ohyeah! i had a real ?... sexual orientation...

_snw_
_snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
to stay within rules - i am NOT being sexually explicit - I'm asking about sexual orientation. big difference. (and for the record - straight, bi, gay or les, makes no matter to me - you all rule)



let's say i have this "friend", who is a girl.

is it possible for my "friend" to be attracted sexually to another girl and still be considered straight? Or is just the fact that I, i mean, my "friend" is sexually attracted to another girl while still being sexually attracted to boys, mean she's bi?
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Replies

  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
    Depends, if she's in college it's called experimenting:flowerforyou:
  • Sweet_T_McGee_HeatherSadie
    Sweet_T_McGee_HeatherSadie Posts: 98 Member
    As Butters would say. . . bi curious :)
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
    is a vegetarian who eats a steak not a vegetarian?

    in my opinion, it is whichever you prefer the majority of the time. it's simplistic, but i don't feel like working my brain out right now.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I consider myself completely straight, but some women are just hawt, like, fantasy inducing hot.
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
    As Butters would say. . . bi curious :)

    as Tobias Funke would say 'oh, i'm buy-curious'
  • Kityngirl
    Kityngirl Posts: 14,304 Member
    I consider myself completely straight, but some women are just hawt, like, fantasy inducing hot.

    ^^this.
  • runnercheryl
    runnercheryl Posts: 1,314 Member
    to stay within rules - i am NOT being sexually explicit - I'm asking about sexual orientation. big difference. (and for the record - straight, bi, gay or les, makes no matter to me - you all rule)



    let's say i have this "friend", who is a girl.

    is it possible for my "friend" to be attracted sexually to another girl and still be considered straight? Or is just the fact that I, i mean, my "friend" is sexually attracted to another girl while still being sexually attracted to boys, mean she's bi?

    I've never experienced this myself, but I have to say that I don't believe in absolutes. I think we're all on a sliding scale, and I think 'gay', 'straight' and 'bi' are just definitions for those in a clear-cut area of that scale. I believe 'your friend' could be sexually attracted to certain females and still identify as 'straight' as long as it's only a few females. If that 'friend' found they were getting to a point where it was past about 20/80 of people they were attracted to, I'd expect them to probably identify as bi if they were labelling themself.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    Hmmm...

    I would say the following based on a late "friend" of dear to my heart...

    The answer lies in the frequency of said "crossing the line" and the party/parties gathered within that frequency.
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
    I don't like labels. I live by the idea of the sexual spectrum. One end is totally 100% straight and the other is totally 100% homo. I think, unless someone is asexual, they fall somewhere along the spectrum. I think it's rare to be one of the extremes. I definitely am sexually attracted to girls, although, most of my experiences are with men. Sexuality is far more than just who you choose to have sex with. That's my opinion.

    Edit: I guess I just basically said the same thing as Cheryl.
  • amysj303
    amysj303 Posts: 5,086 Member
    Hm, I thought about this recently because my m-i-l is with a woman and they have been together a long time, and I would say she fell in the love with the person and if something happened to that relationship, she would probably date men, but her partner would probably never date men. We're probably all on that spectrum of being attracted to some people of the same sex (the spectrum from not at all to very much)
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 614 Member
    I consider myself completely straight, but some women are just hawt, like, fantasy inducing hot.

    ^^ this. Have you seen my MFP friend list... including you! BTW, speaking of fantasy inducing, where has Ty been?
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    Sweet_T_McGee wrote: As Butters would say. . . bi curious :)

    ^^^This girl rocks! And she's right. ^^^
  • Allie_71
    Allie_71 Posts: 1,063 Member
    I don't like labels. I live by the idea of the sexual spectrum. One end is totally 100% straight and the other is totally 100% homo. I think, unless someone is asexual, they fall somewhere along the spectrum. I think it's rare to be one of the extremes. I definitely am sexually attracted to girls, although, most of my experiences are with men. Sexuality is far more than just who you choose to have sex with. That's my opinion.

    Edit: I guess I just basically said the same thing as Cheryl.

    You and Cheryl put it better than I ever could :)
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    sexuality is a fluid thing. i hate labels, whatever the label is, no one fits into it perfectly.

    so you can say shes bi curious, or straight with bi leanings, whatever.

    but really, can anyone say they are 100% heterosexual or homosexual. we are attracted to what we're attracted to, doesnt mean we have to label it...
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    I don't like labels. I live by the idea of the sexual spectrum. One end is totally 100% straight and the other is totally 100% homo. I think, unless someone is asexual, they fall somewhere along the spectrum. I think it's rare to be one of the extremes. I definitely am sexually attracted to girls, although, most of my experiences are with men. Sexuality is far more than just who you choose to have sex with. That's my opinion.

    Edit: I guess I just basically said the same thing as Cheryl.

    Disagree with the falling along the spectrum because I find NOTHING attractive about a dude... absolutely NOTHING!
  • plushkitten
    plushkitten Posts: 547 Member
    Meh. Whatever it is, just go with it.
    I've been attracted to girls all my life, but I'm also attracted to guys.
    However, I do prefer being in an emotional relationship with guys,
    but when it comes to sex both can join ;D
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I consider myself completely straight, but some women are just hawt, like, fantasy inducing hot.

    ^^ this. Have you seen my MFP friend list... including you! BTW, speaking of fantasy inducing, where has Ty been?
    Thanks! I love being ogled, and it doesn't happen nearly often enough. :)
  • AliceKlaar
    AliceKlaar Posts: 275 Member
    to stay within rules - i am NOT being sexually explicit - I'm asking about sexual orientation. big difference. (and for the record - straight, bi, gay or les, makes no matter to me - you all rule)



    let's say i have this "friend", who is a girl.

    is it possible for my "friend" to be attracted sexually to another girl and still be considered straight? Or is just the fact that I, i mean, my "friend" is sexually attracted to another girl while still being sexually attracted to boys, mean she's bi?

