When your friends eat a LOT of CRAP

Strwbrywn20

I am trying to lose weight. My younger brother is really skinny, can never seem to gain weight. Well he just moved in with me yesterday, bought himself groceries and he came home with bag after bag of nothing but junk! My kids of course are going all googly eyed over everything, but now every time I open my pantry I have to look at peeps and zingers and caramel popcorn. Then my mom brings over fried chicken and cake! Seriously, why can't family understand that I don't want this crap in my house. I understand my brother eats like crap and that's his choice, but dang it I don't want to look at it all. If it's not there in my house, I"m not tempted to eat it!

MrsHutcho9988

Ive always connected to my grandmother through food. Recently, I moved in with them to help her out because my grandpa has had several health issues. She makes the worst food ever. Literally she just ate Ice cream for dinner! My grandfather is 81 and is diabetic, has afib and several other heart issues. She says its just her way to show love but seriously she makes cheeseburgers and fried chicken and home-made pies and treats all day long and feeds my grandpa it. Every pound I lose she makes a cake, to "celebrate" It is so upsetting to me to sit there and say no grandma when she is just trying to be supportive and doesn't understand that the cake and the chicken and cheeseburgers is what got me to where I am today. I think she is slowly starting to grasp at the fact that I am changing my lifestyle and it begins with my attitude towards food and the foods i choose to fuel my body. I made her and my grandpa dinner the other night and they loved it! I have no offered to cook for her as much as possible granted that they eat what I eat so Im hoping that I've finally gotten through to them. It is hard to refuse food, or to feel left out when everyone else is eating junk, but Ive realized that I need to lead my own life, and not focus on other people. If you keep allowing people to feed you and tell you whats right you will never believe you deserve better than what they give you.

hdlb123

Turn it around on them. When they are pushing junk at you and pressuring you to eat it, push a carrot stick that them amd pressure them to eat it. Maybe they'll get annoyed and see where you are coming from.

xoxluvvy

I know how you feel! My friend is extremely skinny and all she will eat is junk food! Fried fast food, tons of pop, like 3 cookies, tonssss of chocolate and so much candy in general. It really bothers me that she knows I'm trying to be healthy and she gives me all this crap about it saying how I shouldn't be on a diet and everything. You'd think your best friend would support you right? I always feel like mines trying to sabotage me.

siobhano_

I have these two friends who are both athletes, and each day they'll eat a butter chicken pie, sour candy and a litre of pespi just for lunch. It grosses me out, but they still stay super fit and in great shape!

Keladry

Ugh it's so hard when you compare what you eat to what your friends eat! All of my friends are super skinny but only one is what I would call 'fit' (ie has muscle). But none of them have any real fat on them! Some eat heaps of junk food and never put on any weight, and others honestly say they just don't get hungry or have cravings so do eat junk but in tiny portions. So I either have to resist eating what they are eating (so hard, my willpower is so bad!) or feel like a fatty when I do indulge and finish my risotto when they leave most of theirs because they're too full.
Sometimes I wish I had a friend who ate like me and the same attitude to food as me so we could encourage each other, but at least none of my friends push junk food on me, it sounds like some of you have not so supportive friends!

maggiethenut

when i am weak, i give into peer pressure... i get it a lot. At work, people feel the need to drop candy that i love off at my desk and think they are making me happy... when i just want to bite the heads off the gummi bears and spit them back at them... ok, not really... but it's super difficult to refuse and not seem like a bummer. I finally just realized that these people are genuinely nice and they think they are my friends...and they are... so i have told them all the truth... that it may seem like a nice gesture to bring me junk and want to eat along with me... but it's really hard for me, and if they want to make me smile... how about just coming by to say hello. I now have one co-worker that brings me ice water...it started out as a joke, but i secretly LOVE it.

singitella

I just tell them that since I cut certain foods out of my diet, those foods make me feel sick when I eat them now. I joke that when I started eating veggies, they made me feel sick, but I got used to it. Your friends may want you to pig out with them, but they are less likely to pressure you if it actually hurts to eat junk. I just say, "I'm not judging what you're eating, I just can't eat [insert crap food here] anymore without feeling really sick. I'm sure you don't want me to feel bad." If they can try to guilt you into eating trash, you can guilt them into minding their own business.

I had a burger from Sonic (no bun) after not eating fast food for a month or so and I was immediately ill. Made me not want to ever go back! Salty food has a big effect on me when I eat it now too, since I eat less of it now. It burns my tongue and I bloat up- rings won't come off kind of puffy! Had ice cream after two months of no sugar- immediate stomach cramps. Our bodies just adjust to whatever kind of crazy stuff we put into them.

Good luck! Don't let them sabotage your effort!

