Women--How do you keep your confidence up?

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Replies

  • TheReese1206
    TheReese1206 Posts: 238
    I don't. I need to learn to love myself and be happy. I honestly have no confidence. I struggle a lot. I'm working on it though.
  • Picola1984
    Picola1984 Posts: 1,133
    Wow, this could be the 24-year old me asking the 40-year old me, I'm so glad you asked!!!

    First of all, you are beautiful which is a bonus. It can be a double-edged sword though because people (women, in particular) tend to feel intimidated by pretty women and will pull out all their tricks to make you feel less than you really are. Men who are intimidated will make sure you feel like you're only as good as the next girl. He's a chump, don't waste your time on him.

    As the years go by, you'll become more and more confident - trust me on this. Fake confidence for now and soon, you'll start believing it. Say it in the mirror "Good morning Beautiful! Go smile and wink at someone and make their day"! Sounds corny but just say any affirmation over and over, the mind will pay attention to your voice and not those other idiots that put themselves first.

    Be good to yourself, most of all. No one else should make you feel any other way than how you feel about yourself.

    Nice post :)

    A bump from me also
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    I am also going to watch this post. I need lots of suggestions. I am 45 but have been beaten down so need to build back up.
  • OnWisconsin84
    OnWisconsin84 Posts: 409 Member
    I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.

    Seriously.

    Stuart Smalley is a genius. I say this to myself in the mirror sometimes :wink:
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
    I wish I knew! I have tried everything I can think of and after five years still nothing. I hate it but there's nothing I can do about it anymore. I hope you realise you are beautiful though xxx
  • kaitlynnrogers
    kaitlynnrogers Posts: 142 Member
    i'm not trying to sound mean but girrrrllll, why are you posting this?!!? you're freaking GORGEOUS!! you need to be proud of your looks and be happy that you have good genes!!
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    You will NEVER be confident if you rely on getting approval from others. Not meant to be harsh, but it's the truth!

    Start by complimenting yourself on things that you've achieved. Take all the things in your life that YOU'VE made happen, and pat yourself on the back for every single one of them. And definitely surround yourself with people that add positive things to your life. I've actually had to cut friends out of my life because I realized they were not adding anything good to my life. It's actually been a relief!

    Walk the walk for a while. Hold your head up when you walk, smile, and move outside your comfort zone in social situations. Fake it long enough, and you start to realize that you're not faking it anymore! I've gotten to where I can honestly say I love myself and I am confident and happy with who I am regardless of what I look like. That confidence has really driven me to be a more healthy, fit person because I want my son to be the same way!
  • supermom2002
    supermom2002 Posts: 180 Member
    Ugh, we all struggle with this. We are our worst critics.

    My trick: starts first thing in the morning. Pick out the sexiest set of bra and panties (matching of course) and it will put a smile on your face all day long. Putting on old granny panties is just boring. Nobody sees them but you (well, maybe).

    And a pair of killer heels. I have a love affair going on with Nine West. And the best part? Your shoe size doesn't change! I will be a 6 1/2 forever!!
  • dumb_blondes_rock
    dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
    I consider myself pretty confident. You have to think of it this way, if you don't believe in yourself, or your looks, who will? If i go out, i always try to look my best, because when you look good, you feel good. If you think of yourself as frumpy or ugly, you will put that impression of yourself on others
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    I just dress in something somewhat flattering at least, put makeup on and fix my hair.
  • Edenton1
    Edenton1 Posts: 2
    To be honest , My relationship with God. Knowing that he loves me no matter what I look like in a swim suit or if I am in a bad mood on a certain day. I didnt always have this relationship and before I did I had low selfesteam. It is a hard world out there. There is less and less love and acceptance and more anger. Knowing I am loved by God gives me the confidence to go out in the world each day and try to give what I got! I am not trying to preach here, Iam just answering the question.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    Something I'd love to know too because I have none. X
  • trac3
    trac3 Posts: 134 Member
    I'm smart, I'm hella funny and I have a really good heart! I am more than just a body ~ it's just the vessel. People like me for me, whether I'm 200 lbs or 120lbs, I just have to remember to like me for me....:tongue: It's so easy to get wrapped up in just your appearance.:frown:
  • Ayeshat
    Ayeshat Posts: 209
    Hmm.. i gotta say i'm not the best person to be commenting but pretty much being immaculate makes me feel more confident....oh and lingerie.. who says it has to be for someone other than urself ;-)
  • karinaes
    karinaes Posts: 570 Member
    i'm just naturally vein.:wink: not totally cocky, but enough to not understand how people don't fully love themselves and always find something wrong with their bodies :huh:
  • Claible
    Claible Posts: 106 Member
    I started with no confidence. Once I started to lose weight I started to do my hair, makeup and dress less sloppy more fitting feminine clothing. Before I wouldn't do any of those things and would hide under large baggy clothing all the time. Because I do these things doesn't mean I believe you have to wear makeup, do your hair or wear a certain clothing ( I buy most of mine at goodwill or wal-mart, target ect.) I do it because it makes me feel like the woman I have grown to love. Now I walk around at work, home and out shopping with a real smile on my face and it shows in the face of everyone I see.

