Just An Observation

UponThisRock

I'm here to count my calories, log my exercise, and goof off with my friends. I learned very quickly after joining MFP that the only TRUE motivator in my life is going to be my own success. Sometimes I feel blue or discouraged and I ask my buddies for a quick pep-talk (and any good friend, regardless of their accomplishments can tell you "chin up!")... but when it comes to being accountable for my health, that's all on me. It doesn't matter if you've lost 1 or 100 pounds, if I like you as a person, I want you on my list so that I can be friends with you. The fitness is secondary.

I'm really just here for Kortney's boobs. I'm motivated by them. I'm captivated by them. I'm...what were we talking about?

We were talking about motivation, but I, for one, would welcome it if the subject were changed to boobs

SwannySez

I'm good for giving out information. Not so much for the "back patting" stuff.

butt patting, on the other hand...

All my new friends get at least one, whether they want it or not.

Sigh, ok, fine. I'll admit it. I'm here for the butt pats too.

misscristie

If someone chooses to help or motivate that is great. But I'm confused why people assume that just b/c someone has had success that they should become some role model for everyone else struggling.

This. We're in this together and support goes both ways. At one point, I had a huge friends list and many people never interacted with me except to demand the "secrets" to success. I want to help when and where I can, but I'll be damned if it is going to be expected. I love the friends I have now, while my list is small, about 90% of my list are solid, real connections.

You are so awesome Miss you!

kerriBB37

I have tried to reach out to MANY people (ie. I will go to a thread and answer their question in a private message) and I NEVER get a response. I take the time to write paragraphs explaining my research and experiences. I would consider myself a student of science, a student of trial-and-error and a success story (so far!

In turn, I have messaged people I find interesting and I want to learn more from them. Usually I get no response.

I like to share what I've learned so far with anyone that will listen! I log in every day and try to encourage everyone and provide tips! I love to share my recipes and workouts, too!

As for deleting friends, I usually do so after a long period of inactiveness OR if I come across something I don't agree with. I had a friend who lost over 150# then one day she started posting all the crazy diet pills she was going to take.. *delete*

infamousmk

I'm here to count my calories, log my exercise, and goof off with my friends. I learned very quickly after joining MFP that the only TRUE motivator in my life is going to be my own success. Sometimes I feel blue or discouraged and I ask my buddies for a quick pep-talk (and any good friend, regardless of their accomplishments can tell you "chin up!")... but when it comes to being accountable for my health, that's all on me. It doesn't matter if you've lost 1 or 100 pounds, if I like you as a person, I want you on my list so that I can be friends with you. The fitness is secondary.

I'm really just here for Kortney's boobs. I'm motivated by them. I'm captivated by them. I'm...what were we talking about?

We were talking about motivation, but I, for one, would welcome it if the subject were changed to boobs

Lemmie work on that for you guys...

Jipples

To be clear, I DO motivate and support my friends. I comment on exercise and I like when people comment on mine. However, I don't feel the OP was about THAT. It seemed to be a rant that the more successful MFPer's weren't being role models/coaches/gurus/handholders.

And I am appalled that I just read someone calling someone a C%^* because they replied "none of your business" to a question about their weight loss. Why would you feel that they are REQUIRED to share the details of something that is personal and mentally exhausting? Or possibly that was the 537th time they had been asked that and they are TIRED of telling people who are seeking a MIRACLE CURE to "eat less, move more".

I'm so disgusted with the attitude that if someone doesn't want to be everyone's best friend and share their every detail of how they became a success story that they MUST be a terrible person! Some of the people on here CHOOSE to put themselves out there, to share info, to be a role model. They aren't hard to find. Go ask THEM. But don't get all butthurt b/c someone random person you DON'T KNOW doesn't want to pat you on the back every 5 seconds.

