Un supportive husband anyone??

luvsoda

to cloud2011. there is always room to the improve. every person has the right to be the best they can be for themselves and there loved ones. love your comment it could be the biggest reason I am doing this....read this hubby! But each to there ow, right? You can lead a horse to water but cant make him drink it ....keep up the efforts it will pay dividends in many ways and not just oneself :flowerforyou:

Missd1985

My husband does not bring home snacks or anything. He does not try and stop my weight loss. He does tell me he will love me no matter what I look like. The problem is I do not like how I look and I find he takes it personally. He thinks I do not think what he thinks matters and it can be frustrating.

qofe11

Hey

partners sometimes feel threatened by change in their partners or the desire too. This is a situation were you have to get behind yourself and 100% support yourself. Also this forum seems a great oasis of suport.

good luck xxxx

mitch1ok

No but I have an unsupportive wife !!! ~ I have lost 44 pounds, went from a 46 chest to 38, went from a 36 to 32 waist - and all I get is hassle because she can't loose any (despite trying). Putting pressure on me to change back.

valenief

Well guys my hubby is unsupportive and negative He tell's me that I do need to lose the weight straight out and I do agree I am such a long way from that 115 that I was in high school and pre baby! However in that same sentence he will be like let's order pizza or go eat Mexican...sigh. It's so hard to so this weight loss with out him backing me and he eats really crappy too always has to have junk food, soda, cakes, candy, cookies , ect. Ohh yeah when it comes to going to the gym he want's me to go as long as he don't have to watch our 3 year old Adam and the house is still clean and everything in it's place and his food of his choice is hot on the table. He is about 6 foot even and 150 lbs soaking wet he has never ever struggled with weight loss he can have whatever he wants and never gains an ounce and then ask me why can't you lose weight or why has it taken you forever to lose x amount of weight. I get so frustrated sometimes I just wanna give up. But I can't because I want to lose this weight not for him but for me and for my child and I don't want him growing up eating nothing but crap even if I have to fix him and I a sepret dinner for the rest of my life I will. But yeah so this is my rant lol! Hope it helps!

JadeRabbit08

It's so much tougher for me to keep motivated because my husband just does not want me to loose weight!! He thinks I care to much about it look great all that but i am just not happy. He says that he can't see the 35 pounds I have held onto, even after showing him pictures depicting a huge difference pre to post baby... Does any one else have a husband who wants them to stay the same weight they are and makes it hard for them to loose anything? He always offers me junk food wants me to hang out with him instead of exercise etc... Any ideas on how to get him behind me?!?!

Its not about your appearance, its about being there for every significant time of your childs life as they grow into adulthood and beyond. Its about reaching retirement and still being healthy and vibrate enough to enjoy it. Its about being fit enough to be the rock your family needs in an emergency. Don't stagnate, live joyfully and powerfully, fuel yourself with great food that helps you do that.
Remember that and it wont matter if he puts a burger in your hand you will achieve what you set out to do.

katysmelly

sounds like he is afraid that if you look good he will loose you. Does he have insecurity problems? Some men just don't like change at all.

I know in my case that was true...i called him on it recently and he admitted it.

He's smart!

It's not at all uncommon for a couple to split up when one partner loses a lot of weight. Looking at your avatar photo, it's obvious that you have moved well up the looks scale. This destabilizes the power balance that he was used to.

He's probably figuring out that since he couldn't stop you from becoming hotter, he'd better start being nice in order to keep you.

sissypunks

i have one of those one min he tells me i need to lose weight the next here have (insert junk food) when i would do exercise games on the wii or xbox he would laugh and tell my do u know how stupid u look? He would also say "I don't care how long u play as long as the house is clean" . Now that is unrealistic in my house because we have a 14x70 mobile home and 6 people and 5 pets in said home and HE is the biggest slob! i finally got fed up with him and my weight and told him to shut up i was doing this weather he liked it or not to keep his darn comments to himself i did not want to hear them if they were neg. and as far as the house if he didn't like the way it looked get up and pitch in . he has become good for my new habits i am forming (somewhat) at least in the exercise department still working on the food side! if i do not feel like working out he now tells me that i will not get anywhere with out it so at least he is trying . Maybe you will just have to let him know hey i am not happy the way i am and am serious about changing im sorry if u dont like it but if u cant say anything nice than please keep ur comments to youre self this doesnt mean i dont respect ur feelings i just want to be a healthier wife and mother . good luck it may take a bit for him to figure out u r serious but just hang in there!

valenief

Thanks Good post!

annams76

I swear I read your post and it was like reading about my relationship. He says I am big and I need to lose weight but then turns around and wants to eat crap all the time. I will be sticking with my diet and workout plan from now on. He can eat what I cook or go hungry. If he wants junk food he can go get it but I don't want my daughter thinking the way he eats is ok. I guess the only difference with us is that my husband is very big, like over 300lbs. I try to get him to lose weight with me but then he gets mad. It is really frustrating.

