Fed up with having my sis tell me to STOP working out!!

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DorisR184
DorisR184 Posts: 471 Member
in Motivation and Support
I really need to vent, so I'm apologizing in advance for my grammatical errors...

I'm so DONE with having my sis tell me I need to give it a rest and stop working out already. In the beginning, she was very supportive, always saying I'm doing a great job but more and more it's been nothing but negativity from her. I'm by no means starving myself nor do I look emaciated, so WHY is she doing this? I've explained on numerous occasions to her that my focus is not my weight on the scale but more my body shape (inch loss) and my health! I'm also focused on a having a nice tummy, and of course I know there is no such thing as spot reduction, so I continue to cardio & lifting because that's my goal... So NO, I'M NOT DONE!!

But she WON'T stop! Just yesterday, I was in my kitchen (my back was to her) and she says... Wow you're waist is so tiny (then she puts her hands on my waist) and says, I can feel your ribs... If someone were to give you a bodyshot, (as in PUNCH me in the ribs!!) you would pass out!... SERIOUSLY, who even thinks that?! Immediately, I turned around and said... "I'm proud of having a small waist now! I've worked HARD for this change in my body! Don't you remember me at 205lbs?" ... She then, touches my chin and says, aww look at your face (with this sad puppy look) :explode: ... By this point, I'm angry but trying to keep my composure.. So, I simply said, I'm not DYING woman! And I walked out... I don't understand, she's not overweight, but she is what many might call skinnyfat (IMO it's because she drinks ALOT)... she used to tell me she wanted to join me in my workouts, but now she calls me obsessed! I just don't get it!

We don't see eachother that often, but lately everytime we do, she's ALWAYS being negative. And honestly, the ONLY time she does compliment me, is when she's had ALOT to drink!

It feels really good to let this out and to whoever took the time to read this, thanks for "listening" I feel MUCH better! :flowerforyou:
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Replies

  • swedishwillow
    swedishwillow Posts: 89 Member
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    *hugs
  • TIDDYBEAR
    TIDDYBEAR Posts: 63 Member
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    Well, its a GOOD thing that you don't see her that much! Just TRY to ignore her negative comments. Maybe if she sees that she doesn't rile you up, she will just shut up. You need to surround yourself with more supportive people. *I* am jealous of your 74 pound weight loss. I am at a friggin platou now and am wondering if I will ever get to the 50lb weight loss, lol.

    Jan
  • migoi357
    migoi357 Posts: 173 Member
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    There are probably all sorts of pop psychology reasons we could collectively come up with for your sister's actions/words. In the final analysis though...it doesn't matter. You've done an wonderful job at achieving YOUR goals. Woot!

    Just smile, nod, and say, "Thank you for the input." then move on to another subject. Nothing she can say will change the fact that you're looking great, you're feeling great, and you're doing what is best for you. As I tell my students, just think of someone's negative words like a magpie chattering at the window...a bit annoying but it doesn't change YOU.

    You're doing great..:bigsmile:
  • alexa_image
    alexa_image Posts: 387 Member
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    Doris,
    All I can said is "Hater"
    Of course she was supportive when you were big, because people don't think you can reach your goals,
    Once you're there, they try to discourage you not to continue just because you look fabulous
    You ROCK girl. Don't let that bother you, This is a lifestyle, is not temp. Not everybody understand that.
    Keep up the good work, you are very motivational. Just say thank you and keep it moving.
    She'll get it one day.
  • DorisR184
    DorisR184 Posts: 471 Member
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    @ swedishwillow, Thank you! {HUGS} back 'atcha :smile:

    @ TIDDYBEAR, Thank you.. Don't give up, I've hit my fair share of plateaus and eventually you'll SMASH it to pieces! :wink:

    @ migio357, Thank you very much :smile: You're kind words make alot of sense!
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
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    she is just jealous, ignore. :-)
  • DorisR184
    DorisR184 Posts: 471 Member
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    Thank you so much alexa :smile: It's sad for me to think of my sister that way, but I know deep down inside you're right! This is why I prefer to post on MFP, the support is most definitely here!
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
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    Just remember:

    haters.gif
  • poustotah
    poustotah Posts: 1,121 Member
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    My sister told me that it didn't look like I had lost any weight because my arms were big (I have muscular arms). So I responded by telling her, "how's about I wrap one of my 'fat' arms around your skinny neck and squeeze and then we can determine just how fat they really are.

