Women--How do you keep your confidence up?

xcgirl078
xcgirl078 Posts: 47 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey girls, how do you keep your self-esteem and confidence up? I'm tired of depending on guys' or other people's approval to make me feel confident. I want to feel confident in myself, like all of us beautiful ladies should! So, what works for you? :)
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Replies

  • inside_lap
    inside_lap Posts: 728 Member
    As humans we then to focus only on what fits with our beliefs and dismiss what does not. Unfortuately if we don't think highly of ourselves, that means that we hear all the criticism and dismiss all the positive things people say. The key is to make a habit to override this impulse. Force yourself to hear and take note of the positive, even if your impulse is to then dismiss the comment. ALSO, learn to love the things you love (or even like) about yourself. It doesn't matter how silly it might be as long as it means something to you! For example, I can move my little toe independent of my other toes... I think that's pretty cool and like that about me... now it doesn't mean snot to anyone else, but hey, in the end I'm the only one that has to live with me! ;)
  • LilRedRooster
    LilRedRooster Posts: 1,421 Member
    I find things about myself that are amazing to me. Like the fact that I can run miles and miles, when other people only run if a bear is chasing them. And they'd die, because they could only make it a few feet.

    I think my boobs are amazing, not just because they're boobs, but because they make food for my daughter. That's just awesome. I make food. And it makes someone else grow. Holy amazing, Batman.

    I also have super strong feet. I can walk on any surface barefoot, and barely flinch, while my boyfriend walks on the dirt and winces. My feet are super-awesome-amazing things that could carry me over any terrain.

    I also am super-flexible, and my body maintains its strength and flexibility really well, even when I have taken it for granted in the past. It is a healthy body that treats me right, and I really appreciate it much more now.

    Really, it's just about finding things within yourself that you appreciate, and focusing on those. It's hard, because people like to focus on flaws instead, but when you find yourself focusing on the negative, find something positive to make up for it. After a while, it'll just become habit.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    I'm tired of depending on guys' or other people's approval to make me feel confident.

    Read a book called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie.
  • Catjag
    Catjag Posts: 107
    I look at my daughter. Its important for me to be her role model in life so I must put forth a positive attitude and confidence in front of her. Its become second nature now and even when she is not around I strut with confidence.
  • lifeskittles
    lifeskittles Posts: 438 Member
    Strut like a boss!....and lipgloss :D
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    As I posted in the thread about mommies' bellies, I call bull$!t on the messages that society feeds women. I refuse to believe that in order to be beautiful, I have to look as though I never age or have never had children. I don't believe that the surgically altered, photoshopped images of women that I see everywhere are a true respresentation of women. I do believe that there is great profit to made from women's insecurities, and I refuse to feed it.
    I give more weight to things like love and kindness and intelligence and strength and endurance...and those are the things I look for in other women that I find beautiful and also myself.
  • lifeskittles
    lifeskittles Posts: 438 Member
    oh and confidence builds on confidence!! Fake confidence leads to real confidence :)
  • inside_lap
    inside_lap Posts: 728 Member
    oh and confidence builds on confidence!! Fake confidence leads to real confidence :)

    Yes, faking it until you make it actually does work... lol...
  • lifeskittles
    lifeskittles Posts: 438 Member
    Yeah... intoxicated confidence has finally carried over to the world of sobriety haha :P
  • SiouxsieQue
    SiouxsieQue Posts: 85 Member
    Wow, this could be the 24-year old me asking the 40-year old me, I'm so glad you asked!!!

    First of all, you are beautiful which is a bonus. It can be a double-edged sword though because people (women, in particular) tend to feel intimidated by pretty women and will pull out all their tricks to make you feel less than you really are. Men who are intimidated will make sure you feel like you're only as good as the next girl. He's a chump, don't waste your time on him.

    As the years go by, you'll become more and more confident - trust me on this. Fake confidence for now and soon, you'll start believing it. Say it in the mirror "Good morning Beautiful! Go smile and wink at someone and make their day"! Sounds corny but just say any affirmation over and over, the mind will pay attention to your voice and not those other idiots that put themselves first.

    Be good to yourself, most of all. No one else should make you feel any other way than how you feel about yourself.
  • TKHappy
    TKHappy Posts: 659 Member
    I have to say to myself "you've worked hard to come this far, be proud of yourself"...no one made you do the things you do-eat healthy, workout, get out of bed!! So be happy with the accomplishments you've made so far...no matter what they are, its a start. :) Then make a point of reminding yourself of one of those things every time you put yourself down. Then soon you'll go to those first, like "wow, my legs are looking good from all those lunges" or "I managed to make it through a workout even though I was exhausted, I must be stronger than I thought." Slowly you will be your own motivator and all those extra compliments will be a added boost!! :)
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    I always dress feminine and attractive whenever I leave the house and I surround myself with positive people.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    Strut like a boss!....and lipgloss :D

    Definitely lipgloss!
  • PanteraGirl
    PanteraGirl Posts: 566 Member
    I'm gonna bump this one cuz my confidence sucks! LOL
  • tistal
    tistal Posts: 869 Member
    I look at my daughter. Its important for me to be her role model in life so I must put forth a positive attitude and confidence in front of her. Its become second nature now and even when she is not around I strut with confidence.


