Fed up with having my sis tell me to STOP working out!!

DorisR184

Thank you all so much for the support :flowerforyou: I have to learn to let it roll off my back and not give her the satisfaction, it's just hard for me because I have the short temper to go along with my short stature LOL

rchupka87

Do your thing! Maybe she will eventually decide to make the change that SHE needs to make. These comments she's making aren't about you, they are about her. She is trying to make herself feel better by talking negatively to you. Try to let the comments roll off your back - or even take them as a compliment.... she wants to be YOU!

DorisR184

Do your thing! Maybe she will eventually decide to make the change that SHE needs to make. These comments she's making aren't about you, they are about her. She is trying to make herself feel better by talking negatively to you. Try to let the comments roll off your back - or even take them as a compliment.... she wants to be YOU!

Thank you :flowerforyou: I love the pic & I'll definitely work hard at letting it go. It's not worth the aggravation

Monti_e_lmt

This is coming from a straight girl....You are smoking hot.... She has to be jealous of you! Heck, I am jealous of you! I agree that the alcohol shows what she really feels, she wants to be you. I have a family member that I resent only because I wish I had it as easy as she did, I am jealous she doesn't have to work for a dime and I kill myself at work. That is jealousy. We all want something better. She is probably unhappy with her life (like I am) and she feels high and mighty when she puts you down. I think that if you turn it around on her and say that she is looking thinner as well, or just tell her you feel great and tell her you'd love a workout buddy. If my family member offered to help me instead of complaining about her life, then I wouldn't resent her so much.

OnceAndFutureAthlete

Some good suggestions here.

I would add: try to remember that whatever is going on is HER issue, has to do what's going on in HER head (and not your body).

bcattoes

That sucks! If she has always been thin and you have not, this could be fear of her no longer being the skinny sister or the more attractive sister, even if only in her own mind. Change, even change for the better, does funny things to people. Try to just ignore it as much as you can. After you stick with your goals for a while she will likely get used to the new you and lighten up.

happythermia

"What other people think of me is none of my damn business!" -RuPaul

It's kind of my mantra lol. So when she starts in on you, just shut her down. Re-direct the conversation to something safe. She's the one with the problem, not you.

Keep up the good work! lol but if you're Dr. tells you need to take it easy, do it. Otherwise - keep it up!

JB5349

Maybe she does not have the courage to do what you are doing! I don't know about the rest of you but changing your life takes a lot of courage. I have always been overweight and a foodie! Yes I love my food, especially sweets and chips. My husband is a big man 6' 250lbs. I used to think it was ok for me to be larger because he is a larger man. He has always said that he loves me whether I am 100 lbs or a1000 lbs. He has seen me at my best and at my worst, he is 100% supportive of my decision to get healthy but... he still eats chips and stuff in front of me and I find that hard. So now because of MFP I actually will look at serving sizes and determine based on my calories whether or not I want to eat them.

Today we were on the run and he was hungry got himself a big bag of chips and I (proudly) ate only 9 chips because it was half a serving and I could! The best part is that I could stop too. This site has helped me so much .

As for your sister, relationship dynamics change as we do... I am still fundamentally the same person, but I have more pep in my step. I am more likely to go for a walk at night rather than sit and watch tv. Or I go downstairs to my elliptical and spend an hour there while my tv show is on. Every little bit helps. Maybe she does not know/have the determination to make the changes in her life to become more healthy

DorisR184

I've suggested many many times we should get together for workouts, but her reply is always the same... "I don't need to workout like that, because I don't have to lose weight!" I've heard that so many times, it's been at least 6 months since the last time I asked her and unless she suggests it, I won't ever invite her again.

But, thank you all so much for the positive feedback :flowerforyou: You have no idea how much better I feel reading all of your replies. I know I have to let it go and I WILL do just that

At least if/when it happes again, I'll have plenty of things to come back with... Thanks to all of u Or I might just let it burn and ignore her comments altogether. :bigsmile:

ninerbuff

I'd just be her drink supplier. Problem solved.

A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

erineddy81

OMG!! I was just thinking about this today. I dont have issues with my sister, because I rarely get to see her, but my friends. I posted a pic on my FB and someone actually commented and told me to gain 5 pounds. I simply told her that for my height I am far from being underweight or under a healthy bodyfat %. I love it when people tell me Im wasting away or Im to skinny lol. Im just going 'screw you...you're just mad that I am doing something to not be overweight anymore.' People try to blow off my healthy eating suggestions because I look decent, like it happened by accident lol
I guess my point is don't worry about what others think and you go do the dang thing girl!!!

americaistoxic

It's easier to bring you down than to change herself. She's just saying things because she doesn't like herself.

kstep88

I really need to vent, so I'm apologizing in advance for my grammatical errors...

