I want to have another baby but.....

Options
245

Replies

  • girlwapp
    girlwapp Posts: 136 Member
    Options
    Have you ever thought of adoption? You wouldn't gain weight, would be able to have the surgery and still be able to shower a child with love.

    ^ should definitely be in consideration.
  • Fat_2_Fit_Mommy
    Fat_2_Fit_Mommy Posts: 569 Member
    Options
    I think I agree with every one on here. You have some really good advices that's been giving. I think you should go ahead for another one and since your Dr says its ok than go for it then have the surgery.
  • mom22qties
    mom22qties Posts: 47
    Options
    I had Adenomyosis- it was horrible!! I am 40 (in 4 days) and after my son was born I noticed more problems. Horrific pain daily and I had 17 cysts inside my uterus. I had absolutely no room in there for anymore babies. So last year I had a radical hysterectomy with removal of everything including my cervix (also had cervical cancer.) I love my children (2 ages 9 and 4) but under no circumstances would I put my body through more. I always wanted 4 but the Lord blessed me with being able to have 2 and I am more than happy with that. No regrets. Feel free to add me if you want to chat some more and I can offer help for after the hysterectomy also.
  • Feathil
    Feathil Posts: 163 Member
    Options
    Is surrogacy a common thing? Would that be an option? Implant your eggs and go with the surgery straight away, two birds with one stone if you could.
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
    Options
    How about just enjoying the FOUR kids you have now...

    I agree with this in that if there was a reason you wanted to wait in the first place, are you really ready for that last child to come now? I don't think you should torture yourself by waiting for the sake of waiting, but you're discussing this kid like you're not sure if you want to buy a smaller dress now while it's on sale, or later when you fit in it.

    All I'm saying is don't impulsively do something that might not be a good choice later. That's never a good plan in my opinion.

    I just don't understand why she wants another kid if she already has 4.

    That's her choice if her family can give it what it needs, but rushing into it because of current circumstances might not be worth it if she's not completely ready. That's all I'm saying.
  • KristenStone
    KristenStone Posts: 106 Member
    Options
    First off-terribly sorry you are having to deal with this condition-sounds terrible!!!

    Here is my opinion:

    If you are absolutely sure you want to have another baby-go for it now! Here are my reasons for saying this. One, you already have young children-and waiting another 2 years you will just put a larger gap in between the ages. If your youngest are 2-sounds like now is a good time! Also, who would want to live with that terrible bleeding for 2 more years? And I don't know how old you are-and it doesn't matter because in general, you will be two years older-which will subsequently lead to a lower metabolism and you more tired-no matter how slight. Also, you have your head in the game right now! You know how important it is to be healthy and lose weight-which although it would difficult you CAN be healthy and still continue your journey while you are pregnant. Whatever you choose-good luck to you girl! :)
  • MomofAnt
    MomofAnt Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    How about just enjoying the FOUR kids you have now...

    I agree with this in that if there was a reason you wanted to wait in the first place, are you really ready for that last child to come now? I don't think you should torture yourself by waiting for the sake of waiting, but you're discussing this kid like you're not sure if you want to buy a smaller dress now while it's on sale, or later when you fit in it.

    All I'm saying is don't impulsively do something that might not be a good choice later. That's never a good plan in my opinion.

    I just don't understand why she wants another kid if she already has 4.

    Because some of us want large families. :) I only have one right now, and my husband and I are facing infertility issues (which could be solved by losing weight according to my doctor - thus my decision for a change of lifestyle). It's one thing to make the choice to cap our family at a certain number of children, whether it is one, two, three, four or more. It's a whole different ballgame to be told that you CAN'T have any more kids. I think what she's mostly worried about is regretting the decision to not have another child while she still can. At least that's how I interpreted it.

    To the original poster - I think there are a lot of good suggestions thus far. I, personally, would talk to the doctor first. If there's no problem with you having another child now, go for it. If there could be major complications, then you would need to weigh (no pun intended) the pros and cons to make a decision. If it will be dangerous to you or the baby, I would suggest adoption or surrogacy, as some other people suggested. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best!
  • Schnuddelbuddel
    Schnuddelbuddel Posts: 472 Member
    Options
    I understand it's her choice, and she does have free will. I am just wondering what the motivation behind having kids is for her, she's young, already has 4. Some people are grateful to have 1.

    Everybody has different motivations. Some people never want kids. Others feel their life isn't complete before they've a certain number. Either way, her motives to have another child shouldn't concern us. And you may never understand them even if she did explain why.
  • Jarvis95
    Jarvis95 Posts: 157 Member
    Options
    Hey, i'm not a doctor, but i'm doing a master's in health science.

    I actually did a project about adenomyosis for grad school. There's a very small amount of research into the use of an IUD such as mirena to treat adenomyosis, you could ask your doctor about this as another option.
  • DominiqueSmall
    DominiqueSmall Posts: 495 Member
    Options
    I agree. Having another baby doesn't have to derail your weight. Eat a clean diet, exercise as much as you can, and get back on track as soon as you can. If you did this once, you have the determination and character to do it twice.

