I miss the way I used to eat....And I feel worse now then I

Articeluvsmemphis

The pain I'm feeling now is worse. Trust me. I can't eat a thing before consulting myfitnesspal. I wish I never found this thing. Now I can't go back.

OH, I see. MENTAL PAIN? I've been there, it's addicting I know. You have to work that out if it means abandoning it altogether.

csingleton80

My honest opinion, and not meant to down you at all, is that there are some underlying issues you have that you have not yet worked on and this is the real reason you are feeling so down and sick. Losing weight and getting to a healthier physical you doesn't make you magically feel better when there are other issues that led you to the overeating in the first place. With how you can't seem to allow yourself to splurge, feel stuck in this diet, and "outrageously" workout as you have said tells me that you were looking for something other then food to comfort whatever it is that's bothering you and what you found was "dieting" and "weight loss" and that's why you have such a mental block to learning to balance healthy and not so healthy foods. Focus on this whole experience being a lifestyle change, not a quick fix or miracle cure. There is no reason for you to deprive yourself or feel like an outsider around your family and friends because you're limited to what you eat, it's making the right decision most of the time and indulging some of the time (not every 2 weeks as you said, you can do it several times a week if you do it right). I hope that you find a solution to what really aches your heart so that you can lead a full and healthy life.

jo_roop

Google healthier desserts..When your family is eating the things you want or miss...Try a healthier way to prepare what you once liked..I know it sounds difficult but it is not...Heathier chocolate smoothies...One tsp. cocoa powder (can be sweetened) one cup milk (your choice) half frozen banana (peel, wrap in wax paper, freeze) and ice in a blender. around 240 calories...sounds like alot but a lighter lunch or supper will satisfy your chocolate craving !! Eat what you want, prepared a bit healthier! You should be proud of yourself..it takes a strong person to lose that much weight!

thinmintme

Oh gosh, I can relate. But mostly due to my having delved into the world of eating disorders. Not willingly, mind you.
But after about a year of 'self recovery', I found MFP and thought, hey, great community, healthy people, healthy eating, I should try this and end my cycles once and for all.
And now I'm a slave to the calorie counter. lol
It's terrible. Sometimes, I'll panic when we're going out to eat, sometimes I'll feel terrible for having gone over. And then some days, like yesterday, my body was craving so much dairy it was unbelievable! Of course, I went over and of course I feel terrible for it.

I think, no, I'm sure, it's the relationship with food itself that is skewed. We are living to eat instead of eating to live. Sure, you can enjoy what you eat but it's unrealistic to eat four slices of pizza in one sitting unless you've the calories allotted for it. It's also detrimental to your health to engage in a McD's outing which, regardless of calories is also high in fat, sodium and simple carbs which will only serve to wreak havoc on my sugar levels. I'm hypoglycemic so a high will most certainly end in a terrible low for me.

(cutting in to add that peeps are 110 calories for four of those little guys. I'm a chocoholic myself so I can't say it would satisfy me, lol)

I also struggle with being 'full'. I used to have a huge issue with overeating, mindlessly shoveling in food until my plate is gone.
As for being full, I tend to equate that with purging. It's a terrible, terrible thing, a habit that I've been fighting for ages to break once and for all. But, I'm human and I slip up every now and then. It usually occurs after I've eaten something I've really enjoyed or something I know is more than 500 calories: then the urge to bring it up kicks in.
(I'm hoping I'm not hurting anyone by sharing this. I just feel the need to share.)

I also find there's a connection between my depression and my eating habits. On low days, I tend to not eat at all, really. On happy days, I eat without worrying so much. I'll count but I won't deny myself anything. And then one other days, every meal is a war.

I don't know what I've done here apart from rambling except to say that you're not alone in your struggle. It does help to talk, though.

MIMITIME

If you are depressed, it doesn't matter if you are fat or thin. You will still be depressed. Seek some medical help on the depression and everything else will work out. You do describe extreme characteristics in your behavior - all gun hoe one way or the other. Tell your medical person so they can makie sure you are not Bi-Polar. If you are Bi-Polar, nothing is going to fix that except the right medications. Four ounces of fish and a salad are not normal. Losing 20 pounds a month is not normal. Please seek mental health immediately. It could change your life in so many good ways. Good Luck

Balice57

I know for me when I start eating more sensibly and losing weight everything else that I need to work on in my life, i.e., a job that is boring, becomes very clear. I become dissatisfied with my life as I become healthier. Losing the weight definitely doesn't fix everything, it sometimes just puts a spotlight on the other things you need to work on. I've had the experience of losing a significant amount of weight then finding I wasn't ready emotionally for the attention that brought, so I quickly put weight back on. Now I'm more mature and ready to be healthier for the rest of my life. It is for the rest of my life, though, so I'm going to be eating at least 1,500 calories a day. You need to start eating some of the things you love, not over-exercise, and enjoy life!

