Homeless.. Ethical straw poll here. Thanks x

luwalmsley1983

God bless you.

And He you. I am a Christian and I am very happy to accept anyone (whatever faith or none) to share this journey so feel free to add me.

Sarauk2sf

I understand your dilema - unfortunately many (not all) homeless people are addicts and unless you know the signs, its really hard to tell which one is and which one is not. I think you totally did the right things and gave him food. That's what I do, especially when they have animals. I commend you on caring and treating him as a real person....for so many people, homeless folks do not even register, or they feel contempt for them. Each homeless person has their own story and unless you know their circumstances, people should not judge. Also, as I mentioned, not all homeless people are addicts and not all are 'crazy's'.

inetgirl

Your not a sap! I generally try to help out when I can. There used to be a guy that sat on the corner with his dog and I could tell he was homeless. Really young guy probably in his 30's. I used to eat breakfast at McDonalds and would always get him something. The one day I noticed he split his sandwich and gave half to the dog. I thought that was so sweet. After that, I used to buy him and dog something.

One day he just stopped being there, maybe he was getting chubby like me. All I know is if I was in that situation I would want someone to help me. Without wanting anything in return. If he used money for alcohol or drugs doesn't concern me because everyone has their vice. Mine was food!

luwalmsley1983

I'm a big fan of what are sometimes called "mana bags". Plastic bags filled with some socks, water bottle, granola bar, other non-perishable food items and some information about local homeless centers. I've every intention of making then, but I have almost zero expendable income right now, so I haven't really gotten around to it. I've had others make them for me though to hand out, and I just keep them in my car to hand out when I see them. They're a great solution to helping them out if you don't want to give out money.

That sounds like a great idea. I am going to speak to my Minister tomorrow about this. and see if I can get some funding for the shelters advice... if only that?? better than nothing. I am not rich, if I was my money would be givien to others anyway - I have learned the hard way the world works only by us helping each other - Bless you!!! You may have done a great thing telling me this just now

LATeagno

I try to remember that even if the reason for one's homelessness is a drug or alcohol addiction, it's an illness. It's not something they meant to do to themselves. Yes, they should own it and get past it, but I can't really judge. We all have our own demons; I know I do. Thank goodness they don't involve substance abuse. It's a terrible thing.

I think buying the homeless needed items is more helpful than giving them money. You can support someone without potentially supporting or reinforcing their bad behavior. I think you did a wonderful thing and would like to think that I would have done the same (if I were alone; my husband would never allow it...lol).

luwalmsley1983

I try to remember that even if the reason for one's homelessness is a drug or alcohol addiction, it's an illness. It's not something they meant to do to themselves. Yes, they should own it and get past it, but I can't really judge. We all have our own demons; I know I do. Thank goodness they don't involve substance abuse. It's a terrible thing.

I think buying the homeless needed items is more helpful than giving them money. You can support someone without potentially supporting or reinforcing their bad behavior. I think you did a wonderful thing and would like to think that I would have done the same (if I were alone; my husband would never allow it...lol).

Sarauk2sf

I usually give them money if I have it. I really don't worry about what they spend it on, because it comes from the heart and a place of giving. I know God sees my heart and my intentions, it's really up to that person as to what they do with it. However I did see a really good idea on Pintrest called Blessing Bags, it was a gallon size Zip Lock Bag with juice (you could even do those juice packets that you add to water), deodorant, apple sauce, crackers, cookies,tylenol,tooth paste,ect). You make up a few and keep them in your car, the next time you see a homeless person you can give them the bag, and not have to worry about having money to give them.

I love this idea, It is really hard for many homeless people to keep up their personal hygiene - and something as simple as toothpaste can have a great long-term impact for them. We often forget about these things we take for granted.

I also love it as there are many times you want to give someone some food when you are in the car and you do not have anything available. Great idea.