    Turns out she was REALLY jealous because when we were growing up, I was heavy and she wasn't. Now the tables are turned and she doesn't like that. Too bad!
  • DorisR184
    DorisR184 Posts: 471 Member
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    :smile: Thanks Lisa

    :laugh: daffodil, I LOVE that... Thank you so much for the laugh... I'll definitely have to borrow that :wink:
  • DorisR184
    DorisR184 Posts: 471 Member
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    LOL! poustotah, that's a GOOD ONE!! :laugh:
  • LelliAmi
    LelliAmi Posts: 327 Member
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    She's jelly. She doesn't want you to be hotter than her. I have a sister. I know how it is.
  • amyy902
    amyy902 Posts: 290 Member
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    ignorrrrrrrrrrrrr. if thats what you look like now in your picca, shes just jelous because you have a good shape. working out isnt about loosing weight exactly!! its about health as you said. we only get one body. so we have got to look after it through good diet and health. if she wants to really feel some ribs tell her to come feel mine then she'll get a shock and shush up :p
  • Nicola0000
    Nicola0000 Posts: 535 Member
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    she is just jealous, ignore. :-)

    100% jealous. She doesnt like how well youve done, as you probably get more attention now with family members commenting on your weight loss??

    Just ignore her, although easier said than done. The next time she says something, just say "thank you for your concern, however Im happy with what I am doing so I would appreciate it if you could keep your opinions to yourself". The just change ths subject. People dont like to see other people suceed if they arent 100% comfortable within themselves,
  • cglyfer
    cglyfer Posts: 119
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    Doris...I don't know what your relationship is like with the Sis but....if she loves you and cares about you then maybe she is just concerned...some people see others losing weight and think something MUST be wrong...try to educate her and tell her why you are losing the weight...and then tell her that it hurts to hear her saying negative things about such a good thing you are doing for yourself!

    BTW...I think you look great and should be proud of what you have done!
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
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    Every family has a button-pusher! Try to take it in stride. It is afterall YOUR body, and if she wants to comment on it, don't give her the satisfaction of a reaction. A simple. "Uh-huh. That's an interesting point." will send any button-pusher over the edge! :-) Keep doing what you're doing!
  • Chagama
    Chagama Posts: 543 Member
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    Tell her that you've heard her message, you appreciate her concern, you've incorporated it into your decision, as an adult you are capable of making your own decisions, and you would appreciate if she didn't discuss the topic any longer.

    She likely won't listen, especially if she's jealous, but then the next time it comes up you can just tell her that you've already asked her not to discuss it and ignore her.
  • Bohemian_Rainbow_Girl
    Bohemian_Rainbow_Girl Posts: 4
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    Well, the fact that she compliments you only when she has had a lot to drink (we do, after all, express our TRUE feelings when we hide behind alcohol/drugs), tells me that she IS very happy for you, but perhaps feels inadequate with her own self. She probably knows she needs to work out, stop drinking so much, etc., but lacks the self-control/will power (or whatever) to do that. Then, she sees YOU doing EXACTLY what you intended to do, and successfully, I might add, and it sends her in to a slow burn. So, if I were you, the next time she starts in on you, throw her a towel and say, "Hey, wanna come work out with me?". Jealousy sucks--especially when it is so easily remedied!
  • defygravity531
    defygravity531 Posts: 289 Member
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    My sister is similarly irritating!!

    Maybe:

    Just point blank tell her to stop talking about your body in any way shape or form.

    Calculate your BMI and shut her up with facts - your BMI is within the healthy range and you're not at risk for being underweight so she can shut up.

    Tell her you're packed with muscles so you could take a bodyshot any day and then break the person who gave it to you in half.

    Respond to all the negativity with a steady stream of unbreakable positivity: "omg you're SO skinny! you look sick" --> "I don't look sick, but thank you, I've worked really hard on my body." Or, even better, "huh. that's weird. I think I look great." SHRUG and walk away. :)
  • cindyluu17
    cindyluu17 Posts: 61
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    I'm gonna tell you that people will eventually understand. With my first daughter I had gained so much weight and it took so long to lose that after that I worked out 6 days a week since then. My sister in law would constantly tell me I was obsessed. They don't realize how important to stay fit. After years of me being this way she finally realized its the way to live and now she says she wishes she was like that. We are doing this for our health so nobody else truly understands. You be proud of yourself! You are doing what a lot of people wish they could do. Great job! :)

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