Long Distance Relationship

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  • helenoftroy1
    helenoftroy1 Posts: 638 Member
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    I've had a three year long distance relationship. It's hard but there are good points and bad points.

    It's difficult when you miss them soooooo much sometimes it physically hurts and you literally would do anything to see them. It's very difficult saying goodbye each time. It's hard when you have had some good news, or something exciting has happened and you just want to tell them face to face but you can't. It's difficult with "relations as you have weeks of nothing, no contact and then a couple of days of just getting requainted before you have to go weeks again without.
    You can suffer bouts of insecurity which can turn into an argument on the phone about nothing, it's just cos you miss them so damn much.

    The good things are.....
    Every moment is so precious - you date which I think it's a very important aspect of relationships and people don't do it enough.
    Little arguments seem pointless so you let the silly things go as you don't want to waste time.
    You appreciate each other more
    You're never out of conversation and each time you see them you get that spark and little heart flutter

    We talk about moving in together but it can't happen for another year but we make time for each other. Unfortunately there are only so many ways you can say "miss you" and "love you" and honestly it's hard sometimes, when you think you're missing them more than they are missing you etc. but we are making it work, as I'd rather have in my life and 300 miles away than not at all. He is my future and I am his.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Based on personal experience, I am more than willing to make the sacrifice for someone I'm already in a relationship with who has to move for some reason. But I'm not really interested in trying to build a new relationship with someone who doesn't live within reasonable driving distance. I have tried dating someone who lived "only" three hours away by car, and it just didn't work out. Our work schedules made it impossible for us to see each other more than twice a month, and there just isn't any substitute for spending time together when you're trying to get to know a person and establish a relationship.
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
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    Based on past experience, it's difficult but doable under the right conditions. BOTH people would need to be realistic, honest, clear boundaries and goals. Relationships are difficult under the best conditions.

    In other words, if they're hot and have a killer personality: yes, *kitten* away.
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Im an attention *kitten* and a sexual being....I need constant loving. Wouldn't work on my end

    Although this may be true to most of us...let me tell you something. The sex gets so much better!!! When you can't have it as much as your use to or when you want it. OMG Sex is so much more HARDCORE when you do see each other lol

    I'd rather have awesome sex constantly.. than hardcore sex every now and then. :tongue:
  • LeilaFace
    LeilaFace Posts: 412 Member
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    My husband and I started out long distance. I'm from Hawaii and he was stationed at Pearl Harbor I went home to Hawaii for a wedding in 2009 and our friends introduced us at a Bouncing Souls show. We spent 3 days together than I flew back to North Carolina (I spent 6 years there, only 3 for school the rest out of boredom). He came and visited me in May. We drove from Boston to Seattle together in September. I flew back to Hawaii in October then he got stationed at Bangor, WA in November 2009. We had no choice but long distance. We got married in 2011.

    Sometimes it's the only option but I feel like when there's no end in sight it really wears you down.
  • Bethie_B
    Bethie_B Posts: 292 Member
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    Im an attention *kitten* and a sexual being....I need constant loving. Wouldn't work on my end

    Although this may be true to most of us...let me tell you something. The sex gets so much better!!! When you can't have it as much as your use to or when you want it. OMG Sex is so much more HARDCORE when you do see each other lol

    I'd rather have awesome sex constantly.. than hardcore sex every now and then. :tongue:


    This, except I enjoy the hardcore constantly.
  • workingtowardsit
    workingtowardsit Posts: 11
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    I think it just depends on the people involved BUT two people who want it to work will make it happen. I think it would be rather fun planning the next meeting experience, maybe a new destination each time, splitting up arrangement responsabilities so there is the excitement of surprise (what does he have up his sleeve this time). Plus it would be a get away from the everyday so your focus would be on the other person...Yep... I think it would be fun.
  • PepeGreggerton
    PepeGreggerton Posts: 986 Member
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    Im an attention *kitten* and a sexual being....I need constant loving. Wouldn't work on my end

    Although this may be true to most of us...let me tell you something. The sex gets so much better!!! When you can't have it as much as your use to or when you want it. OMG Sex is so much more HARDCORE when you do see each other lol

    I'd rather have awesome sex constantly.. than hardcore sex every now and then. :tongue:

    Well I don't think people typically choose to be in this situation. They do it because they really truly love someone, and you have make sacrifices. Ultimately the idea is to get the hardcore sex all the time and cuddles too :)
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    Based on past experience, it's difficult but doable under the right conditions. BOTH people would need to be realistic, honest, clear boundaries and goals. Relationships are difficult under the best conditions.

