Vogue writer puts 7-year-old on diet Britni Danielle
JoJo_fat2fab
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I read this article, and I'm just lost for words! What do you think?
---- In the April issue of Vogue, socialite Dara-Lynn Weiss shares her story of putting her “obese” seven-year-old daughter, Bea, on a diet.
While some might sympathize with Weiss had her daughter actually been obese, was bullied by her peers, or struggled to engage in normal physical activity, many see her tactics as extreme and possibly damaging to her daughter’s self-esteem.
In the article Weiss admitted to her own struggles with weight. Throughout the years, she said she tried everything from juice fasts and Weight Watchers, to dangerous diet pills and Atkins to curb her weight, but unfortunately it seems as though she transfered her body image hangups to her daughter.
One day, after Bea came home in tears because a boy in her class called her fat, Weiss decided to do something.
She writes:
One day Bea came home from school in tears, confessing that a boy at school had called her fat. The incident crushed me, but it was a wake-up call. Being overweight is not a private struggle. Everyone can see it.
Never mind that young boys call girls names for all sorts of irrational reasons at that age, Weiss felt her daughter’s weight was an issue everyone could see. And after Bea’s doctor told her to be mindful of her daughter’s weight (she was 93 lbs. and 4’4” tall), Weiss set out to fix her daughter.
Instead of gently cutting back on unhealthy snacks and increasing her daughter’s physical activity, Weiss took things to the extreme, sometimes refusing to give her daughter dinner and often becoming irate when she ate “bad” snacks.
Weiss remembers:
I once reproachfully deprived Bea of her dinner after learning that her observation of French Heritage Day at school involved nearly 800 calories of Brie, filet mignon, baguette, and chocolate. I stopped letting her enjoy Pizza Fridays when she admitted to adding a corn salad as a side dish one week. I dressed down a Starbucks barista when he professed ignorance of the nutrition content of the kids’ hot chocolate whose calories are listed as “120-210″ on the menu board: Well, which is it? When he couldn’t provide an answer, I dramatically grabbed the drink out of my daughter’s hands, poured it into the garbage, and stormed out.
I cringe when I recall the many times I had it out with Bea over a snack given to her by a friend’s parent or caregiver … rather than direct my irritation at the grown-up, I often derided Bea for not refusing the inappropriate snack. And there have been many awkward moments at parties, when Bea has wanted to eat, say, both cookies and cake, and I’ve engaged in a heated public discussion about why she can’t.
Did all of her ranting and raving work? Yes…little Bea lost a 16 pounds in a year. But while her mother is satisfied with the results (and even bought Bea a slew of new dresses to celebrate), Bea can forget about enjoying snacks again like a regular child, her moms says the seven-year-old will always struggle with her weight–and I’m sure, her mother will always be watching.
So, how does Bea feel about her year-long journey to lose weight? Unlike her mother who feels like Bea’s new frame means she’s an entirely new person, Bea says she’s still the same.
When I ask her if she likes how she looks now, if she’s proud of what she’s accomplished, she says yes…Even so, the person she used to be still weighs on her. Tears of pain fill her eyes as she reflects on her yearlong journey. “That’s still me,” she says of her former self. “I’m not a different person just because I lost sixteen pounds.” I protest that, indeed, she is different. At this moment, that fat girl is a thing of the past. A tear rolls down her beautiful cheek, past the glued-in feather. “Just because it’s in the past,” she says, “doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”
Well…at least one of them has some sense!
---- In the April issue of Vogue, socialite Dara-Lynn Weiss shares her story of putting her “obese” seven-year-old daughter, Bea, on a diet.
While some might sympathize with Weiss had her daughter actually been obese, was bullied by her peers, or struggled to engage in normal physical activity, many see her tactics as extreme and possibly damaging to her daughter’s self-esteem.
In the article Weiss admitted to her own struggles with weight. Throughout the years, she said she tried everything from juice fasts and Weight Watchers, to dangerous diet pills and Atkins to curb her weight, but unfortunately it seems as though she transfered her body image hangups to her daughter.
One day, after Bea came home in tears because a boy in her class called her fat, Weiss decided to do something.
She writes:
One day Bea came home from school in tears, confessing that a boy at school had called her fat. The incident crushed me, but it was a wake-up call. Being overweight is not a private struggle. Everyone can see it.
