I miss the way I used to eat....And I feel worse now then I

I started dieting and working out vigoriously about 3 months ago. I lost about 60 pounds and I went from a size 38 waist to a size 32. I went from somewhere around 220lbs to weighing about 171lbs. At first I was all gung-ho about making this lifestyle change. I was confident and loved getting complimented. Now...I just miss the way I used to eat. I miss all my favorite candy, and I know the response will be, "it's ok in moderation once every two weeks" or something like that, but that...that will just make me feel worse. I miss not having to worry about my calorie intake. I miss being able to be like, "yeah sure I'll have a burger," or "yes I would love some pizza." I figured by this time I would love the way I look, and I do, but is it really worth it? Nothing has changed in my personal life and it's making me so depressed and confused. I feel worse now, than I did when I was fat. What should I do?
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Replies

  • mmstgr
    mmstgr Posts: 578 Member
    I'm sorry I can't offer any useful advice.
    I have not cut anything out of my diet. I allow myself to have the things I've always enjoyed.
    Yes, a part of it is moderation... BUT... If I am feeling greedy, I'll plan ahead and make other meals smaller, or workout extra hard to make up for it.
  • tameko2
    tameko2 Posts: 31,634 Member
    wait. You lost 60 lbs in 3 months??? Holy crap. What are you eating? no wonder you feel miserable and deprived, you must be starving yourself to be losing so fast.
  • mhotch
    mhotch Posts: 901 Member
    Now when I go back to the unhealthy foods I used to eat, I find it gives me terrible indigestion. So I guess its easy for me not to miss it. Its not worth the pain.
  • Edithrenee
    Edithrenee Posts: 546 Member
    wait. You lost 60 lbs in 3 months??? Holy crap. What are you eating? no wonder you feel miserable and deprived, you must be starving yourself to be losing so fast.

    This!!!
  • AshJasper
    AshJasper Posts: 51 Member
    wait. You lost 60 lbs in 3 months??? Holy crap. What are you eating? no wonder you feel miserable and deprived, you must be starving yourself to be losing so fast.

    you gotta remember that the more you weigh the faster you will lose, at first. so someone who weighs over 200 pounds will lose it pretty quickly, its keeping it off and continuing to lose that's tough..
  • The pain I'm feeling now is worse. Trust me. I can't eat a thing before consulting myfitnesspal. I wish I never found this thing. Now I can't go back.
  • This is so normal! I feel the same way sometimes. I have been giving myself "cheat" or "treat" days when I feel I need the boost. But, yeah, I hear ya! I miss being able to just eat whatever without worrying about how many calories, carbs, proteins, sugars, fat is in it. MFP definately makes me conscious of what I'm putting in. I miss eating whatever, whenever, and however. But, I love my results. Granted I haven't lost much. 20lbs in 70 days. But, slow and easy is good enough to keep my A** on track!!! Sorry I have no real motivation, I just want you to know your not alone in the way you feel.
  • wildhehr2
    wildhehr2 Posts: 122 Member
    I don't know how helpful this will be, but I'd suggest a challenge. Find a race, or a meet, or a class that you think is just a tad out of reach. Then study, train and prepare to do it. You've met a major weight loss goal, so now you may need something else to fuel you.

    Also, remember that weight loss doesn't magically make things better. You are still you...if there were issues that needed dealt with before, they still do...sounds like maybe you thought things would change more for you once you lost weight.

    I hope you find something that works to keep you motivated!
  • Peta22
    Peta22 Posts: 377 Member
    wait. You lost 60 lbs in 3 months??? Holy crap. What are you eating? no wonder you feel miserable and deprived, you must be starving yourself to be losing so fast.

    I think this says it all... Maybe you should try and focus on slowing things down and having those controlled treats occasionally? This needs to be a lifestyle change, creating new HABITS ect... You must have been incrediably controlled and strict to achieve what you have already so why not look at that as a good start and use that self control to be more relaxed sbout your diet - not silly but balanced! Remember this journey is forever so try to treat yourself along the way.