Zichu

I love sweets, sometimes I can control my urges and before I actually eat them. I get the bag of what I think I want to eat and question myself. 70% of the time those urges go away and I do feel I come out stronger in the end. Just because your stomach is saying to eat them doesn't mean you have actually made the final decision to eat whatever it is in your mind.

Because I still live at home, I have two younger siblings and it's a pain when they are scoffing on junk food or when my parents why sweets and junk, it's in the draw and it can be tempting. I know I wouldn't eat it if it wasn't there. If I were to do my own shopping I would pick foods that I know I am going to eat and I wouldn't pick up sweets, cakes, chocolate, etc.

Sadly, I can't do that because not everyone wants to eat the foods I want to eat lol. Plus my Nan doesn't make it any better by going to Greggs, buys cakes, sausage rolls, etc. She doesn't buy me anything because she knows I don't want it.

munchkinhugs

Maybe they're trying to keep you where you are by shoving your face full of food?

Or, alternatively, maybe they're just pretending to eat a lot (/saying they eat heaps) whenever you're around ... I have friends like that. It's annoying as.

leenites

What about if your friends happen to be your roommates and like to have communal dinner together? What happens if the same people who eat greasy/oily/salty food always cook such dinner and you have no choice but to eat them? How can you keep rejecting their offer when they ask, "Joining us for dinner at the dinner table later?"

AthenaErr

You just say no. If they keep guilting you try having a conversation with them one on one and saying, 'I don't mind what you eat but I dont want to eat it with you'. If they keep guilting you - get new friends.

kayleesays

I understand. Just last week an overweight friend of mine literally put Cheetos in my mouth while I was talking. I was just like, "uh... okay, I'll eat this one, but I don't really like these anymore." Awkward.

Mammoth1234

We all have friends like this... Literally just finished my blog about it! http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Mammoth1234/view/mammoth-vs-wine-238319

Which is about my utter fail at attempting to resist delicious fatty food. So I'm really not one to give advice.

I don't think you (well, either of us really) need to be aggressive or confrontational about it, just say from the outset, "I'm trying to eat healthy atm, I know you think I'm being daft, but please don't tempt me with all your icecream and everything! I'm not as thin as you!" Keep it jokey but hopefully they'll get the hint.

However I have no willpower, so I'm considering making up a disease... Like SAYING I have diabetes when I don't (tempting fate much?) so then they'll feel actively guilty eating junk food around me.

On reflection that is a bit of an insane step to take, but it might be worth it...

Hambone23

Throw 'em under a bus.

ahipsher

Sounds like my roommate. d:

It *has* caught up with her belly, though. It always does!

I just try to never come back hungry and make sure that I always have my own food in the fridge (with my name on it, of course).

ahipsher

I also have this problem with my boyfriend's family.

His mother gets really offended if I only take a very small portion/don't finish everything on my plate/or if I go with, "I already ate, I'm not that hungry!"
But, y'know, if you didn't cook with so much salt and butter, I might eat more of it. It's just very awkward. She's very, very overweight, and she perceives it as a judgement of her cooking/lifestyle/her personally.

But really it's just me looking out for my waistline (and heart!).

rml_16

You can't just say I don't like that and leave it? They're trying to force you to eat food you don't even like?

Schraudt814

they might not be overweight but are they healthy? It does not sound like proper nutrition AT ALL!!! Since they try to pressure you so much, pressure them a little into keeping their own food diaries so they can see for themselves how many calories, fats, & sodium they are putting into their bodies. I bet they would be shocked!

That's a really good point...maybe they need a lil help realizing what they're actually eating!! Just because they aren't gaining weight doesnt mean they aren't causing other issues with that crap :noway:

leenites

I also have this problem with my boyfriend's family.

His mother gets really offended if I only take a very small portion/don't finish everything on my plate/or if I go with, "I already ate, I'm not that hungry!"
But, y'know, if you didn't cook with so much salt and butter, I might eat more of it. It's just very awkward. She's very, very overweight, and she perceives it as a judgement of her cooking/lifestyle/her personally.

But really it's just me looking out for my waistline (and heart!).

Oh my! We are in the same boat then. It's so hard to tell my roommate that his cooking is actually unhealthy. He kept claiming, "I think our meal in this house is quite healthy. We have veggies, fruits, meats, and even brown rice." O.o Yeah .... but all those salt and oil? When I commented on how much oil he put in the frying pan, he went, "Nah ... it's not that much at all." I could TASTE the sodium in my mouth that my lips dried. O.o How's that "healthy"?

