Re Comments: a confession & request for help...

Anderia

Reading through this thread, I understand what you say Evelyn, and I too try and vary my responses - often write several lines (yes I talk too much :laugh: ).

But I have to say, after reading your posts, you have a great imagination and a great way with words, and I am sure whatever you write is appreciated by your friends. :flowerforyou:

I love getting little geeups each day :happy:

Totally agree!

BerryH

I read it and try to make it personal and specific to what my friends are doing. Great run, you were super-speedy today, wow, you got up early today, yum, tasty dinner etc.

nerdyandilikeit

I've started saying 'Hoorah!' in every day life. It's fun.

bridgie101

I'm kind of offended on behalf of all those you wish to throw emotional jollies at, like throwing fish to dol;phins in a swim tank.

Tell the truth or say nothing. If you think someone did well, say well done. If you think something's amazing, say 'amazing'.

But don't lie and don't manipulate and don't sit there working out how to sound sincere as you lay on the honey with a trowel.

I wish to distance myself from all of you. If I say 'wow, that's fantastic' it's because I, at the age of 42, having lived a life, consider it fantastic. not because I'm trying to feed you an emotional lolly to keep you, you poor failure of a person, going One More Day.

What has this world come to?

Well, see, those are some of the problems I have. I don't want to lie or misrepresent myself, or to find myself working hard at "faking sincerity."

If someone's burned 112 calories doing 16.5 minutes of "Something Almost Like Exercise," I'm not going to say "WTG!!! Awesome Burn!!!"
But what am I gonna say? "Nice try"? "Good Start"? "E for Effort?"

And if someone's food diary is full of food choices that, while not truly "bad" ala Doritos and ice cream served over pastrami, aren't choices I would want to make for myself, I'm not going to say "Excellent day!"
But what am I going to say?
(...okay, I got nothing... ....I can't even think up some ridiculous fake thing that I'd never actually say to go here...)

And logging another day under one's calorie goal is an accomplishment, but not really one of full "Yip-yippitty yippee kai-yai-ay!!!" magnitude. "Well done" does work nicely, but how many times?
...Too many "Well done" 's ( <= okay, I have no idea how I should be punctuating that), and I start to feel like I'm ordering a steak. (And I like mine medium rare, anyway .

For things that *are* awesome, I do use "Awesome." But, again, if I use it too many times; I'm afraid I'll revert to the youth I wasted on the early 1980's in California, and start saying things like: "TOT-ally mega-b****in', dude! I mean, like, se-e-eriously!"
(Well, okay - I just might use that one
(ETA: Oops - since the "b-word" is prohibited, I just might not.

(The thing is that any word, repeated enough times, starts to sound nonsensical. Try it - take some utterly unsilly-sounding word, like "incandescent" or "adept," and repeat it over and over and over. By the time you've done fifty repeats, I bet you'll think it'd fit right in with something like "Twas bryllyg, and ye slythy toves; Did gyre and gymble in ye wabe...")

So I can't do "one reponse fits all," because one response *doesn't* fit all. (And because too much repetition leads to me quoting Lewis Carroll in the middle of the night....)

No, I'm not going to say what I don't mean. But sometimes it's tough figuring out how to say what I do mean.

Alright... I'll calm down then. Hmph.

Let me see...


'well, that's better than a smack in teh face with a wet fish'
'well done, you made it through another day'

I dunno. I only speak when I have an inspiration to speak. I don't feel obliged to encourage, because to encourage destabilises. It gives a secondary motivation that you then take away when you're not there, and they might feel a gap.

Likewise, if someone consumes something terrible and is not living as I would think they should live... I keep my mouth shut about it. I overlook it. They're probably cringeing waiting for the mumsy 'why don't you eat up all your greeens, dear! That would be a wonderful next step!' Gah. I don't want to be the person that pours that bucket of dirty water over their head. I politely fail to notice and point out something they have done well... or else, what the heck, share one of my accidental food lapses.

I dunno - just relax.

lisa28115

I'm kind of offended on behalf of all those you wish to throw emotional jollies at, like throwing fish to dol;phins in a swim tank.

Tell the truth or say nothing. If you think someone did well, say well done. If you think something's amazing, say 'amazing'.

But don't lie and don't manipulate and don't sit there working out how to sound sincere as you lay on the honey with a trowel.

I wish to distance myself from all of you. If I say 'wow, that's fantastic' it's because I, at the age of 42, having lived a life, consider it fantastic. not because I'm trying to feed you an emotional lolly to keep you, you poor failure of a person, going One More Day.

What has this world come to?

Well, see, those are some of the problems I have. I don't want to lie or misrepresent myself, or to find myself working hard at "faking sincerity."

If someone's burned 112 calories doing 16.5 minutes of "Something Almost Like Exercise," I'm not going to say "WTG!!! Awesome Burn!!!"
But what am I gonna say? "Nice try"? "Good Start"? "E for Effort?"