Natx83

sounds like he is afraid that if you look good he will loose you. Does he have insecurity problems? Some men just don't like change at all.

I know in my case that was true...i called him on it recently and he admitted it.

He's smart!

It's not at all uncommon for a couple to split up when one partner loses a lot of weight. Looking at your avatar photo, it's obvious that you have moved well up the looks scale. This destabilizes the power balance that he was used to.

He's probably figuring out that since he couldn't stop you from becoming hotter, he'd better start being nice in order to keep you.

You may have just figured out the male logic lol. Stupid isn't it.

libby328

My husband is half/half. He wants me to work out and when I am having those days where I have zero motivation to do it he will call me on it, I love it cause it pushes me to do it... I will get done working out and go into the lvrm and he will ask how I did then say "we should get Chinese for dinner" uhmmm dang! He doesn't understand that its not just the working out thing I need. Just do your best! He also told me I look fine the way I am... Ugh I hate that

janenightingale

My husband wasn't intentionally unsupportive but is the main cook in the house and is a FANTASTIC chef! He didn't understand that 'only a little olive oil/cream/cheese' *** (insert high fat ingredient of choice) was undermining my efforts. I still lost weight slowly - making do with VERY small portions (He objected when I weighed my food) and filling up on veggies - whcih I also had to persuade him to cook more of. I did tons of exercise too - initially walking but then mixing it up with 30DS etc

Now, he has realised that if he is going to get the operation he needs on the NHS he will be told to lose weight himself. All of a sudden we are eating just as fantastic meals but with far fewer calories. He can't exercise very much because it's a new hip he will need so the only way he can do it is with reducing his calorie intake. He now has the zeal of a convert!

72MonteCarla

Bump

beccarockslife

Mines up and down but no one can control my motivation but me.

AndreaDaPrincess

I wonder if they realize they are doing it.....my husband does the same thing. He is not a mean person, and I know he wants the best for me, but he is NOW wanting to take me out to eat more....wanting to go for AFTER CHURCH ICECREAM........and he brings my favorite things into the house as a gift to me and I feel guilty about not eating it. I don't really understand it.

AndreaDaPrincess

We have to be strong and make decisions for ourselves.

Crystal0827

My husband and I have only been married for 6 months but we have been together for 13 years. When we first met I was 125lbs and a size 6, as I gained weight over the years he never commented on it, when I would say I am fat or I gained "X" pounds he would disagree. Finally when I reached 217lbs....almost double in my size, I hated myself. He kept saying I was fine. Now I have started healthier living, he refuses to eat the healthier food, gets mad when I won't eat out. When I have lost more weight, or feel good about something (fitting in to clothes, a compliment, a comparison picture) and I share it with him. HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to say. And that hurts me. I have told him about the way I feel and he tells me I am over-reacting. For the first time in many years I am gaining self confidence but am quickly losing it without his support.

korsicash

Mine flat out said he did not believe I could do it. Told me he would never eat my crap diet food and if I wanted to loose weight I would make separate meals for he and I. Well I did. Um his cholesterol was recently tested as bad. I made those separate meals like he said. He ate stouffers, tony pizzas, ramen and whatever else was easy and convenient and gave me time to roast veggies, grill good meats and all that diet "junk" he didn't want to eat....Guess who wants to eat like me now also he is not heavy has never been heavy and did not understand the struggle. Just recently I have heard how great I look. I should add that those foods are his favorite and I always offered him some of my healthy stuff. I am not a jerk. Also at one point I asked to be able to buy new clothes and he said "no just get fat again so the old stuff fits" We still can not agree on me going shopping for new clothes but he is trying a little harder to be nicer. Before people mention good will or thrift stores those are my favorite places to go shopping but I live in the middle of flipping no where and we do not have those things here. I miss them a lot. Where I live I can obsessive diet or eat I chose diet. There is truly nothing else to do LOL

rbrannock

I recently wrote a blog regarding sort of the same "problem" with my husband. Its like he WANTS me to look good, but yet doesn't want me to do the work to get their. I think part of it is him being insecure that once I lose weight and feel good, I'll find someone else....which isn't the way I feel at all....I want to look good and feel happy with MYSELF, which I think will make me happier all around, and help our marriage as well. I love him, I don't want anyone else, but I want to do this for ME. He never used to be overweight until we got married...and that happens a lot, you get comfortable in your relationship and you tend to gain weight. I know he's not happy with himself either. Its hard to hear the negativity when you really just want them to be proud of you, but I"m sure deep down he really is proud of you, just feeling a little insecure right now. Just stick to your guns, keep going, for you...and maybe talk to him about how you feel.