Why is this not enough?

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245

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  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
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    I'll be honest - I expected a completely different photo when I read the text here. Mother or not, you have a killer body. Your husband needs his eyes checked.
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 807 Member
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    You are beautiful just the way you are, especially considering you've carried multiple children!!!

    Can I recommend that you start working on your body for YOU, though, and not to try to make him find you more attractive? Absolutely it's a side benefit when they are impressed, but the motivation to keep with it has got to come from inside you.

    I will NOT join the chorus of "dump him" voices because I don't think that's generally the best answer. But something is definitely wrong here, and it needs to be addressed. One thing to consider is, does he by any chance have issues with pornography that could be creating false expectations?

    Big squishy virtual hugs to you ... sounds like you're on a rocky road right now.
  • arickim
    arickim Posts: 137
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    You need to put your husband in his place and not worry about what comes out of his mouth.
  • countrygirl812
    countrygirl812 Posts: 116
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    My husband would never get any from me again, and he could possibly be short a few teeth if he ever said something to me like that. Your spouse is supposed to support you, not tear you down.

    Tell him to have babies and see what it does to his body. Better yet, if he's in such amazing shape, then tell him to post a pic.
  • Selles36
    Selles36 Posts: 11
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    Your husband is the one who has the problem. Your body looks fantastic. You've provided him with children and I would guess a loving, long-term relationship. Many of us have not had that experience. That's part of the reason I am here and I am doing my best to lose weight so I can get what I hope you have.

    You are lovely! He's probably jealous and afraid because you have put in the effort to change and be better to yourself and he is feeling left out.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
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    Honey, you are gorgeous! Honestly, if my husband said those things to me I would be devastated - and I don't know that I could get over something like that either. My boobs are tiny after my weight loss, and far from perky. He still loves them and pays them plenty of attention, even though I don't believe him he still tells me all the time that he likes them. As for my stretchmarks and loose skin, he has never said anything about those things to me, except when I asked, and he said they don't bother him at all. He says he doesn't notice those kinds of things. Now, whether or not that's true is beside the point. I don't think it's okay for your husband or anyone's husband to tell them they find you unattractive like that, especially for something you can't even help!!! That is so screwed up! How could someone who loves you say such things, when he knows damn well it's out of your control? Your man should love you for you, no matter how you look, imo. And if you are working your *kitten* off to be attractive to him, you deserve to be loved even more for that! I think most men find that in itself attractive when a woman wants to take care of herself... I know my husband started paying me a lot more attention once I started working out and eating right.

    I think you seriously need to re-evaluate your marriage, because (sorry for my language) your husband sounds like a real douche. I myself am saving up for breast augmentation - but that is MY choice, for MY own self-esteem and confidence. My husband supports me in that decision, but has always told me he doesn't think I need anything done and am beautiful just the way I am. That is how it should be in a happy marriage! Don't ever go under the knife if that is not 100% and ultimately and only YOUR CHOICE for YOU! Screw him! You are smoking hot and could do so much better I'm sure of that.
  • lisa46219
    lisa46219 Posts: 99 Member
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    If your brothers, or your uncles, or close friends made a similar remark, how would you react? I am appauled by his remark, and hope you are too. I am guessing he is transferring his insecurities onto you, but that is no excuse. I hope he is spending a couple of nights in the doghouse (although, personally, I think that is too easy on him!)
  • nataliefallbach
    nataliefallbach Posts: 105
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    I think you look awesome, way better then me and I don't have any children. If my husband said that to me, I would be so heart broken. I think you should tell him, if you haven't already that his comments are extremely hurtful, not to mention untrue! Keep your head up and remember that self confidence comes from within you and its something that somebody else can take away ONLY if you let them. And honestly, if he wants you to have plastic surgery then make him pay for it and watch all the kids while you are recovering, maybe after that he will never take you for granted again.
  • Krushchev
    Krushchev Posts: 180 Member
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    I'll be honest - I expected a completely different photo when I read the text here. Mother or not, you have a killer body. Your husband needs his eyes checked.