Never mind that young boys call girls names for all sorts of irrational reasons at that age, Weiss felt her daughter’s weight was an issue everyone could see. And after Bea’s doctor told her to be mindful of her daughter’s weight (she was 93 lbs. and 4’4” tall), Weiss set out to fix her daughter.
Instead of gently cutting back on unhealthy snacks and increasing her daughter’s physical activity, Weiss took things to the extreme, sometimes refusing to give her daughter dinner and often becoming irate when she ate “bad” snacks.
Weiss remembers:
I once reproachfully deprived Bea of her dinner after learning that her observation of French Heritage Day at school involved nearly 800 calories of Brie, filet mignon, baguette, and chocolate. I stopped letting her enjoy Pizza Fridays when she admitted to adding a corn salad as a side dish one week. I dressed down a Starbucks barista when he professed ignorance of the nutrition content of the kids’ hot chocolate whose calories are listed as “120-210″ on the menu board: Well, which is it? When he couldn’t provide an answer, I dramatically grabbed the drink out of my daughter’s hands, poured it into the garbage, and stormed out.
I cringe when I recall the many times I had it out with Bea over a snack given to her by a friend’s parent or caregiver … rather than direct my irritation at the grown-up, I often derided Bea for not refusing the inappropriate snack. And there have been many awkward moments at parties, when Bea has wanted to eat, say, both cookies and cake, and I’ve engaged in a heated public discussion about why she can’t.
Did all of her ranting and raving work? Yes…little Bea lost a 16 pounds in a year. But while her mother is satisfied with the results (and even bought Bea a slew of new dresses to celebrate), Bea can forget about enjoying snacks again like a regular child, her moms says the seven-year-old will always struggle with her weight–and I’m sure, her mother will always be watching.
So, how does Bea feel about her year-long journey to lose weight? Unlike her mother who feels like Bea’s new frame means she’s an entirely new person, Bea says she’s still the same.
When I ask her if she likes how she looks now, if she’s proud of what she’s accomplished, she says yes…Even so, the person she used to be still weighs on her. Tears of pain fill her eyes as she reflects on her yearlong journey. “That’s still me,” she says of her former self. “I’m not a different person just because I lost sixteen pounds.” I protest that, indeed, she is different. At this moment, that fat girl is a thing of the past. A tear rolls down her beautiful cheek, past the glued-in feather. “Just because it’s in the past,” she says, “doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”
Well…at least one of them has some sense!
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Replies
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Thank you for alerting me *NOT* to buy Vogue. Ever again.
smh0 -
DCF needs to pay this ***** a visit.0
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It should be titled, "How to give your daughter an eating disorder" This is awful.0
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The sad thing is that we only read this because she works at Vogue, but I know there's a lot more moms that do this every day.0
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Does the article paint her in a good light for doing these things? Or is there a "and then I learned not to be so horrible" happy ending?
Ugh. Doesn't matter.
Showing this kind of behavior in a magazine with that large of readership is plain irresponsible.0 -
This is so sad on so many levels. She should be teaching her daughter healthy habits. Seems like instead of the boys bullying her, now her own mother does.0
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Wow that parent went about everything completely wrong. Wish the mom would have done swaps with the girls food to provide healthier options not refusing dinner and scolding for eating an unhealthy snack.
The mom allowing her child to be obese should have alerted cps. Because it didnt, this child was humiliated and degraded due to poor food choices and the mom and daughter not exercicing or walking together. The mother was neglecting the childs health for some time...the problem isnt the childs weight!0 -
This is so sad on so many levels. She should be teaching her daughter healthy habits. Seems like instead of the boys bullying her, now her own mother does.
Yes really sad. This child is going to have a lot of self esteem issues.0 -
Here's the link to the story. It has a pic of her and her daughter.
http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/vouge-writer-puts-7-year-old-on-a-diet/0 -
I hate Vogue. I think it is one of the most boring, superficial, and disgusting magazines out there.
Here is one thing that this brought to my mind: The 10 year old model controversy. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2022305/Thylane-Lena-Rose-Blondeau-Shocking-images-10-YEAR-OLD-Vogue-model.html
Also, they use really odd photos. This was considered this years "body" lol
http://www.catwalkqueen.tv/2011/12/franca_sozzani_karlie_kloss_photo.html
I hate Vogue so much...:mad:0 -
Vogue is an amazing magazine. I wouldn't let one writers article (if real at all) divert your judgement. However, each to their own
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Yikes. How about getting the girl involved in sports or something to make her more active instead of hounding her about everything she's eating? Unbelievable.0
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That is so sad. Her daughter is going to have body image issues for the rest of her life. She should have took her daughter outside and went biking with her, walking, etc. instead of putting her on an extreme diet and forbidding her meals.0
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That's just messed up! The kid isn't even close to being overweight!!! What's the matter with this woman. The poor kid has a lifetime of being knocked back by complete strangers (over nothing) at least give some support from the family unit.0
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That poor baby.
