Why do you care what other people think?

SexyCook

See I'm a free spirt and you either love me or you don't. I take pride in that I've always marched to my own beat.

But deep inside I wonder if I'm too much to handle and if people think I'm too "wild".

Then I go back to "F them!" Take it or leave it. I am what I am... always have been.

WHEW...Love this!!!

solpwr

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F?

For those that are not familiar, it stands for Do I Look Like I Give A Fvck? That is how much I care about what strangers think about me.

No offense man, but you look EXACTLY like you give a Fvck. The photo you've assigned as the main image attached to your profile I assume is the mirror image of yourself, without a shirt on, tanned and body hair removed, with a muscle pump. You look like you care A LOT, actually. If it's not an image of you, you want others to believe it is at a very minimum, which is tantamount to the same thing.

Now I'm sure you are very proud of your physical accomplishments. I'm sure you have a lot to be proud of, its hard work to get in good shape. But yeah, you care what others think. You want them to be impressed.

twinsanity

I don't generally care what other people think...they don't do it very often!

And no, other people's words can't bring me down. Only I can bring myself down. As much as they might like to think they have that much power, they really don't. It is my choice how I feel, not the choice of others.

_binary_jester_

It's interesting that people will come to this thread and post to say they don't care what anyone else thinks. At some level, they must care what readers of this thread think - or at least what you, the OP, thinks. Otherwise, why post at all?

Stating an opinion doesn't mean you are asking for acceptance.

True. But why state the opinion publicly if not - on some level - caring about those that read the opinion?

I get the difference between curiosity and need for approval, as I do the difference between stating an opinion and asking for acceptance. Posting in this thread isn't necessarily asking for acceptance. But it is a publicly-viewed recorded response to someone. If I truly didn't care at all, I'd know that and be content knowing it. That I share my not caring with an audience has more meaning that randomly uttering (or typing) the sentiment. Maybe I don't care much. But by replying, I care.

Pushed to an extreme, it's like chasing strangers down the street to tell them I don't care what they think.

Is sharing personal experiences caring what other people think? Some would find it cathartic, but still not looking for acceptance. Some would fall directly into the realm you are discussing.

skinnywithin

Why did the op ask this question?

I do value the opinions of others but that is never my deciding factor. I persoanlly do care what others think and I think it is the nature of the beast and to some degree we all feel that.

It's funny how when we have made a mistake then we say " WELL YOUR OPINION DOESNT MATTER" however when we are struggling with something then we always ask for someone opinion. and in my opinion this makes no sense ~

To be honest....The only true opinion that matters to me is that of my son. I dont have to answer to anyone else but It is my right and responsability as a parent to make the best and most practical decisions for him and myself.

dinosnopro

ninerbuff

The most important opinion of myself comes from me. I can't really lie, and even if I try to justify, I'll know if I'm just BSing myself. People will always have opinions of you whether good or bad. But in the end all that matters is what you think about yourself.

A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

mznisaelaine

I care what people think based on "what" they think of me:

For example: I'm a very positive and bubbly person. If someone thinks I'm rude, mean, etc. Then yes I care what people think because I don't want people to judge me that way and I'm not.

But.

But if people give me crap for being positive and being all rainbows and butterflies... Then I don't care what they think. I'm not going to change how I am for nobody. I always strive to be better not worst.

So that's how I see it for myself when it comes to caring about what people think.

BondBomb

Man..other people can 'suck it'.

That is all.

bikermike5094

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F?

For those that are not familiar, it stands for Do I Look Like I Give A Fvck? That is how much I care about what strangers think about me.

Got this patch on the back of my leathers.... I'm about 3 degrees from being a 1%er......

Aeriesified

I care what people think based on "what" they think of me:

For example: I'm a very positive and bubbly person. If someone thinks I'm rude, mean, etc. Then yes I care what people think because I don't want people to judge me that way and I'm not.

But.

But if people give me crap for being positive and being all rainbows and butterflies... Then I don't care what they think. I'm not going to change how I am for nobody. I always strive to be better not worst.

So that's how I see it for myself when it comes to caring about what people think.

^ This.

I'm not gonna let someone think I'm something I'm not. I'm proud of who I am, and I don't feel the need to be anyone else.

I'll admit that some opinions matter to me because I love the people behind them dearly. But their opinions will always be the ones supporting me and pushing me forward. That's why I care what they think.

Dordi4

People opinions are what make us who we are. Some time for the worst.. We can say we do not care but we do. This does not mean you will always take it to heart, you have to learn when it should matter, or when people are just trying to hurt you. This is why i care even if they hurt me. It will make me a better person.

lizard053

Often I don't get it. Admittedly there are very small group of people whose opinions are important, but for the most part I could care less.

Other people's opinions can make you feel poorly about yourself.
Other people's opinions can influence you...and often not in a positive way.
Other people's opinions can make you be a different person.
Words only have the power YOU give them.

So why do you care?

Most people define themselves as how other people view them. It is a self-esteem thing! I care too much about what other people think, mainly because I put thoughts into their heads that may not even be there. I'm obsessive-compulsive that way. It's not healthy, for me or for those around me, and I understand that. It takes me a lot of time to get out of my own head! I try not to let other affect me as much as they do, but it is difficult. We are a culture too caught up in what everybody else is doing and 1-up-manship!

Darkskinned88

I'm so self conscious *Kanye voice*

While i agree with the original post, to a degree we should give a damn how we're perceived. Walking around with my head held high pretending everyone is a hater only gets so far.

Pollywog39

When you are 20, you care deeply what people think of you.

When you are 40, you don't care what they think of you.

When you are 60, you realize they weren't even thinking of you.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!

