anyone else having trouble dating?

BrienJD

Yup, after 16 years out of the game, having to start back at square one sucks. Now I'm older and wiser, but larger and slower. It's daunting, not hopeless, but it seems a hell of a lot harder to get started again.

amysj303

As many dating threads as there are on this site, someone should start a singles group...

I've noticed on the dating sites people are asked to fill out all this information about themselves and what they would like their significant other to be like. I think this just sets people up with unrealistic expectations. When I go to buy a car I have a list of must haves (automatic, air, power steering) and then nice to haves (key dongle blinky lights, power seats, etc). Problem it seems is people group the must haves with the nice to haves. So, dating for me is a pain, cuz it's hard to get the date in the first place!

It also seems, at least for me, that I live a much more insular life. Must...find...things...to do...outside...of...my...house.

I thought the same thing about internet dating, seems like everyone holds each other at arms length, thinking that something better will be in their inbox the next day. Also, it seems like you come from a position of finding some reason to reject the other person. Like, if you met someone and were instantly smitten you'd make excuses for every red flag just to be with them, but when you meet online, you're like, well, he eats his eggs sunnyside up and that's gross so I'm not going to see him again.
But I don't know why I weighed in, I have been together with my now husband for nine years almost... Also, internet dating does work for people sometimes, but it seems like it has to work quickly, like within a couple of dates or they start to get jaded.

CharlieBarleyMom

I've been single for so long... and for a very long time I was in love with the guy who is my best friend... unreturned love.

Now that I'm finally ready... I've worked on me (the mental me) and I know what I want in life, I just don't know where to find the men. I don't want to date... although I would date... I'm really a long term relationship seeker and I'm not into sitting in a bar to find someone that sits in a bar because I don't want someone that sits in a bar...

So, eventually I will meet the right guy. Until then, I've been pretty happy at being alone. I have friends. I have my dog. I have MY time. I have mostly everything I want. Mostly.

It is harder when you're older and always working... plus, I'm not all that interested in kids so I don't want to date anyone with young kids either... That just drops the potential available list down to barely anything.

karenjoy

I found a Husband by accident on the internet, I already had one at the time, and so it was a bit awkward, but it all worked out in the end.

vabrewer33

I'm having trouble just getting a date. Period. haha but that's a whole other conversation...

You and me girly...I think I've had two dates in the past 6 months...maybe I'm just hideously ugly...

SlimSammy2012

I'm having trouble just getting a date. Period. haha but that's a whole other conversation...

You and me girly...I think I've had two dates in the past 6 months...maybe I'm just hideously ugly...

I don't know about the hideously ugle bit but heck, you can lik your elbow and still no dates? Oh to be in my 20's again!

danigirl1011

Yeah i think I totally agree. I think people are just so flakey and picky now days. They aren't even in to getting to know someone. I made a deal i wasn't even going to worry about thinking of dating anymore until i get closer to my goal weight and just work on me for awhile, cuz i am sick of the dating scene.

Tasha_uk

I probably would have a problem with dating if someone actually wanted to date me! Being a young mum seems to put off people or because im a young mum people think im easy...

600racer

Not yet but the judge says I can't start til May 1st.

ChitownFoodie

I have never had trouble dating. Sorry.

saralynn594

Dating sucks,I just want to get some.

At the risk of sounding like a gigolo.....^^this^^. I don't do BS and people seem to have a whole pile of it these days. It fits better into my schedule too.

I don't think I would be a gigolo...isn't that a mans job? And I never said a thing about getting money for it!

Bentley2718

Dating and serious relationships are two different things. Maybe that's your problem. Or, maybe you scare them on the first date by talking about long term stuff.

Just because I meet someone and go on a few dates for a couple months doesn't mean I will marry them. It takes a while to really get to know someone. If my feelings don't continue to grow, then I'll eventually let them go.

This. I'm married now, but when I was single, if someone brought up "long term" stuff early on I was out the door. (The exception was that I would slip into the conversation exactly how much I dislike children and that I never plan on having any--I figured that's fair warning.) I've had friends who were so focused on finding someone to be in a long-term relationship with, that they scared off anyone they went on a couple of dates with. Or else judged the person "not the one" and moved on.

EpiGaiaRepens

I have never dated. Only met people who inspire me.

ScottyNoHotty

I have trouble dating because the court order says I have to be in by 9pm.....

spynoodle

Dating sucks! Apparently, people find me intimidating!

jplord

Here's some more sobering news. Dating does not stop when you marry, if you wish to have a happy marriage. Continuing to take time for each other, continuing to woo her or him is as difficult as keeping up with the exercise once you go back to work or transition ot a desk job. Trust me. After 25 years, the fun is only there when you work at it. There is no "king of the hill".