    Thiiiiiis. He is getting some serious side-eye from me over here.
  • mstawnya
    mstawnya Posts: 450 Member
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    I think you need to lose 180 more pounds (or however much he weighs). First & foremost, you have to be fit & healthy for yourself. His rude opinion is insensitive and reeks of jealousy and insecurity.
  • Sakre
    Sakre Posts: 2
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    What a jerk! My husband has always told me that he loves me no matter what my size is (Although he admits that he is a lot happier when I am thinner). Unless he is perfect, he has no right to say something like that. Your spouse should make you feel beautiful and loved.
  • catfish9
    catfish9 Posts: 138
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    I think that that's a terrible thing to say to someone you love. Ultimately, it's YOUR body and you shouldn't feel pressured to take drastic measures to conform to someone else's standards, even if it IS someone you love.

    It sounds like you need to let him know how much his comments have bothered you and sit down for a long talk. :(
  • Bikini_Bound150
    Bikini_Bound150 Posts: 461 Member
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    You created LIFE within your body! You are amazing and strong and beautiful!

    I'm sorry, he does NOT love you... And if this kind of ordeal continues, he will (if he hasn't already) cheat on you.
    I've seen this happen to so many people I love and it is so, so painful.

    Please be strong for yourself and your children. That is who matters. That is who you need to be healthy for.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Wow. You go find a nice, appreciative, younger man and have an affair with him. Pronto.
  • murielm88
    murielm88 Posts: 12
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    Omg lol you had me Rollin !
  • TiffanyDawn79
    TiffanyDawn79 Posts: 201 Member
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    I am so sorry he is treating you this way. That is so sad. I would pull out old photos of him and start telling him where he has gained weight and how NOT perfect he is. Just to give him a dose of his own BS. Just know that you look wonderful! Strut your stuff and be proud!
  • k011185
    k011185 Posts: 320 Member
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    Am I being unrealistic for wanting my husband to think I'm beautiful if I'm really not? Am I just being a crybaby for being upset about this? Is it a normal thing for guys to not think women's breasts are attractive anymore after they've had babies? Do I just need to suck it up? Should I go ahead and start putting back the money for the surgery?
    A big huge resounding NO to all those things!
    Be proud of yourself! You have earned it, and honestly, shame on him for saying things like that. That is awful and insenstitive. He should be nothing but proud of you, how you've taken care of your body and how you look!
  • kjerstenkipp
    kjerstenkipp Posts: 139 Member
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    Seriously??? Your husband is being an *kitten* hat! I am sure he is just as fabulous as he was before you guys got together (yeah, right). He made those kids so...well you get the picture.

    As for surgery... that is a decision that is up to you 100%. If you were to say that you wanted to do it then I would say go for it....but clearly you don't want to and this is about you. You got fit and now he is insecure about it...trying to tear you down so you won't listen to other people (mainly men) who find you attractive...Girl, he is nothing but scared. Tell him to pull it together and if he can't there are a hundred others waiting to take his place...
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    I would like to smack your husband - preferably across the face... with my own loose tummy skin.
  • jenifer7teen
    jenifer7teen Posts: 205 Member
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    For whatever reason I can't see your pictures but not matter WHAT you look like, i would never tolerate a man who said such a thing to me. To honestly admit that your partner's body may not be perfect in the eyes of the "world", is different than saying that you find your partner unattractive. There are imperfections in everyone... and as you age there will only be more. Love is what sustains attraction... And if you try to live up to those fantasy expectations of perfection for your man, you are going to grow more miserable day by day. There is some deep-seeded s**t here (both in your desperation to PLEASE your man, and your man's shallow and cruel "love")...

    I recommend couples therapy, and if that doesnt work, save yourself (and your children) from this toxic relationship.

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