    In other words, if they're hot and have a killer personality: yes, *kitten* away.

    Engage AIM!
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    You have to be VERY VERY honest with each other.
    I am in a LDR right now, with someone I USED to be in an LDR with about 7 years ago.
    We were very much in love, but my whole life became about sitting by the phone/online waiting to talk to him. It got too much for both of us, even after meeting a few times, we were still very much in love but he left me.
    Now I'm older, I have my own life and goals, I'm busy with my own stuff, I'm not putting as much pressure on him as I used to. We got back in contact a few months ago and I'm going to see him again in July.
    I'm still as in love with him as I was back then... Sometimes, love waits :)
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    In other words, if they're hot and have a killer personality: yes, *kitten* away.

    Lol, yes. :blushing:

    Seriously though...so many factors. Are both parties willing? Are both mature enough to handle it? It's hard as shiz sometimes...and I've not been in mine all that long (6 weeks) but we're both committed to making it work and we have crazy feelings for one another. We don't plan on being apart long and that certainly helps. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.

    :heart: :drinker:
  • JThomas61
    JThomas61 Posts: 892
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    In other words, if they're hot and have a killer personality: yes, *kitten* away.

    Lol, yes. :blushing:

    Seriously though...so many factors. Are both parties willing? Are both mature enough to handle it? It's hard as shiz sometimes...and I've not been in mine all that long (6 weeks) but we're both committed to making it work and we have crazy feelings for one another. We don't plan on being apart long and that certainly helps. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.

    :heart: :drinker:



    :heart: :smokin:
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 330 Member
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    I personally couldn't have a long distance relationship with someone right out the gate. If I could I would be in one with a good friend of mine in Vegas. But I most likely could if I had been with my partner for a while and something happened that caused us to be apart. I would miss him/her more when he/she was away, but I would know that we already had a good foundation for our relationship.

    More power to those who can have long distnace reltaionship.

    (And no I'm not one of those gals that has to constantly be with her partner. My ex-SO, of 2 and a half years, and I saw each other at most 3 times a week, but 2 of those times were to workout together and generally included his roommate tagging along with us to work out. [Generally it was more like once or twice a week, and again most of that was to work out.] I know he and I could have had a long distance relationship if it had been necessary [but it wasn't]. We had good communication, chemistry, etc.)
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 572 Member
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    Not a good idea.
  • moonsforeyes
    moonsforeyes Posts: 228
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    difficult. Tried it. Would have worked better if we weren't so far apart. Distant caused us to grow apart. We were great when we were close, but when we were apart, not good at all. Depends on the people.
  • Julz2586
    Julz2586 Posts: 1,337 Member
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    I've done it before... its too hard! i need hugs too much lol

    I need the person to be within driving distance so that if i need them i know they will be there or that i can just drive to be with them.... now driving distance i mean less then 2-3hrs at the most away lol.
  • Numptcakes
    Numptcakes Posts: 145 Member
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    Used to be against. How would it ever work? One of you would have to make THE sacrifice, you'll grow apart, blah blah...

    ...and then I fell in love. In 23 days time I'm moving to be with him and we couldn't be happier. Funny how life goes sometimes!
  • logicandlove
    logicandlove Posts: 191 Member
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    Having been in a long distance relationship twice, I know they can work for a while, but I can't do them long term. At some point, it either has to get serious and you bite the bullet and move, or it ends. I'm an incredibly physical person, and I can't handle not actually being with someone at lease every so often. If they're within driving distance and you can get together every weekend, then I can see that working out, but I dated someone fro back home after I moved 2000 miles away, and it was really too much.
  • karmaticgeek
    karmaticgeek Posts: 108
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    I live in America, and I dated a girl in Brazil for about 2 years. It was tough, but for the most part, we made it work well. We managed to see each other about every 3 months on average, and we spent A LOT of time on Skype. :)

    I'm in the UK and seeing a bloke in Brazil now. Skype also features very heavily in our relationship haha. I suppose it is difficult at times but I've been married before and found that a lot harder - mainly because my ex and I were not a good match. If you've found the right person, distance doesn't matter.
  • Little_minx_76
    Little_minx_76 Posts: 36
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    If its what you both really want , it will work

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