Just An Observation

AshinAms

If someone chooses to help or motivate that is great. But I'm confused why people assume that just b/c someone has had success that they should become some role model for everyone else struggling.

I agree with this - also every person who has had a lot of success with weight loss in large amounts is still dealing with it every day. Just because the weight is off doesn't mean the issues that go with it are gone and it doesn't mean that it doesn't require as much, if not more, vigilance with regard to diet than it did while the journey was still underway. And that vigilance takes time - not to mention some of the other upheavals that come along with being thinner after having been overweight.

I don't think that because someone is successful and you have added them to your friends list that they are 'required' to comment on a diary/comments/successes. I tend to comment on the diaries of the people I know in person, and some others who have been kind enough to comment on mine *when I have time*, and I have no doubt that were I to become a 'super loser' and have 600 - 800 friends who wanted to somehow have the success rub off I would do the same *when I had time* and leave it at that... jmo.

BigDaddyBRC

If you want motivation and support, I have found that you need to choose your friends wisely. I have a mixture of friends. my only request that they stay active and interact, even if it's snarky. Personally, I have moved from an individual basis of motivation to a more general motivation where I try on a daily basis to put up something Unique that inspires.

BrettPGH

I TRY my best to motivate and encourage everyone I can. But it really does get to be a lot. My friends list is out of control. I love them all, but you can't read 220 diaries a night. It's becoming a part time job...

Plus people ask you EVERYTHING! Someone I didn't know once asked me what she should do about antacids and her stomach condition. When did I become a licensed medical professional? All I did was stop eating double cheeseburgers two at a time and start moving.

So I really, honestly try to encourage everyone. But the sad truth is there is only so much you can do. The motivation has to be within a person. It's not my fault if someone isn't motivated.

bbygrl5

If someone chooses to help or motivate that is great. But I'm confused why people assume that just b/c someone has had success that they should become some role model for everyone else struggling.

This. We're in this together and support goes both ways. At one point, I had a huge friends list and many people never interacted with me except to demand the "secrets" to success. I want to help when and where I can, but I'll be damned if it is going to be expected. I love the friends I have now, while my list is small, about 90% of my list are solid, real connections.

rebecky27

I feel that MFP is for sharing. The person that said "none of your business" is a C#*$! I try to post on my "newsfeed" motivational stuff. I friended a lot of people that were sharing the same goals - we are all in the same boat. It feels good to see what I posted helped someone. I have my workouts and weigh-in results feeding to Twitter and FB, and it's so awesome to see people cheer me on, and see the comments that I have inspired others to get more fit too. It goes both ways.

There are attention - w^*%3$ that will soak in all the compliments, but not give any back out. I vow to never do that. Although I just (re) started my journey - I hope to motivate others the whole way - and afterwards!

Jipples

Maybe you need to look in the mirror to find your motivator.

Agree....which is why I started with:

Let me start by stating that I'm a proponent of trying to find motivation for/within ourselves. It's my life, it's my health, it's my 'diet'; therefore I feel I need to find for myself, what is going to motivate me and help me to stay the course. Anything outside of those things that I choose for motivation that ends up being beneficial to me, is lagniappe.

For the record, this wasn't a "whaaa whaaaa whaaaa.....my friends don't encourage/motivate me" rant. My friends pump me up all the time.......and tho I enjoy it, but certainly don't need it. I have a pretty great list of friends.

Again, it was just an observation........

412HeavyLifter

I messaged a woman who lost around the same amount i am trying to lose asking how she did it and what was most helpful for her.... her response was "That is none of your business"...... i asked what the point in being on mfp was if she wasn't going to share her tips for success and she said "so people can see that i did it"

SHe probably had weight loss surgery

BeeElMarvin

I originally came here to track calories and exercise to help in my weight loss and that's why I've stayed here. I also found quite a bit of advice - some good, some bullsh!t- on the boards. I don't look for, ask for or give much in the way of encouragement. It's up to each person, everybody is different, some need it from time to time, but some seem to need it ALL the time (they rarely last long). My friends on here, in general, are funny and genuine and sincerely helpful when it's needed. I don't ask them for support and I usually only give it if I see that somebody is struggling and they ask for it. Ultimately you better be able to do this on your own, because when it come down to it that's the only one that can make a difference.

