Vegetarians (?) & Venting

LindaLouLu

Ok. So I've got a family member that SWEARS she is a vegetarian now.... Only problem is... She doesn't even eat vegetables!?!?!

Seriously? I told her I was making chicken tacos for the rest of the family (they are coming for a visit) and what would she like to have on hand for HER to eat? She says "Buy a can of beans. I'm going to have beans, cheese, and some lettuce as a taco."
Is this even a meal? I'm NOT a vegetarian. I'm a meat eater, so I honestly have no clue.

While my cupboards are full of dried beans, rice, oatmeal, whole wheat pastas, etc. My fridge is stocked with fresh fruits, veggies, dairy, eggs, and the like & yes. My freezer has meats and frozen veggies.
I know that HER cupboards are full of hostess snack cakes, High sugar cereals (think Fruit Loops, & Captain Crunch) & white bread. Her blender is full of snack size candy bars. The freezer has tater tots, hash browns, toaster waffles, & 4 different half gallon flavors of Ice Cream. The fridge is cheese, corn tortillas, 4 things of mayo, chocolate milk, and Sunny-D.
Now, I already said I'm not vegetarian, but I'm also not completely stupid. She's been eating this way (what she calls her "Healthy Diet") since 2008 when a family member died from heart disease she swears was caused by consumption of meats.
I've TRIED talking to her (this isn't healthy for you. Just LOOK at all the chemicals!!). I've tried setting a good example of things she might like to try (took her to a vegan restaurant- which I thought was actually pretty yummy) she refused to try ANYTHING! At "normal" restaurants ordering something colorful that has one of every food group, taking her shopping with me and reading the labels....
I'm at a loss as to what to DO with her. I'm afraid for her health (she has been sick more in the last 4 years than the rest of the 11 years I've known her), her cholesterol is through the ROOF (and she can't figure out why) and the Dr. is threatening drug therapy, she's gained just shy of 20lbs from the beginning of last summer to now.
I can't approach her eating habits directly (I've tried). She gets defensive and says that I'm "Picking on her because I don't like vegetarians" <-- NOT true.
I try to buy good food for her house(telling her it's for me & my kids, but making sure there will be "left overs") & she gives it away when we leave. Even the KIDS have tried talking to her (Hey, can we have veggies today instead of chocolates?) and she acts like they don't know what they're talking about. Her brother (my husband & her favorite sibling) has tried talking to her about it. Her sisters. Her mother. Her friends.
I am afraid that I may just scream at her the next time she says she's a vegetarian now. HOW can you be a vegetarian if you REFUSE to even EAT Vegetables?!?!?!?!?!

Ok. My rant is done. Thanks for "listening". Any helpful suggestions?

vegan1975

Has she been a vegetarian for long? I know she's not vegan but I'll give you my example as I think it could be similar. When I first went vegan, I cut out every non-vegan thing from my diet (without replacing it with an equivalent) and then quickly lost a good 20 pounds, making me a bit underweight. Then I started noticing that many chips, desserts etc were in fact vegan and started overloading on them. I had the "omg it's vegan so obviously I have to buy it" mentality. This lasted for a few years (and I still fight it today) and I gained upwards of 40 pounds doing that. Now I'm back down to maybe 20 pounds of excess weight, but it's a constant struggle to make the right decisions and eat healthy. I am "forcing" myself to put stupid kale in my smoothies and choose whole grains or quinoa instead of white rice, and so on, but it doesn't come easy. I laughed when I saw your post because my dad loves to call me a "vegan who hates vegetables". So I can relate...

But I guess my point is that you likely can't force healthy-eating on her, and likely (or hopefully) she'll come around when she gets enough bad report cards from the doctor, or when the scale keeps going up. You mentioned you bring food to her house. Do you just bring various bulk items or do you bring a dish or meal that's already made? Maybe she's at a loss for how to cook healthy vegetarian meals? Maybe the food at the vegan restaurant you brought her to was weird (often it can be) and if you made her (or for "you and the kids") a vegetarian dish that has some healthy items you know she already likes, she might be willing to try it.