Malomar3

Razor - Seriously?

Are you a troll or is this for real. My son-in-law competes in crossfit games and definitely "works out like crazy", which means that he needs to eat in excess of 5,000 calories a day to maintain his weight.

And I don't think your family and friends can eat "anything they want" and not get fat.

Lastly, no one is requiring you to be thin. If you enjoy life better on the chubbier side, than that's okay for you. In 2012, media tells us that we should all want to be thin, but there have been plenty of times throughout history when a more Rubenesque form was the societal ideal, and I am sure that it will be again. BTW - there are a lot of people today who still prefer a more solid physique, and don't like the looks of stick-thin models.

MaraDiaz

Right now it sounds like your weight loss isn't getting you what you want. But look down the road a year or two and think about how much easier it will be to get what you want later if you're fit, healthy, and good looking.

Time to take the long view on this one.

zornig

Some of you are missing the point. I miss eating things I ate before I lost the weight. For example (and since it's Easter and I'm missing out on all of my favorite things) jelly beans,marshmallow peeps, cookies, brownies, Pizza, wings, hamburgers ect. Yes it's ok it eat in moderation but, for example, a moderation for peeps is like 1 peep. That would make me miss them even more. And I already do plan ahead. Sometimes I plan up to a week ahead and follow that plan verbatim.

Whereas I'd say "a box of peeps once a year is moderation"!

zyxst

OP - I know how you feel. I spend a lot more time being stressed over how much I'm eating now than I did last year when I ate what I wanted. I do eat pizza, cookies, cupcakes, etc. in moderation, but knowing my next four days of meals will have pizza is disheartening (I love pizza so much!). It's especially difficult to go out with friends to a favorite restaurant because they have empty plates and mine has 2/3 of the meal left.

Not being able to get nutritional info for foods and unable to find out how much I burn doing certain exercises really super frustrate me. I hate being forced to guess how many calories is in this sandwich. Now I'm doing my own vent, sorry.

Anyway, I just want you to know you aren't alone feeling this way. {hug}

ByrdMessy

Some of you are missing the point. I miss eating things I ate before I lost the weight. For example (and since it's Easter and I'm missing out on all of my favorite things) jelly beans,marshmallow peeps, cookies, brownies, Pizza, wings, hamburgers ect. Yes it's ok it eat in moderation but, for example, a moderation for peeps is like 1 peep. That would make me miss them even more. And I already do plan ahead. Sometimes I plan up to a week ahead and follow that plan verbatim.

That's not an excuse to go back to eating the way you did before, is it? Try something other than "all or nothing". Don't be so strict that you have no life in your life, but don't use your unhappiness as a crutch to hide back into the way you were. Have you ever heard of the law of diminishing returns? Have one peep, but recognize that it's a rule of nature that the second peep will be half as satisfying, so why bother with more than one?

If you are resistant to therapy or can't afford it, friends are the best shrinks around. My true friends and boyfriend are constantly pushing me. And if you don't have someone like that you can trust, get a journal, get away from all this public scrutiny and write, write, write and force yourself to write even more until you have come up with a problem and a solution, a positive plan for a one-day-at-a-time goal for being happy and healthy.

I know you've had a lot of information and differing opinions thrown at you, but I've got another resource. It seems corny, but try something like InnerBonding.com or simply search for 'depression', 'overeating', 'obsessive weight control' on youtube and listen to testimonials from people who've been through it or from professional therapists. Inner Bonding isn't something you should pay for, in my opinion, but it also helps me hugely to use a process (can you tell mine is writing) to understand what's going on in my head (I use tarot cards, too. Pure self-reflection, not mysticism.) Anyway, they guideline steps to overcoming a specific hurdle in your life.

First, recognize that you're in pain, which you've done, and allow yourself to feel that pain without feeling guilty about it.
Then, decide whether you are in pain because you are pushing yourself to love yourself or or if it's because you are trying to protect yourself.
Then ask yourself what and why you are trying to control your diet. Try to get as deep down into your core self for where the insecurity comes from.
Then ask yourself (or your god) what it is you deserve to overcome that has made you guarded or hurt. We're products of our environment, and 19 is the perfect time to place a little blame on your family for how you've been conditioned to love. The important thing, though, is that once you recognize the flaws of your family, it's easier to forgive them for being human and focus on yourself.
After that, you take loving action--you follow a new plan to learn to love new things, to truly love your new lifestyle. Once you do, others will recognize that you are more comfortable in your own skin and they will respond!
The last step is to keep challenging this process and change it up if it's not healing that pain.

