Steroids and Dating and Attraction

SezxyStef

THIS IS AN OPEN DISCUSSION.

Okay let's face it, women love muscles and are immediately attracted to a strong looking male - sociobiological theory and whatnot. That said, the temptation of anabolic steroids or prohormones or anything of the sort is pretty strong amongst men, whether they admit it or not. I, for one, have FLEETINGLY (I stress fleetingly here) thought about it. I'd never ever do it though, as I've come to the simple conclusion that I would not be happy with myself if I did (not even going into the illegality of it - not worth it). I could never be proud of my accomplishments, although I do agree it takes massive amounts of work as well. I simply could not respect myself for going that route. I'm young enough where I can still reach my genetic limit by the time I'm in my lower/mid-30s, and I'm more than fine with that.

QUESTION FOR THE WOMEN: Would you ever date/marry a man who has used/uses steroids or prohormones? Would you be able to respect them? Because after the first impressions of physical attraction, a conscious effort has to be made to overcome that, once knowing he shoots himself in the butt with steroids lol. Would that be morally a dealbreaker for you? Granted, this may be a morality issue, as I'm sure lots of people here use recreational drugs and whatnot and steroids can be arguably defended as safer than prescription pill poppers looking to get high.

That is not true for all women...I prefer my man and what he looks like...he is not "muscled"...he is fit...

I would not date or marry anyone who took steriods mainly because of the other side effects. For me it's not moral it's a health issue....and I have little to no respect for men who take the shortcuts...there is one here in town and he is such a knob and "angry".

Someone who smokes some pot is way different then someone to lazy to work hard to get built and considering all the effects..yah no.

SezxyStef

I'm 40 next month, low self esteem has been ingrained in me since childhood. How do I work on it?

Fake it till you make it...

Howdoyoufeeltoday

I would. I wouldn't go seeking out a guy on steroids but I think there's a lot of misconceptions about them and the people who take them. Not everyone who takes them is a crazy rage monster. I know people who have used them and they were date-able men.

moya_rargh

I'm 40 next month, low self esteem has been ingrained in me since childhood. How do I work on it?

Fake it till you make it...

How exactly do I go about faking it? Do you have any examples to hand?

Affecting a fake, arrogant personality would just make me look like a d*** and become a laughing stock.

Marcia315

I probably would not be attracted to a man who uses steroids for the simple reason that he would not be my type physically; I'm not a fan of muscles. For example, my man is tall and skinny fat but very handsome and I'm very attracted to him on a physical level. To be perfectly honest, if I'm going to date somebody I'm looking at the entire package and not just wrapping paper because there are certain traits that will be dealbreakers regardless of how good a man happens to look.

What about being 5ft 8? That's deemed WAY too short for dating these days. Won't more muscle make a short guy look more like a man, not a boy?

My husband is 5'6".

Your problem isn't your height.

Marcia315

All so confusing. Everybody says "don't do them" but I need to get a man's body so that women will look at me like one.

Again- this is not about muscles, it's clear you have low self esteem. Try working on coming across as more confident, girls LOVE confidence in a man! It's true. Being friendly, confident, and not shy and awkward will really make a huge difference. My current boyfriend doesn't have muscles and I really do not care whatsoever. Funny and charming beats out big muscles any day of the week. Also, if you're just going after girls who would be into big muscly guys and nothing else, you gotta ask yourself- why are you into shallow girls?? Try looking for someone with substance, who cares more about your personality than your looks.

"Just be confident." It's amazing how people think you just flick a switch and there it is. How and where do I get confidence from when:

1. I have an ugly face.
2. I am short.
3. I am skinny.
4. I am old.
5. I have no money left after having to fight through court for years to see my child who my ex stopped me from seeing for no other reason than wanting to play happy families with a new guy.
6. Notwithstanding the above, I seem to have a gene that makes women look at me and instantly think: "Ewwwww! He's disgusting, I'm not even going to treat him with base level courtesy." I can't explain it. I feel utterly ashamed of myself for being so repulsive as to elicit that response. The last woman I was attracted to tried to get me fired for it (I didn't even ask her out, there was nothing inappropriate involved) and has smeared my name in the office amongst the women there. I cry every night after coming home, I hate it so much. I feel so grubby.