I thought I made it clear that I didn't judge them, the successful MFPers, for how they were......maybe I failed to get that point across well enough. It was just something I noticed and found interesting.....no one is "butthurt"....at least not me babe......you can settle down now.

waldenfam2

I messaged a woman who lost around the same amount i am trying to lose asking how she did it and what was most helpful for her.... her response was "That is none of your business"...... i asked what the point in being on mfp was if she wasn't going to share her tips for success and she said "so people can see that i did it"

That's just sad...I cannot believe how some people treat others. We should all remember what we came from and how hard it is to lose weight, and an encouraging word does not take that long to type.

CalJur

MFP is what you make of it. There are plenty of quality individuals on here who deeply believe and who are committed to this journey as well as being excellent motivators and pillars of strength. If you haven't experienced the amazing, supportive friendships that can be established here then continue to search for new friends. You are truly missing out. There seems to be a negative attitude toward individuals with high numbers of friends. I say to each his/her own. Some individuals simply attract others for whatever reason and/or are naturally good at networking. Others are not. I've maintained a large friends' list and certainly can't respond to every status update for a multitude of reasons including that I'm on here for set periods of time each day. I do respond to each message I receive. I do encourage as much as anyone I know with a smaller list and possibly more. I send encouraging words to all nearly every day. I guess my message is do you and find others that fit what you are doing and need.

The points made here are valid but certainly don't apply to the great majority of positive individuals doing great things and lending support.

SwannySez

I'm here to count my calories, log my exercise, and goof off with my friends. I learned very quickly after joining MFP that the only TRUE motivator in my life is going to be my own success. Sometimes I feel blue or discouraged and I ask my buddies for a quick pep-talk (and any good friend, regardless of their accomplishments can tell you "chin up!")... but when it comes to being accountable for my health, that's all on me. It doesn't matter if you've lost 1 or 100 pounds, if I like you as a person, I want you on my list so that I can be friends with you. The fitness is secondary.

I'm really just here for Kortney's boobs. I'm motivated by them. I'm captivated by them. I'm...what were we talking about?

We were talking about motivation, but I, for one, would welcome it if the subject were changed to boobs

Lemmie work on that for you guys...

See? Talk about a motivator!

GlitterGoldJem

I just started to venture onto the forum here and I'll be honest ... if I was someone who needed motivation from other people this would be the LAST place I would look. No offense to those that are really nice and helpful. I think it all comes down to self-esteem which doesn't have a weight guideline. Whether you are 300 lbs or 100 lbs you can have very low self-esteem and thrive in seeing others suffering and hiding behind "internet walls" as coming off as a tough guy or someone who could careless.

I also tend to see this sort of thing whenever a forum of any kind is invloved. I run a street team for an internationally known band and I run into the exact same type of people there. Of course they aren't talking about weight loss but the fans who have been around longer or are older hate on the new fans or ones under 21 yrs. old.

It just sort of goes with the territory which is sad when everyone is there for the same purpose. There are some really great people here and it's fun to interact back and forth on the threads but that's about it. Again, no offense, I'm not assuming to know everyone on here or sum everyone up in one sentence.

_SusieQ_

To be clear, I DO motivate and support my friends. I comment on exercise and I like when people comment on mine. However, I don't feel the OP was about THAT. It seemed to be a rant that the more successful MFPer's weren't being role models/coaches/gurus/handholders.

And I am appalled that I just read someone calling someone a C%^* because they replied "none of your business" to a question about their weight loss. Why would you feel that they are REQUIRED to share the details of something that is personal and mentally exhausting? Or possibly that was the 537th time they had been asked that and they are TIRED of telling people who are seeking a MIRACLE CURE to "eat less, move more".

I'm so disgusted with the attitude that if someone doesn't want to be everyone's best friend and share their every detail of how they became a success story that they MUST be a terrible person! Some of the people on here CHOOSE to put themselves out there, to share info, to be a role model. They aren't hard to find. Go ask THEM. But don't get all butthurt b/c someone random person you DON'T KNOW doesn't want to pat you on the back every 5 seconds.

I thought I made it clear that I didn't judge them, the successful MFPers, for how they were......maybe I failed to get that point across well enough. It was just something I noticed and found interesting.....no one is "butthurt"....at least not me babe......you can settle down now.