    Hope you understand what I mean :)
  • ucaminax
    ucaminax Posts: 157 Member
    Just a thought...sometimes we pack on the pounds to protect ourselves from emotional pain that we haven't dealt with. Food can act on the brains of some people the same way narcotics act on an addicts brain. I know for myself I definitely self-medicate with food. If you are feeling depressed, that is a serious medical and emotional problem, and you should talk to a counsellor or shrink maybe about what is going on. Plus, like another poster said, you lost a lot of weight very quickly, and you may have thrown your brain chemistry off, causing depression, too. Maybe get some healthy fats in your diet, take some fish oil tablets (fish oils have been shown to be effective in helping mild depression-but google how much you should take because it is probably more than the RDA on the bottle). I had a friend who was obese who got gastric bypass, lost a ton of weight, and as the weight came off she found that a LOT of undealt-with emotions and issues were surfacing for her. It was a really hard time actually.
  • MADDIESMOMMY6611
    MADDIESMOMMY6611 Posts: 140 Member
    Go stuff your face! Is it possible to find a happy medium though? Maybe workout more so you can eat what you want.
  • Raina27
    Raina27 Posts: 133
    You dont have to starve yourself or eat foods you DONT like to lose weight!! Like mmstgr said everything in moderation..dont deprive yourself! You can eat whatever you like as long as it fits within your calorie goals!! I for one am not on a "diet" I am just trying to make better choices...sure I could eat sweets all day like I used to...but then I would be over 400lbs by now still saying that I need to lose weight!! And yes 60lbs in 3 months is FAST!!
  • Annakersey7212
    Annakersey7212 Posts: 23 Member
    I understand some of your struggle, being vegan i say NO to a lot that i used to eat, but remember your health is a more worth while investment. it sucks that our westernized diet is so addicting and harmful.
  • I was a very depressed person BEFORE I started dieting. I thought that if I looked good I would magically feel better about myself, and to tell you all the truth I feel worse now then I ever have. I'm so stressed, and my body always acts negitively when junk food enters my system. My family and friends all sit around eating whatever they want and I'm stuck eating a 4oz peice of fish and a salad. It's killing me. And no they won't join me on this diet, I don't have that kind of family. And now I'm stuck with feeling like this because if I start eating like I did I will feel so guilty and feel even worse.
  • I'm sorry I can't offer any useful advice.
    I have not cut anything out of my diet. I allow myself to have the things I've always enjoyed.
    Yes, a part of it is moderation... BUT... If I am feeling greedy, I'll plan ahead and make other meals smaller, or workout extra hard to make up for it.

    Pretty much this.

    60 pounds in three months is beyond amazing... But the problem with such rapid weightloss, is that whatever you did to accomplish that is quite often a VERY difficult lifestyle to maintain. I have a lot of weight to lose. (Precisely 119 pounds when I started...) In 3 months I've lost about 25 pounds, which isn't bad, but clearly it could have been more if I'd wanted to really drop the weight fast. The thing is, as badly as I want to lose this weight, I also don't want to sacrifice "normalcy" to do it. I eat pretty much whatever I want. I just eat more often, but less in one sitting. There is absolutely nothing I miss. I have been eating pizza, chocolate, cookies, ice cream, etc. As far as not wanting to count calories for the rest of your life, I do feel you on that. I wish I could just trust myself to regulate things and maintain a healthy weight, but I doubt that will ever be possible. So the idea of essentially "being on a diet" for the rest of my life is pretty daunting. But other than recording my food, I don't usually *feel* like I'm on a diet, so that makes things bearable.

