Corrupt A Wish!

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135

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  • zinok
    zinok Posts: 185
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    You sleep in tomorrow and miss a phone call that legitimately was giving away a free trip. They give it someone down the road and you have to endure them showing you the photos when they get back.

    I wish I could kiss Patrick Stewart!
  • AmberFaith90
    AmberFaith90 Posts: 904 Member
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    Wish granted! But it's only one kiss and you will not kiss anyone else for the rest of your life!

    I wish I could eat pizza rolls without any guilt.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    I wish I could eat pizza rolls without any guilt.

    You eat guilt-free pizza rolls, but they are also taste-free, satisfaction-free, and happiness-free

    I wish I didn't have to clean at work.
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
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    I wish I didn't have to clean at work.

    you're fired.

    I wish I got my new phone sooner.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    you're fired.

    I wish I got my new phone sooner.

    You got your new phone today!

    It drops all important calls.

    I wish cake didn't smell so good.
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
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    That smell is actually the smell of chloroform...

    I wish I had a crispy bacon sandwhich right now.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    You have that lovely sammich in front of you, but while agonizing over the fear and shame of having to log it in after eating it, it gets COLD, all nasty, gelatinous and inedible!!!

    I wish I had a long nap...
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    I wish I had a long nap...

    You take a nap. You wake up 11.6 years later.

    I wish "negative calories" were real.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    Negative calories are real...you now look like a walking x-ray!

    I wish I could go to Disneyworld every year...
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    I wish I could go to Disneyworld every year...

    Whenever you go to Disneyworld, there are millions of County-Fair-Carneys who hit on your and pick your pocket.

    I wish I knew wtf I was doing.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    You realize the innate cruelty of what you are doing(corrupting wishes) and fall into a deep inconsolable depression.

    I wish someone would change the litterbox.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    I wish someone would change the litterbox.

    Someone cleans the litterbox

    and finds the priceless diamond you swallowed while cat-burgling a millionare's mansion. They pawn it, and are now living large, while you are stuck at home, newly filling your litterbox.

    I wish I knew where I put my watch.
  • MrDude_1
    MrDude_1 Posts: 2,510 Member
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    you find what you think is your watch, but it turns out it was a stolen watch. the police arrest you for thinking you are guilty of a murder related to the theft, but you rot in jail for the rest of your life without even going to trial.

    I wish i didnt have to poop.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    you dont have to poop, but you suffer from horrible constipatio, fill up with *kitten* and die

    I wish I had a unicorn
  • vwghiafreak
    vwghiafreak Posts: 15 Member
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    You have a unicorn, but it tragically stabs you in a race as you frolic through the woods looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

    I wish I could fly.
  • Just_Dot
    Just_Dot Posts: 2,289 Member
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    You grow wings and fly...until the government shoots you down and performs vivisection on you.

    I wish this day was over.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    The unicorn will eat some tainted glitter and run its horn through your eye, piercing your brain.

    I wish this day was over.

    The day is over, but that is because you were in a horrible accident and now have eternal rest

    I wish I had the winning Mega Millions ticket
  • Snubbleup
    Snubbleup Posts: 66
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    You have a unicorn, but it tragically stabs you in a race as you frolic through the woods looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

    I wish I could fly.

    You learn to fly but can't seem to control the altitude very well, flying way too high and you get sucked through a jet engine and your grisly death is posted on youtube by one of the passengers.

    I wish I had a one storey house.
  • sisierra
    sisierra Posts: 707 Member
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    The unicorn will eat some tainted glitter and run its horn through your eye, piercing your brain.

    I wish this day was over.

    The day is over, but that is because you were in a horrible accident and now have eternal rest

    I wish I had the winning Mega Millions ticket

    You had the winning Mega Millions ticket but when you are walking outside to take it into the bank a gust of wind carries it away into a puddle and ruins it.

    I wish I could speak 20 languages
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
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    you learn 20 languages, and then go deaf


    i wish i was a goldfish

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