I used to care........................now, if people don't like me, it's THEIR loss, and they are missing out on knowing an awesome human being

.........just sayin'...........................

kennethmgreen

It's interesting that people will come to this thread and post to say they don't care what anyone else thinks. At some level, they must care what readers of this thread think - or at least what you, the OP, thinks. Otherwise, why post at all?

Stating an opinion doesn't mean you are asking for acceptance.

True. But why state the opinion publicly if not - on some level - caring about those that read the opinion?

I get the difference between curiosity and need for approval, as I do the difference between stating an opinion and asking for acceptance. Posting in this thread isn't necessarily asking for acceptance. But it is a publicly-viewed recorded response to someone. If I truly didn't care at all, I'd know that and be content knowing it. That I share my not caring with an audience has more meaning that randomly uttering (or typing) the sentiment. Maybe I don't care much. But by replying, I care.

Pushed to an extreme, it's like chasing strangers down the street to tell them I don't care what they think.

Is sharing personal experiences caring what other people think? Some would find it cathartic, but still not looking for acceptance. Some would fall directly into the realm you are discussing.

I'm not sure. No, not directly. Sharing personal experiences doesn't necessarily = caring what others think.

But I suspect there is some care in choosing our audience. Even though it may be cathartic to share the experience, the audience's reaction has some meaning. Else we'd share in front of a mirror.

If one truly is looking to ONLY share for cathartic reasons (not caring about audience reaction at all), maybe sharing at a bus stop in front of complete strangers is the way to go?

I think sharing personal experiences and not caring what others think would be like writing your life story down and hiding the book. Some have done this. If we select an audience, we care on some level. Just by selecting that audience.

Back to your original question. You care to some extent what others think because you posed a question to an audience and have returned to read at least some of those responses. You may not care enough to get hurt feelings, or become angry, or laugh, or tear up. But you care enough to take time out of your day to return to the thread and respond.

I saw your first follow-up: "Curiosity and caring are two different things." And I don't agree - not for this discussion. At least not how it came across. If you are curious about something, you care about it. If you truly don't care about something, then you wouldn't be curious.

solpwr

I'm so self conscious *Kanye voice*

While i agree with the original post, to a degree we should give a damn how we're perceived. Walking around with my head held high pretending everyone is a hater only gets so far.

Yeah. I agree. You are learning what other people think about you. That knowledge can be used in several different ways, depending on your resourcefulness.

yessiseguy

I only are about what the people I care about think of me. If i do not care about the person or do not even know the person then their opinion is not valid to me. If i care about a person I want them to know the reasons behind what they think to better understand me and my actions

mmstgr

Because I have an insufferable need to please.

songbyrdsweet

Man, I don't even care what I think of me! :glasses:

Actually I care what my parents, my boyfriend, and my boss think. I get money, love, or a combination of both from a couple of those.

Cameron_1969

People. . and all their. . .caring. . bleagh!

connie_messina

Often I don't get it. Admittedly there are very small group of people whose opinions are important, but for the most part I could care less.

Other people's opinions can make you feel poorly about yourself.
Other people's opinions can influence you...and often not in a positive way.
Other people's opinions can make you be a different person.
Words only have the power YOU give them.

So why do you care?

You said you "could care less"...great, now the grammar nazis are going to be all over this thread like white on rice.

haha!!!! lol

TrailRunner61

I used to. A lot. I have learned not to, but it was difficult and required a lot of self reflection. A lot of it, for me at least, was that if society saw me a certain way, then perhaps it was true and I just didn't recognize it. If a couple of people tell you the same thing about yourself, you begin to wonder if it is really truth. I will frequently have people ask on the status of my pregnancy. I am sterile and NOT pregnant...... When you have multiple people mention it, you wonder how many others are thinking it, then I got really self concious of my belly and the fact that I must LOOK PREGNANT. It hurt. It is hard to hear. It isnt so much that ONE other person's opinion mattered, it was the concern that everyone but me noticed. It did kinda spur me on to make some changes. But it made me cry far more.

At least you didn't accidently wear a maternity swimsuit all summer.

DAMNCHARLIE

My Mother once said to me "you dont care what people think about you".......still don't Mom!!!

shammxo

Because my mother never loved me and I constantly crave the approval of strangers.
I need them to love me, because I cannot love myself.

Anomalia

I care what the people around me think and I care how they feel. I just happen to like myself enough to not let negativity get me down.

maletac

cause im scared to be alone

DAM_Fine

<snip>
People often ask questions on this forum because they have come to believe that they can get honest feedback that doesn't have the same bias that would exist in their daily lives at home, work, or school for instance. Others look for feedback here because frankly they don't have other people in their lives that they can bounce ideas off of.

Excellent points.
Does it seem strange to give stranger's opinions more weight than your family?

No. Because the people here have many of the same goals that I do. My family, on the other hand, want me to go back to looking like them, acting like them, sounding like them. I didn't when I was younger, conformed for a while, and now I'm back to being who *I* am, not who they think I should be. And I'm having a blast being me again.

Cait_Sidhe

Simply put, I don't.

At an early age I was ostracised for not being like anyone else. I stopped caring what others thought of me and did my own thing. I've based my life on it.

Iamkim73

I choose to be a Godly father for my daughters and don't ask others if they approve or not. I'm not perfect nor do I claim to be. However, I know when I screw up and don't need others to put their 2 cents in. I'm my own worse critic and don't care to hear their rendition repeated over and over.

I do care that people see me as example of how fathers should behave, but as far as what they think? I have no control over other people feelings or thoughts and I refuse to give myself that much credit or blame in the matter.

That's deep, huh? Sorry...

I love this response!