Lastly, the bean thing you mentioned at the start seems ok to me. Beans are a good source of protein. I actually made vegan soft tacos last night but used tofu prepared with taco seasoning instead of beans. Then added on everything else (veggies, vegan cheese, salsa, etc). It ends up being just like the regular thing...

lawkat

Sadly, you aren't going to be able to convince her on how to be a healthy vegetarian. Sure cookies, Fruit Loops, some Hostess treats and some ice creams are vegetarian, but they aren't healthy. You know that and I know that, she seems to think anything without meat is. I have been a vegetarian for a long time and yes, I have eating poorly, but I still eat fruits and veggies, I just ate a lot of junk as well and too much of it.

I think the more you try and tell her what she should and shouldn't eat, the more she will eat junk. It is sad that she hasn't figured out that her vegetarian diet is just a junk food diet without meat.

Maybe you could explain that some of those chemicals and things like gelatin are made from animal products. I know there are these Hostess coffee cakes that have beef fat in them. Also with cheese, rennet can be made from animal, vegetable or microbal. You could tell her that she is still eating consuming animal products through her cheese.

I feel bad for her kids. I am sure they do want fruits and veggies and for her to deny them that is just terrible parenting. They need those nutrients to grow.

She has to come to the realization that she is doing a great deal of harm to herself due to her eating habits. Would she be willing to read a book about being a vegetarian. There is a lot of there that give advice on what to eat to have a healthy diet.

SoDamnHungry

Honestly, you seem pretty judgmental. Being a vegetarian just means she doesn't eat dead animals. Ok, so her calling it healthy isn't true, but why are you so hung up on it?

P.S. She should know Twinkies and the like contain animal fat.

weathergirl320

i know what you mean sort of. when i got diagnosed with celiac, i went and replaced EVERYTHING with gluten free stuff because hey if its gluten free its ok! but then i had to realize a gluten free chocolate chip cookie is still a cookie and not healthy. just because something is vegan doesnt mean its healthy. i often wondered the same thing about vegetarians. why do they call themselves vegetarians when the eat all sorts of foods that arent vegetables? it needs a better name that implies "non meat eater" lol because twinkies are most certainly not connected to a vegetable in any way haha

beckys19

Maybe you could explain that some of those chemicals and things like gelatin are made from animal products. I know there are these Hostess coffee cakes that have beef fat in them. Also with cheese, rennet can be made from animal, vegetable or microbal. You could tell her that she is still eating consuming animal products through her cheese.

Though this may be true, considering how she eats I don't think this is a good idea. At least with the cheeses, etc she is hopefully getting enough complete proteins. Considering her eating habits, unfortunately I don't think she would be concientious enough to make sure she is eating a good combination of foods to make sure she is getting complimentary proteins should she ditch dairy (and eggs, if she hasn't already) completely instead of trying to figure out which cheeses are vegetarian..

secretlobster

I was a vegetarian for eight years. I can understand the aversion to eating meat for moral reasons, but the vegetarians and vegans I currently know are the most sickly looking people I've ever met - Skin and hair that looks malnourished - because their diets are pretty much just beans and grain. I'm sure you can be a relatively healthy vegetarian, but it takes a lot of education outside of Conventional Wisdom.

UponThisRock

Yeah, I work with a few vegetarians. I eat far more fruits and veggies than they do.

Charliesuccess

I grew up Vegetarian then I went away for college began eating meat, tried going vege again as an adult and put on a ton of weight. I remember a nutritionist told me at the time that if your body lacks protien it will begin to crave carbs....!
Now im a pescatarian and so far so good, im only 1 month in!

tig_ol_bitties

It's just as easy to be an unhealthy vegetarian as it is to be an unhealthy omnivore. It's as simple as that.

_VoV

Not all vegetarians eat tons of fruits and veggies. Sadly, my kids are like that.