Fit_and_Healthy

That is wonderful. Makes me happy to know that there are still people out there who care about others. It does make me a bit sad though because I realize I haven't done anything recently to help someone out who is less fortunate than me. Thanks for the reminder! Have a wonderful weekend!

luwalmsley1983

I try to remember that even if the reason for one's homelessness is a drug or alcohol addiction, it's an illness. It's not something they meant to do to themselves. Yes, they should own it and get past it, but I can't really judge. We all have our own demons; I know I do. Thank goodness they don't involve substance abuse. It's a terrible thing.

I think buying the homeless needed items is more helpful than giving them money. You can support someone without potentially supporting or reinforcing their bad behavior. I think you did a wonderful thing and would like to think that I would have done the same (if I were alone; my husband would never allow it...lol).

It is an illness you are so very right, it's progressive, takes it's time..... very few people would happily eat rat poison.

teelynn35

You are awesome. I will buy food, usually not give cash. We offered a lady food once and she said she'd rather have cash. Needless to say we did not help her. The next older gentleman was more than happy w/ food.
I also want to take this time to remind everyone here in the states that the National Letter Carriers Association annual food drive is coming up on May 12th, 2012. Please, please give all you can.. The food we as your mail people collect stays locally and helps so many people out. We chose May to stock the local pantries because school will be done soon, and so many children only get to eat at school w/ the hot lunch program. So fill as many grocery bags as you can afford to and leave by your mail boxes on May 12th, your mail person (or a volunteer) will pick it up and make sure it gets to a local food pantry:) Remember no glass items and please non-perishables. Have a great day!!!

lexidell46

I work with the homeless.I try to set up housing and other services for them. But the problem is we have lost 60% of our low income housing sense the 80's and the need has gotten greater. Also Government and privet funding is being reduced at an alarming rate. with the biggest cuts to mental health. I would contact our politicians and see where they stand on homeless issues. Also their is a lot of places that have no camping laws, that include no sitting or laying down in public paces. like parks.there for making it harder for the homeless to get housing our jobs because they have a criminal record for these two crimes. I can go on more. but I will stand off of my soap box now. p.s. 90% of the homeless are not seen by the public. and before you go handing out money to people look how they are dressed. most of your sign flyers are using the money to buy drugs or alcohol.

Sarauk2sf

I would imagine he's grateful someone's interacting with him and treating him like a human being - good on you. I'd continue to ask if there's anything you can get him because it might be difficult for him to go into shops with his dog and because some people might treat him as scum just because he's unfortunate enough to have ended up on the streets. If he just wants the money, then it's up to him how he spends it - I don't think anyone should dictate what homeless people spend any money they get on; if I was unfortunate enough to end up on the streets, damn right I'd want to get wasted now and again. Keep up the good work xx

Absolutely. While I try to give food, unless the person is obviously a drug user or a drunk I do sometimes give money - as you say, while I do not want to be an enabler, its not up to to me to dictate what they spend their money on

lexidell46

I try to remember that even if the reason for one's homelessness is a drug or alcohol addiction, it's an illness. It's not something they meant to do to themselves. Yes, they should own it and get past it, but I can't really judge. We all have our own demons; I know I do. Thank goodness they don't involve substance abuse. It's a terrible thing.

I think buying the homeless needed items is more helpful than giving them money. You can support someone without potentially supporting or reinforcing their bad behavior. I think you did a wonderful thing and would like to think that I would have done the same (if I were alone; my husband would never allow it...lol).

It is an illness you are so very right, it's progressive, takes it's time..... very few people would happily eat rat poison.

Most of the homeless I work with became drug and alcohol addicted after becoming homeless to numb the pain and shame.

Carl01

I think giving a helping hand in the way of food is a great thing to do and also since you are friendly enough to talk with him maybe try to find out his circumstances so that maybe something could be done to help him out of the situation he is in.

woopidydoo

I hope that dog gets enough to eat. I hope that man eats enough, too.. but I really can't stand to see a hungry animal.

Sarauk2sf

I entered into reading this thread with some amount of nervousness. People are often so judgemental and uncaring about the homeless. I have a close family member who was a drug addict and homeless. There are a lot of contributing factors to his addiction and homelessness. Addiction is a mental illness and none of us can understand the 'why' and how hard it is to give up unless we have also been drug addicts. Being on the streets is definately not conducive to giving up. I am sure we have all been addicted to something and many should understand how hard it is to give things up, even those things that are not actually physically addictive like drugs.