    I guess my advice is do something everyday for yourself and smile your real smile.
  • AdrienneKaren
    AdrienneKaren Posts: 168 Member
    I have a scar that goes across my entire forehead. I got it when I was 18. I've had people ask me many times what I did to my face like I'm a circus freak. It bothered me for a long time. I didn't think anyone would like me because they thought I looked gross. Over time, I quit focusing on the scar and all my other imperfections and focused on me as a whole. Yes, I have these bad things, but I have a heck of a lot of goodness on the inside. Sit down with a pen and a piece of paper. List everything good about yourself. Anything you like about you. Hang that up somewhere you'll see it frequently and tell yourself every time you see it that you truly believe those things. Eventually, you will. Also, when you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, tell yourself to stop.
  • Crystalball78
    Crystalball78 Posts: 72
    My sister and I were just talking about the same thing. I have always been told by my family how pretty I was. I was always the biggest girl in my family and I think they wanted me to feel good about myself. I'm not even sure if that's where my confidence came from, because as I got older people outside of my family always told me I was pretty and have nice skin. Now that I'm 33 my looks don't matter to me I love myself imperfections and all. I just know theres more to me then my looks.
  • prism6
    prism6 Posts: 484 Member
    You get beat down enough and finally,after what can be many years,you just figure out that..gee, there is only one of me. No other person on the planet has the same values,emotions,thoughts,dreams...nobody! After 20yrs of marriage and 20yrs of putdowns,and now over 13yrs of trying to come to grips with , I am me and I am ok.... I think I have done. it. I am on my own have been for 13 years ,so maybe I have cheated getting to the right place for me,as I will never allow another insecure person project their meaness or shallowness onto me. Be the very best you can be, This life is our very own personal journey...
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
    confidence/self-esteem with humility minus smugness is an attribute that is nurtured initially by your parents and other family members, and as you venture out into the world, by other adults (teachers for example) and your peers. I think one also acquires confidence through failure, i.e,when you don't do well, be it a "public" or "private" failure. It's never a straight or even road, and by the time you are old enough to be on your own, you can end up "damaged goods." So now, you have this box of rocks that to a degree through no "fault" of your own, it's your life, and you have to take responsibility for undoing the "damage" and a course correction.

    The human species is a social animal so it is natural to seek out the "approval" or validation from others. To varying degrees part of "feeling good" about ourselves is knowing that we fit in, or are accepted. IMO the scale tips in the wrong direction when one's sense of self, including confidence/self-esteem, is strongly dependent upon the opinion of others; Having a strong sense of self is part of maturing emotionally, including all the successes and failures at any given point.

    Men are wrestling with the same issues. They may manifest themselves in a different way in their lives, and in the way they mature emotionally. To be sexually attractive, to have physical attributes that are appreciated and admired, to have a "pleasing" personality or attributes that both females and other males find attractive, to have certain competencies that enable them to more or less fit in with their culture/society at large.

    I think i may have gone off the track in my response; but the question/issue that the OP raised, got my brain hummin."

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