Men vs. women- perspective?

hbrittingham

I work out at a great gym. I am there 7 days a week and the employees all greet me by name. The manager is a really, really nice guy with a very loud, penetrating voice who yells a hello to me every time I get there and goodbye every time I leave.

So on Monday I checked in and was walking past him. He greets me by name and then says, "look at you, you are starting to slim down!". In his booming voice. In front of everyone.

As a woman, I was mortified. I felt like he was implying that I am fat and am just starting to get slim.

My logical side says that he was trying to give me a compliment and I should accept it as so.

How would other women take it? Do men think he was just being nice and not implying that I am fat?

FWIW, I know I am not fat, but I have been fat and it still nags at me sometimes.

rammsteinsoldier

Take it as a compliment and move on. Don't over think it.

Carl01

Take it as a compliment and move on. Don't over think it.

This.

k8lyn_235

i think when you have been overweight in the past, you associate a comment like that with being called fat. also, as women i think we are more sensitive to comments of that nature.

but guys are simple and sometimes words don't come out right! i'm almost positive he meant it in a nice way to just say - way to go! i don't think he meant you were fat before, maybe he meant you are getting leaner and more fit that's how i would take it! don't stress about it.

SoDamnHungry

He was only trying to say something positive, even if it came out wrong. Take it as a 100% well intended compliment, even if he could have phrased it better.

Qarol

I'm certain he meant it as a compliment. They always do. But I'm a weirdo and hate hate hate when people notice my weight loss and say something about it. Makes me all kinds of uncomfortable.

But I'm a great actress. I smile and say thank you. I've got a great smile.

Tari_D

take it as a compliment :-) I think it's just a general nice thing to say in a gym, it doesn't mean your fat it just means he think everyone would like to hear that.

rossi02

He was only trying to say something positive, even if it came out wrong. Take it as a 100% well intended compliment, even if he could have phrased it better.

Agree with this!

JulieH3art

Take it as a compliment! For sure.

also, isn't that what you are trying to do? slim down?

k8blujay2

I agree with everyone else... Guys are more blunt than women... they don't try to hide different meaning in what they say (unless of course they are politicians, but that's a different subject all together)... I would take it as a compliment as well.

BIGJIMMYU

Any man over 5 years old knows better to intentionally call a woman fat. Being an employee I would reckon he was sincere and trying to pay you a compliment. He seems like a jovial individual. Take it for what it's worth! He has probably noticed your slimming down as a result of your hard work which he has seen the progress in. Outside of the gym and a person not seeing you for awhile? Maybe unsensitive but even then. If it were opposite (man, you've gained a little weight), then I would be pissed.

rml_16

Take it as a compliment and move on. Don't over think it.

This.

Times 3.

(And for the record, to all the people who complain that "no one says anything" when they lose weight, this OP's reaction is why!!)

chevy88grl

It was a compliment. Don't over analyze it at all.

chrimsonfyre

I think he meant it as a compliment and it should be taken that way. I don't think he was wanting to embarrass you. Sometimes people speak before they think...

Julzanne72

don't over think it, it was a complient, and you should take it as such!

billsica

This is why I use cat calls and shout out.
"Hey baby, you got some fries to go with that shake"
Also I have been knows to yell out variations on "you looking so fine doll face"

I would never be so rude as to mention that a girl has slimmed down.

izzydino

Compliment:)

hbrittingham

Take it as a compliment and move on. Don't over think it.

This.

Times 3.

(And for the record, to all the people who complain that "no one says anything" when they lose weight, this OP's reaction is why!!)

I have to disagree. He had absolutely no idea that I might have taken it any way except for a compliment. I smiled and told him thank you. I would never let him know that it might have embarrassed me because I was pretty sure he meant it as a compliment.

As I said in my OP, he is a really, really nice person and would never intentionally say anything mean to someone.

L2M1D52

I'd take it as a compliment and have done so when ppl tell me. Since he does know you are going to the gym, I'm sure he wanted to show you appreciation for your efforts. :happy:

rml_16

Take it as a compliment and move on. Don't over think it.

This.

Times 3.

(And for the record, to all the people who complain that "no one says anything" when they lose weight, this OP's reaction is why!!)

I have to disagree. He had absolutely no idea that I might have taken it any way except for a compliment. I smiled and told him thank you. I would never let him know that it might have embarrassed me because I was pretty sure he meant it as a compliment.

As I said in my OP, he is a really, really nice person and would never intentionally say anything mean to someone.

I don't mean your reaction in the moment. I mean that clearly you didn't ACTUALLY take it well. People don't know what kind of reaction they'll get commenting on someone's weight, no matter how much they mean it as a compliment. So they say nothing.

BeingWiser

Take it as a compliment and move on. Don't over think it.

AMEN SISTER!! Your over thinking this!