Men vs. women- perspective?

2

Replies

  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    I think it's a total compliment. He's commending your hard work.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    Proof we are doomed as a species and men have no chance. Even a seemingly innocuous compliment can be completely taken the wrong way.
  • HealthyAlison
    HealthyAlison Posts: 112 Member
    Take it as a compliment and move on. He sees you working out everyday so he knows it's probably something you've been working on. (As a former teacher, it's one of those finer points you have to learn, who likes their praise in public and who prefers it to be more private.)
  • jdbaker01
    jdbaker01 Posts: 41 Member
    from my experiences men always seem to notice, how much weight you have put on, i would love to walk by and have a bloke say wow look at you, you've lost so much weight....take it as a compliment!!!!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    from my experiences men always seem to notice, how much weight you have put on, i would love to walk by and have a bloke say wow look at you, you've lost so much weight....take it as a compliment!!!!

    I must date men who lie or are just oblivious because I've never had a man I was involved with say anything when I've gained. When I reached my heaviest (about 20 pounds more than when I met the current SO) and said I needed to get serious about losing, he was shocked.
  • _HeathBar_
    _HeathBar_ Posts: 902 Member
    Let me guess, you also get mad at people for complementing your cloths because it implies you usually wear rags.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I think that is a lovely compliment. I suspect that he wanted to tell you that you look good while encouraging you to keep up the excellent work.
  • Fubar_Bill
    Fubar_Bill Posts: 120 Member
    Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

    As I guy I always find that it is a bit of a mine field trying to figure out the "right" thing to say to compliment a lady without sounding like you are coming onto them.
  • fourluvbugs
    fourluvbugs Posts: 194 Member
    This is why I use cat calls and shout out.
    "Hey baby, you got some fries to go with that shake"
    Also I have been knows to yell out variations on "you looking so fine doll face"

    I would never be so rude as to mention that a girl has slimmed down.

    Bwah ha ha ha ha!!!!

    OP, I agree with the others that it was intended as a compliment to you and all the hard work you are putting in. I'd certainly take it that way. :) Congratulations!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

    As I guy I always find that it is a bit of a mine field trying to figure out the "right" thing to say to compliment a lady without sounding like you are coming onto them.

    When I lost 34 pounds, my male coworkers took a LONG time to say anything. When they did, it was just along the lines of, "Have you lost weight? I noticed before, but wasn't sure if I should say something."

    It was non-creepy, office-appropriate and let me know people could see my results.
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
    Take it as a compliment and move on. Don't over think it.

    This.

    Times 3.

    (And for the record, to all the people who complain that "no one says anything" when they lose weight, this OP's reaction is why!!)

    Excellent point! Don't get your shorts or panties twisted because someone is complimenting you, or assume it is anything else. An aerobics class instructor complimented the class on how great everyone was doing then she "singled" me out for my "great results" Sure I was the chunkiest in the class so she knew darn well how hard I was working, initially just keep up. I was beaming for the rest of the class; and worked even harder.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Let me guess, you also get mad at people for complementing your cloths because it implies you usually wear rags.

    Nope, not at all. And I didn't get mad at him. If I was mad at him, I wouldn't have started my OP with compliments about how nice he is.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

    As I guy I always find that it is a bit of a mine field trying to figure out the "right" thing to say to compliment a lady without sounding like you are coming onto them.

    When I lost 34 pounds, my male coworkers took a LONG time to say anything. When they did, it was just along the lines of, "Have you lost weight? I noticed before, but wasn't sure if I should say something."

    It was non-creepy, office-appropriate and let me know people could see my results.
    Good advice. That explains why i was dragged into HR. There was this really nice coworker who dropped some weight. To appreciate all her hard work, I walked up to her, performed a "honk honk" with both hands...said "Lookin' bigger" with a wink.

    Now I know...and knowing is half the battle.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    I wasn't taking offense at anything he said. It was the phrasing that threw me off. If someone tells me that I look great, I don't assume they mean anything but that I look great. If they say that I am starting to look good, it sounds more like I am only starting to look good rather than I do look good. I am sure a lot of this goes back to having a mom who has never been overweight and is the queen of backhanded compliments. I remember her saying to me one time, "honey, I can tell you've lost weight. Your butt isn't nearly as huge as it used to be". LOL
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

    As I guy I always find that it is a bit of a mine field trying to figure out the "right" thing to say to compliment a lady without sounding like you are coming onto them.

    When I lost 34 pounds, my male coworkers took a LONG time to say anything. When they did, it was just along the lines of, "Have you lost weight? I noticed before, but wasn't sure if I should say something."

    It was non-creepy, office-appropriate and let me know people could see my results.
    Good advice. That explains why i was dragged into HR. There was this really nice coworker who dropped some weight. To appreciate all her hard work, I walked up to her, performed a "honk honk" with both hands...said "Lookin' bigger" with a wink.

    Now I know...and knowing is half the battle.

    *furiously taking notes*
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

    As I guy I always find that it is a bit of a mine field trying to figure out the "right" thing to say to compliment a lady without sounding like you are coming onto them.

    When I lost 34 pounds, my male coworkers took a LONG time to say anything. When they did, it was just along the lines of, "Have you lost weight? I noticed before, but wasn't sure if I should say something."

    It was non-creepy, office-appropriate and let me know people could see my results.
    Good advice. That explains why i was dragged into HR. There was this really nice coworker who dropped some weight. To appreciate all her hard work, I walked up to her, performed a "honk honk" with both hands...said "Lookin' bigger" with a wink.

    Now I know...and knowing is half the battle.

    Glad I could help. And I hopefully saved your job for you. I think that means you owe me money or something.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    <snip>
    Glad I could help. And I hopefully saved your job for you. I think that means you owe me money or something.
    The appropriate checks will be mailed, but it's the postal service, we know how reliable THEY can be.
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
    I dont get it you were talking about your clown noser right........:tongue:
    Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

    As I guy I always find that it is a bit of a mine field trying to figure out the "right" thing to say to compliment a lady without sounding like you are coming onto them.

    When I lost 34 pounds, my male coworkers took a LONG time to say anything. When they did, it was just along the lines of, "Have you lost weight? I noticed before, but wasn't sure if I should say something."

    It was non-creepy, office-appropriate and let me know people could see my results.
    Good advice. That explains why i was dragged into HR. There was this really nice coworker who dropped some weight. To appreciate all her hard work, I walked up to her, performed a "honk honk" with both hands...said "Lookin' bigger" with a wink.

    Now I know...and knowing is half the battle.
  • bethybear8990
    bethybear8990 Posts: 51
    For me, I think it is more of a compliment that he announced it in his booming voice. Now everyone that was around knows that you are starting to meet your goals. I am sure that they could see that you are clearly not a "fat" woman. Its a reason to hold your head high as you are in your gym. Your hard work is paying off and people are taking notice.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I would only be offended if it was at a bank or something- I mean, im at the gym to slim down. I'd be so happy if the bank teller winked at me and said- your savings account has been doing well- good job not going shopping :P

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