Women--How do you keep your confidence up?

Edenton1

To be honest , My relationship with God. Knowing that he loves me no matter what I look like in a swim suit or if I am in a bad mood on a certain day. I didnt always have this relationship and before I did I had low selfesteam. It is a hard world out there. There is less and less love and acceptance and more anger. Knowing I am loved by God gives me the confidence to go out in the world each day and try to give what I got! I am not trying to preach here, Iam just answering the question.

XXXMinnieXXX

Something I'd love to know too because I have none. X

trac3

I'm smart, I'm hella funny and I have a really good heart! I am more than just a body ~ it's just the vessel. People like me for me, whether I'm 200 lbs or 120lbs, I just have to remember to like me for me.... It's so easy to get wrapped up in just your appearance.:frown:

Ayeshat

Hmm.. i gotta say i'm not the best person to be commenting but pretty much being immaculate makes me feel more confident....oh and lingerie.. who says it has to be for someone other than urself ;-)

karinaes

i'm just naturally vein. not totally cocky, but enough to not understand how people don't fully love themselves and always find something wrong with their bodies :huh:

Claible

I started with no confidence. Once I started to lose weight I started to do my hair, makeup and dress less sloppy more fitting feminine clothing. Before I wouldn't do any of those things and would hide under large baggy clothing all the time. Because I do these things doesn't mean I believe you have to wear makeup, do your hair or wear a certain clothing ( I buy most of mine at goodwill or wal-mart, target ect.) I do it because it makes me feel like the woman I have grown to love. Now I walk around at work, home and out shopping with a real smile on my face and it shows in the face of everyone I see.

I guess my advice is do something everyday for yourself and smile your real smile.

AdrienneKaren

I have a scar that goes across my entire forehead. I got it when I was 18. I've had people ask me many times what I did to my face like I'm a circus freak. It bothered me for a long time. I didn't think anyone would like me because they thought I looked gross. Over time, I quit focusing on the scar and all my other imperfections and focused on me as a whole. Yes, I have these bad things, but I have a heck of a lot of goodness on the inside. Sit down with a pen and a piece of paper. List everything good about yourself. Anything you like about you. Hang that up somewhere you'll see it frequently and tell yourself every time you see it that you truly believe those things. Eventually, you will. Also, when you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, tell yourself to stop.

Crystalball78

My sister and I were just talking about the same thing. I have always been told by my family how pretty I was. I was always the biggest girl in my family and I think they wanted me to feel good about myself. I'm not even sure if that's where my confidence came from, because as I got older people outside of my family always told me I was pretty and have nice skin. Now that I'm 33 my looks don't matter to me I love myself imperfections and all. I just know theres more to me then my looks.

prism6

You get beat down enough and finally,after what can be many years,you just figure out that..gee, there is only one of me. No other person on the planet has the same values,emotions,thoughts,dreams...nobody! After 20yrs of marriage and 20yrs of putdowns,and now over 13yrs of trying to come to grips with , I am me and I am ok.... I think I have done. it. I am on my own have been for 13 years ,so maybe I have cheated getting to the right place for me,as I will never allow another insecure person project their meaness or shallowness onto me. Be the very best you can be, This life is our very own personal journey...

Buddhasmiracle

confidence/self-esteem with humility minus smugness is an attribute that is nurtured initially by your parents and other family members, and as you venture out into the world, by other adults (teachers for example) and your peers. I think one also acquires confidence through failure, i.e,when you don't do well, be it a "public" or "private" failure. It's never a straight or even road, and by the time you are old enough to be on your own, you can end up "damaged goods." So now, you have this box of rocks that to a degree through no "fault" of your own, it's your life, and you have to take responsibility for undoing the "damage" and a course correction.

The human species is a social animal so it is natural to seek out the "approval" or validation from others. To varying degrees part of "feeling good" about ourselves is knowing that we fit in, or are accepted. IMO the scale tips in the wrong direction when one's sense of self, including confidence/self-esteem, is strongly dependent upon the opinion of others; Having a strong sense of self is part of maturing emotionally, including all the successes and failures at any given point.

Men are wrestling with the same issues. They may manifest themselves in a different way in their lives, and in the way they mature emotionally. To be sexually attractive, to have physical attributes that are appreciated and admired, to have a "pleasing" personality or attributes that both females and other males find attractive, to have certain competencies that enable them to more or less fit in with their culture/society at large.

I think i may have gone off the track in my response; but the question/issue that the OP raised, got my brain hummin."

Dayna154

Is it possible to be up and feel good and confident 24/7/365? I can’t and haven’t up til now.
I know I will have good and bad days. I push thru the bad ones the best I can and enjoy the good ones to the fullest.
I don’t depend on others on how I feel cause I own my emotions good and bad. No one can make you feel anything, all we feel is how we choose to react to others..

So you have to just decide to be a happier person, it’s not easy but then you takes steps to start making yourself happier. If that means new friends/job/S.O. so be it. Get rid of the users/moochers/abusers in your life. Nothing will change for the better until you do. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about here. You will become something you aren’t and you won’t like it.. Sometimes to make a change you have to MAKE changes. Major changes. They can be scary and hard but in the end isn’t being happy and confident worth it?


After a while you will realize that life is better, I do feel more happy/confident/content and just all around good about myself.
The more I work on myself the more confident I feel, the happier I am. And apparently the more attractive I am to the opposite sex.

EBFNP

Honestly, I think you have to start loving yourself. I never been the one to look for validation through others. When I became happy with my life and success it showed in my confidence mentally and physically. Maybe you should talk to a counselor or family members about your fears. If you have low self esteem, the only way to improve it is to start from within and others won't matter.

MaraDiaz

I don't have any confidence, but I do have the ceaseless, burning determination that NOBODY is ever again going to take advantage of that fact.

It's a start.