ohyeah! i had a real ?... sexual orientation...

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  • ddiestler
    ddiestler Posts: 353 Member
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    Interesting topic of conversation... I am a lesbian..I identify as one and am in a relationship with a woman for the past 7 years. I see men I find attractive..that doesn't mean I want to sleep with them. I was with a man for 16 years and was very uncomfortable.. I think it's all who you identify with.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    If I climb some rocks once or twice, am I a rock climber? If I kick a football (or soccer ball) once or twice, does that make me a footballer (soccer) player?

    How is it any different?
  • MacInCali
    MacInCali Posts: 1,044 Member
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    I hate limitations ... I hate labels ... I hate "rules" when it comes to anything of a sexual nature. I like what I like and I don't like being told I can't have something I want.

    Hmmmm ... I guess it's true what they say ... an "only child" IS spoiled! :laugh: :noway: :bigsmile:
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    I consider myself completely straight, but some women are just hawt, like, fantasy inducing hot.

    ^^totally agree here! (Although in my younger years, I did some experimenting...I still consider myself straight)
  • elcieloesazul
    elcieloesazul Posts: 448 Member
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    You're attracted to who you are attracted to; it doesn't necessarily have to fall under a simple set of labels.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    to stay within rules - i am NOT being sexually explicit - I'm asking about sexual orientation. big difference. (and for the record - straight, bi, gay or les, makes no matter to me - you all rule)



    let's say i have this "friend", who is a girl.

    is it possible for my "friend" to be attracted sexually to another girl and still be considered straight? Or is just the fact that I, i mean, my "friend" is sexually attracted to another girl while still being sexually attracted to boys, mean she's bi?
    Does your "friend" feel empowered by one label over another? Is there a sense of identity with one label over another? Ultimately the label is just words, but to your friend, and anyone interacting with your friend, the label may alter perception/judgment.

    Flip it around. Would calling your friend gay change who your friend is? Would calling her bi change who she is? Would it change who she is to you? (that's getting deep....)

    I agree with others that say it's a spectrum where very few reside in the absolutes, despite all the dudes in backwards baseball caps shouting the contrary.
  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
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    If its just sexual then that is called being sexually attracted to the same sex.

    If its emotion-driven and you like her or think you like her that would be bisexual or interested in the same sex.
  • donna_glasgow
    donna_glasgow Posts: 869 Member
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    is a tag needed? .... she likes ppl it doesn't matter what sex ... or is that just me :)
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
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    I don't like labels. I live by the idea of the sexual spectrum. One end is totally 100% straight and the other is totally 100% homo. I think, unless someone is asexual, they fall somewhere along the spectrum. I think it's rare to be one of the extremes. I definitely am sexually attracted to girls, although, most of my experiences are with men. Sexuality is far more than just who you choose to have sex with. That's my opinion.

    Edit: I guess I just basically said the same thing as Cheryl.

    Disagree with the falling along the spectrum because I find NOTHING attractive about a dude... absolutely NOTHING!

    I disagree too. I am 100% straight. I can look at a woman and think she is pretty, beautiful or even sexy. I could wish I looked like her, but there is nothing that stirs that lust spark. NOPE, that is the one time that reach out and touch someone doesn't enter the brain.

    IMHO.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
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    Orientation titles are determined by the individual. If you subscribe to the Kinsey theory, very very few people register as actually 100% straight or 100% gay. It is also extremely common for people of both sexes to have at least one same sex crush during their lifetime (whether or not they want to admit it)

    Of course she can still be straight if she's attracted to another woman. If she's straight, she's straight. No one can define these things for another person. What does she say?

    Labels are just a way to help you make yourself understood to the rest of society.

    I identify as queer, but most people don't understand this without a long and difficult conversation, so if someone is not familiar with the community terminology, I tell them I'm bisexual. If they want to get into details, I will explain my view of things but it's so personal that I'd just as soon keep most of the details to myself.

    And, for the record, the Kinsey spectrum is NOT about sexual attraction, it's about attraction in general. If you can assess another person of the same sex as you and recognize their attractiveness, or why someone else might want to have sex with them, this would register you as not 100% straight. Maybe 99.9% straight, but not 100%.
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
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    While I am lesbian, always have been, I can appreciate a good looking man, not in a "I want that" way, but just...appreciate. Its' like, well, looking at the Mona Lisa. I can appreciate it and think its lovely, but I don't want to live with it in my living room.
  • TopazCarey
    TopazCarey Posts: 263
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    I'm a gay guy and I've never had any sexual experience with girls but sometimes, I do find myself kinda attracted to some women. Like I seriously love the woman body. It's just beautiful to me. Like take someone like Rihanna, she's so sexy to me and it's easy to find myself fantasizing about her. But in my mind it would be like a lesbian kinda thing lol. That probably makes no sense but that's the beautiful thing about sexuality, it doesn't have to make sense. But at the end of the day, I'm still gay.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
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    I'm a gay guy and I've never had any sexual experience with girls but sometimes, I do find myself kinda attracted to some women. Like I seriously love the woman body. It's just beautiful to me. Like take someone like Rihanna, she's so sexy to me and I'd so do certain things with her. But in my mind it would be like a lesbian kinda thing lol. That probably makes no sense but that's the beautiful thing about sexuality, it doesn't have to make sense. But at the end of the day, I'm still gay.

