Men vs. women- perspective?

Buddhasmiracle

Take it as a compliment and move on. Don't over think it.

This.

Times 3.

(And for the record, to all the people who complain that "no one says anything" when they lose weight, this OP's reaction is why!!)

Excellent point! Don't get your shorts or panties twisted because someone is complimenting you, or assume it is anything else. An aerobics class instructor complimented the class on how great everyone was doing then she "singled" me out for my "great results" Sure I was the chunkiest in the class so she knew darn well how hard I was working, initially just keep up. I was beaming for the rest of the class; and worked even harder.

hbrittingham

Let me guess, you also get mad at people for complementing your cloths because it implies you usually wear rags.

Nope, not at all. And I didn't get mad at him. If I was mad at him, I wouldn't have started my OP with compliments about how nice he is.

_binary_jester_

Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

As I guy I always find that it is a bit of a mine field trying to figure out the "right" thing to say to compliment a lady without sounding like you are coming onto them.

When I lost 34 pounds, my male coworkers took a LONG time to say anything. When they did, it was just along the lines of, "Have you lost weight? I noticed before, but wasn't sure if I should say something."

It was non-creepy, office-appropriate and let me know people could see my results.

Good advice. That explains why i was dragged into HR. There was this really nice coworker who dropped some weight. To appreciate all her hard work, I walked up to her, performed a "honk honk" with both hands...said "Lookin' bigger" with a wink.

Now I know...and knowing is half the battle.

hbrittingham

I wasn't taking offense at anything he said. It was the phrasing that threw me off. If someone tells me that I look great, I don't assume they mean anything but that I look great. If they say that I am starting to look good, it sounds more like I am only starting to look good rather than I do look good. I am sure a lot of this goes back to having a mom who has never been overweight and is the queen of backhanded compliments. I remember her saying to me one time, "honey, I can tell you've lost weight. Your butt isn't nearly as huge as it used to be". LOL

SwannySez

Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

As I guy I always find that it is a bit of a mine field trying to figure out the "right" thing to say to compliment a lady without sounding like you are coming onto them.

When I lost 34 pounds, my male coworkers took a LONG time to say anything. When they did, it was just along the lines of, "Have you lost weight? I noticed before, but wasn't sure if I should say something."

It was non-creepy, office-appropriate and let me know people could see my results.

Good advice. That explains why i was dragged into HR. There was this really nice coworker who dropped some weight. To appreciate all her hard work, I walked up to her, performed a "honk honk" with both hands...said "Lookin' bigger" with a wink.

Now I know...and knowing is half the battle.

*furiously taking notes*

rml_16

Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

As I guy I always find that it is a bit of a mine field trying to figure out the "right" thing to say to compliment a lady without sounding like you are coming onto them.

When I lost 34 pounds, my male coworkers took a LONG time to say anything. When they did, it was just along the lines of, "Have you lost weight? I noticed before, but wasn't sure if I should say something."

It was non-creepy, office-appropriate and let me know people could see my results.

Good advice. That explains why i was dragged into HR. There was this really nice coworker who dropped some weight. To appreciate all her hard work, I walked up to her, performed a "honk honk" with both hands...said "Lookin' bigger" with a wink.

Now I know...and knowing is half the battle.

Glad I could help. And I hopefully saved your job for you. I think that means you owe me money or something.

_binary_jester_

<snip>
Glad I could help. And I hopefully saved your job for you. I think that means you owe me money or something.

The appropriate checks will be mailed, but it's the postal service, we know how reliable THEY can be.

bzmom

I dont get it you were talking about your clown noser right........

Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

As I guy I always find that it is a bit of a mine field trying to figure out the "right" thing to say to compliment a lady without sounding like you are coming onto them.

When I lost 34 pounds, my male coworkers took a LONG time to say anything. When they did, it was just along the lines of, "Have you lost weight? I noticed before, but wasn't sure if I should say something."

It was non-creepy, office-appropriate and let me know people could see my results.

Good advice. That explains why i was dragged into HR. There was this really nice coworker who dropped some weight. To appreciate all her hard work, I walked up to her, performed a "honk honk" with both hands...said "Lookin' bigger" with a wink.

Now I know...and knowing is half the battle.

bethybear8990

For me, I think it is more of a compliment that he announced it in his booming voice. Now everyone that was around knows that you are starting to meet your goals. I am sure that they could see that you are clearly not a "fat" woman. Its a reason to hold your head high as you are in your gym. Your hard work is paying off and people are taking notice.

yoovie

I would only be offended if it was at a bank or something- I mean, im at the gym to slim down. I'd be so happy if the bank teller winked at me and said- your savings account has been doing well- good job not going shopping :P

rml_16

<snip>
Glad I could help. And I hopefully saved your job for you. I think that means you owe me money or something.

The appropriate checks will be mailed, but it's the postal service, we know how reliable THEY can be.

I'll be waiting by my mailbox.

kennethmgreen

I suspect he was only trying to compliment you. It may have been insensitive, but not intentionally so. We are guys. We mean well. We don't always talk so goodly.

UsedToBeHusky

He's the manager of the gym. He is just trying to encourage you to keep coming.

treetop57

Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

I have it on good authority that the proper way is to cat call and shout out, "Hey baby, you got some fries to go with that shake?"

I read it on the MyFitnessPal message boards, so it's got to be true, right?

grinch031

Doesn't your tracker say you're trying to lose a total of 50 lbs? If that's the case I wouldn't say you were already slim previously, which is why he noticed the difference.

yoovie

Okay, I have to ask: What is the correct way to compliment someone who looks great and is obviously working hard to get there?

My mom always said you can never go wrong with "You look lovely." and a smile.

boomboom011

and we wonder why men dont comment on stuff. they are damned if they do and damned if they dont.

BigDaddyBRC

As I said in my OP, he is a really, really nice person and would never intentionally say anything mean to someone.

And you disagree HOW? Because you interpret what another means without knowing their present thought patterns?

Personally, you are making excuses to dislike the guy for saying something nice. Get over it.

lisakyle_11

honest...? i would be initially annoyed, i just know it.

BUT, yes men are simple creatures and i am sure he only meant to sincerely compliment you. :flowerforyou:

Bentley2718

It was a complement. If it helps, pretend he said "you're really tightening up."

1WorkoutAtATime

Take it as a compliment and move on. Don't over think it.

^^this

becoming_a_new_me

He seems like a friendly guy and most men are not dumb enough to intentionally tell a woman "Hey, you're fat, but you are looking thinner so great job!" He was trying to compliment you. Smile, wave, say thanks, and know that in "male-speak" it means you are hot.

taunto

As a man, There have been many MANY times when I've put foot in my mouth when really I was just trying to compliment a woman. Just smile and politely tell him that while you know his intentions were good, what he said implied that you were fat

TourThePast

As a woman, I was mortified. I felt like he was implying that I am fat and am just starting to get slim.

He was not implying anything.

He was clearly telling you that it was obvious that you are getting visibly slimmer.

Well done.

As the manager of what you agree is a great gym, he obviously wouldn't be commenting loudly about anyone he thought was fat, that would be unprofessional of him. Take it as the compliment / observation that it was clearly meant to be.

fteale

I am always either embarrassed or offended by anyone commenting on my weight. I think it's rude, whichever direction you are commenting in.

honestlysweet

I would be thrilled if someone said this to me. It would show that someone noticed all my hard work.

foster59803

Complement for sure... You should say " thanks, I have been working my *kitten* off... glad it is showing!"