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She's a vain arsehole with pathetic parenting skills. Unfortunately nobody can stop the stupid from reproducing, but I feel for that little girl.0
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ok, so everyone is slamming the mum....
what would you do if your daughter came home crying because she was teased for being fat?
i have an acquantance who is fat, and her partner is fat, both morbidly obese, and their 6 year old daughter came home after being teased for being fat. she just told her daughter, you are perfect.
that, is, also wrong. when a 6 year old is getting on the chubby side, and wanted to talk about it, her mum just told her she was perfect. the parents are terrible role models and are 2 of the most unhealthy people i've ever met.
so somewhere in the middle, i guess there is middle ground. i know you have to be a positive role model, and encourage them to exercise and encourage them to eat well, but it's hard. when there are constant junk food treats left right and centre from school, friends, birthdays, nannas etc. i exercise, i eat loads of vegies and fruit and natural yoghurt, lentils, all the good stuff, i hope it's enough for my kids.0 -
ok, so everyone is slamming the mum....
what would you do if your daughter came home crying because she was teased for being fat?
i have an acquantance who is fat, and her partner is fat, both morbidly obese, and their 6 year old daughter came home after being teased for being fat. she just told her daughter, you are perfect.
that, is, also wrong. when a 6 year old is getting on the chubby side, and wanted to talk about it, her mum just told her she was perfect. the parents are terrible role models and are 2 of the most unhealthy people i've ever met.
so somewhere in the middle, i guess there is middle ground. i know you have to be a positive role model, and encourage them to exercise and encourage them to eat well, but it's hard. when there are constant junk food treats left right and centre from school, friends, birthdays, nannas etc. i exercise, i eat loads of vegies and fruit and natural yoghurt, lentils, all the good stuff, i hope it's enough for my kids.
I don't think it's a bad thing to encourage better eating habits and more activity, but the fact that the mom was hounding her daughter and nagging her about her food choices is absurd to me to do to a child. All it does is make food "the bad guy." If my daughter were being teased for being fat, and she was indeed medically overweight and too inactive, I'd encourage her to get out more. Take her out and go for a walk 3-4 times per week, cook better quality meals for everyone not just her, get her involved in sports, etc.
It should be less about body image and more about quality of life.0 -
That's absoluetely shocking! I really hope the poor child gets over it in time and learns to eat healthily and enjoy life instead of being obsessed by body image. She's only 7 for gods sake!!!0
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ok, so everyone is slamming the mum....
what would you do if your daughter came home crying because she was teased for being fat?
i have an acquantance who is fat, and her partner is fat, both morbidly obese, and their 6 year old daughter came home after being teased for being fat. she just told her daughter, you are perfect.
that, is, also wrong. when a 6 year old is getting on the chubby side, and wanted to talk about it, her mum just told her she was perfect. the parents are terrible role models and are 2 of the most unhealthy people i've ever met.
so somewhere in the middle, i guess there is middle ground. i know you have to be a positive role model, and encourage them to exercise and encourage them to eat well, but it's hard. when there are constant junk food treats left right and centre from school, friends, birthdays, nannas etc. i exercise, i eat loads of vegies and fruit and natural yoghurt, lentils, all the good stuff, i hope it's enough for my kids.
I wouldn't do what this *kitten* has done. I wouldn't deny her meals, (especially when she's been honest about the things she's eaten), I wouldn't berate her, I wouldn't humiliate her at home, in public and then in the press, I wouldn't give her negative ideas about food and healthy living.
This mother needs more than criticism, she needs professional guidance regarding her own issues and how not to lumber your 7-year old with the same guilt.
A positive role model and healthy options is what her daughter needed, and the option to just be a child on occasion. Surely you see that this woman has been too extreme and biased toward a 'Vogue' ideal of body image.