But, you may not be seeing the whole picture. When I'm invited out, particularly to eat at someone's home, I try to make do with side dishes, and the like, in an effort not to inconvenience my host too much. No one should think that those simple diet choices are all I make on a daily basis.

Also, you may not think of beans as a 'vegetable' per se, but they have a load of phytochemicals, fiber, and protein. As a near-vegan, I eat mostly plants--some fresh and whole, and others incorporated into dishes. Even something like marinara sauce is really a 'vegetable' when you think of it. If you think of the major healthy food groups for vegetarians, they tend to fit into one of these categories: veggies, fruit, grains, legumes, nuts.

I'm not defending a 'junk food' vegetarian diet. Anyone trying to survive on French fries, chips, white bread, margarine, gumdrops, oreos and beer may be vegetarian, but isn't doing herself any favors.

erh12275

I have a friend that decided in high school she wanted to be a vegetarian. Well, she was about a size 10 at the time. She is now probably a 26/28. Just because a person is a vegetarian doesn't mean they eat healthy. She eats a lot of junk food. She might eat a salad for her meal but then she has a HUGE piece of cake or a bag of chips for a snack. Oh and my friend's cholesterol is high. I get not eating meat although I am not vegetarian...however, the junk food can't be justified because you only eat veggies. I don't have an answer for you because...your family member is obviously not going to get it. She has to come to the realization that eating the junk is as unhealthy for her as eating the meat she thinks is going to kill her. Sorry.

Bentley2718

I've met other vegetarians who don't eat vegetables, I don't get it, but I figure, it's not my problem. Not everyone is vegetarian for health reasons. Not every vegetarian eats a healthy diet. I know it's hard when the person is a family member who you care about, but the bottom line is, it's her body, not yours. You cannot control her behavior, however illogical or self-damaging it may be. Take a deep breath, and move on.

Also, you seem to be questioning that she is a vegetarian "she swears that she's a vegetarian." A vegetarian is, by definition, someone who does not eat meat. Anyone who does not eat meat, regardless of how healthy or unhealthy their diet is, is a vegetarian.

Bentley2718

But, you may not be seeing the whole picture. When I'm invited out, particularly to eat at someone's home, I try to make do with side dishes, and the like, in an effort not to inconvenience my host too much. No one should think that those simple diet choices are all I make on a daily basis.

This is an excellent point, what I eat when I am at a restaurant or someone's house is very different from what I eat at home, for the very reason that I am trying not to impose on others. I likely would have given a similar answer about the tacos. If I was eating at home, I might eat tacos loaded with veggies and/or another veggie on the side. At "your" house, I'd eat my bean-taco and be happy I had something to eat at all.

sunnykt

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

PeaceLoveVeggies

When I first became a Vegetarian (been one for almost four years), I also didn't eat vegetables. My diet consisted mainly of cheese, starch and carbs (hence why I gained weight). Now I eat every single veggie and fruit put in front of me. It's just a process. After a while, your taste buds open up to new things.

ironanimal

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

You can whack it over the head and make it fall in the water though.

SergeantSunshine_reused

When I was first a vegetarian I ate just like that. I didn't like veggies at the time and no one was forcing me to eat them. When I became a vegetarian no one b!tched at me because I didn't eat my veggies since It is none of their business :huh:

Contrarian

The only suggestion I have is don't worry about it. She'll figure it out.

dypab

It's just as easy to be an unhealthy vegetarian as it is to be an unhealthy omnivore. It's as simple as that.

Second that ! Have been a vegetarian all my life and still here trying to loose weight

amicklin

It's just as easy to be an unhealthy vegetarian as it is to be an unhealthy omnivore. It's as simple as that.

Precisely. Just as there are unhealthy meat eaters there will be unhealthy non-meater eaters. Diversity and groups within all the different eating styles.

Not eating meat does not instantly equate to sustaining primarily off of vegetables and fruits.