Read my profile synopsis. That's how I feel about myself through years of being made to feel like a leper for being a 'skinny little boy.' If I looked like a man, I would be treated differently. I don't go for shallow women, they just hate me for being repulsive. I hate myself so much for it.

So yeah, confidence in the face of a world telling me that I'm too s*** to be a part of it. Where do I buy it again?

Based solely on your profile and pictures, I believe that you could meet women just fine if your mentality wasn't such a downer! Confidence and a positive attitude are sexy to women. Self-loathing can make even the most beautiful man in the world unattractive. That's just my two cents.

What she said.

lolosensan

I don't know if this has been posted, but in my experience, women are about as attracted to men with muscles as men are to thin women... Men think we're attracted to the ULTRA muscular when in fact most of us are thinking "ew gross!" Just like women think men want skinny skinny skinny when in fact most like a little cushion! I think we all think we need to live up to some crazy standard for the opposite sex when really everyone is in search of healthy. Also I heard this the other day, made me laugh: "abs on a skinny guy are like boobs on a fat girl."

Myhaloslipped

I'm 40 next month, low self esteem has been ingrained in me since childhood. How do I work on it?

Fake it till you make it...

How exactly do I go about faking it? Do you have any examples to hand?

Affecting a fake, arrogant personality would just make me look like a d*** and become a laughing stock.

Idk, but if you want to "get it" with the ladies, start with keeping quiet about your complaints about everything that you hate about yourself. Nobody wants to listen to that. You don't have to fake being arrogant, because that is also a turn off. However, I would start with this.

annie61702

I'm 40 next month, low self esteem has been ingrained in me since childhood. How do I work on it?

Find something you are good at and passionate about. Focus on improving yourself, not just physically but mentally, too. Don't tell people the negative things you feel about yourself. There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance. Trust me, there are tons of women out there who don't care that you are 5'8" - but no one likes a Debbie Downer. And you are not ugly. So I have to think it's your attitude that turns women off. Also, 40ish is not old! LOL

Myhaloslipped

I'm 40 next month, low self esteem has been ingrained in me since childhood. How do I work on it?

Find something you are good at and passionate about. Focus on improving yourself, not just physically but mentally, too. Don't tell people the negative things you feel about yourself. There is a huge difference between confidence and arrogance. Trust me, there are tons of women out there who don't care that you are 5'8" - but no one likes a Debbie Downer. And you are not ugly. So I have to think it's your attitude that turns women off. Also, 40ish is not old! LOL

Agreed. I am 5'7", and several years ago, I never saw myself dating someone below 6 feet purely because I like to wear heels. I dated a hot, sweet, funny, badass marine for a few months who was 5'6"", and it was one of the most fun and sexy relationships I had ever had. We all have our preferences physically, but personality traits can outweigh those preferences and render them irrelevant.

knra_grl

NO

I never read all the replies but if anyone in here is using them ... STOP IT!!!

Short Story but it's true. I worked with a young lad who used steroids in his teens and early 20's. He ended up having all kinds of health issues and when he stopped (who knows if he ever really did) he turned to alcohol. Sure he had muscles but he was not healthy. He was messed up big time, nice kid I felt sorry for him. He ended up alienated from his family and had very little support. The end result - major mental health issues and eventual suicide.

Men who are fit and healthy are attractive - but honestly everyone has their own qualities that make them attractive whether it's pysical or not. I like a good sense of humour, honesty and someone who is NICE to other people. You don't need to have a great body to be attractive - it's in each and every one of us.

purplishblue

All so confusing. Everybody says "don't do them" but I need to get a man's body so that women will look at me like one.