    ^^^ This.
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    It's not just ladies that have this issue... trust me... I can relate to this so very much.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    I suck at it. lol
    Looking forward to reading everyone else's answers. :bigsmile:
  • mandasimba
    mandasimba Posts: 782 Member
    Stewart Smalley's Mantra...Repeat every day!

    Stuart-Smalley.jpg

    And also, as the others have said, lip gloss.
  • MiniMichelle
    MiniMichelle Posts: 801 Member
    I remind myself that I won’t be everyone’s “type” but that there will always be someone that is attracted to my mentally and physically… reminding myself of this helps keep my confidence up... even on down days. “Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings”
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    Hey girls, how do you keep your self-esteem and confidence up? I'm tired of depending on guys' or other people's approval to make me feel confident. I want to feel confident in myself, like all of us beautiful ladies should! So, what works for you? :)

    You're one beautiful looking woman. You don't need anyone else's approval for that.

    While it's nice to get once in a while, you shouldn't define yourself by it.
  • TheReese1206
    TheReese1206 Posts: 238
    I don't. I need to learn to love myself and be happy. I honestly have no confidence. I struggle a lot. I'm working on it though.
  • Picola1984
    Picola1984 Posts: 1,133
    Wow, this could be the 24-year old me asking the 40-year old me, I'm so glad you asked!!!

    First of all, you are beautiful which is a bonus. It can be a double-edged sword though because people (women, in particular) tend to feel intimidated by pretty women and will pull out all their tricks to make you feel less than you really are. Men who are intimidated will make sure you feel like you're only as good as the next girl. He's a chump, don't waste your time on him.

    As the years go by, you'll become more and more confident - trust me on this. Fake confidence for now and soon, you'll start believing it. Say it in the mirror "Good morning Beautiful! Go smile and wink at someone and make their day"! Sounds corny but just say any affirmation over and over, the mind will pay attention to your voice and not those other idiots that put themselves first.

    Be good to yourself, most of all. No one else should make you feel any other way than how you feel about yourself.

    Nice post :)

    A bump from me also
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    I am also going to watch this post. I need lots of suggestions. I am 45 but have been beaten down so need to build back up.
  • OnWisconsin84
    OnWisconsin84 Posts: 409 Member
    I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.

    Seriously.

    Stuart Smalley is a genius. I say this to myself in the mirror sometimes :wink:
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
    I wish I knew! I have tried everything I can think of and after five years still nothing. I hate it but there's nothing I can do about it anymore. I hope you realise you are beautiful though xxx
  • kaitlynnrogers
    kaitlynnrogers Posts: 142 Member
    i'm not trying to sound mean but girrrrllll, why are you posting this?!!? you're freaking GORGEOUS!! you need to be proud of your looks and be happy that you have good genes!!
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    You will NEVER be confident if you rely on getting approval from others. Not meant to be harsh, but it's the truth!

    Start by complimenting yourself on things that you've achieved. Take all the things in your life that YOU'VE made happen, and pat yourself on the back for every single one of them. And definitely surround yourself with people that add positive things to your life. I've actually had to cut friends out of my life because I realized they were not adding anything good to my life. It's actually been a relief!

    Walk the walk for a while. Hold your head up when you walk, smile, and move outside your comfort zone in social situations. Fake it long enough, and you start to realize that you're not faking it anymore! I've gotten to where I can honestly say I love myself and I am confident and happy with who I am regardless of what I look like. That confidence has really driven me to be a more healthy, fit person because I want my son to be the same way!
  • supermom2002
    supermom2002 Posts: 180 Member
    Ugh, we all struggle with this. We are our worst critics.

    My trick: starts first thing in the morning. Pick out the sexiest set of bra and panties (matching of course) and it will put a smile on your face all day long. Putting on old granny panties is just boring. Nobody sees them but you (well, maybe).

    And a pair of killer heels. I have a love affair going on with Nine West. And the best part? Your shoe size doesn't change! I will be a 6 1/2 forever!!
  • dumb_blondes_rock
    dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
    I consider myself pretty confident. You have to think of it this way, if you don't believe in yourself, or your looks, who will? If i go out, i always try to look my best, because when you look good, you feel good. If you think of yourself as frumpy or ugly, you will put that impression of yourself on others
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    I just dress in something somewhat flattering at least, put makeup on and fix my hair.

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