    Just so you know, I get what you mean here... At least I think you do. It's sorta like identifying your own femininity in a woman and wanting to enjoy and explore it that way. Or something ;) I love my boys, and they all love my boobs, so I get it on some level at least! :)
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    I have had dreams of being with a girl. Really sleeping dreams, not day dreams.
  • TopazCarey
    TopazCarey Posts: 263
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    I'm a gay guy and I've never had any sexual experience with girls but sometimes, I do find myself kinda attracted to some women. Like I seriously love the woman body. It's just beautiful to me. Like take someone like Rihanna, she's so sexy to me and I'd so do certain things with her. But in my mind it would be like a lesbian kinda thing lol. That probably makes no sense but that's the beautiful thing about sexuality, it doesn't have to make sense. But at the end of the day, I'm still gay.

    Just so you know, I get what you mean here... At least I think you do. It's sorta like identifying your own femininity in a woman and wanting to enjoy and explore it that way. Or something ;) I love my boys, and they all love my boobs, so I get it on some level at least! :)

    Yes! Exactly this! Thanks for putting it into words that make sense! lol. =)
  • mkmacf
    mkmacf Posts: 101
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    I have only ever been with men, but that being said I wouldn't ignore it if I started to have feelings for a woman.
  • runnercheryl
    runnercheryl Posts: 1,314 Member
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    I don't like labels. I live by the idea of the sexual spectrum. One end is totally 100% straight and the other is totally 100% homo. I think, unless someone is asexual, they fall somewhere along the spectrum. I think it's rare to be one of the extremes. I definitely am sexually attracted to girls, although, most of my experiences are with men. Sexuality is far more than just who you choose to have sex with. That's my opinion.

    Edit: I guess I just basically said the same thing as Cheryl.

    Disagree with the falling along the spectrum because I find NOTHING attractive about a dude... absolutely NOTHING!

    This is the point though. Spectrums still have ends, and you might fall in/close to them. I've never found another female even remotely sexually attractive, but that doesn't mean if I did in future I'd panic and have an identity crisis - I'd consider it normal, and carry on. I'd still identify as straight, unless it kept happening, but thus far I sit firmly at the 'straight' end of the spectrum with no experiences to sway me otherwise. Spectrums are like that.
  • liftandcycle
    liftandcycle Posts: 209
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    I hate limitations ... I hate labels ... I hate "rules" when it comes to anything of a sexual nature. I like what I like and I don't like being told I can't have something I want.

    ^this
  • catattack13
    catattack13 Posts: 117
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    hmmmm. I say call it whatever you want, and lick whomever you want. everythingsexual.
  • Tari_D
    Tari_D Posts: 121 Member
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    Orientation titles are determined by the individual. If you subscribe to the Kinsey theory, very very few people register as actually 100% straight or 100% gay. It is also extremely common for people of both sexes to have at least one same sex crush during their lifetime (whether or not they want to admit it)

    Of course she can still be straight if she's attracted to another woman. If she's straight, she's straight. No one can define these things for another person. What does she say?

    Labels are just a way to help you make yourself understood to the rest of society.

    I identify as queer, but most people don't understand this without a long and difficult conversation, so if someone is not familiar with the community terminology, I tell them I'm bisexual. If they want to get into details, I will explain my view of things but it's so personal that I'd just as soon keep most of the details to myself.

    And, for the record, the Kinsey spectrum is NOT about sexual attraction, it's about attraction in general. If you can assess another person of the same sex as you and recognize their attractiveness, or why someone else might want to have sex with them, this would register you as not 100% straight. Maybe 99.9% straight, but not 100%.

    i was pretty much going to say exactly this. I think you (or your friend) can identify yourself however you like. Although it is limited by others' understanding a little - a while of explaining that pansexual doesn't mean liking animals made me 'bisexual' instead or queer would work too.

    i'm happy being bisexual as it isn't too restrictive although it does still have it's prejudices. Go with what you feel comfortable with. In an ideal world we wouldn't need any labels (if you fancy mostly blondes your not blondesexual so why care about gender?) but for now just whatever you want.

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