Would you date someone whose religion is different than your
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No. I could never date someone who is religious. Anything less than a 3 digit IQ is completely unappealing to me.
I don't get why this keeps getting brought up?0 -
No. I could never date someone who is religious. Anything less than a 3 digit IQ is completely unappealing to me.
I hope there is a sarcastic tone here that I couldn't find otherwise...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Informal_fallacy0 -
As someone who has lived a Catholic-Atheist marriage, I would recommend that you marry someone who shares your own beliefs. Life gets you to go deeper, and if you can do so as a couple, you will be able to weather the tough times.
The beliefs that you raise your kids to have is really important. And if you are a woman, your husband will influence your children more than you will ever be able to. There are studies that bear this out. When it comes to discipline, you have to have the same values as to what is right and wrong, and if your spouse doesn't feel the way you do, the kids get the message pretty fast.
The one thing that I miss the most (and we have been married 27 years), is being able to pray together. I've been really impressed by JPII's Theology of the Body, and I would love to live this ideal with my husband. But that is not to be.
For the question of your x, I would want to know if he is interested in converting to your faith. Is he willing to worship with you? To go to Church with you? If he is, I would encourage him along this path. Once you are family, your lives will revolve around the parish, and if he is a full participant, you will be able to share so much more, and so much more deeply.0 -
No. I could never date someone who is religious. Anything less than a 3 digit IQ is completely unappealing to me.
If you are serious about the IQ business, you should do some actual research to see if that holds out. Otherwise you might be seriously limiting your pool of potential suitors. Just saying...0 -
I would like to comment that I am saddened by all of the "religious people are stupid and intolerant" type comments. Isn't that a bit of pot calling the kettle black? That seems a bit stupid and intolerant to me.
My husband, in training to be a Pastor, getting his Master's degree in divinity... has his bachelor's degree in Aerospace Engineering. That is math/science/logic at it's finest, but he still believes in God. Favorite thing I've heard him say is "Sometimes science just can't explain science." As for intolerance, he seems to be more tolerant of different religions, beliefs, sexualities, races, etc than some people in those specific groups that 'hate' Christians because of what some talking head faux-preachers on the television said.
I don't use myself as an example, though I suppose I could. I was raised in a very culturally diverse area and the general rule of thumb was 'anything goes'... you were you, and that was good enough. I still feel that way and flat out told my husband our relationship was not going to work if he was not equally accepting of others who are different than he is, because I had those exact same "Christians are judgmental, intolerant idiots" outlook, until I actually got to be around some. He looked at me like I was an idiot myself for suggesting that he might not be accepting of others. We're big advocates of "judge not" around here.
To the OP... I am sorry your question generated a lot of hatred, name calling, and childishness. I hope you find a way to work things out with your ex that is satisfactory to you. It can work, if you are on different pages in regards to faith (it has so far for many I've seen - and for me personally!), as long as you are both a little open minded and willing to talk about it.0 -
The beliefs that you raise your kids to have is really important. And if you are a woman, your husband will influence your children more than you will ever be able to. There are studies that bear this out. When it comes to discipline, you have to have the same values as to what is right and wrong, and if your spouse doesn't feel the way you do, the kids get the message pretty fast.
Can you please post cites for these studies, I would love to read them.0 -
No. I could never date someone who is religious. Anything less than a 3 digit IQ is completely unappealing to me.
Care to expand on what you mean? Surely you must be joking.0 -
No. I could never date someone who is religious. Anything less than a 3 digit IQ is completely unappealing to me.
It is heartening to see Part 2 of this thread start off on such a positive note of tolerance and inclusion. I was worried that it would be more name-calling and bashing of one side by the other.0 -
I would like to comment that I saddened by all of the "religious people are stupid and intolerant" type comments. Isn't that a bit of pot calling the kettle black? That seems a bit stupid and intolerant to me.
My husband, in training to be a Pastor, getting his Master's degree in divinity... has his bachelor's degree in Aerospace Engineering. That is math/science/logic at it's finest, but he still believes in God. Favorite thing I've heard him say is "Sometimes science just can't explain science." As for intolerance, he seems to be more tolerant of different religions, beliefs, sexualities, races, etc than some people in those specific groups that 'hate' Christians because of what some talking head faux-preachers on the television said.
I don't use myself as an example, though I suppose I could. I was raised in a very culturally diverse area and the general rule of thumb was 'anything goes'... you were you, and that was good enough. I still feel that way and flat out told my husband our relationship was not going to work if he was not equally accepting of others who are different than he is, because I had those exact same "Christians are judgmental, intolerant idiots" outlook, until I actually got to be around some. He looked at me like I was an idiot myself for suggesting that he might not be accepting of others. We're big advocates of "judge not" around here.
To the OP... I am sorry your question generated a lot of hatred, name calling, and childishness. I hope you find a way to work things out with your ex that is satisfactory to you. It can work, if you are on different pages in regards to faith (it has so far for many I've seen - and for me personally!), as long as you are both a little open minded and willing to talk about it.
I totally agree... and this coming from a husband who graduated from MIT with duel engineering degrees, who is also a Christian... and myself as an Earth Scientist and a Christian... And we try to live the same "judge not" mentality around here as well. It saddens me when people demand tolerance and respect are also the same people who refuse to give it... :frown:0 -
No. I could never date someone who is religious. Anything less than a 3 digit IQ is completely unappealing to me.
If you knew much about IQ testing, you would be familiar with all of the criticisms of it. More than a casual glance at those might suggest that IQ is a poor criterion for almost anything, especially dating. Also, exactly how do you determine the IQ of potential dates? Do you ask them to self-report, or are you qualified to give an IQ test yourself? If you administer them yourself, do you give it on the first date, or make them show up for hours of testing before you agree to a first date?