I'm so DONE with having my sis tell me I need to give it a rest and stop working out already. In the beginning, she was very supportive, always saying I'm doing a great job but more and more it's been nothing but negativity from her. I'm by no means starving myself nor do I look emaciated, so WHY is she doing this? I've explained on numerous occasions to her that my focus is not my weight on the scale but more my body shape (inch loss) and my health! I'm also focused on a having a nice tummy, and of course I know there is no such thing as spot reduction, so I continue to cardio & lifting because that's my goal... So NO, I'M NOT DONE!!

But she WON'T stop! Just yesterday, I was in my kitchen (my back was to her) and she says... Wow you're waist is so tiny (then she puts her hands on my waist) and says, I can feel your ribs... If someone were to give you a bodyshot, (as in PUNCH me in the ribs!!) you would pass out!... SERIOUSLY, who even thinks that?! Immediately, I turned around and said... "I'm proud of having a small waist now! I've worked HARD for this change in my body! Don't you remember me at 205lbs?" ... She then, touches my chin and says, aww look at your face (with this sad puppy look) :explode: ... By this point, I'm angry but trying to keep my composure.. So, I simply said, I'm not DYING woman! And I walked out... I don't understand, she's not overweight, but she is what many might call skinnyfat (IMO it's because she drinks ALOT)... she used to tell me she wanted to join me in my workouts, but now she calls me obsessed! I just don't get it!

We don't see eachother that often, but lately everytime we do, she's ALWAYS being negative. And honestly, the ONLY time she does compliment me, is when she's had ALOT to drink!

It feels really good to let this out and to whoever took the time to read this, thanks for "listening" I feel MUCH better! :flowerforyou:

Maybe she is jealous.

ninakir88

Yeah, def jealous.

MsBaby117

One word: Jealousy!!

Shake them haters off and keep it moving! You look awesome! :flowerforyou:

misrical

Doris, your sister is just insecure from the fact that she thinks you will/do look better than her.
A lot of people cant handle people wanting to improve themselves and sometimes this does include family.
Keep up the good work and don't let anyone bring you down.

kiminita

I bet the all the lifting you've been doing, and the drinking she does, really means that you could punch her so hard that you'd knock the wind out, and her alcohol-lathered muscles wouldnt be able to muster half the strength. Not to encourage violence. But I'm SURE that you're stronger than she is, especially if you said she's skinny fat. people dont realize that extra weight on you is not indicative in anyway of extra muscle. your shape and definition would speak to that.

sofitheteacup

I didn't look through the entire thread, but there's this line/image I keep seeing around pintrest that sums up how I feel about this: obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe the dedicated. 74 pounds is a lot, girl, you've done great. It's possible you've changed more about yourself than simply your appearance, and she's just now realizing that and adjusting and not really sure of things, I guess...? Actually, that sounds lame. I have a sister, and it's sad that she's reacting quite that way, I'm sorry. Hopefully she'll let it go or become more supportive. I would suggest being positive and maybe still inviting her along to workout and if she's really unhappy with herself (which others have mentioned) this will put the ball more squarely in her court.
But then hey, some people just don't get it. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
You look amazing, keep up the good work.

babigurl86

Just remember:

love it! so true she's obviously jealous,she thought u would give up....but you didn't! well done you! if she gets out of hand (again) say 'jealous?',or do what i do when people tell me not to lose weight cos my 'head is too large' (*kitten*!.....and breathe) *confused eyes* and say ''WOW'' then walk away slowly like their a creature u dont recognise......lol

kiminita

My sister is the same way...she is always making fun of me for measuring my food. She's huge. Like she could have another person inside her hanging stomach huge. But I always knew it was insecurity on her part. I only snapped at her once and pulled the weight card. I felt like **** after that. But she'd been pushing and pushing me. We've both always been big, but her more so. A couple months after the incident (and after I moved out of her apt--yes, part of the problem was living together), she mentioned to me that she had always thought of me as the prettier one. Lately, she's been cutting her portions too is visibly losing weight. It's nice to see. Goes to show you that what you do to improve yourself, other people WILL notice--for better or worse.