Am I just being paranoid?

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  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
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    Yes.
  • marci423
    marci423 Posts: 130 Member
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    I was going to say invite her too but NYC beat me to it :o)

    It might be that she needs to lose as well? but doesn't want to look like she is intruding on your exercise so she just prevents you from doing it?

    Good luck with your goal :o)
  • femmi1120
    femmi1120 Posts: 473 Member
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    After taking a break from the forums, I'm so glad to see that the MFP forums are still replete with persecution complexes.

    Everyone is jealous of MFP members, and working to sabotage them. :indifferent:

    If you're not going to add anything to my topic, maybe you should go back to taking a break :)


    To everyone else, thank you for the advice.

    To answer some of your questions, she has never really been what I'd consider "fat." She does have a high body fat %, and poor eating habits, and unhealthy methods of controlling her weight, like skipping dinner after a day of eating unhealthy foods to compensate, taking laxative teas, and trying EVERY diet pill under the sun. She's very active but does not set aside time to actually work out.

    And in December she had lipo and a tummy tuck which she's using as a reason not to join me for boot camp (somewhat legitimate, but I think she's had enough recovery time to try it as long as she takes it easy).

    I do sometimes wonder if she's jealous because she can't seem to lose weight the healthy way, but I've tried really hard to motivate her to (even made her an account here) but she only seems interested in the quick fix.

    As for slacking on my chores, I've been trying really hard to keep her happy, but she seems to be looking for things for me to do. Like when she asked about my room today, and I told her I'd already cleaned it yesterday, then she brought up my bathroom, then the game room, etc. All of which I had already taken care of, and finally, she says "well, you're sick, are you going to go work out while sick and then be too tired to go to school tomorrow?"

    See, it starts getting stupid like that... and that's when I just left.
  • mamabear272
    mamabear272 Posts: 268 Member
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    I'm not sure about the relationship you have with your mom but talking to her may not help. I remember 20 years ago when my daughter was a baby. I lived with my mom and dad as I was a single mom and lots of other reasons that I won't go into here. I bought a stepper that came with a video. I was doing it in the living room and my mom goes "you look like a big hippo doing that." I was devastated and never used the stepper again! But then she'd make comments on my weight cause I hadn't lost the baby weight yet. I don't bother to mention it anymore but when I would bring it up she would adamantly insist that she never said it. Of course mom I just made it up that you called me a hippo. I have what to gain from that???

    You may not get through to her by talking to her or at all for that matter. You can not let her bring you down! You are doing this for you and not her! You are making yourself healthier and making positive changes. It may be hard but you're going to have to ignore the things she says and let it roll off your back! You are doing great things!
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    See, it starts getting stupid like that... and that's when I just left.
    Oh, so you moved out? Well done.
  • femmi1120
    femmi1120 Posts: 473 Member
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    As for moving out, my parents don't want me to because they want me to focus on school right now. I couldn't keep up a 15 hour course load while working to pay rent and they want me to graduate as soon as possible. If I even brought up moving out, it would just cause a lot more problems, because I live close enough to commute so they'd just see it as me being rebellious and ungrateful.
  • tulip07
    tulip07 Posts: 167 Member
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    As for moving out, my parents don't want me to because they want me to focus on school right now. I couldn't keep up a 15 hour course load while working to pay rent and they want me to graduate as soon as possible. If I even brought up moving out, it would just cause a lot more problems, because I live close enough to commute so they'd just see it as me being rebellious and ungrateful.

    Great job on working hard to graduate while staying at home. I say more people should do that. Parents are not enemies and I don't see why moving out is the solution to all problems. A lot of people face the exact same issue (not getting support) from friends and spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend and other family members. Moving out is not an option if someone is not getting the support from a significant other. So why should it be the case here?

    All I am going to say is great job doing what you are doing!! Don't let some of these people on these forums influence your family decisions. No two people are the same, and no two people have the same day to day priorities, so when you live with someone you will have issues like this, but that doesn't mean moving out is not always the choice. Mothers and sisters (and husbands/wives) are hard to live with :) but are essential for the support system we develop. Just do what you are doing and work through the issues.

    Good luck!
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    As for moving out, my parents don't want me to because they want me to focus on school right now. I couldn't keep up a 15 hour course load while working to pay rent and they want me to graduate as soon as possible. If I even brought up moving out, it would just cause a lot more problems, because I live close enough to commute so they'd just see it as me being rebellious and ungrateful.

    MFP school? :indifferent:
  • nutandbutter
    nutandbutter Posts: 447
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    As for moving out, my parents don't want me to because they want me to focus on school right now. I couldn't keep up a 15 hour course load while working to pay rent and they want me to graduate as soon as possible. If I even brought up moving out, it would just cause a lot more problems, because I live close enough to commute so they'd just see it as me being rebellious and ungrateful.

    Wow.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    So, I stared working out in early January and around that same time, I started going to my neighborhood's boot camp classes. They're only 30 minutes in the morning (Mon, Wed, Fri), but they have made a HUGE difference for me and aside from spring break when I was out of town, I have been to every Monday and Wednesday class. It makes me feel really great and while I've seen little progress in my weight/inches, I've noticed huge improvements in overall fitness which I owe mostly to this class.

    Now on to the problem. My mom seems to be deliberately trying to keep me from going. Almost every morning before my class, my room is too messy or she needs help doing something or other, or when I have trouble setting up doctor's appointments (since myschool schedule makes it difficult) she always tells me to skip my boot camp class. It's only half an hour... 30 minutes I take out of my day for ME.

    When I was super overweight, she would constantly make comments about my body and how much I ate, and now that I'm making a change, she can't let me have those 30 minutes?
    Are you asking if you are just being paranoid about your mom's intentions? That is, being paranoid that she is deliberately trying to keep you from going to your boot camp classes? What answer would make a difference?

    As you've posted in follow-ups, you know you are living there to go to school. You are taking advantage of an opportunity to take a full course load. That's fine. I don't blame you. Moving out isn't a viable solution right now.

    But I don't understand how discussion by strangers about your mom's motives will be helpful. All we can do is guess at what she's feeling and thinking anyway. And ultimately, it doesn't matter. It's what she does. It's her house, her rules. Sounds like sounds like your mom may be reasonable. Why don't you talk to her directly about wanting to go to boot camp classes? Present to her the boot camp schedule and tell her it's important for you to go. Ask her what you need to do in order for her to allow you to go. Negotiate an agreement. It could be as simple as "clean room = boot camp."

    Directly ask for what you want. Be respectful and clear and specific. You might have to ask more than once. Practice this with your mom. You will need to do this again with others in life. It's not an easy skill to learn for some people, but I promise it will prove to be valuable.
  • Nopedotjpeg
    Nopedotjpeg Posts: 1,806 Member
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    Confront her. If she's tries any old-timey guilt then keep the conversation on topic and don't let her try to persuade you out of talking about it.
  • tulip07
    tulip07 Posts: 167 Member
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    Directly ask for what you want. Be respectful and clear and specific. You might have to ask more than once. Practice this with your mom. You will need to do this again with others in life. It's not an easy skill to learn for some people, but I promise it will prove to be valuable.

    ^^this
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Sounds like sabotage to me, but just talk to her first to make sure. "Hey Mom, I know you don't realize how important boot camp is to me, but it really is. Can you not schedule things during this single half hour of the day?" And if she doesn't quit, then it's time to take it up as a real issue. As of now, she might just not realize how important it is to you.

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