I have to say that I am writing this rather emotionally, The caring and respect you have all shown in your posts has been very touching to me. .

Nikkiray32

I vowed myself years ago... I will give clothes and food to the homeless, but not money.

Kenzietea2

There is nothing wrong with giving him and his dog a meal. You did something nice, and he's probably very grateful.

MarincicS

You are definitely NOT a sap! That was an incredibly beautiful thing to do. And i think it's senseless to worry over what would be done with any money you would give him. Even if he is an alcoholic or drug addict. Many of us here could be considered food addicts but we don't think that is evil . . . only addictions that may lead to homelessness!

A friend recently told me she worried over a similar decision and in the end, she embraced the fact that she did a good thing based on good motives. If the gift was misused, that makes the receiver the sap and the baddie, not you. Your intentions were loving.

And i've never really thought of stopping to ask if anything was needed or of preparing in advance to have packets of food and other necessities to give instead of cash. What a great idea!! I especially like the idea of wipes, toothbrush and toothpaste and tylenol. Surely even the homeless need a pain killer everyone once in a while!

You, along with so many of the responders here, have inspired me!

Thank you.

milphog

I once gave a homeless person money and watched him cross the street, go to a liquor store and return with a bottle of hooch. I never give money anymore. Not all but some of the homeless are there because of addictions (alcohol,gambling,drugs) and giving them money is enabling them. Not to mention scammers who take advantage of those with a good heart. Give them food, clothing or even a gift certificate to a resteraunt. If that is truly what they want/need they will be appreciative ,you will have done a great deed and you won't have to wonder if the money was used inappropriately.
If you really want to give cash then give it to a homeless shelter or homeless organization and you will be assured it is being used for the right reasons.

Kori18

Have you ever striked up a conversation with him? I'm curious to why he is homeless. You did the right thing by asking him what he wanted while you were shopping. I'm sure he appreciated it. It has to be hard on a man to have to "beg" for his next meal.

I heard once in Sociology that like 60% of the homeless have a mental illness

tripitena

A dilemma I pondered for a while.

I used to give money, particularly to those with signs claiming to be a Vet , traveling or with a hound. Then I noticed a lot of these "travelers" must be local as they are alternating where they beg and don't seem to be ever "traveling" anywhere but the next off ramp or Walmart exit the next morning. I also noticed that the "I am a homeless Vet" signs were often weighed down by rocks in the evening and a new face would be holding the same sign the next day claiming to be a Vet. That was when I stopped giving any money period(as the wife, sister, daughter, grand- daughter & great- grand -daughter of Veterans, this made me positively enraged).

Now I carry packets of Tender Vittles type dog food and give those when there is a dog. I have also bought .99 burgers and such & given them to ppl standing at Walmart exits.

Food, but no more money.

klynn81

That was very kind of you!!

I just had this same discussion about the homeless, and giving to them with some of my co-workers the other evening. I grew up in a very small town in the states so while I'm sure there were plenty of homeless people elsewhere, I never seen one until I moved to a much bigger city. I was appalled at how the people here have become so desensitized to the homeless, and the remarks that they make. Even after living here for 7yrs it still breaks my heart when i see these people, some of them true have very bad addictions, passed out on benches or the ground, dirty, unkept. I just can't ever imagine....and I'm sure neither did they. I always remind people...something in their life was missing, something went wrong, because no one grows up thinking 'hey i wanna be homeless some day'.

We have donated several bags of clothing to the homeless shelter here, and the last time we went was at dinner time and I was almost brought to tears when I saw just how many homeless people there were waiting for their meal. Many of them, the same age as my husband and I. They watched as we unloaded garbage bag after garbage bag of clothing, many of them giving many thanks for the clothes.