I never dated anyone I did not find to be intellectually stimulating (not counting a few first dates), but I would not have phrased this in terms of either IQ or religiosity.
All of that said, if you plan to have children, I would imagine things are simplified considerably if you and your spouse are in agreement on certain issues.0 -
lololololol0
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my husband and i feel basically the same about religion. it does not appeal to us in the least. his mother is a devout christian and was so sad we didnt get married in her church. (we got married on an aircraft carrier,and a friend of ours was the officiant) it was actually hard for her because a lot of people from her church were very judgmental about our choice of venue.
she tried to talk my husband into being more religious, she gave me a bible for christmas, she has tried her hardest to get us to be christian, and we just keep disappointing her.
i wouldnt change anything that we did, but it was hard trying to make her ok with our choices. if my husband had caved to her desires i would not have married him.
you can have an open mind, you can make compromises. it comes down to what are you willing to live with. i would not want to live a religiously structured life.
**i have no problem with people who have religion. i think a lot of people of faith do wonderful things. my MIL works with her church getting donations of food and clothes and then they take in single mothers and give them clothes and employment counciling.. its a really wonderful thing she does and i respect that kind of religious person. **0 -
I have known and been with my husband since I was 16 and he was 19. Dated and married - total about 24 years.
I am a christian and he is a muslim. Our children are christians. My husband is also not a very fanatic muslim , we both believe in our own faith, in one GOD and never each other to convert. He enjoys going to church once in a while with us and I also go to the muslim gatherings at times. It works for us.. for our family. Half of my families/relatives are muslims as well. the other half are christians, catholic and eposcapalians. We enjoy family time together and truly my best friend.
I think it just depends on the person and the couple.0 -
I saw some posts in the old thread about the bible being fact. I was Baptized Catholic went to Catholic school my whole life and did everything Catholics are suppose to. I started to question certain things and began reading books written by religious scholars that actually give a different viewpoint on how "factual" the bible is. Aside from the issue of simply recording his years teaching there are so many different Christian beliefs early-on that what ended-up getting recorded was so biased and slanted to the biases of individual groups. Some Catholics believed Christ was 100% divine, others simply a man, some both divine and man, some believed he was a 2nd god, and the list goes on.
In-short, the bible is so ravaged with errors due nothing getting written for several years (2 to 3 centuries in most cases) after Christ's death (Chinese telephone anybody?), to half-literate scribes making recording errors in the early centuries, to early Christian leaders having their own bias and personal agendas and changing passages to their own liking, to misinterpretations of Greek manuscripts (e.g. Lord versus God - not the same thing but written similarly in Greek) that there is no way anybody can claim the writing as true fact. There is no way to honestly believe what was is written in the New Testament is truly what Christ said. The errors are indeed FACT and there are books published that discuss this. One of the authors I very surprised to see was Evangelical, so he didn't let his personal beliefs bias his research.
Now, I'm not against religion; I think it's great to find something to believe in and have a philosophy to live one's life by. But to state the Bible as fact and worse yet quote Bible verses as some kind of law is a mistake. And to use this information to discriminate against people of different faith is wrong too. If you find somebody in-life that you click with enjoy that person and embrace the relationship and accept each other's difference in belief; marriage is hard enough without holding one to certain religious expectations too.0 -
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Lots of interesting discussion so I'm just here to tag the thread so I can keep watching it.0 -
NO. what would we do with our children???!0
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No. I could never date someone who is religious. Anything less than a 3 digit IQ is completely unappealing to me.
That's interesting... as I am a Christian and have a 143 IQ. I suggest you research a little further - if indeed this statement is serious.0 -
I would like to comment that I saddened by all of the "religious people are stupid and intolerant" type comments. Isn't that a bit of pot calling the kettle black? That seems a bit stupid and intolerant to me.
My husband, in training to be a Pastor, getting his Master's degree in divinity... has his bachelor's degree in Aerospace Engineering. That is math/science/logic at it's finest, but he still believes in God. Favorite thing I've heard him say is "Sometimes science just can't explain science." As for intolerance, he seems to be more tolerant of different religions, beliefs, sexualities, races, etc than some people in those specific groups that 'hate' Christians because of what some talking head faux-preachers on the television said.
I don't use myself as an example, though I suppose I could. I was raised in a very culturally diverse area and the general rule of thumb was 'anything goes'... you were you, and that was good enough. I still feel that way and flat out told my husband our relationship was not going to work if he was not equally accepting of others who are different than he is, because I had those exact same "Christians are judgmental, intolerant idiots" outlook, until I actually got to be around some. He looked at me like I was an idiot myself for suggesting that he might not be accepting of others. We're big advocates of "judge not" around here.
To the OP... I am sorry your question generated a lot of hatred, name calling, and childishness. I hope you find a way to work things out with your ex that is satisfactory to you. It can work, if you are on different pages in regards to faith (it has so far for many I've seen - and for me personally!), as long as you are both a little open minded and willing to talk about it.
AMEN!0 -
I can't keep up with all the responses anymore, and I don't care to read all the religious/non-religious-debate-rubbish, so if you have a caring, non-judgmental response that actually addresses my OP, send me a message!
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Interesting. Religion is rarely a factor in my dating choices. Technically my faith IS different from my BF's faith. I practice more than he does.
Now, a religious nutcase, no matter what variety, irks me to no end. I've found my faith and don't wish to be converted (again)!0
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