Just don't play the IF... BUT THEN game! Lots of people are trying to aid your search for answers. Don't take every one of their IF's--their suggestions--and automatically assume BUT THEN.... for whatever excuse you prescribe it... that it won't work. Cuz I guarantee it, if you believe it won't work before you try it, it ain't gonna work!

rrchris

Well for starters you don't look as though you are very old which means because you did all of this now your later years are going to be sooooo much kinder to you. You won't have to worry about diabetes, high blood pressure and all the "junk" that people with weight issues get. Doctors give them pills because they know that these people aren't going to follow a regimen of getting healthy for themselves..Pills and meds are nothing more than a big ole bandaid for health issues. There is nobody that loves a huge vanilla cream filled donut more than me!! But...I thought about it this week and then found myself realizing that hey..I can go get that donut and gobble it right down, feel like crap and realize okay it's gone...in just a few minutes that donut is gone. Was it worth it to me? For a couple of lousy minutes? Double cheese burger plain at Wendy's...used to be what I would stop and get..then again once it is gone the party is over and there I have managed to add not just the meat and bun but all the sodium for probably a normal persons day.
By now you can tell I am a mom..preaching and all...well I don't mean to. You only get one you...it took time for you to put on the weight and of course to lose it all to your fantastic self!! Everything else will take time too. Every time you want junk food put that money in a jar under your bed...look at it in a month or so and then take that money to go buy yourself something very cool!! You will love that you did that Keep on keeping on..Oh I took up chewing gum...it really does help!! Best wishes to you..

rrchris

I saw your response and immediately thought of one more thing that I do..as I put together 6 Easter baskets vowing not to touch any of it and I didn't..Get in the car and take a ride around town. This sounds really bad but...I promise you that you will see people driving scooters, motorized chairs, etc. For the most part you will see that those people are extremely heavy..That could be you..Is it really worth it? A trip through Wal-Mart has really brought me to my senses more than once..I don't make fun of anyone but I take it as God's gentle nudge while I am cruising the candy aisle. A reminder that I have a goal and a purpose. You too have a goal and a purpose..Peeps won't cut it and again not for the momentary satisfaction that you get from them...Where do you want to be in five years, ten years, etc.?? Start your own fitness group and begin to motivate others!! You KNOW how it is done so share with others!!

ottawagirl613

I understand, bc I am an emotional eater as well. However, think of this (it might not help, but I'm taking a shot) do you ever just go out and buy things without checking if you can afford them or researching online for the best price? Also, do you make sure you have time to do things and make your schedule work around other things like work, sleep, etc? Those things are probably easier because you have been doing them longer. It can be stressful to have to log or check first but you do the same sort of thing in your everyday life in other areas. DOn't knw if that makes sense

never thought about it like that before but shes got a wicked point..

myofibril

I feel worse now, than I did when I was fat. What should I do?

Put the weight back on then.

There is no law that says you have to be slim. Of course if you do put the weight back on you will have to accept the drawbacks that come with it. Where do you want to be the most?

On a general point, at a very basic level most people need to lose this sense of injustice which comes with dieting or physique if they want to be happy and free. This sense of injustice exists entirely in their minds. "It's not fair that I can't eat as much junk as I want and stay slim" "It's not fair that Mr X can eat all day and look ripped" "It's not fair I don't have the genetics of a mesomorph".

Saying it's not fair won't change your reality.

It's about you and no one else. You don't need to look at other people. You need to look inside yourself and conquer your mind. That is life's greatest journey.

I would recommend a book called "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz as a starting point in improving self image.

nataliefallbach

First off, congrats on the recent weight loss, that was a lot to lose quickly. Maybe you should just take a few days off and away from MFP and just keep you cell phone and computer hidden. I think you should do whatever and eat whatever you want for 4 to 7 days then come back and see if that vacation away from all of this helps you with your cravings. Losing weight really is like a second job and sometimes you just need a vacation. I bet you'll come back and be more rested and more motivated.

kealambert

wait. You lost 60 lbs in 3 months??? Holy crap. What are you eating? no wonder you feel miserable and deprived, you must be starving yourself to be losing so fast.

you gotta remember that the more you weigh the faster you will lose, at first. so someone who weighs over 200 pounds will lose it pretty quickly, its keeping it off and continuing to lose that's tough..

that's not always true.

