford it - he's never pestered, anyone, not me - or anyone, and he always wishes EVERYBODY regardless of whether they help a really good day. It almost breaks my heart. Today I had a bit more money and my dilemma was whether I just gave it to him or bought him some other stuff - at first I was convinced I did the right thing by buying it ... then I thought... well .. maybe he should have had the cash. What if he needed clothes or something?! Gosh my brain makes me tired. Guess you are all correct - I'm sure he was just OK with having food. I never stay to talk after I donate to him really, I usually chat before, as I think if it were me I'd not want to have to stand and be all grateful etc... so I never found out what he thought as I just wished him well fussed Zara (the doggy) and left.

Loislaine61

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" . . . you are a shining example of the golden rule. You have a compassionate spirit, don't ever lose that. It sounds like you have "been there, done that" and know what it's like to be down on your luck. Congratulations on pulling yourself up. Stay with your church family, it's the best place to be.

I wish you well on your weight loss journey too.

luwalmsley1983

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" . . . you are a shining example of the golden rule. You have a compassionate spirit, don't ever lose that. It sounds like you have "been there, done that" and know what it's like to be down on your luck. Congratulations on pulling yourself up. Stay with your church family, it's the best place to be.

I wish you well on your weight loss journey too.

I have just written you, all the best for your journey x

10acity

I love you for doing this.

Sure, there are professional panhandlers out there. But how do I know the difference? So many people are homeless because they have struggled with mental illness, addiction, abuse, and so many other things I'm so grateful not to have had to deal with. And once you have no address, it's pretty hard to apply for a job. Without a job, how do you afford an address? And the cycle continues...

I do prefer to give things rather than money, because I think that's more immediate and helpful.

"I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me"...

2fit4fat

if i see someone that is homeless i buy them food. i never give money personally but thats just me. i had a time once when a "homeless man" asked for a sandwich and coffee, when my sister and i ran to the store just across the street to get it for him and come back he wasnt there, we looked for about an hour and gave up. to this day i think he was a fake personally. i also help out at the soup kitchen or with my churches donation places instead so i know it goes to people really needing.

there was a thing on the news that showed the average panhandler around here made 200 + dollars a day (plus meals and other things that some pawned later) and they secretly followed some home and many lived in homes, with cars etc. nice ones too so now i just give food and clothing etc :-)

hbrittingham

I think you are an absolutely wonderful, caring person! How wonderful that you care for another human being and are so kind to him. You did the right thing.

luwalmsley1983

I love you for doing this.

Sure, there are professional panhandlers out there. But how do I know the difference? So many people are homeless because they have struggled with mental illness, addiction, abuse, and so many other things I'm so grateful not to have had to deal with. And once you have no address, it's pretty hard to apply for a job. Without a job, how do you afford an address? And the cycle continues...

I do prefer to give things rather than money, because I think that's more immediate and helpful.

"I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me"...

I have just sent you a request. My history tells me just how easy that it is to glide that line.... I am certain nobody chooses his life to be that way. I came very close two years ago to losing my grip - by the Grace of God I it didn't happen -I had a family to take me in.. it is only now I am able to talk about the events that lead me to what happened.

He seems quite articulate though, as I am, intelligent - as am I - I wonder what else can be done to save him?

mikajoanow

It bothers some people to give them money or items and it bothers other people NOT to give them money and items. We need to make ourselves feel better about the world we live in, if that is something that makes you feel happy then do it. Even if the guy is using drugs or booze that doesn't make him any less of a human. So if you feel good doing it, do it.

luwalmsley1983

if i see someone that is homeless i buy them food. i never give money personally but thats just me. i had a time once when a "homeless man" asked for a sandwich and coffee, when my sister and i ran to the store just across the street to get it for him and come back he wasnt there, we looked for about an hour and gave up. to this day i think he was a fake personally. i also help out at the soup kitchen or with my churches donation places instead so i know it goes to people really needing.

there was a thing on the news that showed the average panhandler around here made 200 + dollars a day (plus meals and other things that some pawned later) and they secretly followed some home and many lived in homes, with cars etc. nice ones too so now i just give food and clothing etc :-)

You sound incredible!! I'm training from July with my church to be a street pastor (do you have this in the USA?) to help in evening when people are weary and had too much alcohol and just need support.

He really does look poorly, I truly hope I'm not being repeatedly swindled, and I am a bit scared by the follow them home thing.... Hm I'll speak with my minister tomorrow to get his advice.

Vegetablearian

Id never give money to a homeless person in case they spent it on something stupid like alcohol drugs or expensive coffee but id give somebody a bottle of water and a sandwich no problem

Sox90716

God bless you.

thelovelyLIZ

I'm a big fan of what are sometimes called "mana bags". Plastic bags filled with some socks, water bottle, granola bar, other non-perishable food items and some information about local homeless centers. I've every intention of making then, but I have almost zero expendable income right now, so I haven't really gotten around to it. I've had others make them for me though to hand out, and I just keep them in my car to hand out when I see them. They're a great solution to helping them out if you don't want to give out money.

CuteAndCurvy83

I usually give them money if I have it. I really don't worry about what they spend it on, because it comes from the heart and a place of giving. I know God sees my heart and my intentions, it's really up to that person as to what they do with it. However I did see a really good idea on Pintrest called Blessing Bags, it was a gallon size Zip Lock Bag with juice (you could even do those juice packets that you add to water), deodorant, apple sauce, crackers, cookies,tylenol,tooth paste,ect). You make up a few and keep them in your car, the next time you see a homeless person you can give them the bag, and not have to worry about having money to give them.

hellraisedfire

you're a great person for doing that. the person could just spend the money on drugs, but what if you just truly made a difference in someone's life? AND you took the extra step to make sure he had FOOD! that's awesome of you.