Again- this is not about muscles, it's clear you have low self esteem. Try working on coming across as more confident, girls LOVE confidence in a man! It's true. Being friendly, confident, and not shy and awkward will really make a huge difference. My current boyfriend doesn't have muscles and I really do not care whatsoever. Funny and charming beats out big muscles any day of the week. Also, if you're just going after girls who would be into big muscly guys and nothing else, you gotta ask yourself- why are you into shallow girls?? Try looking for someone with substance, who cares more about your personality than your looks.

"Just be confident." It's amazing how people think you just flick a switch and there it is. How and where do I get confidence from when:

1. I have an ugly face.
2. I am short.
3. I am skinny.
4. I am old.
5. I have no money left after having to fight through court for years to see my child who my ex stopped me from seeing for no other reason than wanting to play happy families with a new guy.
6. Notwithstanding the above, I seem to have a gene that makes women look at me and instantly think: "Ewwwww! He's disgusting, I'm not even going to treat him with base level courtesy." I can't explain it. I feel utterly ashamed of myself for being so repulsive as to elicit that response. The last woman I was attracted to tried to get me fired for it (I didn't even ask her out, there was nothing inappropriate involved) and has smeared my name in the office amongst the women there. I cry every night after coming home, I hate it so much. I feel so grubby.

Read my profile synopsis. That's how I feel about myself through years of being made to feel like a leper for being a 'skinny little boy.' If I looked like a man, I would be treated differently. I don't go for shallow women, they just hate me for being repulsive. I hate myself so much for it.

So yeah, confidence in the face of a world telling me that I'm too s*** to be a part of it. Where do I buy it again?

I absolutely did not say "just be confident" No one can just magically be confident when they previously were not. What I'm saying is to come across confident... there is a difference. It's clear you feel really horrible about yourself, which I'm really sorry to hear... honestly I really do think you should work on yourself (inside, not outside) until you even think about trying to date. Do you see a psychotherapist? You should really try it if not, to try to work on your low self esteem issues. THIS is the real issue here, and you can improve it! And like I said, once you start coming across as more confident, you will be amazed at the way people change how they act/react to you. I looked at your pics and I'm confused, you're just a regular looking guy... I think you're really seeing something that isn't there. The thing is, I know you won't believe that. It really is therapy that will change things here, not just some drugs.

WhoHa42

Used to be completely against steroids til I learned more about them. Have never used anything but most likely will in the future after I reach my goals. I compete in powerlifting and steroids are a tool to take you to the next level and it's not cheating because everyone at that level is on them. Personally I won't even consider taking them until I hit certain weights in each lift. The only people I look down on that take steroids are the people that take them as soon as or soon after they start lifting. I don't look down on pro athletes that take them because most pro athletes are on them, so it's not cheating, just evening the playing field.

WhoHa42

NO

I never read all the replies but if anyone in here is using them ... STOP IT!!!

Short Story but it's true. I worked with a young lad who used steroids in his teens and early 20's. He ended up having all kinds of health issues and when he stopped (who knows if he ever really did) he turned to alcohol. Sure he had muscles but he was not healthy. He was messed up big time, nice kid I felt sorry for him. He ended up alienated from his family and had very little support. The end result - major mental health issues and eventual suicide.

Men who are fit and healthy are attractive - but honestly everyone has their own qualities that make them attractive whether it's pysical or not. I like a good sense of humour, honesty and someone who is NICE to other people. You don't need to have a great body to be attractive - it's in each and every one of us.

Steroids work a lot like alcohol. If you're an *kitten*, steroids/alcohol will turn you into a huge *kitten*. If you have an addictive personality, steroids/alcohol will promote that.