Scorpioangel

I don't know how helpful this will be, but I'd suggest a challenge. Find a race, or a meet, or a class that you think is just a tad out of reach. Then study, train and prepare to do it. You've met a major weight loss goal, so now you may need something else to fuel you.

Also, remember that weight loss doesn't magically make things better. You are still you...if there were issues that needed dealt with before, they still do...sounds like maybe you thought things would change more for you once you lost weight.

I hope you find something that works to keep you motivated!

THIS is good advice! I lost almost 50 pounds and that is what I do now that I am at my goal. I am going to do the Tough Mudder in 2 weeks and the Spartan race the week after that. I need to constantly have new things to keep me going - I love this advice so true!

nursenessa1

It sounds like you self medicate with food for some sort of mental disorder. A psychologist would be great to train you for behavior modification and evaluate the underlying issues.

RazorTazor

I've actually read that book and it hasn't helped.

RazorTazor

Just the decision to keep the weight off or put it back on is completely stressing me out. I've always been the odd man out. No one really spoke to me, so I thought that if I lost the weight I would stand out more, which I did, but it wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be. I would have no problem gaining back the weight but I just went out and spent like 200 bucks on new clothes to fit my new body and rhhshjkkddcvgdsbg I'm just a confused mess. For the first time in months I pigged out. I had candy, cake, and ice cream during the day but came home and workout about for about 2 hours and lost about 700 calories. After punching all that in I still found I was about at 900 calories for the day. Does that mean I can continue to eat like that and still keep my current weight? Granted my sugar was about 60 grams over, my fats were still really low.

Kalynx

Some of you are missing the point. I miss eating things I ate before I lost the weight. For example (and since it's Easter and I'm missing out on all of my favorite things) jelly beans,marshmallow peeps, cookies, brownies, Pizza, wings, hamburgers ect. Yes it's ok it eat in moderation but, for example, a moderation for peeps is like 1 peep. That would make me miss them even more. And I already do plan ahead. Sometimes I plan up to a week ahead and follow that plan verbatim.

Maybe experiment and try to make some of the foods you like but in a healthier way. I have found some recipes that I'm enjoying of foods I liked and actually finding them better then the original. One is homemade chicken nuggets, I loved chicken nuggets but I've learned how to make them homemade and healthier and they are great since I don't feel like im depriving myself. Try some of the stuff at Skinnytaste.com, the food is awesome on there.

This!!

You can make healthy brownies, pizza like things in moderation, good hamburgers (maybe skip half the bun). Make a list of what you like and want and crave and google for healthy versions of it and just try. Most good tasting foods wont have many ingredients and most recipes dont have to be followed exactly. You dont have to be a great cook to make good tasting foods that you will like. Who wants to just eat healthy stuff they dont like for the rest of their life? I dont!!! It has to be a long term thing you can continue with.

I dont think you will find a recipe for marshmellow treats lol but you could work a few into your daily calorie allowance. I bet a lot of your carbs are from fruit and veggies if you are eating healthy enough to lose so much weight quickly, and I wouldnt worry about those carbs/sugars too much. They are natural, take longer to digest, and full of nutrients that your body needs. Its the other carbs (usually man made) that are full of sugar and other bad carby stuff that your body will process the fastest and turn into fat so just keep those in moderation and you will be fine. You seem healthy enough and young enough to have the best of both worlds.

bridgie101

I started dieting and working out vigoriously about 3 months ago. I lost about 60 pounds and I went from a size 38 waist to a size 32. I went from somewhere around 220lbs to weighing about 171lbs. At first I was all gung-ho about making this lifestyle change. I was confident and loved getting complimented. Now...I just miss the way I used to eat. I miss all my favorite candy, and I know the response will be, "it's ok in moderation once every two weeks" or something like that, but that...that will just make me feel worse. I miss not having to worry about my calorie intake. I miss being able to be like, "yeah sure I'll have a burger," or "yes I would love some pizza." I figured by this time I would love the way I look, and I do, but is it really worth it? Nothing has changed in my personal life and it's making me so depressed and confused. I feel worse now, than I did when I was fat. What should I do?

You sound depressed. Losing weight doesn't get you a girlfriend just like that. It doesn't solve all of your problems. It just solves one of them. I see on here a lot of people's motivations are 'lose weight, feel confident, stop doubting myself' etc etc - it ain't going to work that way. Losing weight isn't a global problem solver.

If you are feeling robbed at easter, shut your laptop lid... go have at it. Don't malinger, don't feel bad. Just go hard on the evil scoffing. They say that if you down the chocolate all at once, and then chase it with someting like fruit, you won't consume anything like the calories from it you would get if you ate two bits a day for a month. And it's probably better for your teeth.