First, telling a woman to "settle down" is like poking a hungry tiger with a stick. Not smart. Same with calling me "babe".
Second, I read your OP, you got your point across, and I realize that you said you weren't judging and you had many decent things to say as well, but your whole OP started a sh*tstorm of other people saying nasty things. Like my example above about calling someone a C&^% b/c they didnt' want to share. S

So my entire rant wasn't directed only at OP, for the record. :flowerforyou:

yoovie

not all of us have a computer where w can be around everytime someone posts something

why dont you unfriend those of us that dont have computers?

nerdyandilikeit

I'm having the opposite problem. I don't have hundreds of friends, and I haven't had a lot of visible success even after a year on MFP, but I pour myself into supporting my friends when they reach out to me and I get very little back from some of them. That's draining to me. I definitely need support, not hand holding but tough love. If someone says it's none of your business or motivate yourself, those are valid points. But so are asking questions and wanting outside support. Some people may not want or be able to give you one or the other. Choose your friends based on what you need in one, not by what their ticker says.

Either way, all this belly aching about what people think about this or that makes me what to punch my own face.

BlueInkDot

I find that helping and motivating others... helps and motivates ME. I really get a lot out of seeing how hard my friends are working and speaking (or posting) to them my congratulations and support. I think to myself "If I'm telling them these positive things, I should take my own advice and go do some stuff myself." Positivity is contagious, y'know?

People who have already acheived what they need to acheive don't need to do this as much as people who are still in the thick of it. I feel like the "losing weight" journey has a beginning and an end. Once it's over, and you're on maintenance, then I guess you kinda deserve a break? You've been going hardcore for months, and now you've reached your goal. Time for a breath of fresh air, maybe don't log on to MFP every day anymore, and don't message people as much, and instead go out into the world and enjoy your new health.

That's what I would expect most people to do. Not everyone is like me? I'm kinda weird? I would absolutely jump at any chance to help people because it is my favorite thing to do. Help people. But I'm odd. I know that. Most people want to go do things to make themselves happy. Go fishing, see a movie, go for a drive.... I dunno. Things people do. Whatever. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's just not a priority to come on MFP and support people anymore once you've reached your goal. That doesn't account for people being jerks, but... Yea. Just what I was thinking. :P

jasonr1442

Yuuuuup!! Jipps I have deleted my most "popular" friends because they never commented. It was like the site was their twitter and we were all followers. No give and get.

Word to your motha!

TheNewDodge

I think if you're going to be active on the message board and tout your successes you have a responsibility to at least be polite to others when they hit you up for tips or suggestions.

I would also imagine that the people who relied on motivation or support from others are more likely to be a bit more "rah rah" than others, who found their motivation and/or support away from here.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I'm good for giving out information. Not so much for the "back patting" stuff.

butt patting, on the other hand...

In my house we refer to that as a "good game."

MyFeistyEvolution

I'm good for giving out information. Not so much for the "back patting" stuff.

butt patting, on the other hand...

All my new friends get at least one, whether they want it or not.

wtf....this must be a new practice because back in the day when we became friends, there was no butt patting ..and now I'm a bit upset.

Jipples

not all of us have a computer where w can be around everytime someone posts something

why dont you unfriend those of us that dont have computers?

I delete any friend that I have an issue with.....so if you are still my friend, even without a computer, then obviously we're cool. My post accomplished it's goal in that I posted something I noticed, and it sparked a somewhat heated debate. Where I failed is in the fact that you, along with a few other of my friends, apparently are interpreting my post as a cry for help. lol It's not.....it was an observation.

CoryIda

I'm good for giving out information. Not so much for the "back patting" stuff.

butt patting, on the other hand...

All my new friends get at least one, whether they want it or not.

wtf....this must be a new practice because back in the day when we became friends, there was no butt patting ..and now I'm a bit upset.

The groping that went on when I added you wasn't enough????