    I'm so sorry about your diagnosis. That has to be very difficult news.
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    Options
    Personally I think your last consideration should be weightloss here. Is having another baby in this condition even safe? How painful will that 9 months be with the condition + pregnancy? I really think this is far more a question to discuss with your doctor for health and your husband for lifestyle than on the boards where we all have different experiences that may have nothing whatsoever to do with what's best for you. If you really do feel you want/need *one* more child, I personally would consider discussing with your husband why you feel that way and if it's worth risking your health over.
  • briar_rose
    briar_rose Posts: 149 Member
    Options
    I'm going to start trying for #2 soon and in a way I'm sad because I am so close to my goal weight but we are ready to expand our family and I am confident that I will continue to eat healthy and exercise throughout my pregnancy and will be able to lose the rest of the weight after since I now have the tools/knowledge.

    If you are certain that you want to expand your family then I would have another baby now (and obviously a variety of other factors need to be taken into consideration such as finances) rather than continue to be in pain.
  • Aphrodite3010
    Aphrodite3010 Posts: 65 Member
    Options
    I think if you're gonna do it, do it now. I'm pregnant with my second and found out I was pregnant after starting my weight loss journey. Ive continued eating healthy and being more active and have actually lost 22 lbs while pregnant. It can be done, you're not dieting persay, you're just eating healthier and being more active and treating your body and baby better. My OB said someone who weighed as much as I do (265 at the beginning of this pregnancy) can safely lose weight during pregnancy or simply maintain and it would be better for both mother and baby. You can do this during pregnancy and still be healthy. Go for it!
  • JBott84
    JBott84 Posts: 268 Member
    Options
    (BUZZKILL) This world is over populated....you have 4 healthy children. You should feel blessed. There are people out there who cannot have children. There are children starving in orphanages everywhere...I am sorry but I do not support over active procreation just for the sake of doing so...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    I have endometriosis, but I did not contract until after my family was complete. I can relate to your symptoms. Only a full hysterectomy will correct my condition though and at my age, I am not ready to give up estrogen. I could not even take estrogen supplements as it is the estrogen that causes the issue for endometriosis.

    As for the baby, how badly do you want that 5th child? Is it bad enough to deal with 2 more years of pain? Is it bad enough to move your plans up now? No one can really tell you what decision to make in that regard. I hope it works out well for you and your whole family. I do empathize with your symptoms. For me, I have decided just to wait until my normal menopause arrives. I might have a laproscopy later on, but for now, exercise really seems to help me manage my symptoms. I don't know much about your disorder, but if it is like endometriosis, then maybe exercise can help you manage symptoms as well.

    Good luck.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    I think if you're gonna do it, do it now. I'm pregnant with my second and found out I was pregnant after starting my weight loss journey. Ive continued eating healthy and being more active and have actually lost 22 lbs while pregnant. It can be done, you're not dieting persay, you're just eating healthier and being more active and treating your body and baby better. My OB said someone who weighed as much as I do (265 at the beginning of this pregnancy) can safely lose weight during pregnancy or simply maintain and it would be better for both mother and baby. You can do this during pregnancy and still be healthy. Go for it!

    Also this.

    My mother lost 100 lbs during her pregnancy with me. She started before my conception, during pregnancy, and by the time she dropped the water weight from the pregnancy and came home from the hospital, she was down by 100 lbs. The doctor was not even concerned about her rapid weight loss as long as she did not exceed 4 lbs a week.
  • Nikki206
    Nikki206 Posts: 69
    Options
    I've never heard it but I think if you want another child, you should do it now! You can keep up healthy habits during pregnancy, and then the weight will be easier to lose after you deliver.

    THIS! If you maintain your healthy eating and maybe sign up for an exercise class that works with pregnant women so you make sure you are being safe with your exercises. Also if it is similar to endometriosis, then your pain will obviously subside WITH the pregnancy and that is a plus. You do have to think though, how are you going to care for 5 little ones after having a hysterectomy. Hopefully you have a large and helpful family! Good luck! :smile:
  • mhsrnmz
    mhsrnmz Posts: 86 Member
    Options
    Hey, i'm not a doctor, but i'm doing a master's in health science.

    I actually did a project about adenomyosis for grad school. There's a very small amount of research into the use of an IUD such as mirena to treat adenomyosis, you could ask your doctor about this as another option.
    I second considering this option. Ask your physician. There are also benefits to both you and baby when pregnancy is started at a more healthy weight, so Mirena might be a good option, especially since you were planning to wait a couple of more years.
  • JBott84
    JBott84 Posts: 268 Member
    Options
    (BUZZKILL) This world is over populated....you have 4 healthy children. You should feel blessed. There are people out there who cannot have children. There are children starving in orphanages everywhere...I am sorry but I do not support over active procreation just for the sake of doing so...

    ha you said it, not me. :drinker:



    ^ lol - ya your welcome....I'm sure I'l get a *kitten* storm of "you're mean & blah blah...) but I don't care.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Options
    (BUZZKILL) This world is over populated....you have 4 healthy children. You should feel blessed. There are people out there who cannot have children. There are children starving in orphanages everywhere...I am sorry but I do not support over active procreation just for the sake of doing so...
    ha you said it, not me. :drinker:
    ^ lol - ya your welcome....I'm sure I'l get a *kitten* storm of "you're mean & blah blah...) but I don't care.
    Then before that happens, let me just say I could not agree more.

Categories