Becoming slim and good looking isn't all about suffering and dying and starving to death. You can totally forget your diet sometimes, if you want. Forget you're on it. Have a massive splurge, and be happy. Obviously there's a price tag - you have to go back on the calorie reduced plan. But easter is easter, mate - xmas is xmas. Birthdays have to have cake. it's not about suffering till you die, it's about living in general within a calorie range that means that when it's time to party, you can party.

dnpi

Do not binge on junk food. Eat them in moderation. Otherwise you'll just feel guilty. My advice? DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE! Or join a new class and meet new people and make new friends. Start a new hobby like photography or something. Also, PLEASE EAT MORE! I cannot even imagine eating only 1200 calories a day. And workout for only 1 hour a day. Do something fun in the other hour. I know how you feel. I am and always have been a little 'odd' but i realised that you need to make the effort if you want to make friends. They don't automatically come to you when you lose weight.

kikilareggae

wait. You lost 60 lbs in 3 months??? Holy crap. What are you eating? no wonder you feel miserable and deprived, you must be starving yourself to be losing so fast.

Agreed! It's ok to let yourself have a treat, daily even- in my opinion. Just don't overdo it all the time and maybe have your treat at the beginning of the day? Just find a way to maintain and allow some treats, it'll all balance out!

Ceebee37

you know you can have some bad stuff from time to time, it's ok, it doesn't mean you have failed, just make sure you always exercise regularly. You will have self control, because you mujst of had it in the first place to lose weight. Life is not about depriving oneself. I have a cheat day, that works for me.Others like to have a small treat each day such as some chocolate, a biscuit, a glass of wine, a small bag of chips etc, and that works for them.

rextcat

eat like you used to and spend like 80 hours a week at a gym......or find what makes you feel good and stick with it.....evan if that entails 80 hours a week at the gym

Bevigal

I wish to congratulate you on your weight loss. I am sorry however that you are depressed. Sometimes hormones can get out of whack when you lose so fast. Hopefully you will consider having yourself tested and go from there. There is always a reason for depression. Sometimes you have to solve problem A before you can solve problem B.

pinkraynedropjacki

I'm with the OP. I feel the exact same. I'm hating the fact that the rest of my family can have what they want but I have to plan in advance or just make sure I don't eat anything I might consider over my limit. I miss so many of the stuff I used to have, even the ones that were good for me can now take me over my limit. I hate having to count every little thing every single day. It should not be this hard.

I was all into it 50 days ago when I started. Now I would love to have a pizza. I would kill for a burger at Hungry Jacks. Just once. But if I did that I'd be way way way over limit & not be able to eat anything else for the day. That's not fair on me.

Considering I hit a plateau every 3kg is making it worse. 83kg for 2 weeks, now stuck at 80kg for the last week. Can't even lose 500g.

What's the point anymore if I can't get anywhere....and I'm no longer even losing any size on my hips, waist or hell even my neck.

I feel worse now as well. I'm tired ALL the time, I take enough vitamin supplements to cover what I don't get & I still can't do it.








Give me my food back. I'm sick of this ride.

bridgie101

Just the decision to keep the weight off or put it back on is completely stressing me out. I've always been the odd man out. No one really spoke to me, so I thought that if I lost the weight I would stand out more, which I did, but it wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be. I would have no problem gaining back the weight but I just went out and spent like 200 bucks on new clothes to fit my new body and rhhshjkkddcvgdsbg I'm just a confused mess. For the first time in months I pigged out. I had candy, cake, and ice cream during the day but came home and workout about for about 2 hours and lost about 700 calories. After punching all that in I still found I was about at 900 calories for the day. Does that mean I can continue to eat like that and still keep my current weight? Granted my sugar was about 60 grams over, my fats were still really low.

You're obsessing. Chillax dude... And yes, it does mean that. Most young guys I know work really hard all day, and eat like pigs. My boyfriend can pack away a 12 pack of KFC. He's skinny as hell. He works it off.

I think it might be time to slow down on the dieting, bring yourself up to something like 2000 cals a day and just slow it all down? You're starting to sound a bit anorexic and I'm sure it's not where you want to go with this. You're putting yourself under too much pressure.

Go out with your mates, have a really decent night and don't log the booze. Refuse to feel guilty. What is guilt anyway? You kill somebody?

Save guilt for moral crimes. God is not watching you and he won't send you to hell for what you eat. It's up to you what you eat.

I'm nto telling you to ditch the diet, I'm just saying 'all things in moderation' including dieting. You're doing well. One night off here and there is not going to kill you. You need a mental health day!