And if someone's food diary is full of food choices that, while not truly "bad" ala Doritos and ice cream served over pastrami, aren't choices I would want to make for myself, I'm not going to say "Excellent day!"
But what am I going to say?
(...okay, I got nothing... ....I can't even think up some ridiculous fake thing that I'd never actually say to go here...)

And logging another day under one's calorie goal is an accomplishment, but not really one of full "Yip-yippitty yippee kai-yai-ay!!!" magnitude. "Well done" does work nicely, but how many times?
...Too many "Well done" 's ( <= okay, I have no idea how I should be punctuating that), and I start to feel like I'm ordering a steak. (And I like mine medium rare, anyway .

For things that *are* awesome, I do use "Awesome." But, again, if I use it too many times; I'm afraid I'll revert to the youth I wasted on the early 1980's in California, and start saying things like: "TOT-ally mega-b****in', dude! I mean, like, se-e-eriously!"
(Well, okay - I just might use that one
(ETA: Oops - since the "b-word" is prohibited, I just might not.

(The thing is that any word, repeated enough times, starts to sound nonsensical. Try it - take some utterly unsilly-sounding word, like "incandescent" or "adept," and repeat it over and over and over. By the time you've done fifty repeats, I bet you'll think it'd fit right in with something like "Twas bryllyg, and ye slythy toves; Did gyre and gymble in ye wabe...")

So I can't do "one reponse fits all," because one response *doesn't* fit all. (And because too much repetition leads to me quoting Lewis Carroll in the middle of the night....)

No, I'm not going to say what I don't mean. But sometimes it's tough figuring out how to say what I do mean.

Alright... I'll calm down then. Hmph.

Let me see...


'well, that's better than a smack in teh face with a wet fish'
'well done, you made it through another day'

I dunno. I only speak when I have an inspiration to speak. I don't feel obliged to encourage, because to encourage destabilises. It gives a secondary motivation that you then take away when you're not there, and they might feel a gap.

Likewise, if someone consumes something terrible and is not living as I would think they should live... I keep my mouth shut about it. I overlook it. They're probably cringeing waiting for the mumsy 'why don't you eat up all your greeens, dear! That would be a wonderful next step!' Gah. I don't want to be the person that pours that bucket of dirty water over their head. I politely fail to notice and point out something they have done well... or else, what the heck, share one of my accidental food lapses.

I dunno - just relax.

PLEASE PRACTICE WHAT YOU ARE PREACHING AND DON'T SPEAK OR RESPOND

Evelyn_Gorfram

...to encourage destabilises. It gives a secondary motivation that you then take away when you're not there, and they might feel a gap.

(The following may or may not be a rant. I'm not really fit to judge at the moment, which itself means that this is indeed very likely to be a rant.)

Hunh? Er?? Did you just say that what I think you just said???

You know, just having friends on MFP, or even using the MFP website, could be destabilizing in the same way, giving us all a secondary motivation. What if someday the site goes down? We all might feel a rather large gap.

In fact, maybe we shouldn't make friends online or off, ever; because it's inevitable that people will drift away, or move someplace inconveniently remote, or die, or something; and then we indeed do feel a truly large and unhappy gap.

Really, this whole human civilization thing - driving cars, living in houses, organizing governments and societies - is destabilizing as all get out. Cars crash, houses burn down or fall down, governments go to war, societies collapse - what a gawdawful mess. Better we should all huddle alone in damp and solitary caves, because as long as we have nothing to lose, there's no risk of our losing it.

(Yeah... that probably was a rant.)

Arrica

I also use some the comments you use also for the exercise comments. What I do like to do for some of my mfp friends who have their food diary open, is to make a personal comment based on the foods/meals. I've found some great ideas from them and appreciate their openness with the food diaries. This way I get to know the person better, it's kinda like sharing a meal. :flowerforyou:

Yes!! This! I will look at their diaries and make a comment about trying something they have listed or make a comment about wanting to try this or that exercise myself.

lisa28115

...to encourage destabilises. It gives a secondary motivation that you then take away when you're not there, and they might feel a gap.

(The following may or may not be a rant. I'm not really fit to judge at the moment, which itself means that this is indeed very likely to be a rant.)

Hunh? Er?? Did you just say that what I think you just said???

You know, just having friends on MFP, or even using the MFP website, could be destabilizing in the same way, giving us all a secondary motivation. What if someday the site goes down? We all might feel a rather large gap.

In fact, maybe we shouldn't make friends online or off, ever; because it's inevitable that people will drift away, or move someplace inconveniently remote, or die, or something; and then we indeed do feel a truly large and unhappy gap.

Really, this whole human civilization thing - driving cars, living in houses, organizing governments and societies - is destabilizing as all get out. Cars crash, houses burn down or fall down, governments go to war, societies collapse - what a gawdawful mess. Better we should all huddle alone in damp and solitary caves, because as long as we have nothing to lose, there's no risk of our losing it.

(Yeah... that probably was a rant.)

Miss Evelyn you do have a way with words. :bigsmile: