The double standard of beauty ~and~ boys/girls.

_snw_

I’ll try to make this quick, but I have a few details I don’t want to miss… (I know – words, words, words. Just skip it if it’s too much)

Yesterday I was in a super cranky mood and did a mass deletion of my friends list. Nothing personal, but in an effort to manage the support I can give, I deleted anyone I didn’t think I’ve “spoken” to in our newsfeeds over the past week. (note: if a friend thought I made a mistake, pm me. No need to go all public. Sheesh.)

ANYWHO …

In the UNquest to get more FRs from people who didn’t really want to FR me for any other reason than I have awesome socks, I went out on google images and copied a picture of the first less-than-attractive girl I found and made her my profile picture. Now, ~pubically~, I didn’t make fun of this girl, in fact, I said what her profile picture said about her was “I’m awesome”. (I did make an unfortunately timed joke about her fingers looking like snausages, but I didn’t mean that in any “fat” kind of way. Her fingers just were funny to me, which, I removed the joke soon thereafter. )

I got some serious hatemail. How I shouldn’t use someone else’s picture like this. How would I feel if someone else used my picture. And on and on and on. Okay, so I ended up offending some. Totally wasn’t my intention. Someone pointed out it was because she was less-than-skinny. That actually had zero to do with it.

And now to my point… I see girls with profile pictures of pretty girls who are not them ALL THE TIME. Models, actresses, random people off the internet. Honestly, with the exception of the snausages comment, what the hell is the difference here? Why aren’t they receiving hatemail? They did the same exact thing I did – they took a picture, off the public internet, and made it their profile picture. Um, me too. Can an attractive girl not pose as an ugly girl but an ugly girl can pose as an attractive girl? Are we really that brainwashed by how beauty is portrayed to us?

Oh – the boy angle … When cute boys here have crazy ugly dude pictures as their profile – it’s totally cool. So is this just another double standard?

infamousmk

These are all very interesting points and I love your brain. I think there are a lot of double standards about beauty out there.

catherine4211

Well hell. I do like your socks. You have made an excellent point.

PapaverSomniferum

:flowerforyou:

lickmybaconcakes

Yep another double standard on profile pictures :grumble:

_Christine_

As women we can't make fun. I see it all the time. A guy cracks a joke ranging from politics to religion and everyone laughs. A woman does it and she's a *****. I constantly censor myself because I know my sense of humor will be lost on a lot of folks. Not because it's not funny, but because I'm a woman.

*That being said… at a bar… I’m a hoot!

tig_ol_bitties

Yep, it's completely unacceptable. We all must conform to a standard-issue beauty regime. If you fail this, or use images depicting such failure, this makes you a horrible, awful person. The end.

Il_DaniD_lI

It's totally different. Women use pictures of the beautiful women as an inspiration and I'm sure the beautiful women who have their pic being used as someone elses DP would take it as a compliment.

What you did (from the sounds of it) is not anything near that. I know I would be hurt if someone used my picture as a DP because they thought it was "unattractive" and would get less friend requests. Just remember - that is an ACTUAL person you found on that Google search.

MrEmoticon

it's because most people are a-holes. Don't try to look for reasons, you'll just feel more dumb for trying to be on their level.

ElizabethRoad

It's totally different. Women use pictures of the beautiful women as an inspiration and I'm sure the beautiful women who have their pic being used as someone elses DP would take it as a compliment.

What you did (from the sounds of it) is not anything near that. I know I would be hurt if someone used my picture as a DP because they thought it was "unattractive" and would get less friend requests. Just remember - that is an ACTUAL person you found on that Google search.

If it's posted without comment why is that a problem?

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

people just don't understand....

Chagama

Interesting post, and well said. If people don't want to use their own picture, than put up something other than a picture of another person. Male or female, should be the same.

And your socks are great.

iHEARTcardiacnurses

Well the good news is that when the zombie apocalypse comes, you won't be the self-acclaimed attractive girl anymore! You'll be a blood thirsty decomposing corpse just like the rest of the "less than attractive" girls out there. No new ideas here, people have been poking fun at snausage-fingered people for ages. For someone who seems pretty unique, you could do better.

Besides, beauty comes from within. Making fat jokes isn't a good reflection of who you could truly be. Your tattoos reflect the person within. How would you like to get "Snausage-finger hater" inked on your arm?

penrbrown

When people post a beautiful picture as their profile they're doing it for positive reasons, usually. Either as motivation or because they think that person is beautiful.

When you deliberately post a profile picture of someone you think is 'less then attractive' just to keep people back... that's offensive to the person whose picture you're using and not a positive reason to be CHOOSING that picture.

I've never known anyone to deliberately choose a profile of someone who is not their idea of beautiful... what an odd choice.

dlw13

Yeah, plenty of double standards. You have awesome socks, and awesome ink!

jenbit

You forget darlin that we live in the world of the dreaded PC (political correctness) Heavens forbid you crack a poor taste joke or use an inappropriate word. Then everyone will get all butt hurt. Personally I thought you were conducting an interesting experiment on how society views women and people should get the sand out of their vaginas and put their big girl/boy panties on already

_binary_jester_

People are desperate to be offended by anything...

melbot24

Well the good news is that when the zombie apocalypse comes, you won't be attractive anymore!

