Why do you care what other people think?

LemonsAndCoffee

I just recently (in the past few years) stopped caring what other people think. When I was in my early 20's, I was always concerned about what people where thinking. Now that I don't care, I really do enjoy life more. It's a great feeling.

_binary_jester_

So why do you care?

Human nature.

But I guess it depends what you mean. Of course I care what my family thinks of me, what my boss thinks of me and what my friends think of me. It does not mean that I take every opinion to heart or I allow others opinions to influence me. Mostly, I care what I think of me.

I think, if we make what we believe are the right decisions; that as we grow older and more experienced in life we tend to change our perspective and we care less what others think of us because we are confident and secure in our life choices.

But truly, it is my opinion that people who say that they do not care what others think of them are kind of full of it. However, since that is what I believe, it shouldn't offend anyone who says they don't care what others think

Ironically, if someone disagrees, they shouldn't care what you think, right?

Jeff92se

Why did the op ask this question?

_binary_jester_

Why did the op ask this question?

Curiosity. I often see posts on here and they are concerned with how people perceive them.

crisanderson27

Because how will I know that I'm a good person if I don't have the approval of strangers, acquaintances, and people I don't like?!

THIS!!!!

Lol...I very nearly took this seriously at first . Guess my internet sarcasm meter needs recalibrated!

For me...I don't really care much either...as a rule. Approval is nice, but rarely if ever sought after (even among people I DO care about)...disapproval isn't relevant for the most part. I'm my own worst critic as a rule, I mean...how do I know that person judging me is worthy of the right? Usually I don't, but even if I DO...I used my own judgement to come to that conclusion.

I prefer to skip the middle man...tyvm.

There are exceptions however. Some you might expect (my Dad...girlfriend...grandparents...etc), but others might surprise you. I've been known to go miles out of my way to make kindly little old people smile for example. I can't help it!! The thought of them thinking negatively of me just isn't acceptable lol. There are others as well of course, but in the end it comes down to the base level of respect I have for someone. Not that I don't respect most people in general of course...but the more initial respect I have for you...the more your opinion will likely matter.

solpwr

So why do you care?

Human nature.

But I guess it depends what you mean. Of course I care what my family thinks of me, what my boss thinks of me and what my friends think of me. It does not mean that I take every opinion to heart or I allow others opinions to influence me. Mostly, I care what I think of me.

I think, if we make what we believe are the right decisions; that as we grow older and more experienced in life we tend to change our perspective and we care less what others think of us because we are confident and secure in our life choices.

But truly, it is my opinion that people who say that they do not care what others think of them are kind of full of it. However, since that is what I believe, it shouldn't offend anyone who says they don't care what others think

Good job on this well thought out counterpoint. I agree with it.

Binary you make a valid point about how much weight we should give to other's opinions of us.

Some people tend to judge, others tend to percieve (check out the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). The majority of the human population tend to judge. By their nature they will both offer and consider other's feedback more than a perceiver will. Whether they admit to that or not, it is a fact.

People often ask questions on this forum because they have come to believe that they can get honest feedback that doesn't have the same bias that would exist in their daily lives at home, work, or school for instance. Others look for feedback here because frankly they don't have other people in their lives that they can bounce ideas off of.

We obviously consider all types of feedback to a greater or lesser degree. Often I see feedback here as an opportunity to receive a viewpoint that I may not share. But I learn more about others when I consider that point of view.

Or I get a really hearty laugh.

princessveggiecake

Because I have a deep desire to be loved by everyone O_O

truth is, I just have to be me. :-)

NO MERCY

taylmarie

[/quote ]Ironically, if someone disagrees, they shouldn't care what you think, right?
[/quote]

Exactly. And while I admit that I care what people think of me (albeit, a few people), I am under no delusions that my opinion of others should bear great significance to them unless they are close to me, in which case it may matter to them and it may not. I think it is okay to care what others think, but not to care so much that you change yourself or pretend to be someone your not (unless maybe you're a complete a-hole, then maybe change is something to consider!). Sometimes, I believe, that the way others perceive us can give us some insight. Anyway, I find this topic interesting and I think you are a really cool and interesting and insightful and awesome person to post the question

EDIT: tried to quote a part of your response, I am new, I don't know what the heck I am doing.

_binary_jester_

<snip>
People often ask questions on this forum because they have come to believe that they can get honest feedback that doesn't have the same bias that would exist in their daily lives at home, work, or school for instance. Others look for feedback here because frankly they don't have other people in their lives that they can bounce ideas off of.

Excellent points.
Does it seem strange to give stranger's opinions more weight than your family?

Begood03

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F?

For those that are not familiar, it stands for Do I Look Like I Give A Fvck? That is how much I care about what strangers think about me.

Scott613

DieVixen

I dont care not at all

MFPAddict

Do these strangers have nice BOOBIES? Vital information for me to accurately respond.

kennethmgreen

It's interesting that people will come to this thread and post to say they don't care what anyone else thinks. At some level, they must care what readers of this thread think - or at least what you, the OP, thinks. Otherwise, why post at all?

Hoover8it

Love this!!!

_binary_jester_

It's interesting that people will come to this thread and post to say they don't care what anyone else thinks. At some level, they must care what readers of this thread think - or at least what you, the OP, thinks. Otherwise, why post at all?

Stating an opinion doesn't mean you are asking for acceptance.

DieVixen

It's interesting that people will come to this thread and post to say they don't care what anyone else thinks. At some level, they must care what readers of this thread think - or at least what you, the OP, thinks. Otherwise, why post at all?

because I am sitting in a dentists office with nothing else to do

solpwr

<snip>
People often ask questions on this forum because they have come to believe that they can get honest feedback that doesn't have the same bias that would exist in their daily lives at home, work, or school for instance. Others look for feedback here because frankly they don't have other people in their lives that they can bounce ideas off of.

Excellent points.
Does it seem strange to give stranger's opinions more weight than your family?

On the surface, definitely. Very strange.

But how unbiased are certain family members? If you want an honest opinion from your Mom on how the new dragon tattoo looks across your butt, how's that going to work out? Would you rather hear the opinion of a stranger with lots of ink from your favorite artist?

Our expectations of other people's bias also influence how we evaluate other's opinions. I hope its obvious I have a strong perceiver side, so I'm not good at judging. So I'm often overly subjective in my personal viewpoints. How people share their opinions, in addition to the content of the opinion, often reveal as much about themselves as provide feedback that is useful to you.

And stay out of my head. J/K.

kennethmgreen

It's interesting that people will come to this thread and post to say they don't care what anyone else thinks. At some level, they must care what readers of this thread think - or at least what you, the OP, thinks. Otherwise, why post at all?

Stating an opinion doesn't mean you are asking for acceptance.

True. But why state the opinion publicly if not - on some level - caring about those that read the opinion?

I get the difference between curiosity and need for approval, as I do the difference between stating an opinion and asking for acceptance. Posting in this thread isn't necessarily asking for acceptance. But it is a publicly-viewed recorded response to someone. If I truly didn't care at all, I'd know that and be content knowing it. That I share my not caring with an audience has more meaning that randomly uttering (or typing) the sentiment. Maybe I don't care much. But by replying, I care.

Pushed to an extreme, it's like chasing strangers down the street to tell them I don't care what they think.

SexyCook

Bump....this is good stuff here....For reading purposes.....FYI...I have learned to don't care what people think...before here I use to not be like that.....Have to learn to have a hard shell sometimes when need on MFP....