question for the ladies be honest here?

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  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Looks are important. If you aren't physically attracted to someone, you can't have a romantic relationship with that person.

    But, for me, deciding "I can do better" has far more to do with character and how a man treats me than what he looks like.
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
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    looks play a role, but looks aren't always everything.. sometimes, the great looking guys tend to be a-holes. or maybe that's just been my experience. :tongue:

    Yes I agree. It's hard to trust the really good looking guys or the women who will hover around him when you're not looking! lol
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
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    No. I met my husband when we were very young. Looks come and go, but his intelligence, sense of humor, morals, and work ethic are here to stay. he has pretty eyes, i love the dimples in his cheeks when he smiles, and he's always has nice muscle definition. I appreciate the way he looks, but that's not the reason we've been together 11 years.
  • AlbaAngel25
    AlbaAngel25 Posts: 484 Member
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    attraction has to play a part in it.... but that was a lot bigger when i was younger. As I matured I started to focus on personality a hell of a lot more. You need both for a good relationship imo!
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
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    No. I met my husband when we were very young. Looks come and go, but his intelligence, sense of humor, morals, and work ethic are here to stay. he has pretty eyes, i love the dimples in his cheeks when he smiles, and he's always has nice muscle definition. I appreciate the way he looks, but that's not the reason we've been together 11 years.

    Sounds like true love to me and a very successful marriage :wink:
  • Batesy76
    Batesy76 Posts: 2
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    Not read all the responses yet but if he can make me laugh he has something
  • jazzalea
    jazzalea Posts: 412 Member
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    Average joe is great for me.... I don't want perfect... then I have to live up to it......

    People keep talking about personality make me laugh etc............We aren't talking about personality though.... the question was based on first impression alone....... do we rule out someone for being just average or do we give them a chance to show off that personality........If my first impression is too laugh when I see you.... that's prolly not going to be good

    The deal breaker for me is facial hair...... too much is just TOOOOO MUCH...... shudders......
  • christyd4
    christyd4 Posts: 191
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    after going through a really rough marriage my whole perspective on what attracts me changed. Yes looks do matter but its a small part of it. I talked to my current boyfriend for a month or so before i even saw his face that allowed me to get to see his personality before his looks.
  • chatipati1
    chatipati1 Posts: 211 Member
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    Well, I look at eyes first...then teeth...if they are missing or really botched up ( i know that sounds shallow) I could never look any further.
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
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    Well, I look at eyes first...then teeth...if they are missing or really botched up ( i know that sounds shallow) I could never look any further.

    That's not shallow. A person with no teeth is not exactly attractive (not meaning to be horrible as I know not everyone can afford to purchase new teeth!) but yeah, it really does help the attraction if they have teeth lol
  • babybluefire
    babybluefire Posts: 100 Member
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    Looks mean nothing to me in a relationship. I would rather date someone old and frankly hideous then most guys that hit on me now a days.
  • momof8munchkins
    momof8munchkins Posts: 1,167 Member
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    I'm a married lady with kids but I will answer the question.. my hubs thinks I.m a hotty ;)..looks are important yes.. but character/morals and someone that has similiar views is MUCH more important!!!. IMO a physcially handsome man that acts like a jerk is ugly..an average guy that is a good guy is golden! Women want a man they can trust and depend on..
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
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    Personality before looks. BUT I do believe there has to be attraction as well.

    ^This. If a guy has a really awesome personality, but isn't particularly great looking, I'd most likely give him a chance. If a guy's a jerk though, I don't care if he looks like Ryan Gosling, it's just not going to happen.
  • spectralmoon
    spectralmoon Posts: 1,230 Member
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    Do you Mr. Average Joe give the woman that just walked with a flat behind but giving you the eye the time of the day?

    You beat me to it. If this is what calls him over and he immediately asks me out without attempting to get to know me, then no, no time of day.
  • nomoreplaying
    nomoreplaying Posts: 36
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    When I was in the game (fine and all, like you say) it depended on the first complete sentence a guy spoke to me. Was the language choppy and full of slang? Did he sound like an intelligent guy or a juvenile? As for looks, was he clean and neat and DID HE SMELL GOOD! Those were my factors, but of course the really good looking ones were eye candy, all the time. but I usually didnt give them the time of day!
  • taryn_09
    taryn_09 Posts: 196 Member
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    initial attraction is needed i think you base if you'll go up & talk to a stranger first off by the physical attraction part. however im always more personality love a guy who can make me laugh & isnt full of drama. i think looks only get you so far, (& we all know you dont look how you look now forever) if there's no actual connection it wont work & why waste your time. im definitely going to pull the line that looks are NOT everything :]
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
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    Hmm..Looks only go so far IMO. It may get you a second look, but if your personality stinks, then forgot about it. The men I'm usually interested in are usually humble but attractive. However, if they are lazy or have no goals/ambition, forget about it! Looks fade, but whats in the inside sustains a relationship, IMO!
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
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    When I was in the game (fine and all, like you say) it depended on the first complete sentence a guy spoke to me. Was the language choppy and full of slang? Did he sound like an intelligent guy or a juvenile? As for looks, was he clean and neat and DID HE SMELL GOOD! Those were my factors, but of course the really good looking ones were eye candy, all the time. but I usually didnt give them the time of day!

    This is sooooo true! If a man ever said something to me that sounded unintelligent or just obnoxious, then I would not pay him any attention. I keep telling people a first impression is a lasting impression.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    People keep talking about personality make me laugh etc............We aren't talking about personality though.... the question was based on first impression alone....... do we rule out someone for being just average or do we give them a chance to show off that personality

    Good point. I will talk to anyone, unless he seems threatening, and I trust my instincts on that. But if I don't find him attractive, I am not going to flirt with him or talk to him in a way that insinuates I might be interested. It's not about thinking I can do better. Like I said before, that's not even how I think about physical appearance. It's just a matter of what appeals to me and what doesn't. "Average" to me might very well be "sexy" to the woman standing next to me.
  • Kellllog
    Kellllog Posts: 81 Member
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    Tbh if the guy makes me laugh, we have something in common, and can have a decent conversation then I'm not bothered by looks.
    I have a type that appeals to me visually... But never been involved with anyone that fits the type!

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