    I'm not sure what you did to lose the weight, but you might want to adjust things now that you've realized being thin isn't enough to make you happy on it's own. How many calories are you eating per day? If you cut calories too drastically, you could have lowered your metabolism... If that's the case, you might have to accept gaining a bit back in order to build your metabolism back up and increase the amount of food you can eat at maintenance.
  • And I work out outrageously already. I wake up every morning and run for 30-40 minutes, do an an workout, then work on my arms. That's how I lost all this weight. I just...I'm stuck
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    I was a very depressed person BEFORE I started dieting. I thought that if I looked good I would magically feel better about myself, and to tell you all the truth I feel worse now then I ever have. I'm so stressed, and my body always acts negitively when junk food enters my system. My family and friends all sit around eating whatever they want and I'm stuck eating a 4oz peice of fish and a salad. It's killing me. And no they won't join me on this diet, I don't have that kind of family. And now I'm stuck with feeling like this because if I start eating like I did I will feel so guilty and feel even worse.

    Honestly, if you have depression issues, I suggest you go and seek help. There are no simple fixes for depression. While getting on a healthy track can help, there may be other issues that aren't being dealt with.

    Secondly, remember that this is a CHOICE you are making. You CAN eat whatever you want to. You don't have to worry about calories and all that, if you don't WANT to. Own up to your choice. Once you accept your choice and take responsibility, you won't feel so trapped. Feel empowered that you're making good choices for yourself. Otherwise, why are you on this path?
  • tameko2
    tameko2 Posts: 31,634 Member
    wait. You lost 60 lbs in 3 months??? Holy crap. What are you eating? no wonder you feel miserable and deprived, you must be starving yourself to be losing so fast.

    you gotta remember that the more you weigh the faster you will lose, at first. so someone who weighs over 200 pounds will lose it pretty quickly, its keeping it off and continuing to lose that's tough..

    Ash - no, its the FATTER you are the faster you will lose, someone who is 5'2" and weighs over 200 lbs will be able to lose quickly i the beginning, someone who is 6'2" and weighs over 200 lbs is only a tiny bit overweight.

    RazorTazor - you are undereating. You are severely severely undereating. That meal you just described is what, 250 calories? Are you eating that 6x a day for a whopping 1500 calories? AND you are working out super hard?

    I am FEMALE (less muscle than you = slower metabolism), and I work out fairly minimally, and 1500 calories would be just about right for me to LOSE a fair bit of weight - actually I'd never eat that low, its not enough food for me.
  • I was a very depressed person BEFORE I started dieting. I thought that if I looked good I would magically feel better about myself, and to tell you all the truth I feel worse now then I ever have. I'm so stressed, and my body always acts negitively when junk food enters my system. My family and friends all sit around eating whatever they want and I'm stuck eating a 4oz peice of fish and a salad. It's killing me. And no they won't join me on this diet, I don't have that kind of family. And now I'm stuck with feeling like this because if I start eating like I did I will feel so guilty and feel even worse.

    Oh... Well that's very different. I can see where you're coming from. You were hoping there was a physical remedy for the emotional issues that ailed you. I can understand how disappointed you must feel to have accomplished so much, and yet still feel so unsatisfied. :frown:
  • tinkermommc
    tinkermommc Posts: 558 Member
    wait. You lost 60 lbs in 3 months??? Holy crap. What are you eating? no wonder you feel miserable and deprived, you must be starving yourself to be losing so fast.

    you gotta remember that the more you weigh the faster you will lose, at first. so someone who weighs over 200 pounds will lose it pretty quickly, its keeping it off and continuing to lose that's tough..

    As an over 200 I disagree. 60lbs in 2 months is about 5 lbs a week...over 2x anything MFP or anyone else recommends. Following MFP, I'm steady at 2lbs a week. This op must be undereating that amount which isn't healthy, a bad way to form new good habits and leaves him in the spot he is at.