But these people are the minority. Saying that steroids will cause health issues and suicide if you take them is false. Steroids have been used in medicine for decades. It's all about the quantity, quality, knowledge, and the individuals personality.

tigerblood78

Never used them. Wouldn't consider using steroids per se. But if I could easily get my hands on some HGH I might try it just to see what it's like. Not so much for looks but for performance.
I don't respect professional athletes you take them. Although I'm sure most of them do. But I really don't care if average Joe takes them. As long as he doesn't act like he did it naturally.

f1redshoes

Agreed. I am 5'7", and several years ago, I never saw myself dating someone below 6 feet purely because I like to wear heels. I dated a hot, sweet, funny, badass marine for a few months who was 5'6"", and it was one of the most fun and sexy relationships I had ever had. We all have our preferences physically, but personality traits can outweigh those preferences and render them irrelevant.

I'm 5' 2" and have had several neck and shoulder injuries, so looking up for any length of time is painful. The *maximum* height I'd date these would be 5' 10", so I don't have to look up much. I think the last few guys I've been interested in have all been 5' 8" or below. One dance partner of mine is lucky if he's 5' 7" and I'm still shorter than him in 3-inch heels!

On the steroid front? I wouldn't date someone using them, or who HAD used them, to gain muscle. I've had steroid injections (cortisone) twice before, for a chronic muscle tear and a chronic ligament tear, but that's my limit for me and for anyone I'd date. I'd rather a guy be slightly on the skinny side than bigger from steroids. Mind you, if a guy is going to be muscular and date me, I'd rather he got like that from a sport (I love dancers, swimmers, gymnasts, martial artists) rather than the gym anyway, so it's never really an issue with the guys I'm into

WhoHa42

One more thing, everyone in this thread should go watch Bigger, Stronger, Faster. It's a documentary about steroids and society's perception of them. Also do some research on the subject. A lot of what is being said in this thread is completely false information that people always spread.

knra_grl

NO

I never read all the replies but if anyone in here is using them ... STOP IT!!!

Short Story but it's true. I worked with a young lad who used steroids in his teens and early 20's. He ended up having all kinds of health issues and when he stopped (who knows if he ever really did) he turned to alcohol. Sure he had muscles but he was not healthy. He was messed up big time, nice kid I felt sorry for him. He ended up alienated from his family and had very little support. The end result - major mental health issues and eventual suicide.

Men who are fit and healthy are attractive - but honestly everyone has their own qualities that make them attractive whether it's pysical or not. I like a good sense of humour, honesty and someone who is NICE to other people. You don't need to have a great body to be attractive - it's in each and every one of us.

Steroids work a lot like alcohol. If you're an *kitten*, steroids/alcohol will turn you into a huge *kitten*. If you have an addictive personality, steroids/alcohol will promote that.

But these people are the minority. Saying that steroids will cause health issues and suicide if you take them is false. Steroids have been used in medicine for decades. It's all about the quantity, quality, knowledge, and the individuals personality.

Well good luck to you...if you do something every day or even 3 or 4 times a week you will eventually come to rely on it like an alcoholic does. It's like an alcoholic say I'm not an alcoholic because I just sit in my garage everynight and only have a few beer (I only used that example because I am close to someone like that). No he is still an alcoholic.

I understand that people want to test their limits and push their bodies but what's wrong with doing it naturally without enhancements? That's a far better measure of your NATURAL abilities than enhancing them to do more. Just saying and not going to get into a big debate over it.

It's a free world - if want to mess with their health it's their choice - :ohwell:

WhoHa42

The dependency in steroids is psychological, unlike say amphetamines which are a physical and psychological addiction. That's why I was saying it depends on the person's personality. Also, in my first post I was saying how I wouldn't even consider them until I reached a certain goal naturally. There's things you simply can't do unless you're no steroids. Just because one person has a goal of seeing how far they can take their body naturally and another just wants to see how far they can take their body doesn't mean one is right and the other is wrong and it certainly doesn't mean the unnatural one is an addict.

dakotababy

I would consider dating a guy who has TRIED steroids, but if they were currently using steroids - than absolutely no. Especially if it is for reasons like "to attract females". It screams insecurity. Steroids also have negative symptoms like a small **** and a nasty attitude at times.