EBFNP

Well I am 24, and I never even been out on a date. I was pretty sheltered by my family in my teens, so I missed that period of my life. In college I got a lot of offers from men, but my inexperience and shyness prevented me from pursuing the options in addition to nursing school. Then I went straight through and got my master degree and was never up to it..lol..Now I've started my career, and it is difficult to get out after a long day at work, working out. However, I also think coupled with that there are not a lot of compatible men out there with similar backgrounds, values, and motivation. I just pray one day I find my dream guy somewhere. I tried online dating, but people are very fickle when they are behind a computer.

anubis609

I'm not sure what you mean by dating, but I've never had a problem with [physical] interaction of the opposite sex.

EBFNP

Dating sucks! Apparently, people find me intimidating!

I get that. I heard people don't know how to approach me. Maybe its because I am 5'10 or I always look serious lol. IDK. I consider myself a regular girl, but some men get intimidated if they don't think they can "control" you.

Tiggerrick

As many dating threads as there are on this site, someone should start a singles group...

There is :http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/282-single-peeps

yes. boys (and girls) just don't seem to like me.

LIES!! everyone likes you. BTW...boobs!

I've not had a date in 20-years. :ohwell:

Someone *ahemhubsahem* needs to step it up!:noway:

Not yet but the judge says I can't start til May 1st.

Didn't you work some time off?? I thought I saw you on the road crew.:huh:

I have never dated. Only met people who inspire me.

Awesome answer.:flowerforyou:

mmstgr

Only when my boyfriend's around.

ZING!

maybethistime70

Dating is too expensive.

emotionally and monetarily

jodyl70

<

---

dumb as a broken rock when someone is hitting on me................


:embarassed:

sirenap123

I've not dated in 2 years. I firmly believe it to be because of my weight. I'm on plenty of fish.com and find that I get the men sending me emails saying if I lost the weight I might could date but being my height and size I'm only good for a booty call. Then they get mad because I won't just have sex with them, even though I don't know them. I'm about ready to join a convent. ugh.... LOL

I understand! I have a lot of responses from guys looking for a One Night 'relationship." I just don't respond. Either someone's going to really like me or they won't but I am DONE with selling myself short because I am overweight. But the convent idea is always in the back of my head, too.

sirenap123

Most women my age come with some type of drama!! Whatever happened to treating a man like a King!!!

Wahahaha! Oh to be a man...

Dayna154

Yes dating is hard. I have been on lots of single or no more than 3 dates with men. I just can’t find someone who I mesh with who I’d like to be with long term. I didn’t think it would be that hard but it is. The longer I’m single and more independent I become the more picky I am. I like where my life is and how I live it.. It will take someone really special for me to give all of that up for..
I do really like the intimacy of a relationship tho.. and some things are fun alone only for so long… sigh

sirenap123

As many dating threads as there are on this site, someone should start a singles group...

I've noticed on the dating sites people are asked to fill out all this information about themselves and what they would like their significant other to be like. I think this just sets people up with unrealistic expectations. When I go to buy a car I have a list of must haves (automatic, air, power steering) and then nice to haves (key dongle blinky lights, power seats, etc). Problem it seems is people group the must haves with the nice to haves. So, dating for me is a pain, cuz it's hard to get the date in the first place!

It also seems, at least for me, that I live a much more insular life. Must...find...things...to do...outside...of...my...house.

I agree with everything you said! Thank you and you're welcome. lol

Seriously, though. I'm on OKCupid and I feel like sometimes there is too much information at the beginning and, when you finally do meet that person, and they don't exactly match their profile, it can be...disconcerting? But that's not supposed to be the point of the date. It should just be about getting to know someone.

Being heavy is a definite deterrent for a lot of guys, especially in this area, but I'm still trying to make due. sigh

MaraDiaz

I think it's cyclic depending on a lot of things such as popular culture and the economy.

So hard choosing between a hooker or food.

So hard to find a male hooker around here.

starcatcher1975

Dating sucks,I just want to get some.

LMAO! I said this to my ex mother in law yesterday, lol.

But I have problems dating too. Even when I was thinner and younger. Seems the older you get the harder it is. Most days I'm ok with not dating but other days it would be nice to have someone to hangout with, do things with and just be able to be around.

I think part of the problem is after almost 6 years of living in this town I still don't know many people and the people I do know are all married, in a relationship, or way too young because I know them from the university I go to.

However my brother is now engaged to a woman he met on match.com and they are like super happy together. Kind of makes me want to throw up actually, lol. And he was on eharmony for a while and went on a lot of dates. I tried it during Feb last year when it was free but when they wanted me to pay to use the site I gave up on it, I'm too cheap to pay to get a date, lol

woou

I recently started dating again and am taking my time getting to know people. I think it's just a numbers game really. I've met a lot of people who just want to feel that instant connection right away. Personally, it takes time for me to warm up to people. Met 4 girls so far and no go. Things can be different in girl-girl dating I guess, since we understand each other's womanese. :laugh: I try to just go out on a date about once a month, so I don't burn out while still putting myself out there.