Besides, beauty comes from within. Making fat jokes isn't a good reflection of your potential.

This.

Picola1984

Someone actually went out of their way to send hate mail on My Fitness Pal?

Oh dear

PapaverSomniferum

People are desperate to be offended by anything...

I am desperately offended. How dare you say I am out trying to be offended. You are being insensitive towards the interests of overly socially conscious individuals on the internet. You need to step back and re-evaluate your way of thinking.

Bikini27

These are all very interesting points and I love your brain. I think there are a lot of double standards about beauty out there.

This.
We aren't allowed to make fun of someone if they are in any way overweight. But the skinny bashing....Good God people.

Before I get on that rant, though, I step off my soapbox and say you are awesome. Your mind is an awesome thing and to hell with the haters.

:smokin:

stormieweather

I think...if someone uses another person's photo as a profile pic or in a post, it is usually for one of 2 reasons. 1 - to honor and to indicate a desire to emulate that person. Or 2 - to mock and belittle and to indicate a desire to NOT be like that person.

The first is a compliment and the second....is not.

I think it has zero to do with boys or girls, but everything to do with intent.

That said, I like your socks too. :flowerforyou:

AmberJslimsAWAY

It's totally different. Women use pictures of the beautiful women as an inspiration and I'm sure the beautiful women who have their pic being used as someone elses DP would take it as a compliment.

What you did (from the sounds of it) is not anything near that. I know I would be hurt if someone used my picture as a DP because they thought it was "unattractive" and would get less friend requests. Just remember - that is an ACTUAL person you found on that Google search.

What if she was using it as motivation to NOT look like that, then would it be the same thing?

treehugginpam

It's totally different. Women use pictures of the beautiful women as an inspiration and I'm sure the beautiful women who have their pic being used as someone elses DP would take it as a compliment.

What you did (from the sounds of it) is not anything near that. I know I would be hurt if someone used my picture as a DP because they thought it was "unattractive" and would get less friend requests. Just remember - that is an ACTUAL person you found on that Google search.

^ This.

What you did is not at all an example of the double standard of beauty. Using a picture of a beautiful woman as your profile picture for inspiration is not at all the same thing as hunting down a picture of someone who you think is so unattractive that they are "funny" and then posting it as your profile picture so that you can make fun of her fingers and "ward off" new friend requests.

Making fun of someone and using their "less than attractive" picture as your profile picture to fend off friend requests and then tacking a feminist argument to it? That is so completely off the rails that I can only assume you must be trolling. Yet I still took the bait...

Scott613

When you post anything there are always people who do this!

odusgolp

It's so good to be fabulous.

Sh1tsRainbows

I think we all have bad days, where we want to delete our friends.

I wasnt offend by your snausages but i guess i can see how some people would be...i mean isnt this what this site is all about?? getting rid of our snausages???

but I also feel MFP is for our Steve Perry (for Kourtney)..and if we cant laugh once in a while we'd fall off the wagon every day.

BrettPGH

Well it's because people are insane. Just the fact that you used the phrase "less than attractive" clearly upset some people. They want to live in a world where every person is beautiful outside as well as in.

It ain't the real world, but that won't stop them from bashing anyone they can even remotely perceive as bashing someone else. No matter what lengths they have to go to in their head to convince themselves that you hurt someone's feelings.

And when they're done sending you that hate mail they smirk and call you a skinny b!tch and think they've done a noble thing.

_SusieQ_

I think...if someone uses another person's photo as a profile pic or in a post, it is usually for one of 2 reasons. 1 - to honor and to indicate a desire to emulate that person. Or 2 - to mock and belittle and to indicate a desire to NOT be like that person.

The first is a compliment and the second....is not.

^^This part I agree with, which I already told you.

I think it has zero to do with boys or girls, but everything to do with intent.

^^This part I don't. I think you are correct, that there is a double standard, on here and in life. Make fun of the fat b@stards, but don't dare make fun of an unattractive female. I don't want to admit it, but I find a lot of truth in it. *hangs head in shame*

_snw_

Making fat jokes isn't a good reflection of who you could truly be.

wait. i never ever made a fat joke. (i treid to explain the snausage finger joke had nothing to do with weight. when on earth do stubby fingers == fat joke? i'm getting off point here though ... the picture had NOTHING to do with weight. And no negative comment was made.

doorki

This is why I only post pictures of myself.



Seriously, though, it is because we pretty much stop socially evolving in High School where men are expected to be crude a$$es and women are supposed to be composed and virginal. In my office today, we have the attractive women that lunch together, the jocks who hangout together and the IT/programmer clique. Everyone appears to stay in their High School-esque social role.