If I do not eat with them, I'm seen as an anti-social-person-refusing-to-fellowship-with-roommate. If I eat, my body get all screwed up and all my workout goes to drain. O.o

korsicash

My friends don't do this to me, they know the struggle I have been through. I also have a fat picture stored into my phone and when I am asked why I show them and tell them to back off. I had to pull it out a lot at christmas. It is actually my family who tells me I am good enough so eat what I want and do what I want now that I have lost the weight.

txbutterfly69

Some people just don't struggle with their weight (high metabolism). They eat horrible and still remain skinny! My husband is like that. When I eat like him, I gain it overnight, not kidding!

skinnylove00

You can't just say I don't like that and leave it? They're trying to force you to eat food you don't even like?

if i just said `i dont like that` then i wouldnt have had to write out this thread hahaha honestly they are badgers and i cant be around them without them offering chips/cookie/key lime pie to me even though ive said countless times

I DONT EAT THATTTTTTTT

Blueyz82

simply tell them NO and explain to them that they can eat what ever they want, but you don't want to eat that stuff, so please stop trying to get me to eat it.

If they don't listen, you may need to distance yourself from them...friends don't put pressure on you.

Good luck!

mdj1501

Here is what typical meals for three of my friends looks like: An entire sleeve of Lorna Doone shortbread cookies, 5 slices of triple pepperoni buffaque (buffalo and bbq) chicken pizza from dominoes, and an ENTIRE FAMILY-SIZED BAG OF FUNYUNS (dinner)

A roll of uncooked cookie dough ice cream, a family-sized bag of cheetos, two cannolis, and two huge st. pattys day cupcakes WITH a shamrock shake (that was just dessert...after steak and potatoes)

My other friend even deep fried a big mac, wrapped it in bacon, and *gag* ate the entire thing. Oh, and heres the kicker: NONE OF THEM ARE OVERWEIGHT WHATSOEVER. :noway:

I love my friends so much, but it makes me uncomfortable when I am eating a salad and they are eating junk. The problem is that they pressure me to eat with them a LOT, saying things like ~just try it, whats it going to do to you~. Believe me, I LOVE TO EAT, but eating junky does not appeal to me. I just dont LIKE eating uncooked cookie dough but they try to guilt me into eating it (you go to the gym everyday, you always eat healthy, etc.). Its gotten to the point where I made up fake food allergies just so they could stop shoving their cheesecake down my throat.

I know a little junk cant hurt, I just hate the way it makes me feel. I dont know what to tell them anymore, eating out with them is always uncomfortable because they always make me feel GUILTY for eating healthy. What can I say to them to make them just back off?!?!:explode:

I have found the best response to be that "Oh.. it looks good and I wish I could but my stomach has been on strike and when I eat like that I usually spend the rest of the night on the toilet..... sure wish I could, but I better not"

rml_16

You can't just say I don't like that and leave it? They're trying to force you to eat food you don't even like?

if i just said `i dont like that` then i wouldnt have had to write out this thread hahaha honestly they are badgers and i cant be around them without them offering chips/cookie/key lime pie to me even though ive said countless times

I DONT EAT THATTTTTTTT

"I don't eat that" is not the same as "I don't like that."

I don't like mushrooms. When I tell people I don't like mushrooms, they don't try to convince me to eat them. I never say, "I don't eat mushrooms."

kaetra

Less is more when dealing with someone else's behavior. Don't explain or give long treatises on your likes and dislikes or diet. Just say, "nah" or "no thanks". They will ask again....smile and shake the head. Redirect by changing the subject, if possible.

The thing is, resistance sparks more resistance. There are no magic words. So "no thanks" is best. Although folks certainly make different food choices....your friend *knows* a family size bag of funyins is bad! So there is no "good" answer...anything you say will make her defensive because she already feels a little guilty. (because really, when I am truly enjoying myself without guilt? I don't *want* you to share it. More for me! )

If you refuse to engage, consistently, then over time, she'll stop asking. Trust me.

This is very good advice I think.

viviennemayer

You just need to be honest with them. Let them know how hard you have to work to maintain a good and healthy weight. That the whole process is difficult and that they aren't being good supportive friends. Let them know that the junk food actually makes your body sick and just plain uncomfortable. Sounds like they feel guilty that they're junking out while your eating healthy and it's easier for them to get you to try something bad than it is for them to try something healthy that both of you know they would actually like.

GoldspursX3

My other friend even deep fried a big mac, wrapped it in bacon, and *gag* ate the entire thing.

Is it wrong that I want to try this now?

cyndispot

They don't need to know (nor do they care why you aren't eating the crap) so here's a great response.

No - Thank you for asking though (period).

And repeat as necessary.

I don't try to defend what I do, make it seem okay to them for some reason. I figure reasoning with them is like reasoning with a drunk - just ain't gonna happen.