Overweight people putting me down

funkycamper

I've always thought it quite rude to make judgment comments on people's weight - whether we think they're too fat OR too thin - and especially on what they're eating. Good grief!

Something to consider, though, when folks make comments about you becoming anorexic, or you're going to blow away in the wind, is that our society has become so much heavier, that what is truly a healthy weight now does look unusually thin. My daughter is 15 and weighs about 112 pounds. She is slender but not extremely so, but people refer to her as "tiny" all the time. Interesting thing is that she can wear my jeans from college - I was considered average in college, not tiny. Those were size 6 or 8 jeans in 1988 or so; now my daughter wears about a 2 or 3 in today's sizing. What we consider average, too thin, and overweight has completely evolved to the point where yesterday's average is today's "too thin".

It's still completely wrong, though, to comment to someone! Also, they may think that by saying you're too thin, they're paying you a complement.

This x1000.

It really disgusted and saddened me when I read that the Washington State ferry system downgraded the occupancy limits on the ferries by about 15%, IIRC, because people are so much bigger now.

Rhea30

I've always thought it quite rude to make judgment comments on people's weight - whether we think they're too fat OR too thin - and especially on what they're eating. Good grief!

Something to consider, though, when folks make comments about you becoming anorexic, or you're going to blow away in the wind, is that our society has become so much heavier, that what is truly a healthy weight now does look unusually thin. My daughter is 15 and weighs about 112 pounds. She is slender but not extremely so, but people refer to her as "tiny" all the time. Interesting thing is that she can wear my jeans from college - I was considered average in college, not tiny. Those were size 6 or 8 jeans in 1988 or so; now my daughter wears about a 2 or 3 in today's sizing. What we consider average, too thin, and overweight has completely evolved to the point where yesterday's average is today's "too thin".

It's still completely wrong, though, to comment to someone! Also, they may think that by saying you're too thin, they're paying you a complement.

This x1000.

It really disgusted and saddened me when I read that the Washington State ferry system downgraded the occupancy limits on the ferries by about 15%, IIRC, because people are so much bigger now.

I agree, one of my friends was looked down on because she was really skinny. She would eat but she had a hard time putting on weight and I know it bothered her how people always talked about her, her neighbors would go to her parents about how skinny she was, etc. It was sad really.

Monti_e_lmt

All the comments about being insulted for eating healthy reminds me of this forum you gotta read it!


http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/522231-grocery-store-rant-some-people-are-idiots

Amy911Gray

Early on in this change, a MFP friend and I went to a local restaurant. We started looking up choices in MFP, and the waitress came back to the table to take our order at least three times and the second time (we weren't ready) had this look that we were not paying attention to ordering, just playing with our phones.

Now my husband has me do this for him too

Alicia7896

A few years ago, I lost 45 lbs relatively quickly. I wasn't skinny by any means--I'm 5'10", and I was down to somewhere between a size 12 and a size 14, but I found out some of my coworkers were saying that I was starving myself, even saying that I was in treatment for an eating disorder. *pfft* Haters gonna hate.

TheBraveryLover

Sorry you're going through that. It's the main reason none of my co-workers or random people know about what I do. I do what I do discreetly and, therefore, don't have to hear the questioning. You might benefit from doing your scanning and calorie checks when others aren't around.

It might also be their backhanded way of complimenting you by questioning why you would want to lose weight when you already look good. Keep doing what you want to do for yourself, and try to ignore them.

TheBraveryLover

Ok unpopular opinion alert..

I think being on this site gives posters a false view on the majority atitude towards diet & Fitness out in the real world.

Most people never think about their health until they get sick or get an injury, most pople are contented with their lives/bodies/food choices untill it starts to cause them problems. As the focus of this website is fitness & diet it is correct to assume that everyone here is looking to make a change to their previous food & fitness choices & as such we are pretty much all in agreement that 1) eating better or in healthier portion sizes is the way forward 2) getting some kind of increased physical activity will improve not only our healthy but our overall general appearance.

What alot of posters on this & other fitness/diet sites forget is that not everyone gives a crap about having muscle tone, thigh gaps or wherever else it might be we (general) are trying to achieve so any difference to what they consider normal food or normal weight & activity concerns or confuses them.

This idea that they are "all" jealous is wrong imo, some people just thnk that if you look ok, are generally in good health & happy then why you would want to change yourself.

It is lack of understanding of your goals rather than jealousy.

Explain your goals or your reasons for the changes & try to do it in a way that is non judgmental of their choices. Their concern & comments however insensitive might actually be genuine interest or concern for your wellbeing, most people have no idea what a healthy lifestyle or what a healthy goal weight is.

Remember, this is YOUR choice, not everyone has to agree with you or support you.

Amazing post. I totally agree. Many people on MFP (not in reference to the OP) tend to think the way we MFPers think is the way most people outside of this site think, and nothing could be further from the truth. It's the reason I keep my "lifestyle" separate from my work and romance relationships. Only close friends and family know about my change. That's all who needs to know.

Chubbyhulagirl

It's the crab syndrome....if you put one crab in a pot, you have to put a lid on it. If you put two in the pot, you can leave the lid off. As soon as one tries to climb out the other will pull it back in.

While we are not working our goals, we're in the pot with the other crabs. Once we start working on our goals, we try to climb out - the other crabs cannot do anything other than try to pull you back in. Oh, sure - they try to use nice phrases like, "Oh you don't need to - you look fine", but what they're really doing is pulling you back in. Climb out and then try to pull them out. Once they see your freedom on the outside, having reached your goal, they might try to climb out. The others will try to pull them back, just like they did to you. Be there with a supporting arm to pull them out and reach their goals!!

In any case, remember - you're working toward you goal - be excited and go for it!

This!

strawberrie_milk

Sounds like jealousy to me. They are trying to convince themselves that they are better off being fat because they don't have the discipline to stick with a proper diet.