I absolutely hate myself for becoming fat again :I

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Replies

  • lorro
    lorro Posts: 917 Member
    (post I replied to was deleted)
  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
    also, feel free to add me. I'm about the same size you are, and I think I'm hugely overweight too.

    I know, rationally, I'm not (and neither are you), but it doesn't make looking in the mirror any easier.

    Most people on weight loss forums will try to tear you a new one. A lot of people on here have tens of hundreds of lbs to lose, and lifetimes of being treated terribly because of their size to contend with. They hate people like you (like me?) almost as much as you hate that 10 little lbs you put on.

    Talking like this is like rubbing their struggles in their faces, and you may not mean it to be, but it's incredibly rude/hurtful/insensitive/oblivious.

    thank you for this. I was tiny at one point and my ED crashed my entire system and I have battled 10 years of obesity because of what I did to my body. Some of us like the two of you realize at 10 lbs it is time to do something. Some of us like me and some of the others trying to loose mass amounts of weight get pulled down into the cycle and it takes something bigger to wake us up. But crying about how fat you are 10 lbs above where you would like to be does make people feel horrible about themselves and their own trials. We all have a cross to bear and demons to fight. Good luck fighting yours and remember we all are our own worst critics!
  • ElizaRoche
    ElizaRoche Posts: 2,005 Member
    Honey, you aren't actually fat. You may not be where you want to be, but you're being awfully hard on yourself. Stop it.

    Yes I agree. 90% percent of us on MFP wished we were 120 pounds!! :huh:

    me included!!
  • darkmouzy
    darkmouzy Posts: 227 Member
    120 lbs? *sigh* I wish
  • 2kidsandadonut
    2kidsandadonut Posts: 137 Member
    If she does have actual issues she does need to get help.
  • Janet55555555555
    Janet55555555555 Posts: 50
    Just start over! You will do well this time.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    micha, I'm so sorry you hate yourself so much. You are a beautiful girl. Please talk to your doctor about these feelings, The strength of your self hatred, the effect it is having on your life and the fact that you are not at all fat means that it is very likely you may have an illness which affects your perception of your body image. There is good treatment available for this, so I advise you to ask for an assessment. I hope you have a great time with your boyfriend and that his love for you makes you feel a little better about yourself :flowerforyou:

    ^^This. Mischa, please get some help. Hating yourself is a horrendous way to live, but you can change your thinking. If you're still seeing yourself as a fat person (even though you are not fat) and you're using food to cope with stress, you will hate yourself back to being fat. I know firsthand how it's done. Good luck & God bless. :flowerforyou:
  • missjoci
    missjoci Posts: 412 Member
    If you've been working out, keep in mind some of it may be muscle. I've gained 10 lbs in a few short months and all the same clothes fit. Don't focus so much on the scale. Just breathe. You're at a healthy weight. If you want to lose and keep it off, you're going to have to put in more effort to be below your body's own idea of it's ideal weight. So put your feet on the ground and get movin! :) And if your boyfriend is like most men, he's not gonna notice a few pounds unless you point it out...and he'll love you the same I hope! I think most of us struggle with our body image sometimes...I'm right there with you. Just try to keep it in perspective. Feel free to add me if you need extra support. :flowerforyou:
  • missjoci
    missjoci Posts: 412 Member
    In response to all the people offering therapy: I completely agree. I've been going since last year and it has helped to put so many things in life into perspective. It really helps to have a safe place to talk and get healthy and intelligent feedback. :)
  • w_i_n_d_y
    w_i_n_d_y Posts: 216 Member
    I think you've been given some great advice, hope you follow it because you are a beautiful girl.
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
    In my teens and twenties I felt this way. Very pre-occupied with how others perceived me (possibly similar to what you think your boyfriend will think of you when he sees you).

    Now in my 30's I am more focused on being healthy than thin. It is amazing how much less stress I have feeling this way.
  • barackobamamama
    barackobamamama Posts: 21
    You ate that for breakfast? That's not what your food diary says.

    I weigh 223 pounds. My goal weight is 120 pounds. You gained 10 pounds in 9 months. Boo hoo.
  • HotBodUnderConstruction
    HotBodUnderConstruction Posts: 420
    First, just because her struggle appears less severe for most of you because she *only* gained 10lbs that doesn't lessen the psychological impact that "gaining" weight has on an individual. She was used to looking a certain way, and now she doesn't. Ten pounds is an entire dress size (if it's all fat), and if you have a closet full of fitted clothes, a 10lb gain (a dress size) makes it impossible to fit into anything hanging in your closet anymore. When I gained 20lbs NOTHING fit me and it was demoralizing to empty out my entire closet every morning to find that not a single thing would zip up.

    Second, OP- I'm sorry that you feel the way you do, I really do. I completely understand how you're feeing right now, but I urge you to pick yourself up and put that energy into working your butt off. You gained the weight, you can't go back to where you used to be this instant, but you are definitely capable of getting back to where you were ...and even BETTER. Buy a couple of cute Summer dresses that actually fit in the mean time (so that you feel better about the way you look *right now*) and slowly as you drop the weight you can ease back into your wardrobe. If I can do it, I promise, you can too :)
  • Saruman_w
    Saruman_w Posts: 1,531 Member
    120lbs, fat? Uh.. no. Not even close. You'd have to be ridiculously short for that to ever be considered fat.
  • MDawg81
    MDawg81 Posts: 244 Member
    I generally take forum posts on this site very seriously, but being upset that you gained 10lbs over a year, and calling yourself fat at 120lbs lead me to believe this person is trolling. If not, I don't even know what to say.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    also, feel free to add me. I'm about the same size you are, and I think I'm hugely overweight too.

    I know, rationally, I'm not (and neither are you), but it doesn't make looking in the mirror any easier.

    Most people on weight loss forums will try to tear you a new one. A lot of people on here have tens of hundreds of lbs to lose, and lifetimes of being treated terribly because of their size to contend with. They hate people like you (like me?) almost as much as you hate that 10 little lbs you put on.

    Talking like this is like rubbing their struggles in their faces, and you may not mean it to be, but it's incredibly rude/hurtful/insensitive/oblivious.

    Hate? No. I've been there. I've even been underweight and thought I was fat. Do I have a harder time sympathizing now that I'm very overweight? Maybe. But it is also worrisome when someone is in the normal range and hates the way they look that much. It's really easy to go from seeing imperfections that are either minor or aren't there at all to starving yourself into serious health issues. I know, because I've done it.
  • denisem23
    denisem23 Posts: 6
    Agree with Sprinkies, I would love to be 110 pounds, errr well actually I would probably not love that because I think for me and my build that would be just too thin, but i would actually love to be 140 pounds, but I am not. I am 179 pounds and yes once in a while I have a moment where I look in the mirror and despise what I see and other times I look in the mirror and love what I see and that I just need a bit of improvement and a little more hard work.

    Sounds to me that you should be more worried about your mental health then your physical health. It is not healthy to have a disproportionate opinion of your body weight, obsess over it, desire to be much thinner to the point of depression when technically your at a healthy normal body weight to begin with. I am not saying you are crazy or being mean here, just being realistic. So many young women DO face this problem of self image and that may be something that needs to be worked out with your doctor and not physical trainer. Discuss with him or her how you feel and see if their opinion is that your weight is where it needs to be.

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