    I would contend that, with the repeated use of the words 'sexually' and 'sexual' you are, in fact, being sexually explicit. Therefore, I'm going to have to insist that you use an NSFW tag in future, otherwise I may have to consider reporting you. Having said that, there was this one time, in band camp....
  • jessicae1aine
    jessicae1aine Posts: 885
    Well.

    That's something I can't honestly answer, but I can share MY experience here.

    I identify as a lesbian. I have for as long as I can remember, though I tried pretty hard to pretend I was as straight as can be (and even married the world's biggest *kitten* in the process). Once I left him, I ended up falling quite hard, emotionally, for another guy (who I'm currently with). Do I find him attractive? Of course. But he's the exception, not the rule.

    I'm gay. I just happen to be in love with a guy. Whatevs.
  • raevynn
    raevynn Posts: 666 Member
    I don't like labels. I live by the idea of the sexual spectrum. One end is totally 100% straight and the other is totally 100% homo. I think, unless someone is asexual, they fall somewhere along the spectrum. I think it's rare to be one of the extremes. I definitely am sexually attracted to girls, although, most of my experiences are with men. Sexuality is far more than just who you choose to have sex with. That's my opinion.

    Edit: I guess I just basically said the same thing as Cheryl.
    This. I see it as a sort of bell curve, with most people in one of the "thirds" of the curve, than at the exact middle or ends...
    I have family and friends that fit all over this curve. I'm somewhere in the "straight-ish" third.
  • ddiestler
    ddiestler Posts: 353 Member
    Interesting topic of conversation... I am a lesbian..I identify as one and am in a relationship with a woman for the past 7 years. I see men I find attractive..that doesn't mean I want to sleep with them. I was with a man for 16 years and was very uncomfortable.. I think it's all who you identify with.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    If I climb some rocks once or twice, am I a rock climber? If I kick a football (or soccer ball) once or twice, does that make me a footballer (soccer) player?

    How is it any different?
  • MacInCali
    MacInCali Posts: 1,012 Member
    I hate limitations ... I hate labels ... I hate "rules" when it comes to anything of a sexual nature. I like what I like and I don't like being told I can't have something I want.

    Hmmmm ... I guess it's true what they say ... an "only child" IS spoiled! :laugh: :noway: :bigsmile:
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    I consider myself completely straight, but some women are just hawt, like, fantasy inducing hot.

    ^^totally agree here! (Although in my younger years, I did some experimenting...I still consider myself straight)
  • elcieloesazul
    elcieloesazul Posts: 448 Member
    You're attracted to who you are attracted to; it doesn't necessarily have to fall under a simple set of labels.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    to stay within rules - i am NOT being sexually explicit - I'm asking about sexual orientation. big difference. (and for the record - straight, bi, gay or les, makes no matter to me - you all rule)



    let's say i have this "friend", who is a girl.

    is it possible for my "friend" to be attracted sexually to another girl and still be considered straight? Or is just the fact that I, i mean, my "friend" is sexually attracted to another girl while still being sexually attracted to boys, mean she's bi?
    Does your "friend" feel empowered by one label over another? Is there a sense of identity with one label over another? Ultimately the label is just words, but to your friend, and anyone interacting with your friend, the label may alter perception/judgment.

    Flip it around. Would calling your friend gay change who your friend is? Would calling her bi change who she is? Would it change who she is to you? (that's getting deep....)

    I agree with others that say it's a spectrum where very few reside in the absolutes, despite all the dudes in backwards baseball caps shouting the contrary.
  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
    If its just sexual then that is called being sexually attracted to the same sex.

    If its emotion-driven and you like her or think you like her that would be bisexual or interested in the same sex.
  • donna_glasgow
    donna_glasgow Posts: 869 Member
    is a tag needed? .... she likes ppl it doesn't matter what sex ... or is that just me :)
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    I don't like labels. I live by the idea of the sexual spectrum. One end is totally 100% straight and the other is totally 100% homo. I think, unless someone is asexual, they fall somewhere along the spectrum. I think it's rare to be one of the extremes. I definitely am sexually attracted to girls, although, most of my experiences are with men. Sexuality is far more than just who you choose to have sex with. That's my opinion.

    Edit: I guess I just basically said the same thing as Cheryl.

    Disagree with the falling along the spectrum because I find NOTHING attractive about a dude... absolutely NOTHING!

    I disagree too. I am 100% straight. I can look at a woman and think she is pretty, beautiful or even sexy. I could wish I looked like her, but there is nothing that stirs that lust spark. NOPE, that is the one time that reach out and touch someone doesn't enter the brain.

    IMHO.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    Orientation titles are determined by the individual. If you subscribe to the Kinsey theory, very very few people register as actually 100% straight or 100% gay. It is also extremely common for people of both sexes to have at least one same sex crush during their lifetime (whether or not they want to admit it)

    Of course she can still be straight if she's attracted to another woman. If she's straight, she's straight. No one can define these things for another person. What does she say?

    Labels are just a way to help you make yourself understood to the rest of society.

    I identify as queer, but most people don't understand this without a long and difficult conversation, so if someone is not familiar with the community terminology, I tell them I'm bisexual. If they want to get into details, I will explain my view of things but it's so personal that I'd just as soon keep most of the details to myself.

    And, for the record, the Kinsey spectrum is NOT about sexual attraction, it's about attraction in general. If you can assess another person of the same sex as you and recognize their attractiveness, or why someone else might want to have sex with them, this would register you as not 100% straight. Maybe 99.9% straight, but not 100%.
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