LuckyLeprechaun

I'm here to help.

What can I do for YOU?

WarriorMom2012

I personally found that 50 "WTG"'s everytime I completed my diary or logged some exercise wasn't a motivation. Making me laugh, telling me to get off my *kitten* and sweat, listening to me ***** and complain about whatever is stressing me that day...those are my motivators.

All my friends know I am proud of them and love them and will be here for them to lift, support or shank a *****...all they have to do is whistle!

CoryIda

You're one of my friends and I try to motivate you, but MFP is a social thing for me as much as a health tool.

If you need extra support, let me know; otherwise, I'm probably not going to look at your diary every day.

That being said, you're still awesome.

412HeavyLifter

I found that I had a friend who lost like 250lbs
and I was sooo proud of him don't get me wrong
but he had like 800 friends
and I felt I was always congratulating him on his successes
and he never once congratulated me on mine
so I deleted him....

I think I know exactly who you are talking about...I deleted him also but only because I was sick of his updates on trying to sell his workout merchandise.

UponThisRock

I'm good for giving out information. Not so much for the "back patting" stuff.

lind3400

I think it boils down to what you expected when you signed up for this site
I was looking for people with similar goals to help motivate me, becasue I wasn't getting any support at home
I would rather have 20 people that I can share tips and successes with to help me to reach my goal than 500 that pretty much serve no purpose at all
no one way is the right way it's all based on the individual

_SusieQ_

To be clear, I DO motivate and support my friends. I comment on exercise and I like when people comment on mine. However, I don't feel the OP was about THAT. It seemed to be a rant that the more successful MFPer's weren't being role models/coaches/gurus/handholders.

And I am appalled that I just read someone calling someone a C%^* because they replied "none of your business" to a question about their weight loss. Why would you feel that they are REQUIRED to share the details of something that is personal and mentally exhausting? Or possibly that was the 537th time they had been asked that and they are TIRED of telling people who are seeking a MIRACLE CURE to "eat less, move more".

I'm so disgusted with the attitude that if someone doesn't want to be everyone's best friend and share their every detail of how they became a success story that they MUST be a terrible person! Some of the people on here CHOOSE to put themselves out there, to share info, to be a role model. They aren't hard to find. Go ask THEM. But don't get all butthurt b/c someone random person you DON'T KNOW doesn't want to pat you on the back every 5 seconds.

CoryIda

I'm good for giving out information. Not so much for the "back patting" stuff.

butt patting, on the other hand...

fbmandy55

Also, there are plenty of friends I don't interact with because of time differences. they log in when I am sleeping and by the time I log in, they are gone from my feed. Not to mention with 150+ friends, it's hard to make everyone's status.

It's not always intentional.

Jorra

Those that have succeeded have been here a long time and probably have gained a lot of friends. If they had the time to personally comment on all of their diaries, they wouldn't have time to keep succeeding! Just because you admire someone's success doesn't mean they have to reciprocate and spend all their time motivating you personally.

UponThisRock

I'm good for giving out information. Not so much for the "back patting" stuff.

butt patting, on the other hand...

All my new friends get at least one, whether they want it or not.

SwannySez

I'm here to count my calories, log my exercise, and goof off with my friends. I learned very quickly after joining MFP that the only TRUE motivator in my life is going to be my own success. Sometimes I feel blue or discouraged and I ask my buddies for a quick pep-talk (and any good friend, regardless of their accomplishments can tell you "chin up!")... but when it comes to being accountable for my health, that's all on me. It doesn't matter if you've lost 1 or 100 pounds, if I like you as a person, I want you on my list so that I can be friends with you. The fitness is secondary.

I'm really just here for Kortney's boobs. I'm motivated by them. I'm captivated by them. I'm...what were we talking about?