You don't have to have money to help, there are other ways you can give.

luwalmsley1983

You are awesome. I will buy food, usually not give cash. We offered a lady food once and she said she'd rather have cash. Needless to say we did not help her. The next older gentleman was more than happy w/ food.
I also want to take this time to remind everyone here in the states that the National Letter Carriers Association annual food drive is coming up on May 12th, 2012. Please, please give all you can.. The food we as your mail people collect stays locally and helps so many people out. We chose May to stock the local pantries because school will be done soon, and so many children only get to eat at school w/ the hot lunch program. So fill as many grocery bags as you can afford to and leave by your mail boxes on May 12th, your mail person (or a volunteer) will pick it up and make sure it gets to a local food pantry:) Remember no glass items and please non-perishables. Have a great day!!!

BUMP for this cause guys!!!!

luwalmsley1983

You are awesome. I will buy food, usually not give cash. We offered a lady food once and she said she'd rather have cash. Needless to say we did not help her. The next older gentleman was more than happy w/ food.
I also want to take this time to remind everyone here in the states that the National Letter Carriers Association annual food drive is coming up on May 12th, 2012. Please, please give all you can.. The food we as your mail people collect stays locally and helps so many people out. We chose May to stock the local pantries because school will be done soon, and so many children only get to eat at school w/ the hot lunch program. So fill as many grocery bags as you can afford to and leave by your mail boxes on May 12th, your mail person (or a volunteer) will pick it up and make sure it gets to a local food pantry:) Remember no glass items and please non-perishables. Have a great day!!!

Please add me honey - I'm sure we'd get on great and would like to share your journey but MFP won't let me add as I have sent out a few requests already!!!

luwalmsley1983

I try to remember that even if the reason for one's homelessness is a drug or alcohol addiction, it's an illness. It's not something they meant to do to themselves. Yes, they should own it and get past it, but I can't really judge. We all have our own demons; I know I do. Thank goodness they don't involve substance abuse. It's a terrible thing.

I think buying the homeless needed items is more helpful than giving them money. You can support someone without potentially supporting or reinforcing their bad behavior. I think you did a wonderful thing and would like to think that I would have done the same (if I were alone; my husband would never allow it...lol).

It is an illness you are so very right, it's progressive, takes it's time..... very few people would happily eat rat poison.

Most of the homeless I work with became drug and alcohol addicted after becoming homeless to numb the pain and shame.

I understand that... they are also the most vulnerable. Lets put it this way I am intelligent - but I thought I was loding my MIND at that time I did NOT know there were services to help me. People get trapped, I was lost, with Gosd help I have been saved - I am not special I imagine a lot of people out there feel how I did. WHAT DO WE DO!!!

kbmnurse

I applaud you. Big heart. Yes, it could be anyone of us.

luwalmsley1983

I work with the homeless.I try to set up housing and other services for them. But the problem is we have lost 60% of our low income housing sense the 80's and the need has gotten greater. Also Government and privet funding is being reduced at an alarming rate. with the biggest cuts to mental health. I would contact our politicians and see where they stand on homeless issues. Also their is a lot of places that have no camping laws, that include no sitting or laying down in public paces. like parks.there for making it harder for the homeless to get housing our jobs because they have a criminal record for these two crimes. I can go on more. but I will stand off of my soap box now. p.s. 90% of the homeless are not seen by the public. and before you go handing out money to people look how they are dressed. most of your sign flyers are using the money to buy drugs or alcohol.

Hi there, this guy is polite, he's not dressed BAD but not great ( charity stores?) - I understand that it's a crime to live outside but when the community doesn't give beds for people inside what the heck are they to do. It's madness. I am mentally ill. If you read my posts on this thread and add me you will see I have been very sick, I have avoided this and I am LUCKY. How do we fix this? Its a worldwide issue - and it's NOT right xx

ColetteDuchnowski

I think you did the right thing. He will think of your kindness and maybe not buy that booze or whatever. He knows you care. Just see Jesus in him. You feed the poor, you feed Jesus.

sheepysaccount

I've heard of people asking for money wanting to spend it on food or a hot drink. If you however offer your packed sandwich they throw it in your face and call you stupid. those people can starve for all I care because they want the money for booze or smokes. But the people that will appreciate food are the "good" ones. Like the guy in your story. He was fine with getting food and something for his dog. I think you did a great job.