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My mom used to get on me about food when I was a kid... I think it ended up having the opposite effect for me. It drove me to hide food, and binge eat when she wasn't around.0
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ok, so everyone is slamming the mum....
what would you do if your daughter came home crying because she was teased for being fat?
i have an acquantance who is fat, and her partner is fat, both morbidly obese, and their 6 year old daughter came home after being teased for being fat. she just told her daughter, you are perfect.
that, is, also wrong. when a 6 year old is getting on the chubby side, and wanted to talk about it, her mum just told her she was perfect. the parents are terrible role models and are 2 of the most unhealthy people i've ever met.
so somewhere in the middle, i guess there is middle ground. i know you have to be a positive role model, and encourage them to exercise and encourage them to eat well, but it's hard. when there are constant junk food treats left right and centre from school, friends, birthdays, nannas etc. i exercise, i eat loads of vegies and fruit and natural yoghurt, lentils, all the good stuff, i hope it's enough for my kids.
The boy at school bullied her but the mother then abused her. It is not legal to withhold food from your child and it is verbal abuse to berate your 7 yr child over food choices. This mother needs to quit projecting her own weight issues on to her child. She could have done many things different from helping her child to make better food choices, to getting more movement in her day and teaching her it is ok to have a treat in moderation. This mother has set her child up for years of eating disorders and misery.0 -
She's a vain arsehole with pathetic parenting skills. Unfortunately nobody can stop the stupid from reproducing, but I feel for that little girl.
This! ^^0 -
Of course they are. Are you defending her?ok, so everyone is slamming the mum....0 -
no i wasn't defending, i totally think it's wrong to humiliate a child even further.
just asking to hear what people do, because it's clear there are thousands of overweight, unhealthy kids out there.
what do you do if you have a tv / games junkie child that doesn't want to exercise? do you force them? or let them be?0 -
My mom used to get on me about food when I was a kid... I think it ended up having the opposite effect for me. It drove me to hide food, and binge eat when she wasn't around.
Me too.0 -
This is so sad on so many levels. She should be teaching her daughter healthy habits. Seems like instead of the boys bullying her, now her own mother does.
i agree and truthfully she taught her daughter nothing but how to crash diet. If she taught her to eat healthy and play outside more or went outside and kicked a ball around or rode bikes together she would be teaching a healthy lifestyle and not how to crash diet and cut out everything bad for you. You need to explain everything in moderation. All she did was scare her kid who will rebel later on and prob eat the snacks her mom is not allowing her.0 -
My mom used to get on me about food when I was a kid... I think it ended up having the opposite effect for me. It drove me to hide food, and binge eat when she wasn't around.
Me too.
Me three. It started when I was still a skinny kid. My mom absolutely meant well as she had struggled at times with her weight as a young adult and wanted me not experience that. There were only ultra healthy foods in our house. It didn't work - instead of taking away the message of healthy eating, I felt deprived and singled out from my peers and did the secret eating/binging thing. I don't know what the right answer is, but my sense is it differs with each child. But no child deserves what that the Vogue mom did to her.0 -
I read this story last night and was pretty livid with the mother. It's one thing to put your child on a "diet" but to exploit her and tell the story to millions is wrong. I mean seriously how is this helping anyone else ? She deprived her daughter meals at times , yet she admits to secretly stuffing her face with something she just told her daughter was crap. That is not the way to teach your child the fundamentals of eating healthy , healthy body image and living a healthy lifestyle but then again how can the mother teach something she doesn't really know herself . She admits herself how can she teach her little girl to maintain a healthy weight and body image as she has not ingested any food, looked at a menu, or been sick literally to the point of vomitingwithout silently launching a complicated mental algorithm about how it will affect my weight. I believe her own personal issues came into play with how she was handling her daughter's obesity, perhaps that's how she has dealt with own weight issues in the pasts or something. The mother should seek help for both her and her daughter, she should hope she hasn't broken her daughter's fragile self image and started a cycle.
http://m.yahoo.com/w/news_america/blogs/cutline/vogue-article-mom-7-old-daughter-weight-sparks-175546979.html?orig_host_hdr=news.yahoo.com&.intl=us&.lang=en-us
Zeeeb- When my mom found out my brother was creeping up on the obese and he didn't want to get off his butt, she cancelled cable and removed all electronic games from the home because they were privileges not a right and he was old enough to be taking some responsibility for his health. That got him moving, sounds harsh I am sure but she did it for the whole family and they all become more active , did more as a family and my brother is still a bit big but the kid is 6'3 and built like a lineback as well as plays one on the varsity team.0 -
She reminds me of my father.0
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