    OP....I once saw a thread that said to put all the information into MFP for your goal weight at maintenance calories and then eat that because that'll be the size you want to be. Maybe try that, It might up your calories so you can get in some of those treats you've been denying yourself and then you can get used to what your normal days should be like and slowly get away from MFP. Good luck.
  • I understand, bc I am an emotional eater as well. However, think of this (it might not help, but I'm taking a shot) do you ever just go out and buy things without checking if you can afford them or researching online for the best price? Also, do you make sure you have time to do things and make your schedule work around other things like work, sleep, etc? Those things are probably easier because you have been doing them longer. It can be stressful to have to log or check first but you do the same sort of thing in your everyday life in other areas. DOn't knw if that makes sense :/
  • theartichoke
    theartichoke Posts: 816 Member
    It sounds like a bit of depression to me too. I struggle with it. I agree that the weight loss has probably uncovered deeper things, self medicating with alcohol, food, drugs...it's all the same. Once the medicine is gone the symptoms return. Adding junk back in won't help. Is it possible that you traded over-eating for under-eating? Over quit working, under has now quit working too. Go back to over and that will quit working again too. Do a little research on depression, if you think it's something that might be affecting you a trip to your doctor can help. If money is an issue check out online support groups, they're wonderful and full of people who understand and can help you find your center and path to becoming whole. I hope all the best for you.
  • JMarigold
    JMarigold Posts: 232 Member
    I'm not surprised. You've been stuck in "diet" mode and now that you are out of it (having reached your goal) you don't have the discipline to eat in moderation. The all or nothing mentality is what drags so many people down I think. It still drags me down, but that's one of the main things I'm trying to change this go around.

    You probably feel like crap partially b/c you've deprived yourself of a lot nutrients in the past 3 months.

    May I ask if you are eating at maintenance? For you it should (I think) be over 2000 calories, more like 2400
  • GoldspursX3
    GoldspursX3 Posts: 516 Member
    OP....Reading what you have posted on here, it seems you have some deeply rooted issues that go beyond what anyone on a forum can help you with. IMO you might want to seek professional help so maybe you can better understand why you have such negative issues towards your appearance.
  • JMarigold
    JMarigold Posts: 232 Member
    And I work out outrageously already. I wake up every morning and run for 30-40 minutes, do an an workout, then work on my arms. That's how I lost all this weight. I just...I'm stuck

    Yes you almost definitely need more food. I don't know for sure b/c I don't know what you eat. But you did say 4 oz of fish and a salad??????? I'd go crazy eating that and even I'm not eating as much as I probably should right now.
  • PeaceCorpsKat
    PeaceCorpsKat Posts: 335 Member
    I just lost 59 pounds in three months and I get it.

    I am not craving anything yet, but I am sure I will be soon.

    My savior is still eating big meals. I love to overeat - lots and lots of food in one sitting.

    So now I will do something like a huge bag of spinach a cup of steamed lentils, a vinagarette dressing and dried cranberries. It's HUGE and like 400 calories.

    So try eating a big meal every few days but make it something that is really healthy. SOmetimes I think you just got to eat because it feels good to stuff yourself.
  • wish21
    wish21 Posts: 602 Member
    Weight loss is not a cure for whats deeply rooted on the inside, but its a start. Just think you've accomplished a weight goal you can concor anything. I've been depressed before and I know first hand what its like. I suggest journaling, and talking a trusted friend or adult. Someone that will not seek to hurt, but tell you the truth out of love. And someone that will guide you in the right direction. You can friend or message me if you like to
  • Tall_E
    Tall_E Posts: 182 Member
    I agree with everyone who is saying that you need - and deserve - more support than you can get in a forum like this. It's tough to work through Depression without help, especially when you've worked so hard to make such big changes and still feel empty. Give yourself the gift of seeing a professional who can walk you through what will make a real personal difference on the inside and then the outside will get into better balance too. You sound like a guy with a lot of determination that can work for you as you tackle the Depression. I'm cheering for you! :smile:
  • Thanks for all the feedback guys and girls. I think what I'm gonna do is take a week off of MFP and just try out something new. Eat what I want ONLY when I know I'm hungry and still excercise and see how much I gain. Sound like a good idea? Feel free to friend me if you wanna follow my story.
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
    Sounds reasonable, and if you start putting on too much you can always pick back up again. Also try to think about healthier choices without anally-retentively tracking every calorie -- i.e. choose water over soda to go with your pizza sometimes, or if you do get soda have a can instead of chugging out of a 2-liter , etc. (the above are just examples)